Judgement only ever leads to more judgment.
Whether it's externally,
By one person judging another,
Or internally,
By a person judging themselves,
A person who is being judged by another will inevitably either judge back in return,
Or internalize the judgment,
Thereby judging themselves.
A process that leads once more,
To them judging others.
If the judgment is internal,
And starts from within ourselves,
The process is the same.
We treat some part of ourselves as other,
And then judge it,
Only to have the entire episode repeat itself endlessly.
We often find ourselves caught in a delusion,
The delusion that we can directly fight fire with fire,
That hatred can somehow banish hatred,
That tolerance can only be achieved through selective intolerance.
But we can only too readily experience for ourselves,
The truth behind this flawed philosophy.
Hatred only breeds more hatred.
Ask yourself if there was really ever a time when someone else's judgment of you actually led to your wellbeing and existential happiness.
Not your productivity,
Not your work ethic,
Not your sense of duty and obligation,
But your wellbeing.
I hazard to think it's likely,
If even possible.
Perhaps there was a time when someone's hard but helpful truth managed to penetrate the mass of judgment it was couched within,
And led you to make change for the better.
But I would argue that it was not because of the judgment at all,
But in spite of it.
To be disagreeable is not necessarily to be judgmental.
To even find something unpleasant or pleasant is not to be judgmental.
Judgment comes from the value-based compulsions,
Biases and narratives that often form from these initial sensory flavors.
I may find someone's odor unpleasant without judging them or the odor itself as bad.
I can find a sensation pleasing without leading to the judgment that it is therefore good.
I may find pleasure in the taste of sweet chili flavored crisps,
But I am wary of making the assumption that they are therefore objectively good.
This isn't even to say that judgment itself is bad,
For we can be only too quick to decide that indeed judgment is now the enemy,
Which as we've seen will only lead to more judgment of ourselves and others.
What we can say though is that judgment is one aspect of human experience,
But it neither needs to be a dominant aspect of our minds nor mean what we usually think it means,
That is,
That whatever we are habitually judging needs to be eliminated or identified with.
To make our way out of the labyrinth of judgment,
We need to open up to the common humanity in all of us.
We need to learn to let go back into our capacity for diversity of experience.
We need to recognize the judgment for what it is and allow it to exist in a wider context of tolerance,
Acceptance and inclusivity.
The only antidotes are compassion,
Empathy,
Tolerance and acceptance.
These perspectives do not exclude whatever they are compassionate,
Empathetic,
Tolerant or accepting towards,
They embrace them.
In other words,
As has been said before,
The only way to truly love is to love unconditionally.
Therefore we must learn to develop unconditional love and presence with our own experiences,
Thoughts and emotions so that we may extend that same capacity to those we currently see as other and bad.
If we continue to habitually judge ourselves and others with no attempt to understand,
How can we expect anything but more hatred and suffering in our lives?
The path may be simple,
But not easy.
Nonetheless,
We must start with where we are and what's already here.
We must begin by learning to love and calm the judging mind.
Only by doing this can we truly find freedom from the prison of judgment.
