A Transpersonal Experience Of Acceptance.

Whatever you resist persists. What does this actually mean? How do we not resist the 'difficult' bits? The hard bits? Is that possible? Does that mean we have to just put up with anything and everything? Does that mean we have to accept stuff that is harmful to us? Join me in this talk and guided transpersonal experience of Acceptance.

Transcript

I'm sure you have all heard the phrase whatever you resist persists.

It does the rounds in the meditation and mindfulness circles.

But what the heck does it actually mean?

If I resist a big fat chocolate eclair bun,

Does that persist?

If I resist another glass of red,

Does that persist?

If I resist doing the pile of washing up that's in my sink right now,

Does that persist?

Well,

Yeah,

Kind of.

The more I resist that eclair or that glass of wine,

The more they appeal to me,

Draw me in towards them.

The harder I try not to think about them,

The more I think about them.

The more I resist doing anything about those dirty dishes,

The more the thought about them persists.

A nagging image of them like a visual alarm bell.

And so alongside some very creative reasons why I really shouldn't do them right now,

Excuses and justifications why I haven't done them already,

Some excellent procrastination all takes place.

But what about the more serious stuff?

What about our fears?

What about the stuff that keeps us awake at night,

That causes our breaths to quicken and shallow?

The stuff that speeds up our hearts and causes our chests and our jaws to tighten?

What about that stuff?

Because what we do about that stuff,

With that stuff,

Really matters.

If you resist that stuff,

Well,

It just persists.

What techniques have you tried to deal with your fears?

Your dread?

Your terror?

Prayer?

Meditation?

Therapy?

Medication?

Did they work?

Maybe,

For a bit,

For a moment or two,

Or more if you are lucky.

But why do they return?

Why do I feel this again?

So we try things to make us happy.

We go for a run,

Or book a holiday,

Or go shopping,

Or play on a game,

Or meet friends.

We drink,

We eat,

We be merry,

And we feel better.

Hooray!

For a moment or two,

Or more if you are lucky.

But then they return.

Fear wakes me up in the middle of the night.

Terror takes the reins of my breathing,

And dread tightens my chest.

Again.

Why?

Because I resisted.

What was there?

We have a choice in our experience.

We resist,

Or we accept.

I'm saying that and it sounds so easy,

When in actual fact it's not.

It's ridiculously difficult with some things.

For example,

I find it easy to accept that there is a bit of noise outside my window right now,

Whilst I'm trying to write this message.

I find it less easy to accept ageing,

Hitting the 50s,

Watching my middle spread and my tummy wobble more than is considered acceptable in society,

And achieving a couple of extra wrinkles in chins just as an added extra bonus.

I have to work a bit harder to find acceptance for this.

But I don't find it easy at all to accept my old pal terror,

My sidekicks fear and dread.

This takes a lot more work.

A lot more effort.

Our mind has its set viewpoints.

Things should be like this,

This,

And this.

And if it's like that,

That,

And that,

Well no,

That's not right,

That's bad,

And I cannot accept that.

Resistance.

But what happens if I don't accept my extra chin?

Does it make it go away?

No.

It just means my focus is on it.

Every time I look in the mirror,

My eyes are drawn to it.

I think everyone is looking at it.

Judging it.

Thinking bad about me.

I have fear of growing yet another.

And even hairs on it.

The chin persists.

But does acceptance mean giving up?

Giving in.

Submission.

Not doing anything about anything.

Apathy.

Acquiescence.

No.

It means accepting that it,

Whatever it is,

Is here right now.

And not judging it.

Not saying,

This is not right.

This should not be here.

It should not be happening.

It should be another way.

Well,

It isn't.

The chin is here.

Acceptance is receiving.

Welcoming.

Whatever is in your experience in this moment is as it is.

It is here.

Acceptance doesn't mean that I can't work to change that reality in the next moment or the future.

It doesn't mean that I can't exercise to reduce the wobbles.

