485: How To Listen To Your Heart

Today, I dive into one of my favorite topics and one of the most powerful tools we have for navigating life, parenting, relationships, and our inner world. I am talking about the wisdom of the heart. This conversation was inspired by a thoughtful listener who reached out with such a relatable question. Her message opened the door for a deeper look at intuition, sensitivity, and how we make choices that truly honor our souls.

Whether you are a parent or someone who wants to strengthen your inner guidance, this episode will help you understand how to hear your heart more clearly and trust it with more confidence.

Transcript

Hello my friends,

Welcome!

I am so excited because I have a great question that someone DMs me about.

I'm like,

I asked her,

I said,

May I please talk about this on a podcast?

It's such a great question.

It applies to not only parents,

But any human.

If you have a heart,

You're gonna want to listen to this,

Whether you're a parent or not,

Because we're gonna get into intuition,

How do you use your heart,

And also a little bit of parenting stuff,

And even projection.

So we got it all going on in this episode today.

So here is this lovely,

Lovely woman's question.

Her name's,

I'm just gonna use her name as Leah and leave it at that.

She says,

Hello Michelle,

I hope you're well.

I want to let you know how much I love your podcast.

Thank you.

I have a question regarding something I've heard a few times on your podcast.

I really try to be as open-minded as possible and listen to the signs.

As you have said a few times,

When multiple people tell you something that's something worth listening to,

That I need to look at inside.

That can be interpreted as a sign.

So let me just side note there for a second.

I do say that all the time because it's really hard for us to see ourselves.

So when you have someone outside of you say something like,

Hey,

Do you think you're drinking too much?

Or,

Hey,

Do you think you're working too much?

I heard that one from my friends and my family.

I kept hearing it from people and go,

Okay,

I need to pay attention.

If you hear it from one person,

It could be just a projection.

You hear it from multiple people,

Look inside and do a self-check and say,

Wait a minute,

Could this be true?

You've got to get curious about it because it's hard to see what we're doing.

If you hear someone say,

Are you too hard on your kids?

Or are you being too controlling this way or that way?

Again,

If more than one person says it,

Let it pique your interest and say,

Huh,

Is this my stuff?

Let me look at this a little deeper.

So this is what she's talking about.

Okay,

Let's see.

She says,

I'm a stay-at-home mom mostly.

She says I work here and there maybe four hours per week.

My son is two and a half and he is a gifted child,

Which comes with its own set of particulars.

Our activities keep evolving rapidly.

He is very sensitive and feels things deeply.

He's very attached to me and looks for meaning in everything.

He analyzes everything and he has many,

Many interests.

I've not put him in daycare.

It just hasn't felt right for me in my heart and listening to my instincts here is nothing.

Oh,

And listening to my instincts says there's nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home mom and raising your own children.

Two weeks ago,

We started two times a week in daycare for just an hour and it's been very,

Very hard on him.

It's a wonderful place and we've been playing with these kids at the park for one and a half years.

So he knows them.

Since starting this daycare,

He says things like,

Mommy,

You say to me,

You're always there if I need to talk,

But when you're not there,

I can't talk with you.

Do you still love me when I'm not with you?

And he says things like this and more.

Drop-offs are horrible.

He screams and cries and holds a picture of me while he's there.

It's hard for both of us.

He has friends his age that we see regularly,

But he is social,

But only when I'm close.

This is not a problem for me.

I feel in my heart in doing the right thing is to keep him home with me.

It's a special time that we will not get back.

Putting him in daycare does not feel right.

However,

Many people around me tell me that he has to go.

It's better for him to be in daycare.

I have to prepare him for school in three years.

Can you help me look into this and maybe help me see more clearly what is instinct and what is worthy advice?

So again,

Love,

Love this question.

I have so many,

So many things I want to say about this.

Number one,

I want to say this off the top of the,

Just off without a doubt,

The children that are being born now,

After the year 2000,

It keeps the kids that are coming in as souls are more and more and more sensitive.

That means they might have a hard time with feeling,

Like think about an empath that's off the chart.

They're feeling other's emotions.

They're not sure what to do with them.

They might be extremely intuitive or clairvoyant or things of this nature.

They don't do well with loud noises.

They like a lot of alone time.

They want to be with their mom or their dad.

They like quiet,

All of these things.

Think about sensitivity.

It's not a bad thing.

