491: A New Year Requires A New You

As we step into 2026, I’ve been reflecting on why so many New Year resolutions fall apart and why real change can feel so elusive, even when we want it deeply. After a year of shedding old patterns and facing familiar triggers, many of us are ready for something that truly feels different.

I explore lasting change is not about trying harder or setting better goals but about creating an identity shift from the inside out. When who you are begins to change, your life naturally follows, and this year no longer has to repeat the last.

Transcript

Hello and happy new year.

We made it.

We made it to 2026.

Can you believe it?

I'm not sure about you,

But I got to tell you something.

2025 was a year of,

You know,

This word transformation seems to be overused these,

These days,

But it was,

I mean,

It was a year of so much transformation.

I'm curious if you know,

Or if you've ever heard that last year,

Or actually we're still a little bit in it,

In 2025,

If you follow the Chinese zodiac,

It was the year of the snake,

Which is shedding,

Removing the old over and over and over again.

And that was the theme.

I myself,

I kept saying,

Wow,

There's another trigger.

There's what's,

Why am I experiencing this again?

And what I realized is that we can work,

Do that beautiful trigger work,

But if we don't get that root,

It's going to keep surfacing until we go grab that root.

And that was not just my theme.

I realized in doing all the work with the online courses and the live events and all the things that I did all last year,

And even with my friends and family,

There was a lot that was coming up for every human last year.

So it's exciting to be now stepping into 2026.

The other thing I heard last year is interesting.

I'd be out in my kayak.

I remember last summer and I'd be paddling along and it'd be during something that was coming up.

And I kept saying,

I kept asking,

What is going on?

Why does this feel so heavy right now?

And I kept hearing the same phrase over and over and over again.

And it was this,

You're moving through the eye of the needle.

You're moving through the eye of the needle.

Every time I asked the question,

I kept hearing that.

And I sat with it and I said,

What the heck does that mean?

And here's what I realized.

It wasn't just me.

It was humans in general.

That is what we're doing.

When we move through the eye of the needle,

What that means to me is we're moving from this old self,

The false self,

The self that wears all the masks to fit in.

We're moving through the eye of needle.

We can't take all that with us.

So that's why all the triggers were coming up so we can move through the eye of the needle and become the new us on the other side.

And it's a process.

It's nothing that happens in a day or a week.

It takes time.

So you take that,

Combine it with the year of the snake,

And it makes a lot of sense.

So then we're moving then into 2026,

Which is according to Chinese zodiac again,

It is the year of the horse,

But not just the horse.

It's the fire horse,

Which means it's moving forward.

It's your whole life is going to feel like it's moving forward.

So if you felt stuck in 2025,

Guess what?

You're going to be moving forward.

But the fire horse,

The fire is the key word.

It's a year filled with passion,

Enthusiasm as you move forward.

So if you want more info on that,

Just,

And I think you're going to realize,

Wow,

This makes so much sense now to me as far as what happened in 2025.

And hopefully it will then prepare you for what's coming in 2026.

It's really exciting.

It's actually going to be a really great year.

So,

All right.

So for today,

I thought a lot about this,

About what do I want to talk about in the first episode back in 2026?

And that all the things I just shared to you,

They've been rolling around in my head.

And I said to myself,

You know what?

Every year,

So many of us,

We set new year's resolutions and they don't work.

In fact,

Studies have shown,

I'm sure you've heard this,

But by the third week in January,

Poof,

Those are gone.

They're just gone.

We don't even know what we had intended for that,

For that year on January 1st.

So the question is,

Is how do we truly change these new year's resolutions?

So today,

What we're going to be talking about is how to make a new year's resolution that sticks so that we stop repeating the same year that we had last year and the year before and the year before,

Because that's what happens.

It's like every year we think this year things are going to be different.

I'm going to intend this.

I'm going to make a resolution around that.

Three weeks in,

We are back in the old us.

So here's what I want to say about that.

So I've got about a four-step process for you in order to truly make your new year's resolution stick.

This is the year,

My friends,

Especially when you add the year of the horse to it,

It's going to stick.

What we want to do is,

First of all,

I want to bring to your attention or your awareness that when we want,

And when we want to make a change within self,

Right,

We are actually not just changing things like,

Oh,

I want to become healthier,

Or I want a new relationship,

Or I want a better job,

Or I want more money,

Or whatever the thing is that you want that you're making a resolution around.

The resolution that you're making,

The thing that you want to bring into your life,

The thing that you want to create is actually so much more than resolution.

It's actually an identity shift.

Hear me out on this.

