The Adult Chair Podcast: Breaking Negative Patterns & Programs

The only way you’re going to heal is to own your life. That’s the overriding message of the show today and it comes thanks to the story of a fabulous client we’ll call “Carolyn.” She’s graciously offered her story for this week’s show as a demonstration of owning your own stuff, and making great strides in breaking the damaging patterns and programs that play over and over in our lives. Thanks to her work with the Chairs, she’s found grounding and hope in moving forward through relationship addiction and more!

Transcript

Hello everybody and welcome to the adult chair on RashPixel FM.

I am Michelle Schellfond.

Oh wow.

I just had a session with a client and it was perfect because on my to-do list for podcast was how we overcome dysfunctional patterns and programming.

So in other words,

Things that we know are dysfunctional for us that we continue to do over and over and we're just kind of stuck in them.

How do we overcome them?

So that's what I want to talk to you about today.

I really feel like this is going to be such a great show.

So anyway,

Before we get started,

You can find out more about the show on theadultchair.

Com and you could subscribe for free by signing up for our mailing list or find us anywhere the finest podcasts are served with a quick search for the adult chair.

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This is where you really learn more about how to live in your adult chair.

You practice with people,

You comment,

You post,

You ask questions,

All kinds of things and the people in this group are really working this adult chair model.

So come join us.

It's closed.

Nobody sees what you post.

It's fantastic.

Anyway,

Moving on.

I'm very excited because I want to talk about this client.

So we're going to call her Carolyn.

So Carolyn called me.

We did a phone session.

She actually lives out of the country and she wanted some help because she was dealing with a lot of illness most of her life.

And when I say illness,

I mean chronic anxiety,

Depression,

She's sick a lot,

She has various things that happen to her and even doing cutting.

She's a 22 year old woman.

And by the way,

Even if you're not,

I'm sure a lot of therapists or coaches will like this,

But even if you're not,

You will like this I believe because it will help you.

You can plug in whatever your issue,

Just plug it into what I'm going to talk about today and I think then you'll be able to start working with yourself on your own programs and patterns that you're trying to break.

So I'm really thrilled to use this client as an example,

But plug yourself in whatever's going on with you.

And I feel like you're going to have some good relief around that kind of thing.

Okay.

Anyway,

Back to Carolyn.

We spoke a lot about what has been going on with her as far as she spent most of her life like this.

She really has had a lot of issues around,

Again,

This anxiety.

She's lived with a lot of chronic anxiety and started cutting just a few years ago and it's not been good.

She's actually been in and out of the hospital.

So this has been happening with her,

But what was so beautiful is she reached out to me and said,

So we just had our session today and she said,

You know,

She said,

I had this awareness that I've been doing this most of my life off and on.

I mean,

And it's gotten probably a little bit worse over the last few years since she's not been living at home,

But she said,

You know,

I've been doing all of these things and I'm realizing I don't want to do them and they're not healthy.

In other words,

What I heard,

What she said to me was what I heard is she's having more conscious awarenesses,

Which come from the adult chair,

By the way.

So she's not just reacting to life.

She's being more conscious saying,

Gosh,

I'm doing this and I think that there's a better way and something's not right.

So she had that awareness,

Something's not right and this is not who I am,

But I don't know how to get out of it.

So that's again what I call and some of us don't have this sort of extreme sort of patterning or programming,

But we might have one or two of these things or something else.

Whether it be you're stuck in getting,

You know,

Fired from a job over and over again or you keep picking bad partners and you keep getting divorced or whatever it might be for you.

You know what I mean when I say programs or patterns that we get into.

It's like,

Why am I doing this thing again?

I don't know how to stop it.

So that's kind of what she and I started talking about.

So anyway,

And the last thing I just want to go back to what was going on with her is she noticed,

This is what really tipped her off,

So then reach out to me.

She said,

You know,

I've been seeing this therapist and she said,

And it was,

You know,

A weekly occurrence,

Then two times a week.

She says,

Now I was going like almost every day during the week and she said,

And I realized I really started getting excited to go see her and I really started feeling like I would think about it even when I wasn't with her and I couldn't wait to share with her what was going on with me and she said,

I started realizing,

You know,

I kind of want to make sure that I'm sick enough so I keep seeing her and she said,

That's not right because I feel like I might be addicted to her and I said,

Okay,

Great and I said,

And this is not a sexual thing.

