Loving-Kindness For Your Inner Critic

In this meditation, we explore how our inner critics are our teachers, shadow parts of ourselves that need to be welcomed into the fold in order for us to deepen our creativity, bust through creative blocks, and increase our self-regard so that we can bring our best work into the world, and be of benefit to humanity. This is a gentle, joyful practice, intended for deep healing and creative flow. Breathe. Write. Repeat.

Transcript

Welcome to Mindfulness for Writers.

Today we'll be doing a 20-minute loving-kindness for our inner critic.

As this is a contemplation meditation,

We'll be closing our eyes.

So,

Whenever you find a comfortable seat,

Go ahead and let your eyelids flutter shut.

Take a moment just to luxuriate in giving yourself permission to be here for yourself,

For your writing,

For your readers.

Maybe you might want to put your hand on your heart and just whisper,

Thank you.

Thank you for showing up.

Let's really enter into the space with a nice inhale,

Inhaling in all the creative,

Delicious,

Life-giving energy of your breath,

Filling your body with that,

Feeding your imagination,

And then exhaling nice and loud anything that's not serving you right now.

Exhaling all of the worries,

The rejections,

The bad reviews,

The creative blocks,

Anything that's not serving you,

Just let it go.

Let it go.

Today we're going to be working with self-regard,

Respecting all the parts of ourselves and offering attention and love to each of them.

We're inviting your inner critic to the party.

We're not banishing them.

In fact,

You can't because your inner critic is a part of you and you can't banish yourself,

Much as you might try.

So today we're looking at how to skillfully work with this part of ourselves and in fact to see our inner critic as a teacher.

James Baldwin said,

It was Dostoevsky and Dickens who taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive or whoever had been alive.

Only if we face these open wounds in ourselves can we understand them in other people.

So your inner critic,

This open wound,

Is actually a portal into empathy,

Into understanding your readers,

Into touching on that universality that is so essential to great writing.

Your inner critic is a gift.

So to start this work,

I'd like you to first settle in.

If your mind is racing,

That's okay.

Make sure you're comfortable.

And as I ring the bell,

Follow that sound into this exploration,

Into self regard.

First,

We're going to offer loving kindness,

Deep self regard to our current selves as writers.

So I'd like you to picture yourself writing,

Maybe at your desk or a favorite coffee house.

If it feels painful to imagine yourself right now,

You can call to mind a picture of yourself as a child writing,

Writing stories late at night,

Writing in the margins of your school notebook,

Writing during recess.

Bring this image to mind and as you do,

You're going to be offering this self regard to yourself through these following phrases that you'll repeat with intention,

Deep intention,

A real wish,

A real prayer,

A real hope for your writer self.

May I be satisfied.

Yeah,

Satisfaction.

Nothing ubiquitous May I be happy but satisfied.

What is enough,

Right?

May I be satisfied.

May I be inspired.

May I be open.

Open to the messages you're receiving open to all the parts of yourself.

Even the gnarly parts.

Open to creative surprises.

Open to feedback.

Open to beginners mind.

Open to failing open.

So let's do that again.

May I be satisfied.

May I be inspired.

May I be open.

Go ahead and repeat those a couple times in silence.

And now I'd like you to let that image go.

Maybe put your hand on your heart and think your writer self for hanging out.

And I'd like you to call to mind an image of yourself when you were kind to yourself,

To your writer self,

A beloved friend to yourself.

Maybe it was the moment when you signed up for that workshop or the day that you weren't hard on yourself,

Even though the writing didn't go well,

A time when you bought a pretty notebook just to treat your writer self.

Bring that image of a moment to mind.

See if you can conjure that feeling of release you had when you did that kind of thing to yourself.

Look at this writer who's so nice to themselves.

Who doesn't fall into the stereotype of the surly,

Dissatisfied,

Self hating artist.

This artist who instead chose joy,

Curiosity.

Self compassion and regard.

And here we go.

May you be satisfied.

May you be inspired.

May you be open.

Let's do that a couple more times.

Seeing that moment of kindness to yourself.

May you be satisfied.

May you be inspired.

May you be open.

What does it feel like to open to that choice?

Toward self regard and kindness and curiosity,

Create a deliciousness.

Instead of being closed and tight and frustrated and angry.

How can you sink into that feeling a little bit deeper?

Open,

Open,

Open.

Satisfied by just this little thing,

This little act of kindness.

Letting it be a springboard for inspiration.

OK,

Now you're going to let that go.

Take a moment to think that part of yourself for that kindness.

I'd like you to call to mind an image of yourself as a teacher.

Of yourself.

Maybe it's reading a book and trying to understand how that author was able to get that plot so well.

Maybe it was a moment where you sat down to meditate because you know it will help with your flow and your focus.

Maybe it was a moment when you gave critique to another writer that was useful.

How have you been your own best teacher and maybe a teacher of other writers on this journey?

So call an image to mind.

Fix it there.

And here we go.

May you be satisfied.

May you be inspired.

May you be open.

May you be satisfied.

May you be inspired.

May you be open.

Anointing yourself as your best teacher.

You and your writing are your own best teachers.

You have deep wells of wisdom and insight and intuition.

Your imagination is your palate.

It's yours.

So how can you be your own best teacher?

Stepping into that authority,

That self-regard.

I know what I'm doing.

And if I don't think I know,

Some part of me does and we'll figure it out.

It's the part of you that learned to read and learn to write.