Because when you become that person,

Let's just say that becomes healthy,

The person that drinks more water every day,

That goes to the gym twice a week or three times a week,

Whatever it might be,

That's just not something that the old you does now.

It actually,

What has to happen is internally,

There's an entire identity shift around who you are,

How you see yourself,

How you think about things in life,

In order to become that person that goes to the gym,

That gets in shape.

So think about that with everything.

Because if I'm going to be someone,

Let's say,

That wants a really healthy relationship in my life,

I want to create a healthy partnership.

That's just not something I want.

That's not a New Year's resolution I'm going to make,

Or I'm going to stop eating chocolate,

Or whatever the heck the thing is.

In order to become whatever it is that you are making a resolution about,

It requires an identity shift deep inside of you,

So that then that new reality shows up on the outside.

The reason they fail,

These New Year's resolutions,

Is because most of us make them from what I call chin up.

It's like,

Okay,

Here's my idea.

I'm going to lose 10 pounds,

Or I'm going to get in great shape,

Or I'm going to,

You know,

Get a new job,

Or whatever the heck it is.

It's a great exactly that idea,

But there's no weight to it.

It's not embodied.

It's not in you.

It's not creating a whole identity shift,

So we literally go back to the old us within three weeks.

We can hold that thought at the most for three weeks,

But if we're not shifting internally,

It ain't gonna stick.

That's the truth.

So today we're going to be talking about four things to help you on your way to really truly having an identity shift,

And if you want to go even deeper we're going deep into this concept this month in the Adult Chair Collective.

We're talking about New Year Most Authentic You.

How do you embody the new you?

So I'll put that all in the show notes if you want to check that out.

That's because this is going to be a powerful month there.

All right,

So let's talk about this though.

What we want to do is if we want to change,

You don't need,

Again,

A better resolution.

We really need a new or different internal starting point.

So let's talk about how we make a change,

Okay?

First of all,

Again,

You're not just creating a new you.

You're creating a new identity.

I really want you to understand that is a big deal.

Big deal.

Because the person that picks the healthier person in relationship or picks the healthier friends,

On the inside you're different.

You're not just going to mentally pick these things.

You can't.

You cannot do that.

It doesn't.

Because everything is a vibrational match.

Think about it.

Our current reality is simply just a reflection of what we believe on the inside.

That's our current reality.

So if you don't like what's out there,

You got to change deeply on the inside of you.

That means updating programs,

Updating patterns,

All of these things.

But number one,

What we want to do in order to change these things,

Here's the first one of my four-step process for you.

You want to get really clear about what you want to do.

So step one is create an intentional space.

Think about it.

I'm suggesting an update in who you are.

So we don't want to be doing this one-off thing like that we're thinking about when we're watching a TV show.

We don't want to be doing this when we're in the car.

I want you to take this really seriously.

It doesn't take all day,

But let's create even 30 minutes of time where you get a journal or a notebook and know for those of you that say,

I hate journaling.

This is not about journaling.

I want you to make a list.

Okay.

What I would like to have you do is create an intentional space to get an idea of the new you.

Light a candle,

Get some incense,

Get in the bathtub.

I don't care where you are,

But go where you can be alone.

Go sit outside if it's not freezing.

If you're in Australia,

You might want to be outside because I know it's summer there now.

Wherever you are,

Just go sit in a quiet space somewhere in your home.

Light a candle with your paper,

Put some music on,

Get some tea or hot cocoa,

Whatever it is you want.

But you really want to create the sacred space so you can drop in and connect with your higher self,

Which is what we're doing to help you to get in touch with who is that me that I want to become.

Okay.

So remember,

This is not goal work or goal setting.

We're literally working with your identity.

So create this beautiful space.

Okay.

Number two,

Get clear on who you want to become.

Who is that you?

So when you're in this space,

You want to ask yourself,

Who is this version of me that I want to become?

Who is the version of me that has the partnership,

The job,

The car,

The whatever it is.

You can't get it wrong.

It's your thing.

So what you can do is close your eyes when you're in your sacred space and ask yourself,

You're actually asking your soul or your higher self,

Hey,

Who is this?

And then you're aligning with that.

You like,

I'm going to align.

I want the information to download through me.

And it does.

I have heard this from countless people over the last year or so humans are getting downloads.

We have to be open to this.

Our higher selves are coming through loud and clear more than ever,

But you got to create the space to listen.

You have to create the intentional space where you're listening for those downloads,

For those epiphanies,

For the voices that are coming through for the,

Some people have visions around.

Wow.

I just had this crazy vision,

Create the space to do that.

