What Is It That's Grasping?

In this Dharma talk, we explore the question: What is it that’s grasping? In Buddhism, grasping is seen as the immediate cause of suffering. But beneath the grasping lies a deeper root cause: the belief in a solid, independent self for whose sake all the grasping is done. This mistaken identity is what we have taken ourselves to be—fueling our suffering and obscuring the truth of who we really are.

Transcript

So last week,

We talked about the grasping,

About how our grasping mind,

This grasping mind movement,

Can so easily reinvent itself into being a spiritual seeker.

And that as a spiritual seeker,

We keep looking outside of ourselves for enlightenment,

For nirvana,

For awakening,

As though it's something to attain.

And that if we do this,

If we're spiritual seekers,

We will turn into perpetual seekers and never see what is right here,

That we won't wake up in this moment because we're always looking for it out there in the next moment.

And while grasping from a Buddhist perspective is the immediate cause of suffering,

The root cause of suffering is that there is something that we believe is at the center of that grasping,

That there is something here,

A little me,

A separate self,

An ego,

A thought created me that is going to benefit from the grasping.

So when we're thinking about ourselves,

When we're thinking,

I want that,

I don't want that,

I want what is pleasant,

I don't want what is unpleasant.

So I,

Subject,

Don't want that,

The unpleasant object.

We are splitting ourselves into two.

And as we're doing that,

Just in those words,

I want that,

I want to have that experience.

I want that new car,

I want that piece of chocolate cake.

I don't want the criticism.

Simply in those thoughts is how the little me arises,

The separate self,

The ego.

That little voice that we're always hearing,

Behind the little voice is this illusion of a little me that we take to be as who we are,

That literally I am this little me in my head.

And so our entire experience is filtered through the lens of this little me.

And it's as though we put this headset on,

This VR headset,

And we're playing a game.

And our little avatar is in there.

And it's trying to get ahead.

It's jumping ahead.

It's trying to get the praise and the approval and the success and the pleasure.

It's trying to get ahead.

And we've kind of got our eye on the point score.

I'm winning,

I'm winning,

I'm winning.

And at the same time,

There's these other things that are coming in the way and trying to knock us off.

The criticism,

The blame,

The discomfort,

The big bill,

Right?

The noisy neighbor,

The difficult person.

So we're in our heads.

This little avatar,

Little me,

Is playing this game,

Trying to get ahead,

Trying to grasp at things in the future.

And at the same time,

Trying to avoid all that which is unpleasant.

And we take the little me in this game to be who we really are.

And we know when someone asks us,

How are you?

Maybe it's not just a curse,

You know,

A passing friend.

It's someone's good friend.

They're coming and saying,

Hey,

How are you?

That typically,

Instead of looking in to see how do I feel?

How does the body feel?

Am I safe?

Is everything okay?

Instead of answering this question from the present moment,

The present moment,

We go up into our little game to try and determine,

Well,

How do I feel?

Because while I might look okay,

I might appear safe,

What's happening in my game may not be safe at all.

In fact,

Most likely,

I'm going to say,

Oh my God,

You should see what's happening up here.

It's a nightmare.

This morning,

Someone disagreed with me.

It was a nightmare.

I had this argument with them.

And it went back and forth.

And I cannot believe that they disagreed with me.

How could they do this?

And I cannot stop thinking about it.

Or we're thinking about,

We're saying,

Oh,

I'm great.

I've got this event later tonight.

And I'm so excited about it.

And I'm so looking forward to it.

It's not happening now.

But I'm so looking forward to it.

Because we believe the little me that's looking forward to something in the future.

Or it could be,

I have nothing going on right now.

My little me up here is bored.

It doesn't have anything to look forward to.

And so I'm not happy.

So we're checking in always with the little me in our game to decide how it is that we feel.

Because we take this little avatar to be who we truly are.

And while it is a representation of us,

It is not us.

But we believe the representation to be real.

Because we'll say,

But it did happen earlier.

That person did disagree with me.

Or it is going to happen later.

I am going to be going to that event.

But it's not happening now.

It's just happening in our heads.