Open,

Open,

Open.

Let that image go.

Thinking it.

Thinking your teacher self.

And for just a moment we're going to actually step both into and outside of ourselves and call to mind.

With an image that feels right to you.

Of all the writers who are meditating with you right now.

And all the writers out there.

Who totally get the struggle.

Who are the inner critic.

Who totally understand what it's like to be on this journey.

This is your tribe.

These are your people.

Whether you've met them or not.

If you are a writer,

You're part of it.

So maybe you want an image of an old typewriter to represent all these writers.

Or your favorite room in a library that you love.

Or a place that you gather with other writers.

Or ink on your fingers.

Choose an image.

Just whatever first comes to mind.

Nothing's right or wrong.

Just is.

Hold the image.

And now to all your fellow writers,

Including yourself in that group.

May we be satisfied.

Yeah.

It's about the journey.

It's about the process.

That has to be enough.

May we be satisfied.

May we be inspired.

May we be open.

All this creativity and inspiration.

Rising,

Rising,

Rising our collective energy.

Sharing ideas,

Even if we don't realize we're doing it.

Giving each other comfort just by knowing we're out there.

We're not alone.

May we be satisfied.

May we be inspired.

May we be open.

And now with the bolstering of your fellow writers.

You can keep them there beside you if you wish.

As we move into working with our inner critic.

We all have one.

Your inner critic is the part of you.

That's scared for you.

It's not your enemy.

It's acting out because it wants you to be satisfied and inspired and open.

And it's so afraid that you're going to get hurt by rejection.

Of yourself,

By others.

All the ways that.

You don't help yourself.

The bad habits that you sponsor.

The unhelpful thoughts that you sponsor.

Your inner critic is trying to protect you with tough love or even cruelty.

Because it doesn't feel seen.

Because it doesn't feel welcome.

It doesn't feel like it's part of the process.

So right now,

Invite your inner critic.

Maybe your inner critic has a persona.

Maybe there's an image in your mind that your inner critic manifests as a schoolmarm who looks her nose down at you or your mother or a teacher who is unkind to you or your inner critic somehow looks like Mark Twain.

You don't know why.

Whatever your inner critic looks like,

And it could even be an image of yourself or something amorphous or red slashes on a paper,

Whatever it is,

Call that to mind.

And before you do anything else,

Say this one word.

Welcome.

And now say,

I see you.

Just as every villain has a soft spot and a story and a reason for what they do.

So does your inner critic.

They are the open wound in ourselves that allow us to understand other people.

They are our empathy teachers.

Wow.

They're what allow us to connect to other people,

To write these stories.

When we say,

I see you welcome to our inner critic,

We're saying that to our characters,

To our readers,

To the world,

I see you.

I see the dark parts.

Welcome.

If it feels right,

You can put your hand on your heart,

Both hands if you want.

Just sit for a moment with that part of yourself that has been so hard to accept.

Feel into that.

What does it feel like to welcome this part of yourself?

It's not your enemy.

Or maybe your enemy is your friend.

And therefore no longer your enemy.

And when you're ready,

Speaking to this part of yourself that has felt so ignored.

May you be satisfied.

Hey inner critic,

You are enough.

I am enough.

May you be satisfied.

I showed up.

That's all I have to do is show up.

May you be satisfied with that.

May you be inspired.

We are the heroes of our own story.

When we break through those limiting beliefs that tell us we aren't enough,

That we'll never make it,

That we need permission to create,

That we need regard of others in order to regard ourselves.

No,

No,

No.

We are enough.

And when we show up,

When we dispel those beliefs,

We say,

May we be inspired by that.

May we be open,

Open to failure,

Open to mistakes,

Open to weird ideas,

Open to crazy ideas,

Open to choosing ourselves,

Open to being disciplined,

Open to saying yes,

Open to saying no when we need to,

Open,

Open,

Open.

May we be open.

Hey inner critic,

May you be satisfied.

It's OK.

We are enough.

May you be inspired.

Inspired by me showing up,

Inspired by me saying yes to writing,

Inspired by me with my pen as my sword facing down the dragons of my misbeliefs.

May you be open to this journey with me.

To the twists and the turns,

The highs and the lows,

The ebbs and the flows.

May you be open.

I'm the captain of this ship,

But you are welcome to be on my crew.

Yeah.

That's a plot twist for you.

Last time on your own.

And be satisfied,

May be inspired,

May be open or may we or may you,

However you want to say it.

Yoga Ono said,

What is the most important thing to love yourself and the world in that order?

May you love yourself and may that love extend to everyone around you and my kitty who is crying out for you to be satisfied.

To be inspired and to be open,

Breathe,

Write and repeat.

Reviews

So lovely as always. Nourishing: satisfying, inspiring, and opening!🙏💞

I didn’t know this was for writers. But I think it was powerful and nurturing esp for my inner critic. Thank you.

Very helpful perspective shift. Appreciate the specificity of this for writers. So grateful.

Inspiring and uplifting. The description should mention the target audience is writers.

Brilliant idea for a guided meditation and very inspirational. Since noticing that you posted this earlier this week, I had been saving it up until the day I started the revision process on an important story I’m having mixed thoughts about. That day was today! I’m thrilled to start this day of revision by welcoming my inner critic. Thanks as always, Heather! Take care.

This really opened my eyes to the purpose of my inner critic and helped me to make peace with it. I feel at much more peace about this than I have in a long time. Thank you so much for sharing this!