It doesn't mean that I can't drink more water and moisturise my face to soften my skin a little.

It doesn't mean that I can't pray,

Meditate,

Book a holiday,

Or eat,

Drink and be merry.

I can still do all those things if I want to.

But I'm not doing it out of resisting what is.

I'm not doing it to escape from that reality.

To avoid any pain that that reality might cause me.

I'm not doing it to pretend that reality hasn't created strong emotions within me,

Including resistance.

You see,

Acceptance,

Full acceptance,

Is inclusivity of it all.

Including the resistance.

A total paradox.

I'd like to guide you into a transpersonal experience of this.

A visualisation of acceptance,

If I may.

So I invite you to close your eyes if you would like to join me.

Firstly,

Become aware of whatever is in this moment for you.

What sounds can you hear?

Outside your room.

Inside your room.

Become aware of your breath.

The length of it.

The depth of it.

The sound of it.

Whereabouts in the body it is more noticeable for you.

The nostrils.

Chest.

Tummy.

What's there for you physically in this moment?

Do you have any tension anywhere in your body right now?

Do you have any signs of hunger?

Fullness?

Or digestion right now?

What's going on for you at your shoulders and your neck in this moment?

What about your jaws?

And your fingertips?

And your chest?

And your tummy?

Scanning around your body in this moment to see what is actually in your experience right now.

What about your thoughts?

What's going on there?

Watch your mind for a moment and see what you are thinking about.

Ask yourself this question.

Am I relaxed right now?

Notice what you are looking for to answer that question.

What are the signs you are looking for to see if you are relaxed?

Is it the things you have already been looking at?

Tightness in the body?

A shallowing of the breath?

A clenched jaw?

Just notice what you are looking for.

Where you are looking for the answers.

Am I relaxed right now?

Without analysing any of the answers,

Without needing to know why that part of your body isn't relaxed,

Without giving reasons for not being relaxed right now or vice versa.

Just notice it,

Without words if possible.

Noticing the question,

Am I relaxed right now?

Notice where the attention goes to to find the answer to that question.

Noticing the mind wanting to give you answers and reasons.

And just notice all these things.

Observe them all without trying to change any of it.

Am I relaxed right now?

And I want you to imagine now going on a walk.

This can be a walk that you have done and that you love or one that you would love to do.

What might you see on this walk?

What would be around you?

Buildings?

Trees?

A sea?

What colours might you see?

What different shades of those colours might you see?

What might the weather be like on your walk?

What sounds might you hear on this walk?

Insects?

Animals?

The wind?

Waves?

Sounds of people?

What smells might you smell on this walk?

The air?

Grass?

The salt from the sea?

What is the ground underneath your feet as you walk?

Is it soil?

Sand?

Grass?

Rock?

Watch your feet treading on this ground.

On this walk.

With these smells and sounds and sights.

And you now arrive at a gate.

What does your gate look like?

What material is it made out of?

Wood?

Metal?

Is it ornate?

Plain?

Is it painted?

How big is it?

And this gate is a gate to the field of love.

In this field is only love.

It is the only thing that exists here.

What does it feel like to be stood behind this gate knowing that when you enter this field you will be fully accepted and welcomed exactly as you are?

And as you open your gate and walk into the field you take a look around.

What is here in your field of love?

Are there animals?

Insects?

Trees?

Flowers?

Water?

What's in your field?

And now you have a picnic blanket.

In your hands.

What material is it?

What colour is it?

What's the design on it?

You place the blanket on the ground and you sit down.

You take a look around your field of love of all that is within it.

You take a few deep breaths in.

And breathe in pure love.

The whole atmosphere is infused with this love.

You are in this place where you are fully accepted exactly as you are.

You belong here.

You are accepted without needing to change anything about yourself.

Without needing to fix anything.

Heal anything.

Be anything different.

You are accepted and loved as you are.

What does that feel like to truly belong here?

