The Elusive Breath

This story shares Trung Nguyen's personal journey of discovering the power of the natural breath through meditation. Starting with the realization of its elusive nature during a sleep-focused Yoga Nidra session, the author dives into the struggles and breakthroughs of a 10-day Vipassana retreat. Through challenges with frustration and control, they learn to let go, ultimately finding profound gratitude for the body's natural processes. The story reveals how mindfulness and observation of the breath can transform it from an overlooked necessity into a grounding and life-affirming practice. Perfect for anyone curious about deepening their meditation or finding peace in simplicity.

Transcript

The Elusive Breath The word elusive first hit me during a guided meditation called Yoga Nidra for Sleep by Jennifer Pierce on Inside Timer.

At the time I was on a mission to improve my quality of sleep,

A routine part of life,

As common as brushing your teeth,

Yet so underrated in its impact on health.

Jennifer described sleep as elusive and for the first time I realized how fitting that word was,

Not just for sleep but something even more fundamental,

The breath.

Fast forward to my first 10 day Vipassana retreat where I was taught to observe my natural breath.

You'd think it's easy enough right?

Nope.

Turns out the breath is extremely slippery.

It's like trying to catch a feather in a breeze.

It's always there,

But the more I tried to pin it down,

The more unnatural the breath became.

Every inhale,

Exhale felt forced.

The harder I tried,

The more my frustration grew.

It's just not something I was capable of doing.

Combine that with the physical discomfort of sitting for hours on end and my sanity was hanging on by a thread.

I felt utterly defeated.

After 20 plus hours of wrestling with my breath,

I realized that at this rate,

If I didn't get help soon,

I would end up quitting,

So I scheduled to meet with my teacher.

During the interview,

I hesitantly asked,

Am I supposed to observe the natural breath?

It felt so ridiculous asking that question,

Given that the clear instructions were repeated every single hour stating so.

The teacher looked at me and gently nodded with a yes.

I immediately thanked him and went back to my room with a sense of calm like suddenly I knew what to do now.

That yes wasn't a big or dramatic moment,

Just a quiet affirmation to allow me to know that the natural breath is a possibility.

The next few hours of meditation,

I started to relax more and stop trying to control my breath.

I just let it happen.

And slowly,

I started to witness my body breathing on its own without my interference.

It was humbling,

Even mind blowing.

The frustration melted away and a deep sense of gratitude flowed over me.

This body of mine has been keeping me alive all this time without asking for anything in return.

From that moment,

The natural breath became more than just an automatic process.

It became my best friend,

My anchor in the practice of mindfulness.

It's always there for me,

A quiet and steady presence.

Reminding me that sometimes the most profound things in life don't need to be controlled or chased.

They simply need to be noticed and observed.

So here's a thought.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Be grateful for the body and the breath.