The 7 Keys to Connect More Deeply With Others

Do you feel like there’s something missing in your life? Do you long for a deeper connection with the people around you? You're not alone. We all crave intimacy and belonging, it’s a fundamental spiritual drive. Is it difficult for you to connect to others? Learn how to attract and maintain close, meaningful relationships in your life starting today. From improving communication to deepen trust, these seven keys will help you to develop true intimacy.

Transcript

Let's dive into how do you connect more deeply with others?

The first thing to do is to be conscious of the way you interact,

The way you engage,

The way you relate in your relationships.

How do I relate in my relationships?

So the first key,

Be curious,

Especially somebody new that you have not met.

Be curious versus be critical.

Be curious versus being critical.

It's so easy that ego can always try to find something wrong.

And why it does that is usually when you have low self-esteem,

You don't feel good about yourself.

If you can find something wrong with somebody else,

It makes you feel better,

Which is twisted,

Distorted,

And not what I advise you to do.

But to be curious about the person who's different.

Somebody who's unique and different.

And you know,

When you start any new relationship,

If you want to learn to connect more deeply with them is to be more curious versus critical.

That's the first key.

Be curious to seek to understand,

To seek to learn,

To understand who they are,

What they're all about.

I'm curious about their uniquenesses and their differences.

Yeah,

They think differently than me.

Yeah,

They dress differently.

They do different things.

I'm curious,

Not critical of that.

And if you've been in the habit of being critical,

Catch yourself,

Stop it,

Recognize it.

I'm being critical and stop it.

I'm feeling insecure.

And maybe say an affirmation to yourself.

I am enough.

I am valuable.

I am enough because I'm feeling insecure.

That's why I'm criticizing another person.

And if I can feel enough and feel valuable,

Then I can let go of the criticism and be curious.

The open and curious is the first step to connecting more deeply with others.

The second key is to be understanding,

To be understanding.

You see,

There's two types of understanding.

And most of us understand the first type,

Which is the understanding of the intellect,

The understanding of your thought processes,

Right?

Yeah,

Mikael,

I understand what you're saying.

I get it.

I logic and reason.

It makes sense.

I get it.

I understand.

But then there's a second kind of understanding,

Which comes from the heart.

The understanding of compassion to be understanding is when you bring together the intellect with the emotional nature,

When you can meld and bring those two together,

They create the synergy of a person who's being understanding,

Not just intellectually,

But emotionally at the same time.

And it's a different resonance.

It's an energy that's different than just the intellectual or just the heart.

They need to work together.

You know,

There's a verse in the Bible that says,

As a man thinketh in his heart,

So is he.

What does that mean?

I interpret that as,

As a man thinketh with feeling,

So is he.

Thoughts need feelings and feelings need thoughts.

They work together.

And if you're very intellectual,

Very analytical,

Very,

You avoid your feelings,

Then you're going to be out of balance.

You need to think and you need to feel.

You need to think about your feelings.

You need to think,

What am I feeling right now?

Let me go into my feelings.

Let me understand.

Let me uncover them.

Because that's a big part of your vibration,

Your resonance.

It's a big part of understanding how to manage your own resonance is largely part of what dominant emotions are inside of you.

Are you dominantly angry all the time?

Are you fearful all the time?

Are you loving all the time?

Are you compassionate?

What is your dominant energy emotionally?

Because when you can change and heal and release the anger and change and heal and release the fear,

You open up to create more joy and more freedom.

And guess what?

You lift your vibration to a higher octave.

Love is the highest octave of all.

So being understanding is the second key to unlocking and deepening your relationship with others.

The third key is be willing to be courageous and daring.

Ah,

Courageous and daring.

Yes.

I love to say this.

To consciously move beyond your comfort zones,

Meaning that,

You know,

You know your comfort zones.

To be courageous and daring means I got to consciously move beyond them.

Not to eliminate them,

But to move beyond them.

To be consciously uncomfortable for a little while.

To be consciously uncomfortable,

To say hello first to that person that you have an interest in at work or somebody that you see in the hallway and that you,

You know,

You always avert your eyes.

To be consciously uncomfortable,

To be courageous and daring is so important.

And courage,

Courage is your willingness to respond versus react.

To be courageous means I'm going to respond,

Not react.

To be courageous is your willingness to be wrong in the search for what's right.

