7 Keys To Healing Your Judgmental Mind

How to let go of being judgmental set and explore the power of dominion. Delve into the potential of your mind by transcending the barriers of judgment. You’ll discover the seven keys to the art of living life without the constraints of judgment, paving the way for a more enriched and open-hearted existence.

Transcript

How to shift from the critical judgmental mindset the first key is so important is to expand the awareness of yourself to become more conscious of Yourself and that self I'm talking about is that self with the capital s not the little s which is your ego stuff Oh,

I know myself.

I am a cry.

I know myself.

I'm an alcoholic codependent schizophrenic bipolar Fill in the blank That's not who you are And you've slapped that label and clung to it because you haven't awakened your true identity The ego wants to be a part of something.

It'll cling to a Label,

And of course there's support groups and you can all hang out together and see I finally belong.

I finally found myself You found your little s you found your ego self But beyond that there's the capital s there's the soul in the spirit.

There's your higher self.

There's your truer self There's your eternal self the ego disappears after this lifetime that your real self continues on and That real self is what I'm talking about to become more conscious of Yourself with a capital s rather than becoming self conscious the little s.

Oh,

I'm so self-conscious I'm so afraid.

Well,

People don't think if people know that I'm an alcoholic codependent bipolar schizophrenic It shuts down your heart it keeps you limited So it's the little s instead of being self-conscious become more conscious of yourself when you truly Open up and expand and are aware of who you are as this majestic powerful spiritual being That's who you are.

You truly get it.

You're no longer self-conscious.

You're no longer afraid of what will people think?

Doesn't mean you're perfect Doesn't mean you don't have issues.

It doesn't mean you don't have challenges It doesn't mean you don't have addictive reactions You're so much more than that.

That's not who I am.

I'm not this limited afraid very Ego-identified self.

I'm so much more.

Yes.

I have an ego.

Yes.

I need an ego,

But I'm not what I do or what?

I've experienced.

I'm not my thoughts.

I'm not my feelings.

I'm much more than that I am this powerful creator and so far I set down my power and I created a world of what it's like to be powerless in this struggle and the pain and I'm like,

Wow That's ugly.

I have learned all those lessons and now it's time for me to take my power back now It's time for me to build a world of abundance and joy and freedom and success and happiness overflowing with reasons to be grateful Rather than reasons to feel guilty That's the first secret It's self-awareness and to begin to become more conscious of yourself.

The first step is self-awareness Anyone can become more aware of themselves And with your critical judgmental mind in place you tend to want to be aware of what's wrong with you And so I'm not talking about self-awareness that leads to self-rejection You've been doing that a lot.

You've got that pretty much handled your challenge now Is to take self-awareness and discover the truth Of who you are not who you've become but who you are That allowed you to become that because you have free will choice As you discover the truth of who you are and you start to see your beauty and your innocence And your greatness that you are as a spiritual being Then you can become more aware of that.

Oh if I admit my strengths and my beauty my goodness,

Aren't I being arrogant?

Only if you give it to your ego and then say that makes me better than everyone around me Then you're giving it to your ego,

But owning your value is essential Arrogance is not a person who feels valuable They feel better than and being better than isn't feeling valuable It's a cheap hit Shortcut your ego says just go be better than everybody else Just have friends who are less than you don't get any friends that are better than you then you'll feel worthless The shortcut that cuts you short Arrogance is a person who lacks value and they're trying to convince everyone around them of how great they are Because they don't feel it inside and they want that outside validation is a form of false Esteem not true self-esteem,

But false esteem The very first key is self-awareness that leads to self-acceptance and to expand the acceptance of yourself by becoming more conscious of self versus being self-conscious Trusting that you are valuable the second key to unlock the judgmental mind the critical mind is to open up and start to look at the energy between good and bad right and wrong because life isn't black and white and The ego part of us.

That's the adolescent ego Wants to make life simple because in your adolescence Hormones were kicking and things were happening and you were feeling overwhelmed And in that overwhelm your ego says let's just make things simple You're either my best friend or my worst enemy You're either a good person or a bad person and here is the challenge of our spirituality is to Know that most of life is a gray area There's very few people that are truly evil and very few people who are saints a lot of us are living in the middle on a spectrum and When you can let go of that black and white boundary that you place in your mind you can begin to dismantle the structure of judgment and replace it with discernment because You see you need a way to make decisions.