She didn't have any sexual attraction for her.

She just really loved going into therapy.

So that's where we started.

So she told me all of this,

All the details of all of this that has been going on with her and so I just have like a couple,

I created a couple steps for you guys.

Like how do we,

Now what do we do?

So the first thing is we have to get in touch with,

I would say,

I would call it something like introspection and ownership.

So we want to start,

Instead of looking outside of ourselves and blaming people outside of us for our reality,

So again,

Remember when we blame,

That's adolescent chair.

When we use should,

That's adolescent chair.

So I'm mad at so and so because they should have known better.

They should have done this.

No,

No,

No,

No,

No,

No.

We are responsible for our own lives,

Okay?

And you might look at this girl.

If you saw this girl or you knew this girl,

You might say,

Oh,

I feel so bad for Carolyn.

You know,

She's sick all the time.

She's got all these things.

Ty is so sad,

She goes in the hospital.

This is so sad.

It's like,

Hmm.

Again,

I don't sit there and judge her for any of that,

But I wonder,

My first thought was I wonder what's going on inside with her thoughts,

With her emotions,

Like what's going on?

So she did a beautiful job at putting it all out there,

Okay?

So that would be step one,

Okay,

Really going inside,

Taking ownership of everything,

Putting it all out there.

Getting your cards out all on the table and owning it.

Own your life.

This is my life.

This is what's happening.

I've got to own it.

The only way your life is going to change is if you own your shit.

I'm sorry.

That's what it is.

Even the stuff you don't want to look at,

That's the stuff you really need to own.

Like own everything about it.

And she did that today.

And she said,

I know I do all this,

Don't know how to stop,

And now I feel this addiction even with my therapist.

Something's not right.

I'm only 22.

Why is all of this happening?

So the second thing that I would say to do or the second step would be to ask yourself this question,

Which is exactly what I asked her.

I said,

So what happens for you when you do this,

Fill in the blank,

This thing?

So I filled it in with like,

What happens to you when you go to the hospital,

When you share with your therapist you have anxiety?

What happens?

What sort of feedback do you get and what feeling comes over you?

What thoughts do you have?

So what happens inside of you?

So if you're someone,

Let's just use a different example.

You're somebody that gets fired from a job all the time or gets broken up with all the time.

So ask yourself this,

What happens inside of you when that happens,

Do you turn into a victim?

Do you get attention?

Do you blame yourself?

Do you blame someone else?

What happens inside of you?

So I asked her this exact question and she sat for a moment.

She says,

When I do all of these things,

I get a lot of attention and it really makes me feel like I'm unique and special,

Like I stand out.

And then we delved further into that and I just kept going with that and I said,

Okay,

Well,

Tell me a little bit more,

Like sit in that now so you feel really like you are unique and you're special.

And I said,

What would happen if you were not sick?

If you didn't have anxiety,

You didn't have depression and you weren't any of these things.

She says,

You know,

She said,

If I'm not sick,

Then I don't matter.

She says,

In fact,

Because I'm not getting any of that attention,

She said,

I would disappear.

She says,

I would feel like I'm a nobody and I'm invisible.

Wow,

Like that's a big deal.

So basically,

If she's not getting that attention from her illness,

Then she fades away into nothing.

And I asked her,

I said,

So with your illness then and cutting and all of these things,

Because you know,

Sometimes you have to go to the doctor and you know,

You have to hide where you're cutting and the depression.

And she said,

Yeah,

She said,

It really helps me to be seen.

I get attention and everybody notices me again.

And that feels really,

Really good.

The next thing is she started sharing with me about her therapist and how many days a week her therapist has seen her.

And that with her therapist,

She even feels really special because she was thrilled that her therapist wanted to see her so many times a week.

And it was by her therapist request that she has seen numerous times a week that she calls her when she's,

You know,

Not when she feels off or when she feels like she feels anxious,

Her therapist invited her to call.

And I have no,

I know a little,

I know therapists might be a little upset about that.

I was like,

Wow,

That's interesting.

But no comment.

I'm not going to,

This is not to talk about a therapist.

But anyway,

But anyway,

So my client today was saying that she felt really,

Really special that her therapist wanted her to call and wanted her to come in numerous days a week.

And so my client said today,

Carolyn said,

You know,

Do you do this for any of your other clients?

