Loving Kindness Meditation While Hurting
by Sneha Jhanb
This is a 20-minute self-compassion guided meditation that helps us give loving-kindness to ourselves in our time of hurt or feelings of not-enoughness or inadequacy. Find a quiet space and dive in peace.
Transcript
This guided meditation is a variance on the classic loving-kindness practice but tailored specifically to cultivate self-compassion.
So first let's make sure you are sitting in a comfortable position on a cushion or a chair something very comfortable where you can sit upright and yet relaxed.
Settle into your posture.
Notice how your body feels the sensation of your feet touching the floor,
Your bottom touching the cushion or the floor,
Weight of your arms and your head.
Be in your body right here right now fully inhabiting your lived experience.
Now allow your attention to move outwards to the sounds that you hear.
What sounds are arising right now?
Are these noises outside your window?
Do you hear a fan blowing,
Leaves rustling,
Birds chirping,
Dog barking?
What sounds do you hear?
Try not to reach out to the sounds but let the sounds just arrive.
The sound waves entering your mind and body.
Now focus on your breathing.
The sense of inhaling and exhaling whether you feel the breath move strongly at your nostrils or perhaps you see your chest rising and falling.
Let's take a few moments just to rest with our breath simple and easy.
Notice the peacefulness of being quiet,
Of resting as you gently breathe.
Now I would like you to bring to mind some aspect of your personality or perhaps some mistake you made,
A failure that has been bothering you lately.
Something that perhaps you have been criticizing yourself for or that has made you feel inadequate in some way.
Whatever the straight or action,
Try to get in touch with it.
What does it make you feel?
Does it make you feel sad,
Frightened,
Isolated,
Inadequate,
Angry,
Irritable?
How have you felt when you have thought about this inadequacy?
See if you can locate the sensations of emotions in your body.
Perhaps it's a tightness in your throat,
A heaviness in your heart,
Tension in your shoulder,
Some feelings in your stomach.
What emotions do you feel when you think about this mistake or inadequacy and where do you see these emotions felt in your body?
Allow yourself to just notice.
Just allow them to be there instead of resisting feeling.
These natural feelings that arise when we judge ourselves,
Just notice them.
What am I feeling?
Where are the emotions in my body?
Get in touch with how much suffering is caused by our self-judgment,
Our fears of not being good enough.
Some of our greatest suffering is caused at our own hands by the belief that somehow we should be perfect.
Take your hands or both hands if you prefer and place it gently over your heart in a calm,
Soft and soothing manner.
You might even want to rub a little soothing,
Reassuring circle.
See if you can sense your heart right now.
See if you can let your heart be moved by how difficult your emotional experience is when you think about this thing that makes you feel bad about yourself.
And so what we will do now is repeat some phrases,
Loving kindness phrases designed to help you feel the compassion for the fact that you are an imperfect being.
You try your best but no one,
No one on this planet is perfect.
We are all inadequate in some way or the other.
We all make mistakes.
We all fail.
This is the human experience.
It is okay.
So repeat the phrases silently.
I will say a few set of phrases aloud and you can repeat them silently.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful.
May I be kind to myself.
May I accept myself as I am.
Feeling the warmth of your hand on your heart.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful.
May I be kind to myself.
May I accept myself as I am.
Repeat these phrases silently.
May I be safe.
Really trying to get in touch with the intention behind the words.
May I be peaceful.
The intention to offer yourself kindness,
Compassion,
Acceptance.
May I be kind to myself.
May I accept myself as I am.
As your mind wanders,
Which it will inevitably do.
Just refresh the phrases in your mind.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful.
May I be kind to myself.
May I accept myself as I am.
Giving yourself the same kindness and support and acceptance that you would give to a good friend who was feeling bad about themselves.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful.
May I be kind to myself.
May I accept myself as I am.
Remembering that everyone is in the same boat.
Everyone feels inadequate in some way.
Everyone makes mistakes.
Everyone feels this is the human condition.
This is normal.
This is something we all share.
It is okay.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful.
May I be kind to myself.
May I accept myself as I am.
And now remembering all your fellow humans who struggle with self-judgment the way you do.
Let's change the phrases slightly so we include everyone in our intention of self-compassion.
May we all feel safe.
May we all be peaceful.
May we be kind to ourselves.
May we accept ourselves as we are.
Gently repeat the phrases silently.
May we be safe.
May we be peaceful.
May we be kind to ourselves.
May we accept ourselves as we are.
Just gently repeat the phrases.
Now I would like you to think of something that's been causing you suffering that you don't necessarily blame yourself for.
Maybe you have a loved one who is sick or something is going wrong in your life just due to external circumstances.
Something that is very hard to bear,
Hard to deal with.
And also give yourself compassion for the source of suffering.
Our suffering comes from two main sources.
From ourselves not being as we want and from our lives not being as we want.
Think of this aspect of your life that's causing you pain and repeat the following phrases.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful.
May I be kind to myself.
May I accept my life as it is.
This is the way things are.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful.
May I be kind to myself.
May I accept my life as it is.
Repeat the phrases silently to yourself soothing and comforting yourself with the difficulties of living the human life.
Really feel your caring,
Concern,
Tenderness for yourself struggling like so many others.
May I be safe.
May I be peaceful.
May I be kind to myself.
May I accept my life as it is.
Again put your hand on your heart or if it has been there the whole time.
Really feel your hand on your heart and while we have been focusing on comforting ourselves for painful feelings for suffering now see if you can feel what the compassionate self feels like.
Maybe your heart is tingling or feels warm,
Feels vibrant in some way.
Notice the good qualities of an open heart that's filled with compassion,
The beautiful feelings of tenderness,
Care,
Concern,
Kindness.
Notice the joy of compassion,
Of connectedness,
Of open-heartedness.
This is also part of our human experience.
Thank yourself for being a good supportive friend.
May we all be well and safe,
Happy and free.
Bring your attention back to your breath.
Take a deep breath in and let go.
If your hands are on your heart take them down on the lap again.
Wriggle your toes and fingers.
Slowly and gently you may open your eyes.
4.6 (15)
Recent Reviews
Arwen
July 17, 2022
Beautiful
Beth
July 20, 2021
Such a tender meditation! I need to be regularly reminded that my struggles are part of the shared human condition. This meditation provides a compassionate reminder.