Hello.
This is an essay by Maggie Stevens entitled,
AND Human brains love matched sets.
Black-white,
Addition-subtraction,
Happy-sad,
Left-right,
Either-or.
Life seems easier if you can just pick from column A or column B.
This preference,
However,
Can lead us into both othering and simplistic thinking.
With dualistic thinking,
We can believe that because we hold one idea to be true,
That nothing else can be true.
We may decide that where a person lives,
Or what they drive,
Tells us all we need to know about that person.
We can complete the puzzle and not need any additional information.
As a sting lyric reminds us,
There is no monopoly of common sense on either side of the political fence.
As you no doubt have noticed,
The media has exacerbated this tendency,
Creating echo chambers that reverberate with similar messages.
We cling to our version of the truth as if anyone else's idea leaves us with less.
We believe all life is a zero-sum game.
We can only be right if everyone else is wrong.
Our society isn't the first,
Just the latest,
To cling to our beliefs.
Our ancestors have been warring since they walked out onto the savanna.
We only differ from them in the destructive degree of our weapons and the megaphones of our social media.
There is an alternative.
Instead of this or that,
We could think this AND that.
It is possible that I believe this AND you believe that.
You and I may have two different ideas about how to solve a problem,
And both could work.
When we try thinking AND,
Conversations can become Venn diagrams with more possibilities in the widening and overlapping centers.
If I spend more energy trying to find common ground rather than proving I'm right,
There is more fertile ground for new ideas to grow.
Finding common ground requires both parties to listen in order to understand rather than to respond.
Following entrenched habits,
We are so eager to jump in and give our opinion that we often don't even let the other person finish their thoughts.
We can replace habitual,
Unskillful thinking with more skillful thinking by raising our awareness of these either-or habits.
A good place to begin is in the body.
When someone is sharing an idea that you don't agree with,
What's happening in your body?
Is there a knot in your stomach?
Do your hands clench?
Can you feel the words in your throat just waiting to pour out?
Bodies can react as if there is a physical danger and respond with a cocktail of fight-or-flight hormones.
When you feel these reactions in your body,
Can you take a moment to breathe and calm yourself?
Each time we enter into a conversation,
There's an opportunity to create connection.
Every person wants to be safe,
Happy,
And healthy.
The trick is reminding ourselves of that fact and remembering our goal of common ground.
For the next week,
Every time you think,
BUT,
Try thinking AND.
I invite you to be curious and surprised.
I appreciate that you took the time to listen.
If you like,
You can follow me on Insight Timer,
Then you'll be notified when I post additional meditations and talks.
You can also check out my blog at www.
Metamettamindfulness.
Com Thanks again for listening.
