While enjoying an extra hot chai latte and reading at Barnes and Noble,
I looked up.
Gazing outward through the second floor glass window,
I became aware of the stillness of the moment.
The glass was as clear as the empty open-space pupils of my eyes,
Allowing the reflected light from outside to freely enter.
For just a moment,
All I saw were multi-shaped splashes of color that instantly transformed themselves into trees,
Sky,
Cars,
And clouds.
Without any willful thought or consent,
Everything I was seeing spontaneously had acquired a name.
It seemed surreal.
Traffic was flowing right and left on the road.
Inside the plaza,
Cars and people were coming and going.
From my view looking down from the second floor and removed from hearing any of the sounds from outside,
I felt sheltered from the hustle and bustle.
That's when it struck me.
Just as the spontaneous naming of the trees,
Clouds,
And cars,
Even each of my thoughts had a name attached to it.
Thirsty,
Sipping,
Swallowing,
Reading,
More words.
This morphed into groups of words making up thoughts that sometimes resulted in a feeling or body sensation.
And it worked in reverse order,
Too.
An itch became a scratch.
A pressure on my butt became a readjusting of my sitting position and on and on.
Could I think or be aware of anything without it being a conceptual thought with the appendage of having a name?
Can I have thinking without naming or without words?
Can I have non-conceptual thought?
Can I see the forest and not think trees?
Can I look,
See,
Hear,
And feel without naming?
What do you think?
As I got up,
Every movement had a feeling with an accompanying thought.
Sensation in my leg became felt stiff.
Pain in my butt became hurting.
Walking,
I tried to do a walking meditation and just focus on the movements and sensations I was aware of.
But it turned out to be a naming of each part of each step or the breath.
It became a game.
I thought,
Maybe be like a walking baby before language.
Seeing,
Walking,
And doing without thinking or naming.
No thought,
No name,
No problem.
Like Obi Wan Kenobi suggested to Luke Skywalker,
I was stretching out with my feelings.
It felt as though I was creating natural happiness.
Whenever I became aware that the feelings had stopped,
I just started over.