You know,

Do you see your other clients as often as me?

Do you let them call you?

And you know,

I'm so thrilled that you're doing this for me.

Thank you so much.

And what her therapist said was,

Yes,

Of course,

You know,

I love all of my clients.

This is my job.

I'm meant to be here on this planet and I love,

You know,

I love my work and all of this.

And of course,

So Carolyn felt really,

Really,

Really unique,

Really special.

However,

When she said that she treated all of her clients like that,

She felt less special.

So that made her feel sad again.

And then she said,

You know,

She said,

Michelle,

I really felt like I wanted to create even more attention.

She was in this,

She goes,

I had this awareness that a part of me wanted to create some really big,

Big illness so that I would get even more attention than her other clients.

And she goes,

That's when I knew I had to call you.

And I said,

Okay,

Good.

So and again,

I don't know what's happening.

This is another country.

So I don't know why the therapist seen her every day or what's happening over there.

So I don't have judgment about that.

I don't really know what's going on.

So I can't comment on that.

So anyway.

So then we went in again back to the adult chair model.

I said,

So what happens inside of you at the thought of seeing your therapist less,

Not seeing her every single day?

And she said,

She sat for a minute and she said,

You know,

I feel really sad.

I feel like I don't matter.

I feel like I'm invisible.

And she went on with words like that.

She says,

I just feel like I'm going to fade back into this nothingness.

She goes,

But really,

I feel so sad.

And I said,

Okay.

I said,

So again,

What I'm doing with her is working with her parts.

And I explained this to her.

I said,

Remember with this model,

I feel like we have the child,

Which again,

We could have a few different children inside of us.

In fact,

I think a lot of us do.

And in addition to that,

In this adolescent chair,

This ego fragments off and we have so many different personas that are in that adolescent chair.

So I said,

I said,

You have to remember you have all these different parts that are participating in your life.

So I said,

You have this part of you that feels really,

Really sad.

And the same part might feel like I don't matter and I'm invisible.

I said,

But let's just go to this part that feels really,

Really sad.

And I said,

You know,

If sadness could speak,

What would it say?

And it was interesting.

And she sat with him and she says that there's no way that God can love all of us this much.

And that there's not enough love for me.

So I need to stand out.

And when you're telling me that I shouldn't see my therapist anymore,

It makes me really,

Really sad because I'm going to be again,

Now this goddess that came in,

She's not lovable by God.

She's not going to stand out.

So again,

She's invisible.

So it made perfect sense to me from the chair perspective.

So then again,

I went into the three chairs and I explained the three chairs to her.

I explained addiction to her,

Which I know you,

If you've listened to this show,

You've heard me talk about addiction,

But she was asking me,

We're talking about love addiction.

And I said,

You know what?

It sounds to me with your therapist,

It's not a love addiction.

I said,

I know you're not in love with your therapist.

Let's just call it like a relationship addiction.

And in that she fantasizes about going,

She knows the attention that she's going to get.

She feels so special.

She feels like her therapist is saving her.

I said,

Let's just call it a relationship addiction.

And then she really related to that.

And this whole idea again of the different parts started to make sense to her.

And I said,

Don't think of all of yourself as having a relationship addiction.

It's part of you.

And I said,

And so there's a part of you that feels sad and there's a part of you that feels like she can't live without your therapist.

And then there's another part of you that is coming up with all of these strategies in order to keep your therapist around,

In order to help you to feel visible in the world.

So anyway,

Getting back to addiction though,

My take on addiction,

And this is not a show on addiction,

But as a side note,

In case you have not heard me say this,

In my opinion,

Addiction at its core stems from all these unfelt emotions and feelings deep inside of us that we don't know what to do with.

So if she feels so invisible and like she doesn't matter,

That's deep inside of her.

And so this part of her came up with all these strategies in order to stop feeling that.

So with addiction,

I don't care if it's alcohol,

Codependency,

Relationship addiction,

Love addiction,

It's like there's parts deep inside of us that are in a tremendous amount of pain.

And we come up with ideas and vices and strategies in order not to feel that pain.

And when we do it repeatedly over and over and over again,

And it gives us that high,

Guess what it turns into then?

An addiction.

It's an addictive behavior that we're doing.

So again,

This is not a show on addiction,

But that's just a little side note.

So getting back to this adult chair model.

So then I asked her,

I said,

So go inside of yourself.