You need a way to think and feel and to make trustworthy decisions Judgment doesn't lead to trustworthy decisions.

It leads to decisions,

But not those that are truly trustworthy a Discernment is what you're aiming for.

That's what your soul does.

That's what your higher self your spirit does a discernment is when you consciously think feel Evaluate how this works this person Think feel evaluate and then come up with your decision about this person That is discernment And it might end up being the same outcome The judgment says oh,

I don't like this person.

I'm gonna push them away creates pain You've separate you create pain out of fear and your motivation is out of fear Not the end result the end result might be the same that hey,

I don't want to hang around this person But a person of discernment listens to that person seeks to understand them is curious about them and In so thinking and feeling about what they say and their attitude and how they relate to life They come up with their own evaluation.

Is this a good fit for me and for them?

Is this a good fit?

Well this person in my life helped me to become more what how does it fit into the big scope?

Of life in my life You think you feel you evaluate and then you come up with no,

You know what?

I'm not going to give energy and encourage this friendship or this Relationship to become a friendship because it doesn't feel like it's in alignment with my empowered destiny.

It's not about them It's not about they're wrong.

They're unevolved or this or that they're black.

They're white.

They're Asian They're all the judgments now and that separates but in a way that doesn't create necessarily the pain The judgment would because you're doing it based on wisdom not on reaction You're responding being responsible for who you let into your life Who's gonna be a part of your life where the ego is reacting out of fear and judgments and pushing away and Never giving that person an opportunity And they don't really know that person because they didn't really think about they didn't really feel they looked at them and they came up With a quick judgment simple answer and then shut down communication and push them away and they never really knew the person Does that make sense folks what I'm saying the difference here judgment and discernment?

Because you can't just leave an empty hole and stop judging you will never just stop judging you need to put something in its place you need to do things differently and Discernment is what the spiritual elevation of making decisions come out of not judging That's the second area the gray area either or you gotta let go of that The first key was self-awareness that lifts and expands self-acceptance The second key was the gray area of either or thinking and know that I need to start to discern Rather than judge that's allows you to look at the gray area Not to simply categorize something as good or bad right or wrong black and white quickly without really knowing this person in front of you When a woman comes up to you have a judgment about a woman or a man comes up and you have a judgment about A man and they come up and you you project that on to them You don't know who this person is you're projecting your past and thus you have judged them through projection Instead of humility says I don't know who this person is And yeah,

They look similar to somebody I used to know that did certain things But I'm not going to assume that's what they do.

I'm gonna be in the present moment Has anybody heard about the value of being the present moment discernment lets you be in the present moment judgments steps you back into the past Keeps you stuck in the fear of the past or the fear of the future The fear of what happened to me in the past is gonna happen again,

And this person looks like them So therefore I'm gonna bail or whatever The third key to unlock and set yourself free from this prison of judgmental critical thinking is to understand The twist and the distortion that the dominating chauvinistic Definition of competition has done to your ability to evaluate Okay,

Never said those words before so I'm hearing that for the first time competition to compete has been twisted By the ego in the chauvinism in that false sense of dominating power that says in order to compete I got to be the best I got a win at all cost And I got to get in there and annihilate the other team or whatever it is That's twist of distortion of competition that has been done by the ego that wants to be number one What is the true nature of competition competition is not bad the original purpose of it the spiritual?

Purpose of competition is to draw out each other's strengths Two people are playing chess and they're competing I want to compete against somebody who's equal or better than me right to challenge myself to become more I don't want a third grader who's never played chess.

That's no fun Doesn't challenge me,

But I want to compete with somebody to draw each other's hear that each other's strength So that when we end this chess game both of us have become more we've learned we've grown we've evolved one of us is gonna win But it doesn't mean that's the only one who got any value from this game But when you believe that winning is good and losing is bad judgment Then you don't learn the lessons and you don't really improve that much And if you let go of that competition in that twisted distorted idea that we've all bought into in our world The original Olympics came together and was founded in the Greek Isles about the true nature of competition Let's come together and draw out each other's strengths and all of us grow as a community We become more not top dog and I got a beat where competition now and boxing is biting off another opponent's ear that's the hostility and the Degradation that has happened from the ego and domination that has to be number one at all cost That is the twisted competition,

But I'm here to say you need to restore your relationship to competition Competition can draw out your strengths It's important to quote compete to become more and to help another person to grow and become more With competition comes what is natural to human beings in the mind is to compare yourself to another person See comparing yourself to another person isn't bad and wrong Yeah,

We're different.

