Oops! The Art Of Making Great Mistakes

Oops! The Art of Making Great Mistakes with Josh Reeves, part 1 of the Two-Week Sunday Series: How To Be a Successful Screwup. It’s one thing to accept that we all make mistakes, but what makes a successful screwup is moving past the ego’s judgment straight to the humility of heart. Learning to make great mistakes is essential to making your life a beautiful work of art. This talk includes a spiritual practice at the end with beautiful piano music by Rob Lowe.

Transcript

So it's great to be here with you and I'm excited because I finally feel I have material that I know something about today with our two-week series,

How to Be a Successful Screw-Up.

And today's title is,

Oops!

The Art of Making Great Mistakes.

And you know,

It's been a pandemic year and a lot of us have been closer to home,

But nonetheless,

Many of us have still found a way to screw up here or there,

Sometimes more successfully than others.

In the category of successful screw-up,

I must put beautiful eight-year-old girl,

Sophia Rollins from Elk Grove,

California.

Like so many of our children,

Engaged in online learning and perhaps not enjoying it very much,

As her story says.

And she shared with her mom she couldn't get into class on Zoom.

And so her parents looked into it,

They talked to the school,

They couldn't figure it out,

They even talked to Zoom technical support and they couldn't figure it out.

And it only got figured out three weeks later when someone overheard young Sophia explaining that if you put your password in wrong 20 times,

They'll block you out.

So you don't have to go to school.

So screw up,

Yes,

But the sign of future brilliance?

Absolutely.

On the less successful category,

A young man in the small town in Arizona called Coolidge did something that I'm going to guess some of us have thought about.

Initially they thought he had been kidnapped and the community was very worried,

But then it was discovered that he had faked his own kidnapping in order to not have to go to work.

A police department official said he informed us that he had first stuffed a bandana in his mouth.

Afterwards he took off his own belt and bound his hands with his own belt.

He laid on the ground and scooted out on the side of the road so somebody could see him and waited.

You have to admit you thought about it,

Right?

No?

So there's screw ups that can happen all the time and I love something that the great Mel Brooks once said as the 2000 year old man.

He said,

As long as the world is turning and spinning,

We're going to be dizzy and we're going to make mistakes.

So I am here to proclaim that I am an incredible mistake maker.

Do you want to say that with me?

I am an incredible mistake maker.

I am a master screwer-upper.

Very good.

I have at one point fit my head through the stair banisters and got it stuck there.

Dad had to get Crisco to get me out.

I've once shown up to work here at Mile High with two different kinds of shoes on.

I have gotten into a car and been bewildered for 10 minutes on why I couldn't get the key to fit,

Only to discover it wasn't my car.

Those are some of the silly screw ups,

But there are more serious screw ups,

Of course.

And for me,

The greatest mistakes in my life have been mistakes of inaction.

Opportunities to say I love you to people who are no longer with me that I missed.

Times where in my ministry I put my to-do list in front of the person in front of me.

Times where I tried to be right as opposed to just listen and be humble.

These are difficult mistakes to make,

And they keep getting made when we don't acknowledge them.

And so I'm here to share with us today,

Don't deny your mistakes.

Don't be afraid of your mistakes.

But embrace your mistakes and recognize that they can be an important part of the creative process.

I remember my son,

This is several years ago now,

He was about to turn 11 years old,

And it was time to let us know,

Me and his mom,

What he wanted for his birthday.

And we all know there are some kids who change their mind about what they want day to day,

Right?

But then there are those,

Like our son,

Who are super clear.

He's one of those folks,

He's very careful in his decision making.

It takes 10 minutes to figure out what candy bar to get from 7-Eleven.

So when he says he wants something,

He's thought about it.

So we say,

What do you want for your birthday?

And his answer is,

I want a MacBook Pro.

I want a MacBook Pro.

And my first question is,

Do you know how much that costs?

Sweetheart,

How much does that cost?

He looks it up,

$2,

000.

$2,

000.

First of all,

You're 10.

And second of all,

You can't have that.

You can't have a MacBook Pro.

We just can't afford it.

So you're going to have to ask for something else.

And so he's a little sad,

And I'm a little sad and stern trying to hold that sadness back.