And then ask yourself that question.

Who is the version of me?

What does this look like?

How does this person carry themselves?

What do they think?

How would they respond to their mother,

Their father,

Their brother,

Their sister,

Their coworkers or whomever?

How do they make decisions?

How does this person speak to themselves?

This is the clarity you have got to have in order to move forward.

Ask yourself some questions.

You can journal,

You can make a list,

Whatever you want.

Here's the crazy thing.

This version of you is already out there.

That's what you're tuning into.

It's just on a parallel timeline,

As they say.

So what we're doing is we're tapping into that version of you and you're literally going to jump into that timeline and become her or him.

It's already happening.

It's already happening.

If you can think of it,

It already exists.

So I know that is too much for my mind.

That's one of those emojis with a mind blow.

I don't even understand it.

But what I,

What I have learned is that everything's happening in parallel timelines.

So go with it.

What if it was true?

What if that concept was true?

And there is a you that is existing in the healthy relationship,

In the healthy body,

In the things that all the things you want.

Think about it.

What is that person like?

Okay.

So we want to start leading from that person,

Right?

Not from the you that's from 2025,

From this new you.

Step three is we want to bring the vision into the body.

So once you get an idea of that person that you are stepping into,

That person,

You see it.

You know,

As I say,

We think about it,

Chin up.

We're creating it.

We're envisioning it.

We are imagining it.

Have fun with this.

It's like watching,

It's like creating your own mind movie.

The next thing we want to do is drop that vision below your chin.

In other words,

Feel it in your body.

What does it feel like?

What would it feel like to be that person?

Try that person on for size,

Right?

It's like,

It's almost like putting on a great outfit and you look in the mirror and you go,

Ooh,

That feels really good.

Try it on.

How does it feel this you?

And when,

When,

And if,

If,

If,

If the thoughts that come up and say,

I'll never have that.

That's not me.

No,

No,

No,

No,

No,

No,

No,

No.

And that right away,

Say,

Thank you.

Goodbye.

Let those thoughts go.

Just go.

I'm just going to have fun with this.

Play with this.

Like a child would play.

A lot of this is engaging the inner child that loves to have fun with this kind of thing.

Using your imagination,

Getting creative with it,

Have fun with it.

But when you are in this,

You,

How does it feel?

Do you feel calm,

Confident,

Supported?

Do you feel grounded?

How does it feel?

Imagine,

Imagine the environment that you're in.

How does that feel?

I've got a version of myself.

I've had a lot of fun with this over the last year or so.

I actually can see myself in this house.

I'm a lot of times when I look at myself,

I'm in this workout outfit.

I have a personal trainer that comes to the house.

I've had a lot of fun with this vision.

I have to say,

And I talk to her,

I will close my eyes and say,

What do you think?

Because what I'm wanting to do is to jump into that timeline.

It is the more you spend time doing this work.

I got to tell you something,

The faster it becomes,

The easier it becomes and you start shrinking time.

So you can become that,

That you,

I can see the house.

I see the driveway.

I see the car in the driveway.

I see the people I'm having over for dinner.

And I'm noticing in my body,

I feel settled.

I feel so calm.

I'm excited.

I'm smiling a ton.

I look out in the backyard.

This is really pretty pool.

Like I've got the whole vision going on in my mind.

Again,

The more I go there and live there,

The more it's been anchored inside.

But here's the key.

If you are imagining and you're having thoughts or ideas that are coming up that are in resistance to that,

That's information for you to work on.

That's what we're working through in the collective this month,

Breaking those exact patterns,

Breaking the resistance,

Working through that resistance.

So work with those parts of you that feel resistant to that.

Okay.

Some of that might be self-worth,

Which is what we just did last month.

So really play with this.

Okay.

It's such an important thing that we're doing.

Remember,

Your inner world is always creating your outer world.

Step four,

We want to lead your thoughts from this place.

So what we want to do is literally align our thinking,

And most important,

Our speaking with that version of us.

Okay.

So when someone says to us,

Hey,

You know,

They say something,

How are you responding?

Are you responding from the 2025 and before you?

Or are you responding from 2026 and after you?

Because let me tell you something,

You've got to be aligning your thinking,

Your thoughts,

And your speech with this new you.

I was speaking with someone the other day,

She's a lovely human,

And she has a very big vision for herself and her career.

And she said,

A very big mission.

And she says,

Well,

You know,

My scarcity thinking,

I said,

Whoops,

Stop,

Pause,

Pause,

Pause,

Pause,

Pause,

Pause.