They feel emotions deeply.

Okay.

There are so many children that are being born with this kind of sensitivity.

Again,

It's been happening for hundreds of years,

But more so in an extreme way since the year 2000.

So please be aware of that.

That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your child.

If you hear that your child is sensitive,

It's not a bad thing.

It's a wonderful thing.

It's a superpower,

But they have to learn how to navigate it.

So even if you don't understand it,

Find someone that does understand this to help them to learn how to navigate in the world.

They're going to need some boundaries.

They're going to need downtime.

They might not do well in public spaces where there's a lot of noise,

Where there's a lot of confusion,

Where there are a lot of screaming kids.

They may need more quiet time.

They may need,

Again,

More time alone.

They may need more naps.

Ask your child what they need.

You may not know.

Ask your child,

What do you need?

What do you need?

How may I help you?

Things of this nature.

So I love this.

So this woman has said that many of her friends are saying,

You've got to get your kid ready for school.

He's going to school in three years.

Yada,

Yada,

Yada.

Get him ready.

Okay.

Let's just take a,

Let's take a beat.

He's two and a half and he's having a really,

Really,

Really hard time.

Our brain and our little babies grow so much in the first six years.

It's insane.

From brain growth to physical growth,

Emotional growth,

Mental growth.

If this child is being dropped off and is having an extremely hard time and it feels horrible to you as a mama or a daddy,

In Michelle Chalfant's opinion,

Again,

Unless they absolutely have to go.

Now,

In some cases,

I understand you have to work full time.

This kid has got to go to some sort of daycare,

Mother's morning out,

Whatever it might be.

But if you have a choice,

I'm telling you,

It might be too soon.

And if you have a choice,

It might just be the wrong place.

Maybe if they're really sensitive,

They need a different place.

It's a little bit smaller with not so many kids.

This is where I talk about what feels right for you or to you.

So again,

Whether you have a child or not,

This is the muscle that we want to be working harder than any muscle in the body.

And that's the muscle of the heart.

My friends,

We are wildly intuitive.

And unfortunately,

Over so many years of a human being's existence,

We have learned to go what I call chin up.

And we ask ourselves,

What do you think?

What do you think?

We ask all of our friends and family,

What do you think?

Should I do this?

Should I do that?

All this.

I ask you this,

Drop below the chin,

Drop into your heart center,

And ask yourself the same question.

How does it make me feel?

Not what do I think?

Who cares what we think?

If we can all as humans start navigating from the heart,

It will literally,

And I don't say this lightly,

It will literally change our world.

Get out of the head and get into your heart and start ask,

It is powerful.

That is where our power sits,

My friends.

It's in our heart,

Not in the head.

Who cares how intelligent we are?

What's going on in your heart?

What is your heart telling you?

Let your heart navigate you to that next step,

Whatever your next step is.

So I said this to this woman,

This lovely woman that that had messaged me,

I said,

How does it make you feel?

She's already said,

It makes me feel horrible.

My child is breaking down over here.

Don't push them.

If you don't have to let them stay home with you.

They're two and a half.

Oh my God,

They're two and a half.

They're two and a half.

So that was my advice to her.

I said,

You also want to be mindful of the fact that again,

There are no two humans that are the same.

So maybe her friend's kids did great.

Maybe they went once and they cried and then they were great.

Maybe they had a hard time the first few times and then they were great and they pushed their kids through it.

That's fine too.

What feels right for you?

So I said that to her,

You have to be aware that all of us have our own beliefs and ideas around how we should raise our kids and should we get them ready for school and should they do this sport or whatever that is.

We then project our ideas and our beliefs on other people,

Right?

We've got to be careful of that and really start looking at and feeling into,

Well,

This is true for my kid.

I don't know what's true for your kid.

I have no idea.

So the better question in my opinion would be to say to a friend,

Can you feel this for me?

Should my son,

Is it in my son's highest interest,

Is in my son's highest good to go to daycare one day a week,

Two days a week?

Can you feel that for me?

You can do that with others.

I love this.

So when you're too in your head about it,

And we get this way because we're human,

We want to figure it out in the head.

That's how we're raised,

Right?

But when you start working the muscle of the heart,

You're going to be blown away at what a navigation system is or what a navigation system is,

Our heart is.

And the way you work the muscle of the heart is you start asking yourself these questions.

How does this make me feel?

