In this meditation,
We'll use Rumi's poem,
The Guest House,
To help us open our hearts to our more difficult emotions,
And to open the door to feeling more fully alive.
Here's the poem.
This being human is a guest house,
Every morning a new arrival,
A joy,
A depression,
A meanness.
Some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all,
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
Who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture.
Still,
Treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought,
The shame,
The malice.
Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
Because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
Most of us believe it's better to be comfortable than to feel everything there is to feel.
But this belief keeps us numb and afraid of life.
Rather than feeling fully,
We settle for feeling half alive.
Emotions show up in your life like houseguests.
Most of us think we can pick and choose which emotions we get to feel.
We tell ourselves that we don't want to feel sad today,
Or we don't have time to feel tired,
Or that we can't afford to feel anger right now.
You may have noticed that when you don't let certain emotions in,
They don't go away.
They linger.
If you only allow some of them in,
The ones you exclude will pile up at your doorstep.
If you don't let in anger,
The anger will intensify and become rage or turn into depression.
If you don't let in sadness,
The front of your house will be a place of growing grief.
Each day,
More guests come.
As they accumulate,
It gets louder and your porch starts to strain under the weight.
You're under increasing pressure.
A heaviness hangs over your head.
The very health and integrity of your home is in jeopardy and you feel the stress.
This being human is a guesthouse.
Every morning,
A new arrival.
A joy,
A depression,
A meanness.
Some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all,
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture.
When was the last time you felt sorrow or a crowd of sorrows?
Some kind of sadness or grief?
When was your last experience of disappointment or loss or heartbreak?
When we turn down the noise of negative voices in our heads,
These unwanted guests on our porch,
We also diminish our capacity to hear what we'd like to hear.
You can't just numb unwanted emotions without also dulling your senses to the possibilities of greater joy and happiness.
If you plug your ears to dampen the construction noise from outside,
You'll also miss the soft and endearing words of your lover.
You might avoid feeling bad by turning to food or your phone or keeping yourself constantly busy with work or shopping or exercise or some other distraction that allows you a temporary escape,
But it doesn't last.
When you ignore them,
They beat at your door and create the persistent feeling that the house of your life is under siege.
If you don't respond,
Your stoop will collapse or they'll break down your door.
But there's another way,
A more courageous way,
A way that changes these difficult emotions into valuable gifts that you actually need.
Rumi reminds us,
Still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought,
The shame,
The malice.
Meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Hold on a minute.
Doesn't this sound crazy?
Why would we want to laugh when we meet our dark,
Malicious,
Or shameful thoughts?
Why would we want to invite them in?
What does this mean?
Most of us have no idea how to feel all of our emotions.
Rumi is speaking to this.
It's likely you were never taught how to allow darkness a place in your life.
We were taught to smile when we were sad,
To stop crying when we were hurt,
To not show vulnerability,
And to keep working and pushing when we felt tiredness or exhaustion.
We have so many forces telling us that we have to be good and that the right thing is to banish the dark thoughts from our minds.
Our parents modeled this for us because they didn't know any other way.
When we experienced shame or heartbreak or disappointment,
We were taught things like,
Don't dwell on it or stay positive.
And so we push our dark thoughts away and we tell ourselves we can outrun them or overcome them.
But we can't.
They follow us and they haunt us until we finally get tired of running and realize there is nothing left to do but to let them in.
When we finally do,
Why not laugh?
Isn't it amusing how as much as we try to outrun our darkness,
It just keeps finding new and unexpected ways of showing up at our door?
What might happen if we relax about this and have a good laugh at ourselves when darkness comes to pay us a visit?
What might happen if we realize that these guests have been there all along and we welcome them like an old friend?
What are your dark thoughts?
The ones you wish would just go away.
The secret thoughts you haven't dared share with anyone.
Have you had thoughts of hurting yourself or of leaving this world?
Do you believe that you deserve to suffer?
Do you have an inner critic who berates you,
Tells you you're not enough or that you're too much and that you should be ashamed of yourself?
We all deserve a safe place where we're allowed to see these thoughts without fear of judgment or rejection or banishment.
When you welcome them in,
You open your heart to the possibility of an experience that's not only different but remarkable.
You can muster the courage to see things differently.
Open the door and give up your need to control what will happen next.
Close your eyes.
Call to mind something about your life that's been hard for you to accept.
It might be something about your career or a relationship or a specific incident or situation that bothers you.
Something that makes you uncomfortable.
Something you don't like to think about.
You know now that ignoring them doesn't make them go away.
You've been trying to hold them at bay for so long to keep from feeling the discomfort they bring,
But nothing works.
You're tired of the pounding at your door.
You're ready to stop fighting.
Walk over to the door.
Take a deep breath.
Open the door and invite them in.
Acknowledge them by name.
These things that you're angry about or sad about or this general feeling of anger or sadness or despair that you've been reluctant to allow in.
Take an interest in them.
How do they look?
Are they as scary as you imagined?
Do they seem angry or just afraid?
Know that they're relieved because you've let them in.
Ask them to sit down.
Take their coats.
Attend to your house guests without an agenda.
Don't push for anything to happen.
There's nothing wrong that needs to be fixed.
There is something they've come to share with you and there is a greater purpose to this visit.
But you mustn't hurry this along.
They'll offer their secrets to you in due time.
For now,
Simply allow them to stay,
At least for the remainder of the meditation.
Let them settle in and feel you're welcome.
Walk slowly over to a window and let in some fresh air.
Breathe deeply.
There's nothing you need to get done right now.
Let's sit together for one minute now in the silence of this allowing.
Notice how it feels to welcome these difficult thoughts and emotions.
Notice if there's any sense of calm or a new spaciousness in your body.
Do you feel a small relief that the banging at the door has stopped?
It's okay if you don't.
Maybe you feel anxious or afraid.
You might feel tense or impatient.
Whatever it is,
Your job is just to notice it.
If one of your guests feels confusing or chaotic,
Like it needs to run around the room and knock over some furniture,
Let it.
If you feel anger or sadness or a sense of loss,
Witness it.
If you feel afraid of what might happen next,
Let yourself feel it.
Allowing these emotions time and space is to treat them honorably.
And in honoring them,
You allow them to show you who they really are.
There's old pain here.
You may need to yell or moan or cry.
The greatest courage is to keep your heart open no matter what you're feeling.
This is the magical place.
The place of allowing.
This is the place where you surrender your need to control and where you become open to witnessing the deepest aspects of yourself.
This is the place where you're the most real and the most alive.
You haven't welcomed your difficult emotions very often,
But trust that each time you do,
Your guests will reveal a gift of healing that will expand you.
You can recreate this place of welcome as often as you like.
The secret to living a deeply fulfilling life is to invite all of life in.
To feel as much of it as you can.
To let life work on you.
Let's prepare to conclude our visit.
Even if it feels awkward,
Thank your guests for coming.
Then acknowledge yourself for the courage it took for you to stop,
To invite and allow,
And to give thanks for blessings you don't yet understand.
Know that your courage to feel them and to let them flow into your life is the very thing that will allow them to work their magic and to change your life for the better.
We'll bring this meditation to a close now.
If you're inspired to continue,
Please do so.
Know that each time you open your heart,
You open yourself to the miracles of healing that are waiting just outside your door and waiting to flow into your life.
