Who Is The One That Feels Guilty When Doing Nothing?

If we are constantly moving and doing, then we never slow down long enough to see what is really happening - how we are being controlled by the illusion of our egos. But then, when we eventually do stop and do nothing, the ego comes in another back door - this time disguised as guilt. Because the guilt is so uncomfortable, we go back to the doing and never see what is really happening. If we can't see this cycle and what is really going on, we can't break free.

Please note: This track was recorded live and may contain background noises.

Transcript

Oh,

Raz,

Good point.

It's harder to be than to do.

Yeah,

It's hard because we're so associated,

We so associate the ego with the doer,

The one that's doing.

And if I can just keep doing things and keeping myself busy as well,

Right,

I can stay a little bit ahead of it.

But being,

Being means we have to look.

Oh,

Now I have to look and see what all these spiritual teachers have been talking about.

Now I have to look and see what's happening.

But then the thoughts come up and it's like,

Oh,

Now I'm going to go with the thoughts again.

It's a little bit uncomfortable.

It's a little bit uncomfortable in the beginning.

Because the ego is so convincing.

It doesn't want you to sit and be.

It doesn't even want you to do without the doer,

You know,

It wants you to do it with it.

Right,

We are accomplishing something,

We are getting to the other side of this,

As opposed to just the doing.

Right,

So just being mindful of those,

Those thoughts.

That doesn't mean we can't be doing,

Or we can be being,

But just noticing that agitation.

And even in just the like sitting and doing nothing.

And I think that's a good practice for everyone to do every day,

A few minutes,

Five minutes,

10 minutes of sitting,

Not sitting in meditation,

Of just sitting and doing nothing.

Still meditating,

Maybe after your meditation or a little bit later in the day,

Sitting and doing nothing.

So you can notice that little,

That tension,

It always comes with the tension.

It's a,

It's a tightening,

You can feel it happening.

And then notice,

Oh,

Here it is.

Breathe into it.

Where is this ego in here?

Where is the sense of me?

Look for it to look for it.

And then the the part that you just said,

That's harder about it.

It's the the ego making it harder.

It doesn't want you to sit and be can't exist there,

It can exist in contentment.

And so you notice it,

You breathe,

You're there with it.

Okay,

We're back.

Oh,

Well,

I'm okay.

Okay,

Again.

Now,

Leaving that again,

A minute ago,

It gets us and then you breathe into it,

Feel it.

Don't act on it.

This is the point.

We act on it every time we sit to do nothing.

And then the mind,

The ego starts to panic.

I can't sit and do nothing.

I better go get a book.

I better go get a cup of tea.

I better go get my iPad.

I better go get my Kindle.

I better go get something to add on to this moment.

Because then you get that it's like,

Well,

No,

I still want something else.

It's never enough.

It's never satisfying.

Right?

But it's just this thought.

It's this thought,

I need something to add on to it.

And then the the tightening that propels us into action.

I better respond to this.

This is what we're trying to break this instead of responding and going and getting whatever it is it's saying to go get,

Come back into your body and feel it.

And then look for it.

Who is it that needs something else?

Who is it that needs this?

Right?

And as Helen's saying here,

This is,

Again,

Part of our culture,

Too,

That I'm going to add,

I think Jeff was saying,

Like our culture,

You've got to always be doing something.

How has that worked for our culture?

Always doing something that we don't even know how to sit and be.

Spend all day working on the garden,

Imagining how happy we're going to be when the garden is going to be imagining how we're going to sit in the garden and be so happy.

But then we get to that moment where we can finally sit in the garden and be happy.

It's like,

Same thing like,

Oh,

I didn't really mean sit and do nothing.

Oh,

I didn't notice those weeds over there.

I better keep going better keep doing and the guilt that creeps in because I'm sitting here and doing nothing as though what I'm doing is as though the act of sitting and doing nothing is a useless activity.

It is the most important thing you could be doing because you are seeing what's really happening there.

You are being with the discomfort.

We don't like the discomfort and because we're in this world of social media and news and email and text,

We're always feeding the ego.

We don't realize how much we're feeding the ego and we're always,

You know,

We're always rushing and we're so we're so on edge all the time.

Always rushing around and so to stop for a moment it feels,

It's the ego by the way,

Guilt is resisting,

Pushing back on.

I shouldn't be doing this.

It's the way the ego gets in.

You know,

Look at what everyone else is doing.

You'd be happy if you got over there,

You know.

You're right.

I want this guilt to go away.

So the guilt will go away if I start doing something again.

The guilt will go away.

It will go away for a moment and it will just transform into something else.

Chasing.

To run away from the guilt.

Not dealing with the source of the problem.

The source of the problem is the voice that's telling you you feel guilty for sitting.

