Mindfulness For Menopause

Menopause can be a real struggle for many women. The symptoms can be very tough. This talk and meditation is for those women. You are not alone in this. Learn how to separate the facts from the stories so you don't drown in damaging thoughts.

Transcript

Menopause.

Menopause.

What comes to your mind when I say that word?

Dread.

Fear.

Anxiety.

Sadness.

Sadness.

I'm now fully in menopause,

And to be honest,

I've recently been struggling with it.

At first I thought I was sailing through it.

Hardly any symptoms and no periods.

Ka-ching!

Result!

But then,

Bam!

The symptoms hit.

Literally overnight I started with the sweats,

And the symptoms have slowly been increasing and intensifying.

Loss of sex drive.

Negative and anxious thoughts.

Emotions galore.

And even more sweats.

This is not as easy a drive as I thought it was going to be.

I'm usually an upbeat and positive person,

And so the changes have caused me some real confusion.

And has led to a constant roundabout of questions and thoughts.

Should I take HRT or not?

Will I ever have sex again?

Where has this fat come from?

Why can't I concentrate?

Am I ever going to feel normal again?

Why am I feeling so anxious?

I don't know what the point is anymore.

Ladies,

This stuff feels real.

But what can we do about it?

Well,

We can do our research and try and manage our physical symptoms in the best and most healthiest way for us.

What's right for us.

But we also need to manage our thoughts around this issue.

One of the things I have recognised over the past couple of days are the stories my mind is creating about this.

All the what-ifs and the scenarios that I've played out appear very real to me at the time.

And cause me upset and fear.

But the truth is they're not real.

They're stories.

True,

Some of them might happen.

But probably most of them won't.

For example,

Am I truly losing my mind?

Is my personality really changing?

No.

Hormones are out of balance and are creating a cascade of chemical and physical and emotional reactions in me.

But I'm not losing my mind.

I'd like to read an excerpt to you from The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle that has really helped me.

It reads,

If there is unhappiness in you,

First you need to acknowledge that it is there.

But don't say,

I'm unhappy.

Unhappiness has nothing to do with who you are.

Say,

There is unhappiness in me.

Then investigate it.

A situation you find yourself in may have something to do with it.

Action may be required to change the situation or remove yourself from it.

If there is nothing you can do,

Face what is and say,

Well right now this is how it is.

I can either accept it or make myself miserable.

The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation,

But your thoughts about it.

Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking.

Separate them from the situation,

Which is always neutral,

Which always is as it is.

There is a situation or the fact and here are my thoughts about it.

Instead of making up stories,

Stay with the facts.

For example,

I am ruined is a story.

It limits you and prevents you from taking effective action.

I have 50 cents left in my bank account is a fact.

Facing facts is always empowering.

Be aware that what you think to a large extent creates the emotions that you feel.

See the link between your thinking and your emotions rather than being your thoughts and emotions.

Be the awareness behind them.

That's the power of now by Eckhart Tolle.

So let's see if we can see what is fact and what is story for us.

I invite you to close your eyes if you wish.

I am going to ask you a question and I want you to really notice what goes on in your mind.

Watch carefully the goings on as if you are someone else and outside are observing the response.

What is menopause like for you?

What did you notice?

What thoughts did you observe?

Did you notice any emotions rising?

Anxiety or fear?

Panic or dread?

Now you are observing these thoughts and emotions as an observer,

As someone apart from them.

Is it possible to separate the facts from the stories?

So for me a fact would be my mind is foggy at this time and I am finding it more difficult to concentrate.

The story would be I am going to lose my mind.

See if you can sift through what is there for you and separate the fact and the stories.

Being able to do this helps us to face the facts and enables us to find out if we have any control or influence over them.

So a fact for me is that I have lost my sex drive.

The story would be I will never get it back.

I can then look at the pure fact.

At this time I have lost my sex drive.

Is this something I have control over?

Can I do something about it?

I could look into it.

I could research it.

I can talk about it with my husband and my friends who have already been through the menopause.

I can read about it.

I can see if there is anything I can do to influence or change this situation.

This gives me my power back.

I don't feel helpless or hopeless anymore.

And when the thoughts,

The stories come back,

They don't have as much strength to hook me because I am taking the reins.

I am doing something about it.

But what about a fact that maybe I don't have control over?

What if the fact was I am never going to have children anymore?

For me that's not a negative,

But for some that might be a real sadness.