We're all unique individuals There are certain things that my partner has that are strengths that I don't have and there's certain things that I have That he doesn't have that doesn't mean I'm better than or he's less than we're different and that's a beautiful thing We can lean upon each other's strengths and weaknesses and we can help us to grow together That's what it's all about It's not a black and white either or in comparison is naturally we're here to compare why?

So I can be better than and I can by always looking at who's less than me and what can I judge about a person?

That's wrong.

So I can feel somehow a false sense of esteem and feel better about myself.

That's the twisted idea of comparison Comparison is can I see their uniqueness?

Can I see their beauty and their individuality?

I want to see the unique individual that this God being is in front of me It doesn't eliminate or degrade my own It's different.

There's no one like me.

There's no one like you.

There's no one like any of us.

We're all unique Individual expressions of God.

God is all that is There's no need to feel somehow less than unless you decide in your mind that you have to be better letting go of Competition and changing and lifting it to what it truly means is to come together and to strengthen each other To challenge each other to grow and guess what?

Within challenge you become more and you feel the joy that competition can produce in you And you can feel the growth and the strength and the value even hear this even if you don't win Even if you don't win You lost that set but look what I learned about myself and look how I stretched myself to become more so that the next time I play I'm gonna be even better because of that game that I lost as an example That's the third is to shift and lift competition into what it truly means to draw at each other's strengths And yes comparing yourself to another person is a human nature But it could be to compare our uniquenesses What makes us unique?

Rather than what makes us different see different has this set sense of separation to it,

Doesn't it?

You're different than me Yeah,

That's true,

But you're unique You're uniquely you and I'm uniquely me and yes in those uniquenesses.

There's difference Let me Explore and compare and see the beauty in others not compare just what they lack that I have better But let me see what they have even more than I do that I can grow and be inspired by here that be inspired by maybe becoming more because they have this strength and I don't and I hanging around them all of resonance and being around them and being in their vibration is gonna help me to become more like them In their strengths and they can become more like me and my strengths we can balance each other out Rather than judge each other and separate and compete and compare and create pain and ultimately negativity I'm a tennis player and I love to play tennis and I love to win but I love the process of Competing with somebody who's even more than me and it's scary at first but it's like it draws out the strength I really appreciate them and working with them and I get inspired by them When you have this feeling of unworthiness Then you become jealous of other people you become envious of them instead of inspired That's the putrefaction of that judgment that the ego holds That's the third key fourth key To unlocking the judgmental mind is you got to heal your adolescent the adolescent part of you you all done inner child healing I'm sure or you know about it at least and you have the tools and the resources that you can do inner child Healing and I highly recommend you start there.

Don't start with the adolescent It's a little bit more tricky to handle than your inner child Your inner child is much more open to receive love and be loved and be connected If you haven't done the inner child work do the inner child work if you don't know how to do it There's lots of resources.

You can go on to insight timer I'm sure there's people have done lots of meditations on insight timer or different classes on it.

Check it out Once you got the inner child in a position that is safe and connected no longer Conforming you're that conforming inner child,

But now that inner child is free to be itself Then you lift and shift to start understanding your adolescent the adolescence more complex than the inner child That's where your judgments began little children don't have judgments.

They take everything That's why you take in all these beliefs that were given to you.

You don't judge them You let them in and you adopt a lot of beliefs that weren't for your benefit,

So to speak But you also let in a lot of beliefs that were so it's not either or it's both But as you grew he started to compete and compare and you started making judgments as you move into seven eight nine ten Perhaps even earlier six but mostly as you get a little bit older you start to go into judgment So the adolescent part that is panicked adolescence are panicked the unhealed Adolescent is panicked.

That's a lot of a resource for what a lot of your anxiety comes from is an unhealed inner adolescent This is the fourth key.