I said,

If we're a bunch of parts,

I said,

Let's just pretend like you're made up of a hundred parts inside of you.

I said,

And I know it feels like you're really sad and like God doesn't love you unless you're making up illness and all of these things.

I said,

Who feels so sad and like that part of you that just doesn't matter?

It could be the same part.

It could be two different parts.

I said,

Let's just go really deep into that one.

Who feels invisible?

I just skipped asking all these different questions about these different parts.

And she sat with it for a while and she said,

Wow,

She said,

I'm just having this awareness of this little girl who's three.

And I said,

Yeah.

And she said,

And she's just standing there with these really big,

Beautiful eyes.

And she's looking up at me and she said that her little girl was just sort of silent and not saying anything,

But just looking up at her,

But really quiet and really like muted,

Like not saying anything.

I said,

Oh,

Okay.

I said,

So when you tune into her,

She's the part that feels like,

And she said,

Yeah,

She's really sad and she doesn't feel like she matters and she feels really,

Really invisible and unloved.

And she's the part that feels like God does not have enough love for her.

So that's obviously her little child.

So the child part of her is having these intense emotions about that.

I did a couple of things with her as far as let her know who you are.

So I had her introduce herself.

I said,

Can you let her know that your name is Carolyn and you're 22 years old and you are an adult and it's 2018 and you're here with her now and you really look forward to getting to know her.

And she did that and she said she felt this little girl start to relax and she wasn't so scared and she wasn't so sad and she felt comforted in the fact that somebody was actually seeing her and looking at her and she felt like a little bit more like she mattered.

So she just did a little bit of dialoguing with this little girl.

And then I said,

Okay,

So let's go to part two,

Which is now because of these intense emotions that we have in this child chair,

What happens is that ego comes in in the adolescent chair and says,

I've got to come up with a strategy to numb this pain out.

How am I going to numb this out?

So I said,

Okay,

So let's go to that part.

And she says,

That part is really tricky.

And she said,

That part even feels like a boy or a masculine sort of energy.

And she said,

It's devious and manipulative.

And she said,

It feels like a cartoon.

I said,

Perfect.

She goes,

And it's really,

Really,

Really loud.

And I reminded her of this example that I used before on the show,

Which is when we have a part that's really,

Really loud,

It's interesting to me because when I delve into my parts that seem so loud,

What I found them to be is like the Wizard of Oz,

Which if anyone has seen the Wizard of Oz,

The Wizard of Oz,

Everyone is thinking,

Oh,

The whole movie is like,

Ooh,

And we get to see Oz.

Oz is great.

Oz is this huge character,

And Oz is this little short guy with a speaker and a big microphone.

So that's how these parts are.

They may have really,

Really,

Really loud voices.

And once we get in touch with them,

Everything starts to quiet down.

So that's what we did.

So I said,

Okay,

So let's go deeper into this.

I said,

Who's coming up with all these strategies?

And she says,

This devious part,

This part that is manipulative,

Is this part that is sneaky,

And they're coming up with all these strategies.

And I said,

Okay,

What strategies?

And she said,

Oh,

Cutting,

Illness,

Getting really close with this therapist.

She's going on and on about all these different things that this part has been doing most of her life.

And they're very dysfunctional.

So this is that negative program that I was talking about,

Negative patterning.

So this part,

By the way,

I said to her,

What age does this part feel?

And she just had a sense of it standing in front of her.

She says,

The first thought that comes to me,

Which I always say that,

What's the first thought that comes to you?

Don't think too hard about this when you ask that part or when you get a sense of how old that part is that's in front of you.

She says,

That's weird.

It's 14.

And I said,

Perfect.

This part coming out of your adolescent chair,

This come in to actually help to numb out all the pain.

So this part has come in to say,

I know what to do.

Let's cut.

I know what to do.

Let's make your depression so bad or your anxiety so bad that we need to go to the hospital.

Let's do this.

Let's do that.

It's coming up with ideas and it's 14.

14.

It's so little.

It's so young.

It doesn't know.

It doesn't know any better and it's doing its best.

That's the thing.

That's why this is a model of self-love.

It's like,

Once we learn about all of our parts,

Even the parts of us that seem like,

What the hell are you talking about?

Why would you make me go to the hospital?

Why would you even think about making yourself?

Because she said this to me.