Here is where we face what is.

We acknowledge exactly how we feel.

But we don't get sucked into the stories.

I will never bear a child from now on.

Fact.

I notice there is sadness here.

Where does sadness sit for me in my body?

What does that sadness look like as a physical sensation?

Acknowledging the feeling,

The emotion and investigating it is good.

Identifying with it as in I am sad is not.

This is where the entanglement happens.

It shapes and morphs all of our thoughts.

And before you know it,

You are in depression and a dark place.

After we have recognized and acknowledged what is there for us,

We learn to accept it.

This is how it is.

We can still carry on.

We can still live on with this sadness.

And when we learn to do this,

The burden lessens.

It becomes a little lighter.

A little less insistent and noticeable.

To resist or fight these feelings,

Whatever they are,

Will just create a mental storm within.

It actually feeds the thoughts and allows them to multiply and snowball and smothers us with more harmful emotions.

So once again,

Let's look at our thoughts around menopause.

Close your eyes again if you wish.

And see if you can make a mental list of the facts around it.

What are the facts?

If you notice other thoughts and stories trying to attach to those facts,

Just spot them.

Congratulate yourself for noticing them.

Maybe you might like to choose one or more of those facts that you feel you could look into.

Do a little research around to see if there are ways to manage or change it.

And now let's choose to relax.

Be here right now.

With the facts.

With the emotions and thoughts.

With the sweats and all the symptoms you might be facing.

We can still choose to be here.

In this moment.

With all that stuff still there in the background.

But right now,

Right in this second.

Choose to be still.

To relax.

And to breathe.

Keeping your focus purely on the breath.

Imagine the inhale coming in through the crown of the head.

And the exhale down through your buttocks.

Grounding you.

Holding you.

Inhale through the crown.

And exhale through your seat.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Knowing that right in this second.

In this very moment.

The earth is holding you.

You are held.

And you are safe.

Everything is okay.

Safe.

And held.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Keep your attention on the breath as much as you can.

If your mind wanders it's okay.

Just bring it back to that one inhale.

Exhale.

If thoughts come.

Notice the facts.

Notice the stories.

And then bring your attention back to just watching this one breath.

Just this one breath.

This one inhale.

This one exhale.

Inhale.

And you can tune into the sound of your breath.

What does that sound remind you of?

The sea.

You can now notice any sounds outside of the room.

And inside the room.

And when you are ready,

Open your eyes.

Remember ladies,

We are more than the menopause.

This season in our lives makes up a small part of who we are.

I know it's tough.

It's fricking tough I know.

But it doesn't have to swallow us.

Consumers.

Dominators.

You can do something about the facts.

Take control.

Research.

Read.

Learn.

Speak.

Listen.

Hope.

You can do something about the stories too.

Watch them.

Be mindful of your thoughts and emotions.

Be aware of those undercurrents that will sweep you out to sea if you are not on guard.

And be accepting of the things we cannot change.

These are just what is.

Quit the struggle against it.

And find your peace alongside it.

You are not alone in this.

So don't lose hope.

Be watchful.

Be brave.

And be still.

Thank you.

Reviews

Thank you! Just what I needed to hear right now. Felt supported & gave me hope.

So validating. Thank you for sharing your experience

very supportive and healing. Anyone struggling with menopause should listen to this. Thank you 🙏🏻

Thank you kindly, for this medication... It's given me food for thought and will use my journal to find my answers. It's just nice to know I'm not alone on this journey 🕊️

Thank you Mandy, this is so comforting and food for thought and reflection.

Thank you Mandy, that was so helpful. 🙏💗🌺

Thank you! I’ve looked everywhere and finally found “others”! 😳 So glad I’m not crazy and alone!
Looking forward to future sessions. 🤗

Thank you for this beautiful and honest talk it will surely help me to look at menopause in a different light 🙏🏻

That was so wonderful and comforting. I am just beginning this journey, in perimnopause and have so many fears around it. But this brought me some peace. Thank you!

Thank you for the talk - it is very helpful to be reminded that this is a season and we have the power to overcome the symptoms.

Thank you so much for creating this thought provoking talk and meditation. It was insightful and helpful. Love and blessings 💜 x

I’m so glad I found this today. I feel in a really dark place & overwhelmed by menopause lately. This was a beautiful talk & reminder.

Very informative. Thank you for this perspective 🙏🏻