So how does it make me feel?

How does it make me feel?

Ask your friend,

Can you feel this?

How does that make you feel?

My son going to daycare,

Can you feel that for me?

So what does that look like?

What does that even mean?

You can imagine yourself standing in a very,

Very,

Very,

Very slow-moving river up to your chin and the water is just slowly moving through you and around you.

And you take the idea of the kid,

Whatever your friend's name is,

Your son's name is,

Whomever it is,

And this can be about anything,

Not just about school.

Ask anything.

Should I get this job?

Is it in my head to quit my job?

Should I move cross-country?

Should my child go to daycare?

Whatever it might be.

Picture yourself in this river and you're holding the idea of that thing because it's just an energy.

Let's face it,

Can you hold the thought of your kid going to daycare or taking a new job?

Whatever it might be.

It's an energy.

It's an idea.

So picture a blob of energy.

Take that blob of energy,

Put it in a package or a ball or whatever you want to do.

Just imagine it in front of you.

You hold it out in front of you.

It's a ball of energy and then you let it go.

And this beautiful ball of energy slowly floats right through the center of your chest.

And that ball of energy is the question that you have.

Again,

Is it in my son's highest good to go to daycare?

Notice what happens when that energy moves through you.

Does your body expand?

Does it contract?

What happens?

If you expand,

It's a yes.

If it contracts,

It's a no.

But what we want to do is get our head out of it.

Remove the head.

I always say cut your head off.

I don't care what your head says.

That's our ego.

That's the brain.

And it bases our decisions on the past.

Think about it.

If your son's never been to daycare,

How do you know if it's the right thing?

We go to other people.

We ask them their opinion.

We base it on the brain.

It's like,

Well,

I haven't done it before.

Let me ask someone else their opinion.

No.

Ask.

And it's not to say you can't ask other people their opinions.

But that's true for them.

Maybe they're having the intuition.

Their kid needs to be pushed to go into daycare.

Maybe.

And that could be true for them.

That's the thing.

You have to take it.

Especially when it comes to raising kids.

Each kid is unique.

You look at them as souls.

I have two souls that came right through me.

I am just the vehicle that brought these two kids in.

They don't look alike.

They don't act alike.

They have very different careers.

I couldn't discipline them in the same way.

So throw all the books away.

It's like,

Well,

How am I supposed to do this?

Because this one gets mad and angry when I pull soccer practice away.

And this one over here is excited.

It's like,

Wait,

I thought that's what I was supposed to do.

And it's like,

It doesn't work.

What worked was,

Again,

In no way was I the perfect parent.

I learned a lot over the years,

Though.

I hope to impart some of wisdom on you guys.

What I learned was I had to follow my heart.

What works for this kid isn't going to work for that kid.

So when it comes to parenting,

What feels true for you?

I remember when my younger son had the same scenario come up.

This was my example.

I've used this before on other shows.

My younger son,

He was young to go into kindergarten.

And all the pre-K teachers said,

No,

No,

No.

He's ready.

He's ready.

Send him.

He scored really well on the exams.

He's ready.

He's young,

But he's ready.

He's ready to read.

He's ready to do all these things.

He's ready to start going to kindergarten.

And my whole heart,

When the teachers,

When I said I can still see myself,

It was 20,

Probably 20 years ago,

I sat down with those teachers in preschool.

They said,

He's ready.

And the principal and the director said,

He's ready to go.

You can send him on to kindergarten.

He's going to be great.

And my whole body contracted.

My heart contracted.

Your heart is your navigation system.

It's built in.

You were born with it and you still have it.

You might not have used it a long time,

But you were born with it.

And I sat there and I got in my head about,

I said,

Well,

Why does it feel so wrong?

And I cleared,

I didn't have fear around it.

I said,

I don't care where he goes.

I don't care if he goes back to pre-K or kindergarten.

I don't know what to do.

But my heart kept saying no.

My body kept saying no.

It contracted every time I thought about sending him on.

Then I asked a friend of mine,

Can you feel this for me?

We do this work together.

We've done it for 20 some years.

She said,

Hold on a second.

She took the idea of him going to kindergarten and she ran it through her heart.

It's just an energy.

You guys,

We're energy beings.

Run the energy through your heart.

Get a read on what to do.

She ran it through her heart.

She goes,

Oh,

I'm so contracted.

