494: Shift From Victim To Empowered With One Simple Question

What does it really mean to live a soul aligned life, and why does it often feel so hard, even when I know it leads to more peace, joy, and freedom?

In this episode, I break down what a soul aligned life actually is (beyond spiritual buzzwords), why it can feel like everything is “falling apart” when you are actually waking up, and how to start consciously partnering with the part of you that is 99.99% Source instead of the 0.01% that is ego.

I share practical, grounded tools for navigating big life transitions, sitting with uncomfortable emotions without getting swallowed by them, and working with your triggers so they become portals to growth instead of proof that you are broken.

Transcript

Hello,

Hello my friends and welcome to the Michelle Chabot Show.

I'm happy to be here with you today talking about a topic that continues to come up,

Which is I have a lot of questions coming in around navigating your spiritual path or how do I live a soul aligned path.

So I did an event in September and it was called Living Your Soul Aligned Path and a lot of people were like,

Well what does that even mean?

Like I want to do that.

And I'm like,

Do you really?

Cause it's not easy,

But holy moly,

It's freedom.

The end result of living this way is emotional peace,

Emotional balance,

More joy in your life,

Improved relationships in your life,

More self love.

Is that enough?

I feel like that's a lot.

Like who doesn't want that?

And I'm speaking to you from a place of living like this.

And no,

By the way,

I am not perfect.

I have not reached the finish line.

This is an ongoing,

As they say,

Life is a journey.

But I can tell you,

I lived the opposite way for so much of my life.

I'm going to say,

I don't know,

Probably my early thirties maybe.

So maybe half of my life.

Wait a minute,

I'm not that old.

Maybe the first third of my life.

Let's just say that.

I forgot how old I was.

Let's think the first third of my life.

Anyway,

Anyway,

Here it is.

What the heck is a soul aligned life mean?

Like,

Why do I want to do it?

Now you know why,

But what the heck does it mean?

It means I'm aligning more with my soul and my soul's perspective,

Which is the higher perspective,

Which is the,

The,

The perspective of source of universe of God,

Whatever you want to call it,

That thing that's bigger than us that by the way,

We are connected to.

In fact,

I love this.

We are 99.

99% God and 0.

01% ego.

The problem is we have forgotten that we're God.

We have forgotten that we have source energy.

The thing that we come from,

That's what source is.

Think about it.

Source.

The thing that we have come from energetically is streaming right smack dab through us every second of every single day.

And we have forgotten.

And we live from a very separate perspective and we think,

No,

I'm Michelle Shelfon.

That's who I am.

Yeah,

That's,

That's my name,

But you know what?

I'm so much bigger than that.

And so are you and everyone on this planet,

All 8 billion people.

We are from something so much bigger and we've forgotten it.

So the question is,

And wait,

I want to say this.

The more in the dark we are about this,

That means the more in the ego that we live,

Which means I'm living more separately.

And I think I got to do it all on my own.

I think the world,

Everything is rest on my shoulders.

I got to do it.

I got to,

I got to make the money.

I got to make friends.

I got to make my life happen.

I got to,

I got to,

I got to fill in the blank,

Whatever it might be.

But when you start living a solo line life,

You start realizing,

Wait a minute.

It's like a flow of energy.

A river of energy is coming through me and I'm the vessel and I'm just showing up and I'm tuning into what that energy is asking me to do.

Where does that energy,

Where does it want me to go next?

What does it want me to do next?

And we start living this way.

That's what I mean by living a solo line life.

This is like allowing this beautiful life force energy to come through us.

We go,

Okay,

I guess I'm going to do this.

And we wait,

We live more present moment.

So many incredible freaking things happen.

It's unbelievable.

So how do we do it on a daily basis?

Here's some truths that we live by.

And these are,

These are actionable steps that you can start taking today that will help you to live a more soul aligned life.

Number one,

We want to start asking this question,

Or let me say it like this,

Embodying this truth.

Everything in life is happening for me.

So we would say this question,

Wow,

I wonder why that happened for me.