Breathe in this atmosphere.

Allow each breath to be absorbed into your skin,

Your blood,

Your organs.

Infusing every cell of your body.

Breathing in this total acceptance.

Welcoming.

Belonging.

Love.

With each breath,

Inhale.

Receiving this.

Receiving this welcome.

Receiving this absolute unconditional love.

Breathing it in.

Bathing in it.

Being in it.

Become aware of the energy of that.

That accepting,

Welcoming,

Loving energy that you are sat in.

That you are breathing in.

Become aware of your own energy receiving that.

And now see your energy expanding to meet with that.

See your energy merging with that.

See your energy becoming that.

You are now the field of love.

You are the energy giving that acceptance and welcome and love to the one on the picnic blanket.

You are the field of love.

And move between the two.

The one on the picnic blanket.

Being in this environment of total belonging.

Breathing in the atmosphere of absolute unconditional love.

Receiving.

Receiving with every cell and molecule of your body.

And then merging with that.

Becoming that.

And now giving.

Offering.

That same love to the one on the picnic blanket.

Giving.

Receiving.

Giving.

Receiving.

What does it feel like to be in this environment?

To receive this absolute acceptance?

To fully belong exactly as you are?

What does it feel like to be this environment?

To give.

To offer this absolute acceptance.

To be this loving welcome to another.

Receiving.

Being.

Merging.

Becoming.

Giving.

Receiving.

Being.

Merging.

Becoming.

Giving.

And now as the one on the picnic blanket.

Taking in a final couple of breaths in this place.

This place where you belong exactly as you are.

Nothing to change about you.

You are received here.

You are welcomed here.

This is what acceptance looks like.

Taking a final look around your field of love.

Of what is in your field that you created.

And you stand and fold up your picnic blanket.

Looking at the colours and patterns once more.

And feeling the material.

You open your gate to leave.

Knowing that this is a place you can return to at any time you choose.

It's yours.

It's of your own creation.

You leave the field,

Close the gate and head back on your walk.

Back the way you started.

Looking around on your walk.

What can you see?

What can you smell?

What can you hear?

Looking again at the ground and your feet on that ground.

On that soil or sand or grass.

Receiving from the energy of the earth.

Receiving.

Unconditional love.

You don't have to be anything.

Do anything for the earth to give to you.

For her to accept you.

Unconditional love.

You are accepted.

You belong here.

Watching as you give back.

Through your feet.

Back to the earth.

Giving.

Giving thanks.

Gratitude.

Honour.

Giving.

Receiving.

With each step.

A symbiotic relationship.

Giving.

Receiving.

You arrive home now.

Entering through your door.

Sitting where you are sitting right now.

Feeling the contact of your body with the ground or the seat where you are right now in this very moment.

Becoming aware of anything in your body right now,

In this moment.

Becoming aware of any sounds that are present in this moment.

Outside your room.

Inside your room.

And just for now,

Just for these next few seconds,

Once again,

Become the field of love.

To whatever is there.

To all the sounds.

To anything within the body.

To any emotions that are present.

To any thoughts that have arose.

To anything you consider wonderful.

To anything that you consider not so good.

Become the field of love to everything that is present for you right now.

And only when you feel ready,

Feel free to open your eyes.

Acceptance.

The field of love.

Same same.

Try this.

Practice this.

Start small.

Maybe an annoying sound that you would prefer not to be there.

Become the field of love to that sound.

And then more difficult things.

Like emotions we would prefer not to be there.

Or even extra chins.

Thank you for listening.

Take care now.

Reviews

Thank you Mandy, that was amazing. I weeped gentle tears in my Field of Love and felt held (and in turn, the one holding). I realised I have become more accepting of the friends in my life and little by little this is spreading to accepting myself too.

Wow Mandy! The visualization was so powerful and words ring true. I am so grateful for you and access to your amazing meditations.

Beautiful awareness of how I can practice being with everything that arises without attachment.