I mean,

If you really have nothing,

You know,

There's nothing to do.

I mean,

Your dogs need to be fed.

If your kids are hungry,

Like take care of that.

But we all have time in our day.

We all have time in our day where we really can sit to do nothing.

To sit for a few minutes.

Notice the guilt that creeps in.

That's where your practice is.

That's your practice.

Be with the guilt.

Breathe into the feelings.

Here it is.

I can create some space for this.

So dialing back some of the tension.

Getting pulled out of the dream for a few moments.

And then ask yourself,

Who is it that feels guilty?

It's not a rhetorical question.

Look.

Close your eyes.

Look.

Scan from the crown of your head down to your feet.

Where is the one that feels guilty?

Look for yourself.

You will not find it.

Because the thought,

I feel guilty,

Is the thought gives rise to a little me that's guilty.

The image of me.

The ego.

It's just a thought that gives rise to it.

But when you stop having the thought,

I feel guilty,

And you start looking for the one that's guilty,

You cannot find it.

You can't find it.

And this is where the jig starts to come up for the,

The jig is up for the ego.

It's like in The Wizard of Oz.

When Dorothy pulls back the curtain.

When she finally gets to Oz,

And she pulls back the curtain on the great Oz,

And sees this little man just pulling leverage,

And she's like,

Oh,

You're not this great Oz at all.

But we do have to keep seeing it over and over.

Because we believe we are this little image.

This little unworthy,

Guilty,

Not enough,

Not successful enough,

Not pretty enough,

Not smart enough,

Not wealthy enough,

Not having the right relationships.

You know,

It's always,

It's always a place of lack,

By the way,

Always.

We've been carrying around this image our whole lives and believing it is who we are.

We believe 100% this is who we are.

That's how it's really got its tentacles into us.

We have,

We have stopped believing what we see,

Hear,

Feel,

Touch,

Taste,

Which is a relative reality,

In any case.

But we have stopped believing that.

And instead,

We believe the little image of our just relentless thoughts.

Just one thought after another.

We have 50 to 70,

50,

000 to 70,

000 thoughts a day.

95% of the thoughts you're having today,

You had the day before that,

The day before that,

The day before that,

They are repetitive.

Just playing out the same types of scenarios.

The names change,

The location changes,

Same types of scenarios.

I got to get over there to be happy.

I got to get this out of my way to be happy.

That's it.

I mean,

It sounds so simple,

Right?

It sounds so simple.

It's not simple.

It's not simple.

And yet,

It is 100% seeable,

This illusion.

This is not beyond anyone's scope here.

I promise you that.

It is not beyond anyone's scope.

If you are willing,

As Helen says here,

To just stop and let go.

Stop,

Sorry,

I will say stop.

Look.

The letting go comes from the looking or even the feeling.

I would say from the feeling,

There's some letting go.

The true letting go of who we have identified ourselves with to be our whole lives,

Of understanding this illusion comes from looking.

You have to look for yourself to see what is really going on.

So look for the one.

So feel the breath.

Feel the body,

Right?

We are so disembodied.

It is so beneficial to come into the body and feel and breathe.

It's just,

The more connected we can stay in the body and the breath,

The more aware we are of being here.

But the looking,

The asking,

Who is it that feels guilty?

Who is it that needs to let go?

Who is it that wants to be over there?

Who is it that doesn't want X,

Y,

Or Z?

What is it that doesn't want this?

That's where the genuine,

The oh my god,

The actual aha moments of letting go come from.

Oh my god,

There was nothing there.

There was nothing there.

I was so convinced it was real.

So when people say to like let go,

It's not easy to let go if you still believe in the illusion.

You can pull yourself out of it for bits and periods of time.

You can do that,

Yeah,

And that's good,

Right?

We need a break.

But keep looking.

Look for it.

Look for whatever it is you think needs to let go.

Look for whatever,

Look for the one that's doubting,

Look for the one that's worrying,

Look for the one that's judging,

Look for the one that's comparing,

Look for the one that's jealous,

Look for the one that's envious,

Look for the one that's regretting.

Look,

Because the thoughts of regretting something are pointing to an image of something that feels regret.

And then the feelings in the body give that sense of it.

But then you drop the thought,

Look in,

Look for it.

Who is the one that's regretting?

What is it that's regretting here?

Reviews

I've heard that a feeling only stays in the body for 90 seconds. If we can hang with it for 90 seconds feel it, process it it doesn't get stuck in the body. 90 seconds. Wow. A lifetime of ignoring feelings causes a lot to get stored in the body. 🙏💖🌺

This was very wise and helpful. Thank you so much teacher 😊🙏🏾

Thank you Meredith … I will listen often such wisdom 🙏🫶💞