I don't have time to tell you exactly how to do it But know that's something that's gonna help you to shift out of the judgmental mindset if I had time I'd go into it But that's another hour discussion But looking at healing your inner child start there and if you haven't if you haven't done that if you have and connect with your adolescent between six and say 13 and that age range what happened talk to that part and how did that part of you feel around judgments comparison not good enough all those things and go back Reconnect talk to them and begin the healing process.

That's the fourth key To shift out of the critical judgmental mindset.

I Want to mention real quick.

There's a couple of free audios on insight timer that will help you with this process There's a free audio.

I recorded called a little bit of a story about a little girl That will help you with this process there's a free audio I recorded called aligning with your inner power and strength It's free.

You can listen to it on insight timer.

Another one is accelerating healing and well-being accelerate healing and well-being There's some clues to understanding the nature of healing which is wholeness Those are both free on insight timer how to forgive yourself for past mistakes is something I'm going to recommend The second one is relationships that thrive versus just survive.

That's another premium plus on insight timer The fifth key to shifting out of the critical judgmental mindset is you need to develop self-esteem?

Self-esteem is abandoned in our adolescence in our adolescence We tend to want everyone's approval and their praise their validation and we repress and we stop Validating and valuing ourself to try to get it from others And in that we develop false esteem That in order to feel good about myself I have to get people to pat me on the back and tell me what a good person another I have to bend over backwards I have to sacrifice and suffer and go out of my way to do things for people so that they will finally love me and Value me that's false esteem There's nothing wrong with doing those things but not when you're trying to get something in return get validation to get them to value me to get the value that I haven't developed in myself and Therefore when I do that,

It's temporary meaning it has a very short shelf life.

Oh,

And I finally got their approval I finally got their praise it lasts about 30 seconds Maybe up to a minute depending on if it's a big job promotion might even go to a couple hours But then you're back down to feeling valueless because I don't have my own.

I need other people to do it for me I refuse to take responsibility to admit my own value because of my egos games So I got to go out and start performing and auditioning and doing everything for people to get their value to get them to value me It's this endless hamster wheel that leads to stress anxiety frustration and pain eventually into self-destruction Because I haven't learned What true esteem is I?

Haven't learned what self-esteem is Self-esteem is essential on your spiritual journey.

It's essential to experience self-love and confidence and respect but if I don't have Self-esteem I have false esteem instead then I'm in a sufferance now again I don't have time to go into all the components But I'm gonna give you a quick foundation of what you can do today to begin the journey of self-esteem Let me tell you the foundation Self-esteem is the love that you generate that you earn by The way you live your life Day in and day out based upon the principles I hold and the character Self-esteem a person needs self-esteem to be successful in life period there's no question about it Otherwise the person can get temporary success that ends up crashing and burning them and it ends up being an ugly situation Self-esteem is having principles I'm gonna suggest a few principles that are the foundation the principle of being honest to be honest with myself and others The second principle is to be responsible being willing to respond to what's happening in my life meaning to take Responsibility instead of why is this happening to me?

How about what can I learn from this happening to me?

What am I here to learn from this happening?

What is it here to teach me not why me God poor me?

What can I learn from this is what a person with self-esteem does person with false esteem feels like it's a victim and Truly they become that because they create their own reality The second component of the foundation for self-esteem is responsibility.

Am I willing to respond to me in my life?

Am I willing to be responsible for what happens in my life rather than blame?

Rather than blame And that's the principle you either have or you don't have and the third one Is to have a sense of trust and trustworthiness Can I trust myself today?

I went through this day and at the end of the day I looked back at everything that happened because that's what self-esteem is.

It's a self evaluation It is the way you evaluate yourself And the way you function in the world today at the end of the day was I honest and responsible and did I trust myself Did I trust that things would fall into place did I trust myself even though I didn't know what was gonna happen How I was gonna fit together and then I start to trust others and then I start to be Responsible for others and also allow myself to be honest with others and when I do I can feel good about myself I can feel Valuable because of the way I engaged with life and we are always Evaluating ourselves whether you're conscious of it or not.

