Meditation Of A Fearful Mind

A short personal example showing the mechanics of a mind and how it produces fear. Using connections and memories from the past, our mind loves to create 'evidence' for us, 'proof' of why we should feel scared.

Transcript

Today I went for a walk in my local woods with my dog Fudge.

Fudge is gorgeous.

He looks like a fox and I love him to bits.

I visit this forest regularly and often can walk for hours and not see another soul,

Which I love.

Fudge loves to have a roam around,

Sniffing everything and peeing everywhere.

As I was walking I heard a dog barking and suddenly became aware of the signs of fear in my body.

For me the signs are tightness in my chest,

A clenching in the stomach and a holding of the breath.

I wondered why.

My attention was drawn towards a sound of smaller dogs yelping then and I noticed the fear had increased and found myself second guessing my next move,

Wondering which way I should go.

I focused my attention on the sounds in my environment to try keep myself in the present moment and then noticed other sounds,

A helicopter,

Some crows,

An alarm.

I noticed that these sounds were reinforcing my fear.

The sound of the dog barking had created an image of a salivating German Shepherd guard dog,

Loose in the woods,

Ready to tear my poor little fudge apart.

The yelping dogs were small helpless dogs this nasty German Shepherd had attacked.

The helicopter represented war.

The crows recalled for me a scene from some horror film I watched as a teenager and the alarm equalled crime,

A robber,

A criminal,

Someone out to cause harm.

Wow!

My mind had cobbled together images and memories from the past,

Connected them to these sounds and gave me an absolute real life horror story in my mind and body,

All underneath my radar,

Unconscious,

Stuff I had no awareness of.

So now,

Because my mind had made these connections of these sounds to war and danger,

My nervous system was on high alert and my survival instinct was to get away from the sounds,

To protect fudge from the salivating German Shepherd who will tear him limb from limb and from the crows who might try to pick out my eyes.

So I headed higher up the hill,

Away from the sounds.

As I walked I continued to bring more awareness to what was going on within and I was able to see what my mind had done,

What it had created inside me.

Although my friend the amygdala was trying to be helpful,

Seeking to offer me protection,

Warning me about these pending potential dangers,

I knew that for me just to take these warning signals as fact could be detrimental to my well-being.

And so from this space that I created,

From this place of awareness,

I was able to ask,

What's real right now Mandy?

What is your reality in this moment?

Is it probable that there is a war starting in your area?

Is it likely that a crow is going to come down and peck your eyes out?

This space allowed my rational brain to get involved which told me,

No,

Neither of those things were likely.

And so then I was able to accept the actual reality which was that I was just walking in the woods with Fudge and there were some noises around and Fudge and me,

We were safe.

That was my reality.

This is what was really real.

And because I could see the mechanical workings of my mind,

The fear started to subside because I could remind myself of these actual real life facts.

You are okay Mandy.

There's nothing to fear in this moment.

And as I turned the next corner and realised I had not walked away from the sounds as I had thought I was doing but had actually walked around in a circle towards a pack of snarling ferocious dogs.

And when I bumped into the savage herd,

I once again realised the power of the mind.

As Fudge launched himself into the pack of bloodthirsty hounds which actually consisted of a fluffy little poodle,

A well-groomed cockapoo and a geriatric labrador,

I smiled to myself and my hyper-vigilant,

Ever-helpful mind as Fudge and the other friendly slobbery dogs had a doggy group hug or for them at least,

A lovely bum sniff.

I was reminded at how often my fear has gone unnoticed in my body,

In my life,

There as an undercurrent,

Undetected,

Unseen,

Unknown,

Creating an environment that is unhelpful and unnecessary.

Rather than allowing this to be our background screen,

The foundation we live our lives from,

Could we allow ourselves a little space,

A noticing of the signs our bodies provide us but then of the stories,

Connections,

Images that our mind has offered us as evidence that this thing,

This sound,

This person,

This event means danger.

Space to question that evidence,

Investigate this proof that I need to be on high alert,

Examine the goods that your mind has offered you as a signal to get ready for action.

Ask,

Is this real?

Is it likely?

How likely?

Where is this fear really coming from?

Is it valid?

Is it substantiated?

Maybe it is,

But then again,

Maybe it isn't.

Thank you.

Reviews

Thank you for this dose of wisdom. Sometimes, knowing something is not the same as hearing someone analyze it, and your talk will help my as I continue building a life of mindfulness. Thank you!

This is so helpful to help me look at unsubstantiated fear with this wonderful story and lovely accent this morning. Grateful for you showing up today!

Thanks For bringing me back to myself and my present

Thank you Mandy . This was so weld told and I could visualise your woods and what you were experiencing vividly . This is such a great reminder of the stories our minds weave or “ cobble together “ as I think you said .
Good wishes to you 🙏

Another brilliant lesson. I’m the same with unseen barking dogs and I have to work hard to be rational! Thank you for your story and helpful insights. 🙏🏽

Thank you very much. I really appreciated this highly relatable, insightful and soothing piece. As a Sheffield girl it’s lovely to hear your voice on here!

Thanks Mandy, feelings are not always factual, though my mind tells me so…. Run ! 🐌

You have such a talent. Your words resonate with me and also make me smile. Bless your heart.

I really loved how insightful this was. I find it fascinating that it’s so easy for my mind to be caught up in a story and run with it, even though there is no evidence to back it up. I love that you were able to catch yourself in the moment and ask yourself what was true. Thank you for this short but powerful reminder that we can make space for our rational brain to get back on board again.

I really appreciate this track. It’s so relatable and such a great reminder how the mind can create worlds that seem so menacing and real but are not. I love that you talked about how you went through the process to bring yourself to presence. It’s so helpful to have this modelled as an example 🙏🏾

Right on track for me! The images my mind creates without my permission is astounding sometimes! Checking in with the truth is essential! Thank you for this beautiful awareness❣️

Superb 🌟 Thank you very much for sharing this, Mandy.