Feel that if you say,

I don't care if you're driving your car,

Wherever you are listening to me right now,

Ask,

Say that,

Say that statement aloud.

Everything happens for me.

Feel that in your body.

What does that feel like?

Versus everything happens to me.

So when this happens out here and this person's mean to me,

Do you ask yourself the question?

I wonder why that happened to me.

And I was someone that asked that question all the time.

Let me tell you what,

That was me.

Absolutely.

Yes.

And guess what?

Knowing where I am now.

And again,

I'm not perfect.

I do not ever claim to be perfect,

But I claim to be much better than I used to be.

When I,

Since shifting this,

My entire perspective on how I live has changed.

My life has gotten so much easier and I'm more empowered because I stepped out of the victim perspective because when we think life happens to us,

It means I have forgotten that I have life force energy streaming through me.

It is in charge.

It is in charge,

Not Michelle.

It is coming through me for an experience.

So instead we ask ourselves that question.

Wow.

I wonder why this is happening for me.

Huh?

Must be some time,

Must be time for soul growth,

Right?

Like we're here to grow.

We're here to experience life.

Understand this without a physical body.

We can't experience eating chocolate,

Eating ice cream,

Having sex,

Feeling the wind on my face,

Feeling the rain on my body,

Going for a swim,

Eating lobster,

Eating a burger,

Eating French fries.

I can't experience that as a soul.

So we line up,

We literally line up to come on down here and take on a physical body so we can experience all of these things.

You can't give someone a hug over there.

So we come in to do this.

We have just forgotten.

It's called the veil of forgetfulness.

It drops right down when we're born and we forget until now.

Because when you start hearing these truths that I'm speaking about,

You're going to start waking up a little bit more and go,

Oh shoot,

That does feel like,

Is that true?

What if that could be true?

Is there anything inside of you that goes,

Huh?

Maybe that is true.

Maybe it is.

What if it is true?

And why do we then,

Because people will ask me this question,

Why do we then have these lives,

These lives that are horrible in some cases?

Sometimes we're in relationships that are not healthy.

Sometimes really bad things happen to us.

Because the way I understand it is that life is very boring.

Imagine if we came down here and we did not have anything but got up every day,

Ate breakfast,

Ate lunch,

Ate dinner,

Worked in the garden and came inside and went to bed.

Boring.

So spiritual truth tells us that the soul comes down here for experiences,

For soul growth.

It wants to learn contrasted experiences like everything from love to fear.

So if somebody has hurt me or betrayed me,

I want to learn then how do I forgive?

How do I move beyond that?

That sucks.

I don't want to feel that way.

But if I do,

I get to experience that so then I can feel the opposite and experience the opposite.

Yeah.

This is higher spiritual truth,

My friends.

And it's a hard one to swallow.

I remember when I first heard this,

I was like,

What?

But there was something in me that said,

Something about that is resonating.

Something about that is resonating.

We have come down here to experience all of it.

And people would say to me,

Are you telling me that I got in a relationship with someone that was unkind and verbally abusive?

Like that's for me?

And I say yes.

Because you know what that person showed you?

That person showed you where you lacked.

This is not a judgment.

That person has showed you where you might have lacked self-worth and lacked boundaries.

And then that person gave you the opportunity of building up self-worth,

Learning how to erect solid healthy boundaries and leaving.

There's the empowerment that you get to feel and experience.

So I know this is heavy stuff.

It's a hard one.

And I get it.

I absolutely get it.

But perhaps this this might be true.

And I can tell you when I made the decision in my early 30s,

Just 20 some years ago,

To start realizing and looking out into my reality and asking myself,

I wonder why this is happening for me?

And when you ask yourself that question,

Man,

You've got to search.

You've got to sit and go,

I wonder,

Huh?

And you've got to get radically open and honest with yourself and go inside and go,

I wonder why?

And sometimes you don't know the answer immediately.

Sometimes it takes time.

Sometimes it takes a week,

A month,

A year,

Years.

And then you look back and go,

Oh,

Wow.