And it's several days later and I'm meeting my best friend for lunch.

And I can tell I'm hurting about it because I'm sharing about it a lot.

Can you believe this kid?

Does he think we're made of money?

Asking us for a MacBook Pro.

And we go on and we have our lunch and we're walking to the car and we embrace it.

And he says,

Hey,

Hold on a minute.

And he opens his trunk and he pulls out a laptop and he hands it to me.

It's a MacBook Pro.

It's a used MacBook Pro.

But he shares,

I just bought a new one and I was actually wondering what to do with my used one.

And I want to give it to your son and tell him to enjoy it.

And I realized in that moment what a screw up I had made.

What a mistake I had made.

I was teaching my son that his parents are his source.

I was teaching my son,

Dad is your source.

When the truth is that this incredible universe that we live in,

When we set a clear intention,

Can do all sorts of things known and unknown to us to bring about our desires.

And so in acknowledging that mistake,

I was on my way to being a successful screw up.

And you can be one too.

A mistake is different than an accident.

An accident to me kind of happens on its own.

A mistake takes effort.

A mistake to me isn't the same as doing a wrong.

I think when you're doing something wrong it has to be intentional at some level.

A mistake can be something wrong but we have that ability to make it right.

And again,

When we see mistakes not as our imperfections,

But as vital to the creative process of living a whole life and demonstrating what we want,

They become an important part of living that can free us up and also move us into being our genuine,

Complete selves.

And so I want to share with you today three things to remember in order to be a successful screw up and to make great mistakes.

The first thing,

When it comes to your mistakes,

Don't avoid them but embrace them.

Embrace your mistakes.

So I got this MacBook Pro and I'm driving to bring it home and the mistake isn't done yet,

See,

Because I'm questioning myself,

Should I really give this to him?

You know,

I told him,

You can't have this.

If I give it to him,

Then I'd be lying.

I'd be wrong.

Or maybe I should play Super Dead and say that I got it for him myself.

Maybe I should try that.

See,

That's the thing with our mistakes.

When we don't admit them,

They continue to be made.

And so the successful screw up came in sitting my son down and being honest with him.

Gavin,

Happy birthday.

Here's your MacBook Pro.

And I want to tell you that I made a big mistake.

I made a mistake by telling you or inferring that we were the only ones,

Me and your mom,

That could get you this MacBook Pro.

And what I failed to tell you and remind you of is what a creative being you are.

That there is nothing more powerful in this life when you take the time to articulate your heart's desire and to commit to working towards it every day.

And when you do,

We don't always know how this thing called the universe works,

But there's this creative intelligence out there through synchronicity and through opportunity and through willingness and,

Yes,

Through even making mistakes.

It can bring us exactly what it is that we're searching for in our life.

A MacBook Pro,

The right partner,

The right job,

The right way of being.

You are that powerful,

Young man.

And that,

For me,

Is how the screw-up became successful.

Sometimes it's not until we screw up that the path forward becomes clear in our lives.

Sometimes it's not until we realize that we're mistaken that the answer comes clear.

It's then that our mistakes become those happy accidents that help guide us on our way.

That term,

Happy accident,

Most well popularized by the great painter and teacher of painting,

Bob Ross.

Remember watching him on public television?

Known for his sweet cadence,

His acute wit,

And his immense gentleness,

Inviting you into the world of the canvas by creating a safe environment for you to accept yourself completely and have fun,

Even make mistakes if you wish.

Something that a lot of people don't know about Bob Ross is that before he was a painting teacher,

He was a master sergeant in the Air Force for 20 years.

In other words,

His job was to yell at people.

Make that bed,

Clean up that floor,

Stand up straight.

Ross told himself,

If I ever get out of this and I retire,

I promise I will never yell at anyone ever again.

You can see how this influenced him as he discovered painting and became this teacher of so many,

Not only of how to paint creatively,

But how to live a creative life.

In the middle of those lessons,

Again,

Very gently,

Very sweetly,

Very safely inviting you in,

Inviting you to create and explore.

He'd say things like,

We don't make mistakes,

We just have happy accidents.

Don't be afraid to go out on a limb because that's where the fruit is.

This is your world.

You're the creator.

Find freedom on this canvas.

Believe that you can do it because you can do it.