Your subconscious mind is always evaluating how you live your life and Whether or not you're trustworthy if you're dishonest and if you're irresponsible And if you're playing games,

And if you're not trustworthy You're not gonna let yourself receive the good stuff in life And then when you do let good things in you're gonna feel guilty instead of gratitude but when you can shift and say I'm gonna build and base my actions today on my Principles and even though it would have been a shortcut and easier for me to tell a lie Even though it would be easier to be irresponsible I'm gonna choose to do the right thing because it is the right thing for my growth For my soul for my spirit where I can now begin to become Trustworthy for my own self and trustworthy of others towards others self-esteem It's a journey and there's a lot of substitutes because you need a steam to get through life So if you don't have genuine self-esteem,

You will replace it with false esteem And there are seven different things that I'll time to go into there But just know that if you feel this is on target with you Go check it out.

Listen to the course or find ways of developing your self-esteem.

There's probably other courses out there I don't know of any off the top my head to share with you but Develop self-esteem is a fifth one because it is the lack of self-esteem It is false esteem that keeps the judgmental mind alive keeps the criticism because you see I don't value myself So I can't value other people.

I don't value myself.

I feel unworthy and not good enough I've got to get everyone's approval and praise And I go into judgments That I'm not good enough first of all and Telling myself lies that the lie that I'm telling myself is that their approval is somehow going to make up for the lack of my own That's the fifth key the sixth key The sixth key is owning the unlovable parts of yourself Meaning to know that you have weaknesses and there are things that you've done in the past that you're quote ashamed of There's things you've done you might have an ego that does things that pulls the rug out or that Sabotages you or does other things I've tried to control that I've tried to repress it I've tried to hide it from people so they don't see it In other words,

I've tried to dominate that part of me and yet it always seems to fall apart I end up back where I started Love is the answer Love is the answer you've heard that so I'm not the first one to say it by any means But loving the unlovable parts of ourself,

Oh Mikael that sounds too difficult.

But what does love do?

Love pays attention to detail.

That's one thing that loved us Love pays attention to detail And love seeks to understand.

I have these unlovable parts of myself that I have quote judged as Unlovable doesn't mean they're unlovable.

That means I've judged them as unlovable I've shamed myself with what happened to me my behavior my experience my egos games Whatever I've done that I'm ashamed of and I decided I was unlovable Now if only they knew what I did in my past it begins by paying attention instead of ignoring it hiding it denying it repressing it And when you can start to understand,

Yeah,

There's parts of me that are hurt in pain.

That's why those parts are there What is pain?

It's a separation and a longing for love All pain comes from separation and longing that stretch of being separated from and longing for creates pain When someone dies in your life that you care about you love they're no longer around physically You feel that separation and in that separation and longing for them to be back in your life.

There's pain grieving loss So loving the unlovable parts of ourselves is that though that I've judged these parts as unlovable I need to stop it and shift it into these parts of myself that are quote unacceptable are in pain are Wounded and they perhaps need the most love for me than any other part of me.

I've ignored and denied them I've shamed myself and I've kept the pain alive by judging the unlovable parts of myself And when I become strong enough I can choose as a spiritual being I can stop judging and start understanding and I can start to shed the light of my love onto them and Seek to understand and heal the unlovable parts of myself so that I can integrate them back in as a valuable part of who I am That's the sixth key How to shift out of the critical judgmental mind is to love the unlovable parts of ourselves the final seventh one is Journaling in order to really understand yourself.

You need to self-reflect That's why we have an ego and a truer self in order to self-reflect You need to understand and you need to think and feel you need to evaluate and discern So you need to self-reflect you need to take time to pause Push in the clutch to go into solitude somewhere by yourself and Get a legal pad and right at the top me and my judgmental mind Own it.

I have a judgmental mind a part of it.

Not all of it.

And let me journal about it When did it begin?

Let me start writing about when did I start getting into judgment?

When did I start competing and comparing when did I start rejecting myself?

When did I start feeling there's parts of me unlovable what happened in my childhood in my adolescence?

Let me start journaling and revealing and shedding light into the past shedding light into where the origins of this emerge and Journaling exercise can help you do that As I mentioned as a young child you weren't that judgmental it wasn't until only five six seven eight that you started to And look at that Journaling exercise and look at perhaps not just in the childhood.

But how are you doing it today?

How do I judge other people Every time I'm feeling jealousy envy and ultimately feeling of powerlessness I'm in a place of judgment Every time in any time that I'm wanting to be understood by others and not being willing to be understanding towards them I'm being in the judgmental mind When I do something and say something and I don't I'm getting uncomfortable in a conversation I'm feeling vulnerable in a conversation and I do or say something that shuts down communication You're judging me and you storm off the room.