Your willingness to be wrong takes courage to be wrong in the pursuit of what's right.

It is your willingness,

Not that you have to be wrong,

But it's your willingness to be wrong.

I'm willing to go into the unknown.

I'm willing to be courageous enough to go into the unknown and to seek and to search to understand.

And it takes courage and daring to get outside of your comfort zones.

That is important when you're wanting to deepen your connection with others.

People admire people who are courageous,

Who,

Who initiate the first hello,

Who decides and says hello and reaches out and acknowledges other people.

And one of the techniques that you can do is to courageously generate your courage and daring start initiating by saying hello to the strangers on the street.

When you're walking on the street,

You're going to the street corner and people are there on their phone or don't just say,

Oh,

Good morning.

Good morning.

Hello.

Good afternoon.

And some of them will respond back and some of them won't.

And that's okay.

But you've shared your energy,

You are courageous and daring to make the first move and to practice that and without any condition of how they're going to respond or not.

I'll do it if they're going to say goodbye.

Hello to me.

No,

Do it out of just sending energy of just being comfortable with sharing your love,

Sharing your compassion,

Sharing your presence with another person,

Even a stranger on the street by initiating conversation.

So be courageous and daring and look at where is your comfort zones.

And when you feel that part of you wanting to hold back and be invisible and shrink because you're afraid of initiating,

You're afraid of being rejected,

Afraid of being humiliated,

Whatever,

Step outside of that.

Show fear that you are more powerful than it is by going beyond the comfort zone and stepping into your fear,

Facing your fear and saying,

No,

I'm going to do this anyways,

Even though I'm afraid,

Even though I'm apprehensive,

Even though I'm anxious,

I'm going to do it anyways to practice being consciously uncomfortable is another way to deepen your connection with others.

The fourth key is vulnerability.

Vulnerability is so important and being authentic and being genuine and people can feel your authenticity,

Your genuineness by who you are.

You know,

My mother used to say it was a little boy.

She used to say who you are speaks louder than any words you can say.

And that is so true and so powerful who you are.

Your presence,

Your energy is speaks volumes,

Your vulnerability,

Your curiosity,

Your understanding,

Your courage speaks louder than any words you can say.

It's helping you to build your presence.

And so vulnerability is being vulnerable enough to be fully present so that you can genuinely connect with others.

That is what vulnerability is.

You know,

We think of vulnerability and the ego in us knows about vulnerability and it often sees vulnerability only as a weakness.

Well,

That is one expression of vulnerability is exposing your weaknesses,

Exposing where you can fall short,

Exposing,

You know,

When people go to war,

They look for the vulnerability of their opponent so they can attack where they're vulnerable.

But the flip side of the same coin of vulnerability is the exposure of your strength,

Of your talent,

Of your beauty,

Of your goodness,

Of your presence.

To share who you are is takes vulnerability and it's an exposure of strength,

Not just your weaknesses.

So vulnerability is an important part of being able to connect more deeply with others.

You know,

When you see somebody who's being vulnerable or they share something vulnerably,

You so admire it in them,

Don't you?

We admire vulnerability in others and we are terrified of it within ourselves.

It's a paradox.

We so elevate and love it when somebody can be vulnerable enough to be real,

To be genuine,

And yet it scares us to do it ourselves.

It takes practice and willingness to be vulnerable.

And when you are,

You're more authentic,

You're more real,

You're more present,

And you're showing the world that you are mastering your fears.

So the fourth key to allowing you to connect more deeply with others is willing to be vulnerable.

The fifth key is to search and seek for the goodness and truth within others.

To search and seek.

When you meet somebody new,

You're introduced to somebody,

You're going to visit your aunt you haven't seen in 20 years,

Whatever it is,

Seek and search for their goodness and their truth to see their vulnerability,

To see their beauty,

To see the courage within them,

To see beyond the physical form,

To see their goodness and truth,

To sense it,

To feel it,

To look beyond the five senses,

To engage,

To connect with another person with the intention of searching to find their goodness and their beauty and their truth.

That is the fifth component and key to deepening your relationships.

The sixth key is be generous,

To give,

To give of yourself,

To give of who you are,

To give of your presence,

To give of your light,

To give of your hope,

To give of your inspiration,

To give of your love and your compassion and your caring,

To give of yourself.