You can do it.

Doesn't that feel good?

Sometime this week,

I don't want to speak for you,

But I'm going to bet that you're going to screw something up.

That you're going to make a mistake.

I've made eight already this morning.

You're going to make a mistake.

And when I make a mistake,

I'm going to hear it from my inner narrator.

Everyone have an inner narrator?

Right?

Someone that talks at you,

Freud called it the super ego.

And I don't know about for you,

But for me,

It's often that Master Sergeant.

You fool,

What did you just do?

Whole perfect and complete mess is more like it.

You're embarrassing yourself.

Stop it.

Did you even have that Master Sergeant in there somewhere and creep out from time to time?

It's hard on us.

So what if just this week,

Just this week,

Just try,

Just replace the Master Sergeant with Bob Ross?

What if Bob Ross was our inner narrator all through the week?

Yeah,

I see you just made a mistake,

But what an opportunity.

What a happy accident.

Yes,

You said the wrong thing,

But what a wonderful opportunity to do the right thing right now.

This is your canvas.

This is your life.

Screw it up beautifully.

Mess it up magnificently.

Embrace who you are.

Love who you are.

And bring all of the colors within you into this world around you and be not afraid.

One week.

Just try it.

And I'm not one to make promises from this stage because we're religious scientists and that means that we are supposed to take these ideas and practice them in the laboratory of life to see if they work for us.

And on this one,

I'm willing to promise that at the end of the week,

You won't want to go back.

And our lives will have a better flow and a better environment and we can be less of a Master Sergeant and more of Bob Ross for the people in our life as well.

I love something our founder,

Ernest Holmes,

Said.

He said,

It should be understood that we can demonstrate in spite of ourselves.

Let me say that again.

We can demonstrate in spite of ourselves.

In spite of all weakness,

In spite of all fear,

In spite of all that is in us because such is the power of truth.

Not denying our mistakes but embracing them so that we don't have to repeat them over and over again gives us all we need to find success in our lives.

I have a great friend,

Dennis Smith.

I don't know how often he comes to church.

That's why I'm giving him name drops.

So Dennis,

I hope you finally tune in now and he shared with me that his father,

When he would go for a job interview and someone would say,

Well,

Why should we give you this job?

He would say,

The reason you should give me this job is I promise you I have made more mistakes than any other applicant for this position.

And what he was saying is that he had made so many mistakes that he was less likely now to repeat them.

Right?

So he was the best prepared to do the job.

So don't avoid your mistakes.

Embrace them.

Second,

Don't be afraid to make mistakes and don't be afraid of your mistakes.

If I hadn't made so many mistakes in relationships,

I wouldn't be married to the wonderful partner I have now.

If I hadn't made so many mistakes in ministry,

I wouldn't be standing before you today.

It takes courage to admit our mistakes and it takes courage to learn from our mistakes.

For too long in my life,

I've lived in that I meant to do that consciousness.

Anyone else have that consciousness?

I meant to do that.

Starts when I'm a teenager and I fall in front of my crush and start doing push-ups.

Right?

And it's this attitude that perceives ourselves in some way as some perfect person,

Which is totally boring.

And forgets that there's creativity in being mistaken.

And if we can admit it,

We can grow more humble.

And when we carry that into adulthood,

It still shows up.

Usually it's not the little mistake that's embarrassing.

It's the covering up mistake that's really embarrassing.

It's not tripping.

It's doing the sit-ups or the push-ups that's embarrassing.

It's not getting mustard all over my shirt.

It's blaming the chef or putting too much condiment on my sandwich.

Right?

It's not making the wrong turn.

It's saying,

Well,

You know,

I like to go this special way.

That kind of thing.

And that's what happens when you don't admit your mistakes.

You're bound to repeat them.

And the mistake continues to be made until it's acknowledged.

Just like you face your fears with courage and often find that they aren't so scary after all,

Because that courage pulls you through them,

It's the same with our mistakes.

When we're willing to acknowledge them,

They become a wisdom that can help us move forward.

I love how James Baldwin once put it,

He said,

If you're not afraid to look back,

Nothing you are facing can frighten you.

These days,

Instead of asking myself or being in that consciousness,

Have I meant to do that,

I like to pause and ask myself,

Did God mean to do that?