That's a judgment.

You don't get who I am.

You shut down the communication You're just being selfish.

You shut it down.

You break the communication anytime your egos attempting to shut down Communication out of fear of being vulnerable You're in a place of judgment when you can begin to understand that's just a part of the immature Ego inside of you that needs love and understanding in order for it to mature You can't kill your negative ego.

You can't get rid of your immature ego You need to understand it and how it can move out of its quote negative And that's why I don't like to call negative ego most of you on here No,

I rarely use that term,

But it's a common term online.

It's not negative.

It's immature It needs more love.

It needs more healing It needs more maturity so it can no longer be in a position to be your quote liability but then can become an asset that can co-create because you do need an ego and Negative and positive ego are judgments and Your ego gets arrested and stuck in the pain of the past in its own judgmental mind loop And that's where all the negativity comes from So journaling about your judgments,

Journeying about the critical mind,

Journeying about your adolescence phase,

But also how am I doing it today?

Now this doesn't have to be one journaling session,

But to focus your journaling upon those So that would be another way for you to shift out of the critical mindset is to know yourself the self-awareness In that very first step self-awareness that become more conscious of self versus self-conscious That was the first key to the seventh key,

Which is a reflection of that How am I gonna become more aware of myself journal exercises help you do it?

Number seven the seventh key start journaling with the intention hear that When you go to journal just don't start writing stop and write it at the top me and my judgmental mind Why because I'm giving my mind to focus.

This is what I want to think about And I'm setting my intention.

I want to understand it so I can begin to heal my judgmental mindset That's why I'm doing this.

It's not just a way for me to feel bad about myself It's about a way for me to heal and to become more The second step the gray area the either-or thinking remember that they let yourself have the gray area Either or thinking is I'm lovable or unlovable.

That's the sixth step loving the unlovable parts of ourselves So the sixth quote key relates to the second key of the either or gray black or white or gray Area of your life.

Let it be gray area let yourself stop thinking that you're somehow unlovable and start to learn to love and accept those unlovable parts of yourself as a second and the sixth key the third and the fifth competition in comparison to shift that definition and To know that comparison is part of life But you can compare with an open heart to see their uniqueness and to be inspired by them not to be shut down and feel less than them competition comparison ties into the fifth Self-esteem when you have developed your self-esteem you can then lift the competition out of the old immature egos Definition of domination and you can lift it into Dominion Where it is there to draw each other's strengths and I'm going to become strong on an emotional mental level through self-esteem That I am valuable whether I win this game or not And I don't need the validation of the crowd and be the number one winner It's fun to have and yes,

I would like to have that but it's not essential for my self-esteem so self-esteem the fifth and the third and in the middle sits by itself and the fourth key is to heal the Adolescent do inner child work heal the parts of your past.

Those are the parts that are fueling You today and if you can heal those parts,

There's less of their powerlessness in your consciousness today You heal those inner child you heal that adolescent and you become more Those are the keys of how to shift out of the critical judgmental mind So that you can function day in and day out with high self-esteem With an awareness that I'm no longer self-conscious,

But I'm conscious of who I am you can shift and lift out of judgment and When you do you're gonna live a life so much more in your grace and you're gonna feel And know just how powerful you've always been and that you are becoming more and more of each passing day Thank you so much.

And until the next time our paths cross.

I hope you got some value from today Take care,

And I will see you on here in the near future.

Bye now

Reviews

Many great insights to self-reflection and healing. Thank you.

Excellent ! Your talk provides the tools & steps necessary to work on the things that are limiting my growth. I love that your talk is straightforward. Very pleased I found this and look forward to listening again as well as checking out your other offerings. With gratitude, Bev

Excellent talk and given in spiritual love for the support of another. Thank you.

Thank you as always. I grow every time I listen to your sessions. This one has particularly resonated this morning. So very grateful that you share your wisdom to help many in their journeys 🙏💗🙏💗🙏

Incredibly insightful! A wealth of knowledge, I’ll be listening to this a few more times and taking notes. Thank you! 🙏🏻🥰

I'm so glad I found you on Insight Timer! Thanks so much, this is good stuff.