She goes,

I feel like I want to create an even worse illness so I get extra special attention from my therapist and I know it's wrong.

I said,

That's the part of you that's creating this stuff.

Let's go get in touch with that part right now.

It was fascinating.

I said,

Can you connect to that part?

She's just imagining it in front of her,

In the air.

I said,

Okay.

I said,

Connect with that part and introduce yourself to that part.

I want you to say,

My name is Carolyn.

I'm 22 years old and I am the adult version of you and I can help you manage this life.

She did that and the part came back and said,

Oh my God,

I don't even know who are you?

It was kind of shocked.

Like what?

Because I had no idea.

That's the problem is these parts get stuck in time and they don't know that it's 2018.

So I had her say,

Hey,

I'm Carolyn.

It's 2018 and I'm here with you and I'm going to help you manage this life.

I had her say it again.

That part,

She said,

Started to relax and the part said to her,

I didn't know there was anybody else here.

It was so cool.

She started laughing.

She goes,

He didn't know.

I said,

Right.

They don't know that we're here as our adult,

Here to help.

She dialogued with him a little bit and as she dialogued,

He really started to soften and she said,

How would you feel about me helping you?

You are having such a hard time.

You're creating all this stuff and this part said,

Yeah,

I could use some help.

So Carolyn said,

Yeah,

I'm here and I will help you.

So with every interaction you have with this part,

Start to soften and soften and soften and soften.

It's so cool.

And remember when we're working with these parts,

The brain does not know if it's happening in our imagination or if it's happening in reality and it does not know.

It thinks it's all real.

It thinks everything's really happening.

So the coolest part of this work is that we actually are going and not only rescuing and healing these old parts of us that are fragmented off running the show,

But it's like a domino effect.

So we go back and work with that three-year-old.

Our whole life changes because now we're bonding with that three-year-old and we're going in and dialoguing with that 14-year-old.

So everything starts to change and the brain doesn't know.

The brain thinks that it's all really happening.

So then after connecting with the adolescent part,

That 14-year-old,

I said,

Let's go back in and check on that child.

So I said,

Why don't you let the 14-year-old know after we dialogued with it just a little for a bit?

I said,

Why don't you let that part know that it can go do whatever it wants to do.

It's 14.

It probably doesn't want to manage a little girl that's three years old.

I said,

Let that part know it does not need to manage the three-year-old anymore,

That you've got this,

Right?

And I said,

Suggest that it goes and plays with friends,

Goes to the mall,

Hangs out,

Does whatever it wants to do,

But not manage and take care of the three-year-old.

And so she shared that with this 14-year-old.

It was thrilled and said,

Fine.

And she said,

I got this.

You can go.

You can come back and check on me later,

But I got this for right now.

So 14-year-old left and as it left,

I said,

Can you check in with it one more time?

How does it feel?

And she goes,

It's so much more relaxed.

She's like,

It's not so stressed.

It's not even having those crazy thoughts that I was having before.

I said,

Fabulous.

I said,

Now let's check in with that three-year-old again.

And I said,

So pull the three-year-old in.

And I said,

What's happening now with your three-year-old?

And she looked down and she said,

Wow,

This three-year-old feels so much lighter.

And I said,

Let's do this.

I said,

Because what that three-year-old is longing for is to be seen because she felt invisible.

So she wants to feel seen and she felt like she didn't matter.

So let's say,

Why don't you tell this little girl that you see her and that she matters and that you love her?

So she said that to the little girl.

And I said,

If you want to hold her hand,

You can.

And you're just imagining all this in your mind.

She did.

And she said,

This little girl is so happy.

Now not ecstatic,

But she felt,

And she used the word like she's so much more peaceful and she's even relaxed now.

I said,

Fabulous.

That's your homework.

So I said,

What I want you to do now every day is to start paying attention and tuning into her,

Even if it's just a couple of minutes a day and check in on her and say,

Hey,

I just want you to know I'm here.

Is there anything that you need?

I said,

She may need a hug.

She may want to hear something from you.

I said,

But regardless of what she needs,

Make sure you're saying,

Because these are her core issues.

This is how you change that program and that patterning.

I said,

Make sure you say to her,

I see you.

I'm so glad you're here.

You matter to me and I love you.

So she said,

Perfect.

She wrote that down.

I said,

If you want to check in on that 14 year old,

That would be a good thing too for like a minute or two and just say,

Hey,

I'm here.