Let me explain what I mean by that.

Did God mean to do that when I tripped or I said that offhanded thing or I made that mistake?

Not that there's some being out there that's wanting you to suffer and is getting a kick out of torturing you in some way.

It's that idea,

Did God mean to do that because is there a message for me in this mistake that I just made that I'm being called to listen to and to hear?

Josh,

Stop trying to be perfect and start being genuine.

Josh,

I know you like to live under the illusion that you're right,

But maybe be open to changing your mind here.

Josh,

This person does not want you to answer all their questions,

They just want you to listen.

Josh,

This moment is a precious moment.

Pay attention.

Be present.

Don't let this moment pass you by.

So by asking did God mean that,

Either as a being or just this creative mind or collective unconscious that speaks through ourselves,

To help get me back on track.

And if I'm too caught up in maintaining a persona of perfection,

Of a persona of one who should not be questioned,

Then I'm failing to really discover and bring forth the most genuine parts of who I am to my life.

And that's the third point that I want to share today about making great mistakes.

And that is great mistakes are a vehicle to the genuine.

A great mistake is a vehicle to the genuine.

Sometimes I'll live a day and I'll have done everything right.

It's a cookie cutter day.

No damage was done.

I did this correctly,

Did this correctly,

Talked with this person,

Did a good job in this meeting,

Did everything I was supposed to do,

And yet at the end of the day I'm feeling depressed.

I feel empty.

Something was missing in this day.

And what was it?

It was me.

It was my own genuineness.

It was my own uniqueness trying to maintain things in a certain way.

I was so afraid of not screwing up or making mistakes that I missed bringing a real sense of creativity to my day and my life.

See,

It's that genuineness that lets us live life fully,

Catch our mistakes,

And do genuine things in response.

Burn your dinner,

Go out for pizza.

Put your foot in your mouth,

Put your humility there also.

Say the wrong thing,

Do the right thing.

And see,

Sometimes we don't want to make mistakes because they expose us.

When I make a mistake I feel really vulnerable.

I'm fragile.

People are actually seeing me in this moment.

And what I fail to realize at times is that vulnerability,

That level of intimacy that I've been exposed in,

That thing that I'm actually trying to protect and I don't want people to see is actually my real power.

Right there are actually my unique gifts,

That genuineness,

That if I were willing to bring them more fully into my life by doing the best I can and being as honest as I can and admitting I'm going to screw this up from time to time.

But I pick myself back up and keep going and the world needs your genuineness.

Your life starves for your sincerity.

Your authenticity is creative.

I know in Science of Mind we say that intelligence is creative.

Your thoughts are creative and that's absolutely true.

But intelligence goes beyond just our thinking.

It involves our feelings,

Our visions,

Our dreams,

Our actions and it also involves your genuineness.

And for me there is nothing that sets the creative medium into motion more than by applying your unique self in all of its beautiful perfections and all of its beautiful flaws to your life on a daily basis.

It's then that the magic happens.

It's then that the synchronicities come about.

It's then that you meet your true friends and they meet you.

It's then that you feel that sense of at-one-ment with your inner and outer life that you can let your light shine even in the seeming broken up or fractured places.

Next Sunday is a high holy day for many mile-hires.

Anyone want to take a shot at what it is?

Someone may have guessed it but it's Oscar Sunday.

Next Sunday.

High holy day for many mile-hires.

I don't know if we'll have gatherings this year.

But I loved last year's Oscars.

It was just before all this stuff went down because it had one of my favorite acceptance speeches.

It was by a gentleman named Pong Joon Ho who made the film Parasite that won like almost everything last year.

And I loved his acceptance speech because he was so humble in honoring all of his fellow nominees.

He even shared that the quote that inspired him to become a film director came from one of his fellow nominees,

Martin Scorsese,

Who would say,

What is most personal is most creative.

Isn't that good?

What is most personal is most creative.

So when you think of that in terms of art,

When you really get in touch with your own personal experience,

When you really get in touch with what resonates to your own soul and you put it on a canvas or you put it in a movie or put it in a poem or a story or a song,

It has this magical power to resonate universally with people.

It's this divine contradiction kind of.