Now I see.

Sometimes it's really dreadfully hard in the moment when there's death or horrible things that happen.

I can't see the good in that.

I can't see what's positive in that.

I don't see it,

But I wait for it.

So living a soul aligned life doesn't mean again,

It's it's easy peasy every single day.

Sometimes it's really challenging,

But we do start to find balance.

What other the other thing that happens next is I find I have found and I just got off the phone with a friend today that's going through it is that as we progress down our life path,

Which is truly the spiritual path in the life path,

It's the same dang thing.

Let's face it,

We're spiritual beings walking down our path.

So it's the same thing.

But as we're going down our life path,

What I'm seeing and I'm seeing a lot of it,

I just got off the phone with a friend today,

But I'm seeing it all over the place is that people are changing.

We're being,

It's almost feeling like we're being forced to change.

If you guys know what I mean,

There's a lot of light on our planet right now,

Which is forcing us to look at all of our shadow stuff,

All of our trigger stuff.

It's inviting us to change,

To become more of who we are,

To start realizing who we actually are.

And we are these spiritual beings in human form.

So as we go through life,

What happens is the ego part of who we are,

The things were separate,

The things I have a separate identity from you,

And it's just me against you.

And I don't know you,

But Hey,

I'm separate.

And I've got to now maintain from my ego perspective,

I got to fit in.

I need to feel loved.

I need to feel like I belong.

I need to feel all these things.

So I'm going to create all this around me to make sure that that happens.

I'm going to be a control freak,

A perfectionist.

I'm going to be a gossip or I'm going to be a blame or whatever that we do.

We do all that crap.

We all do it.

I do a little bit of it too.

As we go through life,

Though,

We start to heal and transform those things.

Right.

But as that happens,

What happens is the old us can't move forward in life as the new us,

As the updated version of us.

And when we start practicing,

Everything happens and everything in life happens for me.

That's an updated program that we have in our minds,

Right?

So it's in the energy field,

It's programmed.

It's no different than our dang phones.

We update our phones.

We're updating ourselves.

We're literally like robots down here with all these programs and limiting beliefs from childhood.

And as we start doing our personal work,

As we start asking very powerful questions like and doing our trigger work and things of this nature,

What happens is the old us has to transform because our whole perspective on life and our awarenesses and our relationships,

They're going to start to change.

And we don't know how to do it.

Let me say it like this.

The ego does not know how to do it.

The ego does not know how to do it.

The ego,

In essence,

Has to die so we can move forward.

And I remember hearing this when I was going through something really big a couple of years ago.

I kept hearing in my meditations,

I'm out on the kayak hearing the same,

Like almost like a mantra that was coming through me.

You're going through the eye of the needle.

You're going through the eye of the needle.

And I realized what that meant after hearing it for a while.

When we go through the eye of the needle,

It's like you're going through a big transformation.

You can't take the old you with you.

So think about it.

All of you right now listening that are going through something big,

They're going through something that feels overwhelming.

You're going through something terrifying.

Whether it be you're moving or ending a relationship or starting a relation,

Whatever it might be,

You can't go through it if you're doing your personal work,

If you're really working on yourself as the old you.

And that's the only you that the ego knows.

So know that it's okay to feel scared.

It's okay to feel all those things.

But how do we overcome those things?

How do we go through life when we're moving through the eye of the needle,

When we're transforming,

When we're doing all these incredible things?

How do we go through it without so much anxiety and panic?

Because I can relate to that big time when I'm going through big changes in my life.

The thing that has happened to me or for me and what I've chosen and what I've had to learn how to do is to get really comfortable in my uncomfortableness of whatever I'm feeling.

Whether it be sadness,

Whether it be dread,

Whether it be overwhelm,

Terror,

Major fear,

Whatever it is.

Instead of feeling these heavier emotions and then ping-ponging or ricocheting out there and trying to fix it,

I sit in it now and I let these emotions metabolize through me so they're gone.

They literally metabolize through us like food if we're willing to sit in it.

But most humans,

We're not taught how to do that.