I don't think he's going to kindergarten.

She says,

What do you get?

And I said,

I get,

I'm very contracted too.

Here's the thing.

You don't need to know why.

Why shouldn't I send him?

That's the ego mind coming in to try to figure it out.

That's going chin up again,

Saying,

Well,

Why?

Why shouldn't I take the job?

Why shouldn't I send my kid?

Why shouldn't I move across country?

I'm supposed to move country.

I'm supposed to take that job offer and it's cross country.

Why is my heart contracted?

Why do I feel so bad?

Because your soul's,

You want to listen to your soul,

Your ego mind.

That's what this boils down to.

Go chin down.

Your soul is directing you and you don't need to know what the end result is,

But I will encourage you to do this.

Follow your illuminated path.

That's your soul path.

You don't know what's coming at the end,

But what you do know are these beautiful breadcrumbs.

It's one stone at a time.

That's lighting up in front of you.

That's the only thing you need to know.

What's next for me right now in this moment?

That's it.

Not in a week,

Not in a year,

Not in two years,

Not in 10 years.

What is the right move for me right now?

What's the right choice?

What moves me forward?

What direction do feels right?

Feel,

Feel,

Feel.

This feels right.

It makes no sense,

But this feels right.

Then do it.

You can't get it wrong.

You cannot get it wrong.

So that is what I shared with this lovely,

Lovely,

Lovely woman and her lovely question.

I said,

You know what?

Follow your heart.

Your answer's right here.

And I really appreciate that you had several people say to you,

Put your kid,

Push him.

He's got to be in school in three years.

Three years is a heck of a long time for a two and a half year old.

They're going to develop so much.

And I would try again next year if,

If,

If it feels right.

If it does not feel right,

Then do not do it.

Let your soul lead the way.

We have gotten so accustomed to listening to our mind and my friends,

It's the ego.

The ego mind is what it is.

And the ego mind does not know about the soul.

This is where we have to rise up and say,

Wait a minute.

My adult knows.

I got to get in my adult chair about this one because that part of me knows I've got an ego mind and I've got a soul and I want to align with my soul because my soul knows best.

And it takes practice to do that.

It takes,

It takes being in the moment.

It takes slowing down.

It takes getting curious,

Like what is going on here?

Let me get curious about this choice.

I don't know what's true for me or my child,

But I want to get really curious about it and slow down and I'm going to feel it.

And the more,

What I have found is over the years,

The more I work the muscle of the heart,

The more my heart opens,

The more connected to my soul I feel.

And the more guided by my soul I am.

And I have made choices in my life,

Let me tell you what,

That made no logical sense.

None.

Remember so many times,

Like,

Am I going,

I think I'm making the worst decision,

Mentally speaking,

But my heart's telling me to do this.

My heart's telling me to do that.

And it didn't make sense.

There have been some choices that my heart was screaming yes at me about.

And I said,

No,

I was afraid.

And fear comes from the ego mind.

And I didn't make choices.

Yep.

And I am looking back going,

Dang it,

But not,

Not with regret,

But more of a learning going,

Okay,

Next time I'm going to listen.

The more we listen to the heart,

The more we open to the heart.

Let me tell you what,

The more source God's soul pours right through you,

And it will guide you.

It is the most magnificent way to live.

And the ego don't like it.

Let me tell you what,

It don't like it.

The ego does not like what the heart has to say,

Because it doesn't know it.

It's not supposed to.

It's not programmed or designed to know what the heart is guiding us to do.

There are two separate things going on inside of us.

But the ultimate thing is that we get to choose which path we follow heart or soul,

Or mind,

Ego mind,

Your choice.

Okay,

There you go.

I hope you guys found this helpful.

And yeah,

This is your practice for the week,

Get smacked out right in that heart space.

And watch how your life unfolds,

Perhaps in a very different way than you think.

Like I said,

Cut off your head and live more from the heart.

And you're going to find you feel so dang empowered,

And strong,

And your decisions are clear.

And the coolest thing is,

The more you utilize your heart,

And the more you bring your attention,

Your awareness down to your heart,

The more it takes over and you start living there quite naturally.

And there and you step more and more and more into that beautiful flow state.

So anyhow,

There you have it.

All right.

Hope you guys found this helpful.

Love you all.

See you guys next week.

Have a good week.

Reviews

This we as beautiful advice!! Thank you♥️