That unique thing about you is the thing that is going to cause people to resonate with you most.

And I think it's true in everyday life as well.

Carl Rogers,

The great therapist and teacher,

Put it this way.

He would say,

What is most personal is most general or what is most personal is most universal.

And sometimes he put it this way.

He'd say,

You know,

That part of you that you're most afraid to share with others.

You know,

That part of you that makes you feel most fragile and perhaps vulnerable.

You know,

That secret that you don't want to tell.

You know,

That that part of yourself that you keep inhibited.

That very thing,

If you would choose to share it with others,

That very thing that you fear,

If it was expressed in any way,

You would receive judgment.

And rejection.

That very thing is the thing that if you shared it with most resonate with others.

What a powerful idea and what a powerful charge if we're willing to know that some mistakes will happen along the way,

That when we are willing to be vulnerable,

When we're willing to be honest,

When we're willing to show up humbly,

That not only is it the right thing to do,

But it's creative.

It sets the creative process into motion to bring things about in alignment with our mental equivalent,

What it is that we're looking for,

But even beyond our imagination as well.

Our job is not to stay still and try to be perfect people.

Our job is again to go into the world and to screw it up magnificently.

It's to co-create using our mistakes and that divine power within us to be the best people we can be.

And you'll win admiration in the process.

Carl Rogers speaks to this too,

This idea of never staying fixed,

But always staying fluid.

He says,

To accept oneself as a stream of becoming,

Not a finished product.

It means that a person is a fluid process,

Not a fixed and static entity.

Thank God.

A flowing river of change,

Not a block of solid material,

A continually changing constellation of potentialities,

Not a fixed quantity of traits.

Nature and evolution is beautiful,

But you're missing it if you don't recognize that it's also incredibly messy.

And if your life is messy right now,

If there are things that you're struggling with,

If this seems off and this seems wrong,

Maybe you're doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing.

Maybe sometimes that's the way it's supposed to be a little,

But if you can embrace those mistakes,

If you don't fear your flaws,

If you're willing to allow whatever is going on to be a vehicle for you to be genuine,

Then you can bring forth that deep power within you that is a vulnerable but strong creative power.

And you can bring healing to yourself,

To your relationships,

And you can bring forth what you're looking for in your life more and more each day.

Less and less stress,

More and more self-acceptance,

Less judgment,

More compassion,

Less know-it-allness,

More humility,

And a feeling of the flow of your own soul and your own life within you and all around you.

Let's have a prayer.

So just recognizing that divine magnificence,

That divine which is the whole of all being and yet the sacred seed of creation within each and every one of us,

A seed,

The same planet in each and every one of us that grows through each of us uniquely,

Through our beautiful bodies,

Through our brilliant minds,

Through the genius of our hearts,

And through the soul of our connections,

We have been given this great gift of life,

The perfect medium,

Even when it's messy,

To bring forth the seeds of potentiality within each and every one of us.

So we take a moment to recognize any weeds that need to be removing,

Weeds of limited thinking.

We take a moment to think of loved ones who may not be quite feeling their potentiality right now and are really struggling.

And we pray and know that there can be clearings of self-acceptance and love,

Boldness and bravery that can help bring those seeds forth.

For that very thing we seek comes about when we recognize its equivalent within us and live from it unabashedly.

And speaking a word for the wholeness of our community,

The wholeness of each people here,

May we recognize this wholeness not just in theory,

But in our daily practice.

I will love myself.

I will love others even when it's hard.

And even when the things going on in life seem unlovable,

I recognize that greatness of life,

That greatness of spirit that binds us all together.

And I bring it forth through my choices,

My actions,

Even through my mistakes and my screw-ups,

Successfully,

Magnificently,

Beautifully,

Right here and right now,

I declare loving myself,

Loving this life,

Loving others with that genuine love which blazes a trail that we can follow with trust and with faith.

And so it is.

Reviews

Thank you! I needed this today, specifically searched for something on when you make a mistake. I shared your funny stories with my 10 year old and they laughed too.

Loved this!! Great message

What an inspiring and wonderfully described ‚mistake adventure‘ through the doors of life to love and growth

Rev. Josh - wow! I love this message. It’s a “must hear” for all ages. Thank you!!!