We don't know how to do that well.

So as these feelings and emotions are coming down through us or up through us,

Whatever they do,

Let them be there.

Allow your attention to rest upon them and breathe through them.

Get curious about them.

Welcome them.

Another thing that I do when I'm going through something like this is I turn my attention toward the present moment because the part of us that's creating all this anxiety is focusing on the future.

It's looking into the future going,

How in the hell am I going to do that?

That's terrifying to me.

I don't want to do that.

That's scary.

I want to go back.

No,

You don't.

Your soul wants you to keep moving forward,

Right?

Your soul wants you to keep moving forward.

So get in the present moment.

Get in the present moment and it will help you.

So what does that look like?

How do you do that?

Because I can tell you this.

Let me tell you a quick story.

This is powerful.

I remember when I was living in Nashville several,

Several years ago,

And I was going through something like really,

Really like a big decision I had to make.

I was completely overwhelmed.

I was in panic.

I was stressed.

I was definitely moving through an eye of the needle then.

And I'm going for my walk and I'm like,

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do.

I'm so overwhelmed.

I can't breathe.

This is so hard.

Yada,

Yada,

Yada.

I'm walking and then I saw these two cute little squirrels playing on the side of the road.

And I stopped and I looked at the squirrels.

They were so cute and they were running around and running around and then they ran in front of me and they were just really cute babies,

Girls playing.

And then they ran up the tree and it was over and it lasted about 30 seconds.

And I turned my attention forward to continued on my walk.

What occurred to was,

Hold on a second.

I wasn't anxious when I was watching the squirrels.

I actually was perfectly okay and I was experiencing joy and I even giggled watching the squirrels.

How is it possible then that I went so quickly because the squirrels as I'm walking in my state of panic ran right in front of me and caught my attention and I looked down at them and then everything lifted from me.

And then I had to think about what I was in panic about to bring the emotions back.

So in that moment,

I realized,

Hold on a second.

This is the power of being in the moment because those squirrels brought me right into the moment.

And in that moment,

I realized like,

Wow,

There's the magic of being in the moment.

You cannot be anxious if you're sitting in the moment.

You just can't.

The panic leaves.

So if you're feeling overwhelmed and you're learning how to sit in the uncomfortable emotions or learning how to get comfortable in uncomfortable emotions,

Do anything.

Look at your glass.

I have a glass of water.

I'm going to look at my glass of water.

Okay,

Here it is.

I'm going to look outside the window at a tree and I'm just going to look at the,

There's wind right now blowing the leaves under the trees.

As I look outside,

I'm like,

Oh,

Isn't that pretty?

Okay.

And guess what?

I just forgot everything,

Forgot all my stress.

It's just gone.

I'm looking at a tree.

So the more you build present moment,

Micro moments into your day,

The more you will watch and notice your anxiety and your panic start to melt away.

I,

This,

I have to say,

I speak from tons of experience on,

You can't do both at the same time.

You can't be in the future and present at the same time.

It's one or the other.

And what we realize is we have the power to choose.

You know,

Oftentimes our brain just takes over and you know,

The mind just goes,

Oh,

You're,

You need to be worried about this.

And how are we going to do this moving forward?

And you can't leave so-and-so because if you leave so-and-so this is going to happen.

And if you quit your job,

It's like,

Look at the trees.

And when you sit and spend even a few moments looking at the trees,

You're going to find there's a very settled state in space there.

And I noticed when I go there,

I start giggling sometimes like,

I can't believe how,

How stressed I am.

This is ridiculous,

Michelle,

Come on.

And then also what happens when we spend time in the moment,

When we,

When we spend a little bit longer in the moment,

You start having downloads and awarenesses and epiphanies about how to take the next step forward on your path,

When it does feel overwhelming and tragic.

And I don't know what to do.

And I'm,

And I'm,

I'm in total panic.

Suddenly when you,

When you stretch out the present moment,

You'll have more epiphanies.

Watch downloads,

Downloads your soul,

Your spirit guides,

Your angels,

Whomever,

Whatever you want to believe is downloading information because you are creating space for that.

