The Product Is Not The Path

So many times in our emotional and spiritual journey it would seem that we confuse the product with the path. We see someone who is far along the path as ‘calm’ and ‘relaxed’ and assume that this is the path or indeed the goal of the path. But this is a mistake I believe. Relaxation and calm are not the path, but products of the path. Pleasant by-products that come from it yes, but not the intention of the journey itself.

Transcript

So many times in our emotional and spiritual journey,

It would seem that we confuse the product with the path.

We see someone who is far along the path,

As calm and relaxed,

And assume that this is the path,

Or indeed the goal of the path.

But this is a mistake,

I believe.

Relaxation and calm are not the path,

But products of the path,

Pleasant byproducts that come from it,

But not the intention of the journey itself.

The same can be said of many things,

Like seeking validation.

So often we feel like we are not allowed to seek validation or want someone to congratulate us,

To tell us we're doing a good job,

Because we are told along the way that this is prideful,

That this is narcissistic,

That this is conceited.

But this is human.

And those who we consider far along the path don't strive to resist validation,

Instead they seek connection.

They have learned that validation from others is a reminder for validation from within,

For only we can truly validate ourselves,

Love ourselves,

And appreciate ourselves to the fullest extent from within,

Touching that which is within all of us and which binds all of us,

And therefore transcends any one of us.

As long as we are human,

We will need others,

And getting the reminders of love and validation from each other is a perfectly good placeholder where we seek and learn how to give these gifts to ourselves.

It's perfectly okay to ask for directions as many times as we need until we can remember the way on our own.

It's perfectly okay to use a crutch or lean on someone else till we can walk again on our own two feet.

As long as we are remembering to continue learning to be whole again ourselves so that one day we may return the gesture.

The same is true of love.

Perhaps we seek from those we love the qualities we deeply long to touch in ourselves,

To fill the holes inside us.

Once again,

This is okay.

As long as we are learning from each other how to fill the holes ourselves so that we can become two full people,

Both separate and united,

A relationship that is far greater than the sum of its parts.

The path that will lead us to where the wise ones are is the path of unconditional acceptance for who we are right now,

Someone who is deeply flawed and scarred,

And who longs to do and be better.

Reviews

Amazing , this made me feel better about wanting deep connections. And cleared up some misconceptions. And I realize how my close ones do help me love myself more. thank you so much🙏🏻

Thank you

Thank you for this reminder.