Okay,
Here we are.
After what is possibly for you,
As it has been for me,
Another long week.
That's how it feels.
And I want you to begin by just becoming aware of whatever is already happening in your experience.
How your body is feeling,
Any feelings or emotions going on,
Thoughts,
Planning,
Remembering.
Just notice it's already there.
And feel free to do this as gently as you would approach hearing.
You needn't prick your ears or cup them with your hands to hear the sounds that are already present.
Allow yourself to listen.
Listen to your body.
Listen to your mind.
Listen to your heart.
Just get a sense of where you are at right now without trying to change it.
If there are compulsions in you,
Already trying to change your experience,
That's okay too.
Simply notice that.
Just be aware of whatever is happening.
There is no experience that you are not meant to be having.
It may be painful and unpleasant,
Or it may be blissful and pleasant.
Doesn't matter.
What's arising is quite largely and truly beyond your control.
It's happening because of the circumstances you're in,
The conditions that have brought you here.
You didn't choose how you were raised.
You didn't choose a global pandemic.
You don't choose the thoughts that arise in your mind.
They simply are.
What we can do is come into relationship to those thoughts,
To those feelings,
To those sensations.
Whatever is happening,
It's perfectly okay.
However you feel about what's happening,
That's perfectly okay.
You cannot do this wrong.
You cannot fail.
And now if you care to,
Feel free to bring your attention,
As it were,
To your body.
Maybe it's your hands,
Or your guts,
Or your chest,
Your heart,
Your throat,
Your face,
Maybe all of them,
Or just some of them.
And see if you can notice how the body responds to the mind and to the heart,
And how the heart and mind respond to the body,
How they affect each other,
When a narrative forms in your mind or a stream of thought,
What effect does it have on your body?
When the body has a twinge or a pulse or a shudder,
What happens with the mind?
Allow yourself to tune into both,
To all,
And see how they affect each other.
What is their relationship?
Is there a disconnection?
Do you struggle to even tune into one or all of these aspects?
Are you struggling with the instruction itself?
Struggling with anything?
It's okay.
It's not your fault,
And you're doing nothing wrong.
At all times you can simply allow yourself to have the experience you're already having,
To hold every part of you in compassion and acceptance,
Unconditional acceptance,
Allowing yourself to struggle and succeed wherever you do,
Allowing yourself to think whatever you think,
Feel whatever you feel,
And allowing everything to pass in its own time.
So remembering that we can always come back to the body,
Feelings of the body,
Feeling of the breath coming in and out of our body as it moves our stomach and our chest.
I want you to attempt to tune into whatever you're feeling and thinking and let it go.
And by let it go,
I mean just like the pencil,
If it falls,
It falls.
If it sticks,
It sticks.
Just like you were standing at the front door of your house at a party,
Allowing the guests to come and go,
Always holding the door open,
Letting go of the urge to trap some guests in and keep them,
Talk their ear off,
And letting go of the urge to bar the unpleasant guests out or try and throw them out.
See if you can let yourself be a gracious host,
No matter how pleasant or unpleasant these guests are.
Just let them come,
Let them be,
And let them go in their own time,
In their own manner.
You don't need to deny the fact that you find them unpleasant.
That's fine.
There's nothing else you should be doing.
Maybe some guests trigger feelings of anger,
Frustration.
Maybe you get angry or frustrated with yourself for feeling anger or frustration or sadness or grief or longing,
And that's no problem either.
You can simply allow that.
There is nothing that needs to be excluded from your unconditional acceptance of your experience.
And then I will continue to guide you,
Remembering that there's very little to do right now.
You're sitting,
You're being,
And that is the practice.
Simply sitting with experience and allowing yourself to have it.
Let's continue on.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And if your mind has drifted,
That's okay.
That is what the mind does.
It was never meant to not drift.
Are you aware that it's drifted?
Are you aware that it's drifting?
Can you allow that?
Can you simply stand or walk beside your experience without judgment?
And if judgment occurs,
Can you allow yourself to not judge that?
Can you allow yourself to be perfectly imperfect,
To be human?
Allow ourselves to have our human mind,
Our human feelings.
Allow ourselves to stop trying to be something other than what we are.
Let go.
Let go.
Let go of the need to do more,
To be more.
Let go of the thought that says,
Not enough.
Not enough what?
Whatever it is to you.
Whatever we have,
Whatever we are,
That's enough.
We are enough.
This experience is enough.
Let go.
Allow yourself to be sad,
Angry,
Happy,
Peaceful,
Confused,
Scattered,
Panicked.
Simply be a good friend.
Place your hand on that experience.
And listen.
Nothing more.
No need to fix.
You're not broken.
Let it go.
Let it go.
Allowing ourselves to have our experience.
If there's resistance to be allowing ourselves to have our experience,
Then we allow that.
We allow the resistance.
There's no part of you that can't be held in this unconditional presence.
This intuitive,
Loving,
Compassionate knowing that you are not and never have been broken.
You don't suffer because you're broken.
You suffer because you're human.
Now the last moments,
Last few minutes of our practice,
I invite you to place a loving touch somewhere on your body.
Whatever that means to you.
Maybe a hand on your heart or your belly or both.
Maybe a rubbing,
Caressing.
You might want to hold yourself,
Squeeze yourself,
Massage yourself.
Whatever your body wants,
Maybe nothing.
That's okay too.
But the invitation is there to give yourself some loving kindness,
Some supportive touch.
Like a dear,
Dear friend would give you.
Whether your experience is pleasant or unpleasant,
A friend will be there with you,
Hold you,
Touch you.
Share in your joy,
Be there in your sorrow.
And just be there in that emptiness.
And just be there in that emptiness.