Now there's times to give things,

Give away things,

You know,

Give things to people.

There's times to give up.

There's times to give in.

There's times to give away,

But to give of yourself is an exalted form of giving.

And when you give of your presence and your compassion and your love and your openness,

You become more attractive to other people and you're going to draw people and they're going to respond to you in a more positive way.

So that's another way to deepen your connection with others is to be giving of your presence,

Of yourself,

Of your love.

And one way to do that is the previous step,

To seek and search for the goodness and truth within others,

To be vulnerable,

To be courageous and daring,

To be and have humility is what seeking the goodness and truth is about.

And being generous of who you are,

Giving of yourself,

Giving of your humor,

Of your insights,

Of your love,

Of your wisdom,

Of your beingness that you can't measure,

But that has impact on others to value,

To value who you are as you give of yourself.

Because if you don't value who you are,

Then you're not going to feel you have much worth giving to others.

And that's just not true.

Because having listened to the limited ego self for too long,

Being seduced by their messages of I'm not good enough for me,

You need to move beyond that.

And I teach that a lot in these different classes on here.

So the final and seventh key in the process of opening up and deepening your relationship with others is then to discern and to decide.

Okay,

You meet somebody new,

Right?

Somebody new and you meet them in the class that you started,

You sit next to them,

You want to be curious versus critical.

You want to be understanding to bring the heart,

To be compassionate and understanding.

You want to be courageous and daring to initiate,

To talk,

To set in motion the conversation,

To be daring enough to do that and to be vulnerable,

To be real.

Don't try to be perfect and impress them.

Oh,

I'm going to try to impress them by putting on my world's disguise and I'm going to try to be perfect and they're going to like me because I'm perfect.

That's not true.

You're not perfect.

So be real,

Be vulnerable,

Be yourself and then search for the goodness and truth and be generous by giving of yourself,

Giving of your advice,

Giving of your love,

Giving of your time,

Your attention,

And then to discern and to decide,

Is this a good match to measure the resonance between you and that person?

Is this somebody I want to spend time with?

Do I feel good around them?

Do I feel connected?

Does it feel like it's something that's equally beneficial or do I feel kind of drained or do I feel like this is not the best match because they're,

You know,

All they talk about is this and they,

They all have stuck on the past and they keep regurgitating all the pain of their past and also they want to talk about is how miserable life is.

Yeah,

I'm going to decide and discern.

Is this going to be a good something I want to put energy into is the seventh key to allowing yourself to connect more deeply with others is to decide if you want to maintain this relationship or not.

And it's not bad and wrong if they,

If you know,

Everyone has different frequencies of vibration.

It doesn't mean that they're less than because they vibrate less,

You know,

In the lower vibration.

The whole purpose of growth is to learn to raise your vibration and if they're not willing to raise their vibration,

They want to stay there.

That's okay.

They need to learn lessons at that level of vibration.

It's not about judging them.

It's about discerning and evaluating.

Is this a good fit for the future because who I hang around with and the energy I participate in is going to affect and change you and so you get to ultimately discern and decide.

You know,

There's some people that like,

Oh,

I just want to be friends with everybody.

I just want to love everybody,

Have everybody in my life and be friends with everybody.

Well,

There's a cost to that.

You can respect other people,

But you don't have to be close friends and spend a lot of time with them.

And there are different levels of friendships,

Right?

There's acquaintances that you know,

There's coworkers,

There's acquaintances,

And then there's friends and then there's close friends and then there's your best friends and then there's lovers and then there's partners and then there's relationships and there's all kinds of levels.

But to decide and discern where does this fit?

Is this a person that I want to keep as an acquaintance or is that as somebody I want to move into my inner circle getting closer and closer?

And that's the seventh key,

Allowing yourself to shift and change and be willing to connect more deeply with others.

To prepare by being curious,

Choose to be curious versus critical,

To be understanding,

To be courageous,

To be vulnerable,

To search for goodness and truth,

To be generous.

Those are all preparations so that you can connect more deeply with others.

And if you have difficulty with any of those seven things and to work on them,

Practice that to develop it.

And that's going to allow you to connect more deeply with others.

Reviews

Your talks are always thought provoking & encouraging. Thank you 🙏💗🙏💗🙏💗

Great lessons, thank you so much. I wrote it down and I will surely practice and work on this. ❤️