Remember in the beginning,

I talked about the river that's moving through us at all time.

Guess what?

If you create space of quiet of present moment spaces,

You start hearing things from that river.

You start getting downloads.

You start having awarenesses that you didn't have when you're in a state of panic.

Your whole,

Like I said,

In the beginning,

Your whole world really will start to change.

And the last part of this is trust.

So even when life in front of me looks like it is crumbling and falling apart,

We have to dig into trust that there's something bigger than me.

That's navigating this whole show,

The Michelle Chalfant show,

Fill in your name.

There's something bigger than you.

That's navigating your show.

And you're just along for the ride.

Doesn't mean you don't take action.

Doesn't mean you're not involved,

But you wait for the nudges or the prompts from that part that goes,

Hey,

I think it might be time to do this.

I think it's time to do that.

And again,

You hear that and you know that in the present moment state,

Pay attention.

It might come to you in the shower.

I get a lot of stuff in the shower.

I also get a lot of downloads when I'm on my morning walk.

I'm very quiet.

I don't listen to podcasts.

I don't listen to music.

I'm quiet when I walk.

And all of a sudden the downloads start coming.

And now I've just started to voice record them.

I encourage you guys to do the same,

Or I put things in my notes section.

Actually,

I lied.

I have one more thing I want to say.

I had said trust was the last one,

But digging into trust is huge,

My friends,

Huge.

You've got to trust that there's something else,

Some part of you that's much bigger than you that knows what it's doing.

It's an intelligence and it really,

Really unconditionally loves you.

And it's doing this for you to help you to grow,

Shift,

And transform.

The last piece I want to say,

Work your triggers.

When you are triggered,

And I will,

I speak from a lifetime of experience on this.

When you are triggered in order to stay soul aligned,

You've got to look at that trigger that's coming up.

And again,

I'm going to go back to number one.

Huh.

I wonder why this is happening for me.

What is it that's inside of me that's being triggered?

What is it?

There's something in here for me,

Because I got to tell you something.

Every single thing in your outside world,

In your whole reality is simply a projection.

It's like the whole reality is a projector screen of what your thoughts and beliefs are about the world and about yourself.

Period.

End of story.

I was someone that got triggered all the damn time.

Oh my God,

I was triggered.

I blamed everybody.

If so-and-so could just do this and I would be triggered less and that's not okay.

And why did you trigger me?

And all this blame of all these people outside of me in my twenties.

No mas,

I don't do that anymore.

Nope.

I learned how to do really deep shadow work.

And I got to tell you,

It's simplified.

That's not that big of a deal anymore,

But you got to be willing to ask yourself.

The really powerful question is,

I wonder why this is happening for me.

I wonder what's coming up for me.

What belief about myself or the world is coming up.

I'm triggered.

And it looks like that person did it intentionally.

It's actually yours.

This is not an invitation to blame yourself.

It's like we pick up these beliefs typically a hundred percent by the time we're six or seven,

Typically by the time we're three.

So please don't blame yourself.

Don't blame anybody.

It's not about blame.

It's about empowering yourself and go,

I'm going to practice this.

This is interesting.

Get curious about what might be coming up for you and do your trigger work.

Yeah.

It's fun stuff.

Okay.

I believe that's it,

But these are ways to live a soul aligned life.

And I promise you,

I promise you,

Even if you practice one of these things,

Your life will change.

You will have a radical change in your life.

I promise you that.

So I look forward to hearing from you guys.

Let me know how you liked the show today and let me know any questions.

I actually do go in.

I read all the comments and I do answer questions.

So DM me or comment below or wherever you're watching the show or listening to the show and I will get back to you.

All right,

My friends,

Have a beautiful week.

I'll see you right here next week.

Reviews

Wow, so powerful. Very timely for me as I navigate a current life transformation. My soul and ego thank you for the remembrance 🙏 💕

Excellent talk! Very well-articulated. I love your tracks, Michelle. 🙏🏻