Just want to check in.

How are you doing?

I hope you're spending a lot of time with your friends.

Get out.

Like I've got this and that 14 year old needs to hear,

I've got that.

You've got this and remind that 14 year old,

It's 2018.

You're 22 years old.

You're an adult and you can take care of a three year old.

It does not have to.

You might have to remind it a couple of times.

And she says,

I can totally do that.

And she says,

You know,

She said,

I feel,

She said,

I feel so much lighter.

She says,

I just talked to another therapist earlier today and she's,

I've been working with this other therapist.

She goes,

This adult chair,

She goes,

It's like,

Makes so much sense.

She says,

I feel so much lighter and so much more peaceful.

And she said,

How long is this going to take to continue?

And how will I see a change in my behavior?

I said,

It's already happened.

Meaning not that she's a hundred percent changed or healed,

But what this is,

Remember,

Is a spiritual process,

Not a linear one.

I said,

So you already feel better.

I said,

You're already calmer.

And just by connecting to that little girl inside of you,

That little child and that adolescent part,

Things have already started to change.

So it's not linear.

You remember the linear example I use,

Which is I have a headache.

Let me take an Advil.

I'm better in 20 minutes.

That's not how this works.

This is,

This is work where I'm going to connect into my child.

I'm going to connect into the adolescent part if there is one that we need to talk to.

And then let's see what shows up next.

Let's see the action steps now that I take.

Let's see what thoughts come to me because I said,

I'm willing to bet with you that your thoughts are going to be a little different now.

You may not want to create so much illness.

I said,

And the more that you're connecting with that little girl,

I'm curious to see what's going to happen moving forward.

Because if you feel seen and you feel heard and you feel like you matter and that you love her and she feels loved,

I said,

I wonder how much creating of this illness that this little,

Or excuse me,

That this adolescent is going to need to do if this little girl feels all these things.

Because her pain will be less,

So there will be no need to then create all these illnesses.

She was thrilled and I see this happen all the time with my clients.

I see it happen with myself.

This is how we change patterns and programs inside of us.

All of these things that I just did,

It's getting in touch with those parts.

Then the last thing,

The very,

Very last thing that we want to do is ask ourselves,

How do I want to live my life instead?

You want to be healthy?

This is what she and I are going to do in our next session when I check in with her.

The next,

Or maybe the session after that,

It's like when we really wrap this up,

It's like we oftentimes want to change and we have these fleeting thoughts about,

Hey,

I wish I could hold down a job.

I wish I could attract in a great guy.

After we go in,

Think about this,

When we do this work with the chairs,

It's like going inside the engine of a car and replacing things,

Maybe putting in a faster engine,

Replacing spark plugs,

All of this stuff.

Everything is going to run better.

That's what we're doing.

When we go in and we're paying attention to ourselves,

Instead of putting the focus on the outside,

We're putting the focus on the inside.

When she said that she was sad,

I didn't go after what was making her sad outside of her.

I said,

Let's go in and meet with sadness inside of you.

Let's hear what it has to say.

We turn toward ourselves.

We clean out what's on the inside.

We shift what's on the inside.

Then again,

What I will do with her when we meet again,

Either in the next session or the one after that,

Is like,

So what do I want my life to look like instead?

Well,

I want to be healthy.

What's that look like?

What's that feel like?

This is where then we put law of attraction in place.

That means I want to imagine what my life will look like and I want to feel inside the emotions that come up with that.

Let's use Carolyn as an example.

I want health.

I want positive health.

I want to maybe go to a therapist once a week or once a month even.

I want to be healthy.

I want to have relationships where I'm seen and heard.

She talked about some other examples in her life where people just don't see her,

Whether it be friends or family.

I said,

What I will say to her is,

So what would that be like when you're at a family function and people actually see you?

We start putting into focus,

Into our mind first,

What we want to see show up in our lives and then we feel it,

Feel it,

Feel it,

Feel it.

That just takes,

Again,

A minute or two a day.

If you just have that much time,

After you've done this inner work,

Start creating what you want instead.

It's going to happen either way,

But wouldn't it be nice if we could direct the energy of what we want in our lives?

For example,

After you do the inner work of,

Let's say you keep getting fired from a job and you don't understand,

But you do all the inner work that we just talked about on the show,

Then you have the idea of,

I just want a job where I am appreciated,

Where I'm staying for at least five years,

Where my boss congratulates me and tells me how great I'm doing.