I said,

Does the you that is here to be a change maker,

That has a really big mission,

Does she live with scarcity?

And she said,

No.

I said,

Then you got to change your speech right now.

These are the things,

My friends,

That only we can catch and change.

We've got to be the ones to do this.

No one can do it for us.

This is the work that we do.

And by the way,

You can make it really fun.

It doesn't have to be hard,

Arduous work,

But it is catching those things.

And what I have found over the years of working with people is that we're very clumsy with our thinking,

Meaning,

Or thinking and our speech.

We allow these automatic thoughts to just come up and then out of our mouth without even thinking about what those thoughts and what our speech is creating out there.

It's one thing to have the thought,

We give it so much energy and power when we speak it.

So that's an example.

And God knows I'm busting myself on this all the time,

A very clumsy thinking.

And I watch myself as well.

So what we want to do is become masters at reframing the thoughts that we have.

Because I have been in the place where I'm like,

Well,

That isn't me yet.

Or I don't have the money that I want right now.

So how do you want me to say that?

And it is,

I say things like,

Well,

I'm retiring from that thinking.

Whatever you want to say.

But that's the old you from 2025.

So when you align with,

And that's the daily practice throughout the day is aligning with that you really aligning with that you,

That is the you that you want to become the you frankly,

That already exists that you are stepping into.

And you will find you will shrink time very quickly.

And you'll be able to step into and become that version of you before you know it.

You've got to align with your thoughts and your speech.

Okay.

This is inner leadership.

Inner leadership.

You cannot create,

Remember abundance from fear.

You cannot create expansion from lack.

Hear me say that.

Most of us want to expand in some way,

Shape or form.

You cannot create expansion from lack.

If you want more in your life,

If you're living with lack mentality,

Or less than,

You're not going to be able to expand.

You have to choose.

So many of us don't realize how powerful just number one,

Having a want is.

So many people I've worked with over the years,

Including myself,

Had to work through this with myself.

Having wants,

There was guilt around it,

Right?

Why can't we want?

What is the big deal around wanting?

It's crazy.

We can have wants,

You can have whatever you want.

But then also,

You got to choose it,

You got to claim it for yourself.

I am worthy of wanting,

I am worthy,

Hello,

Of creating what I want,

Abundance,

Relationship,

Health,

Wealth,

Whatever the heck it is.

You're worthy of it.

Nobody can do that for you,

Though.

And we go outside of self for validation.

Hopefully,

They'll tell me I'm worthy.

Hopefully,

This person or this place will make me feel better.

Hopefully,

I'll get enough likes on Instagram.

You can't rely on anyone outside of you.

If you want to create a new external reality,

It's always on the inside of you that we have to be in really direct contact with and be really mindful of what messaging we are saying to ourselves.

But most importantly,

What's the spoken word we're saying out there in the world.

You cannot create change while staying emotionally loyal to the old version of you.

Did you hear that?

You cannot create change while staying emotionally loyal to the old version of you.

This is leadership,

Friends.

This is inner leadership.

This is what we need to be doing.

Okay?

So change will happen when your identity shifts first.

It's not just one aspect of your identity.

It's your whole identity that's going to change.

Okay?

You have to also address,

Of course,

Emotional patterns.

You can't bypass those.

You cannot ignore those.

You have to stop outsourcing your worth to circumstances or to other people.

And you have to learn how to choose differently under pressure.

Okay?

We have to learn how to regulate,

Stay calm and peaceful when we're under pressure.

That means we might need to take a and then realign.

Your job every day is to align,

Align,

Align,

Align and align with the you that you want to become.

Okay?

It's really not about trying harder either.

It's about leading yourself differently from your adult chair.

When we're in our adult,

We lead with presence,

Awareness,

And we know what's possible and we align.

But if I'm rushing around and I'm worried and this is not going to happen for me and all these things,

I'm back in my adolescent chair.

I'm in the ego mind.

I flipped up right out of my body into my mind.

I've got to bring myself down into the moment.

And that's when I realized,

Hold on,

I think I'm really ruminating about some negative thinking here.

Let me realign into the version of me that I want to become,

That I am becoming.

Okay.

All right.

So good to be with you guys in 2026.

Again,

If you want to go deeper with this,

Come join us in the collective.

Everything is in the show notes.

We are going deep into the adult chair this whole year in the adult chair collective.

So I'd love to have you over there.

And that's all I've got for you guys today.

Have a beautiful 2026.

And my hope and my wish is that you become exactly who it is that you would like to become.

Much love.

Here's to a year that actually feels different.

Happy new year,

Everyone.