Imagine that in your mind and then bring that thought into the body and feel it.

Use your emotions.

Your emotions create so fast.

We need to have that emotional rocket fuel behind our creations that just transforms us when we really feel the emotion behind the thought.

That's creation.

It's all about the emotions.

Everything is about the emotions.

We've got to work with the emotions and then we've got to use the emotions and put them in play with what we want.

That's the final step to this,

To truly shifting programs and patterns,

Dysfunctional programs and patterns and then creating the ones that we want in our lives.

Okay,

That was a lot of information.

I hope that you all found this helpful.

Would love to hear your comments on the show.

Come on into the closed group or Instagram and let me know.

Would love to hear some feedback.

Tell me what you guys think about the show.

Today,

You guys,

I want to recommend this book.

It's called Personal Development Simplified.

It's an easy to follow guide to personal development for beginners,

Identifying break negative patterns,

Become a better version of yourself.

Guaranteed,

It says.

That is by,

He goes by Coach KP.

Because his name is so crazy.

It's I'm going to spell it because I can't even read it.

K-S-H-I-T-I-J.

P-R-A-S-A-I.

I like Coach KP.

This book again is sponsored or offered through Audible.

This whole podcast is now sponsored by Audible and you can get this book free or any book free.

With a 30 day free trial,

All you have to do is go to www.

Audibletrial.

Com forward slash the adult chair and you can get this book for free.

It looks like a phenomenal book.

I like that he's talking about the inner child in here and loving yourself,

Receiving love,

Cultivating an abundance mentality,

Harnessing the power of positive thinking and more.

I love everything that I've read about this book.

I have not listened to it,

But I've been reading about it online and really,

Really,

Really loved it.

There you have it.

You can go with any recommendation that I'm offering or something else,

But you get it for free.

Audible trial.

Com forward slash the adult chair.

Hope you guys enjoyed the show and I look forward to hearing your feedback and breaking your own patterns and negative programming.

We all have got it.

We have big computers and we have to update our minds just like we update our computers.

I hope that you apply these principles.

Can't wait to hear.

Again,

Thank you,

Thank you,

Thank you,

Thank you to all of you that have gone into iTunes and shared comments.

I so appreciate that.

It is like,

I don't know,

It just warms my heart.

I love reading these comments and feedback.

Thank you all so very much to whomever has done that.

That's it for today everybody.

Hope you enjoyed the show and I look forward to seeing you next week right here in the adult chair.

Reviews

I always enjoy listening to these podcasts. Great messaging put simply so very easy to follow. I love working & connecting with my inner child for better self awareness & growth. Thank you 🙏💗🙏💗🙏💗

Oh this was an excellent show and has given me several ah ha moments. I think I've made a huge connection for myself as it relates to the inner adolescent...wow. These examples you shared have been a hug tool for me, thank you.

Brilliant podcast, thank you! ❤️

Life-changing content - with an eye-opening message. Thank you.

Brilliantly insightful, Thank you Michelle 💜x

This was great. I need to check in with my child and adolescence self. The analog of the car needing new parts/tune up and the computer really resonated b

Such a confirmation for me. Michelle, you are about as real as can be. Awesome. Thanks.

This is the second talk I’ve listened to so far. Both have been really awesome for me to think about and reflect upon. Thank you.

Some helpful insight for me.

Wow! Just wow! I am in ACOA and this podcast really sounds incredibly healing. I am def going to Google this gal and her work. Thank you.

Oh my Michelle. Amazing podcast. I’ve tried to find the child in me who was left by her father at 4, but I can’t seem to find her. Im 63, is there no hope for me?
Thank you for a very insightful talk. One of the best.
🙏🏼🐾🌺💔🐾💐

Wow! So much to absorb and utilise, thnk you for sharing.

Very helpful, great example on how to put this into practice, and explains exactly how use the adult chair.

Thanks, good show!

This inner child stuff wasn't very accessible to me until hearing this young woman's story. Thank you for sharing. I think I was probably putting up a wall to really thinking about and being honest about my own inner child issues but somehow it was so much more relatable and accessible to hear in this way. Looking forward to helping myself out! Much love, Namaste.

Excellent points, advice and processes! Thank you.

I need to learn more about this