And we have taken the representation of ourselves to be reality.

And it's like if we're,

It's late at night,

And we're walking down the street.

And we see something on the road that appears to be a snake.

And of course,

At first,

We're startled when we step back.

Right?

It's a snake.

But then we put our flashlight on the snake.

And what it reveals is that it was just a rope.

And we go,

Oh,

Phew,

It's just a rope.

But the snake,

The illusion of the snake could not arise unless there was the reality of the rope.

The illusion of the little me couldn't arise unless there is a reality that there is something here.

But we are so stuck in the game,

In the thought created me.

Believing that reality,

We don't see,

Excuse me,

Believing that perception of reality,

Not seeing reality.

In fact,

It is obscuring reality from us.

That even when we're saying to ourselves,

But,

You know,

There is something here that's going to experience that unpleasant event later,

That has to go to the dentist,

That has to have that difficult conversation later,

When it's saying,

But there is something here.

And even then,

We think it's pointing to reality,

But it's really just pointing back on itself.

It keeps reifying itself.

And we keep falling for it.

And this is what keeps us in this cycle of samsara,

Of suffering,

Of dissatisfaction.

Not that it's all,

Not that the whole cycle is suffering or dissatisfaction.

We obviously all have many good moments,

Many moments when we're present,

Right?

When we're engaged in some activity,

Maybe doing something athletic,

You're artistic,

You're with friends,

And you're laughing,

And you're sharing a good meal,

Right?

We do have many moments where they're good,

Where we're present.

But the problem is that those moments don't last.

And then we fall back into the game again.

Because everything was going so well.

I was so peaceful.

I was doing so well in my practice.

And then my neighbor started doing something that they shouldn't have been doing that was really bothering me.

And we go right back up into the game again,

Right?

Where everything is going really well in all of our relationships,

And we're feeling really good.

And then all of a sudden,

There's a little disagreement,

A little misunderstanding.

We go right back up into the game again.

We can't fix the game.

There is no fixing the game.

And that's a big part of what we're trying to do in spirituality,

Too.

We think we're here to wake up.

But many people are here just to try and fix the game.

Just to try and fix the game.

And you can't fix the game.

We have tried.

We have tried to attain that level of success and then stay there,

But it doesn't stay.

We've tried to keep all of our relationships constant,

But always want,

Oh,

They're a little distant right now,

Or something's going on over there.

And we've tried to just get the praise and let the praise be enough.

That one praise is enough,

But it's never enough.

And every time we're seeking the praise,

At the same time,

We're fearing the criticism.

Back in the game,

It's like we're on this ship that's in a storm.

And we're trying to get all the deck chairs to stay in one place.

And as soon as we get everything in one place,

All my relationships are good.

I don't have any pain.

I don't have any big bills.

No one's blaming me for anything.

And everything seems good.

And then another wave comes,

And all the chairs go flying.

And then we try and get everything.

We're in the game.

Oh,

I've got to try and rearrange everything.

We spend all this time rushing around,

Trying to get all the deck chairs in order,

Only for the boat to tilt again.

And then they just go flying.

We can't fix the game.

There is no fixing the game.

It's like if we were to tell a friend that's in a physically abusive relationship,

If we were giving them advice,

We would say,

Get out of the relationship.

It's never going to change.

Even when the conditions appear good,

And the partner that's being abusive is really contrite,

And they're sorry,

And they're being so kind,

And they're bringing flowers,

And they're doing everything we want.

It's just a matter of time before it starts to become abusive again.

You can't fix the abusive relationship.

We can't fix the game in our heads.

There's no fixing this in the game.

And so we should ask ourselves,

Why do people stay in an abusive relationship?

Why do people stay in a dead-end job?

Why do we stay in this abusive relationship with ourselves?

Because it's familiar.

It's painful,

But it's familiar.

And we do not like what's unfamiliar.

Familiar feels safe,

Even if it's painful.

And so stepping out into the unknown,

The present moment,

Is very scary.

Making that leap into the present moment is not natural for us.

I mean,

We can do it in good conditions when everything's going really well.

Everyone's being nice to us.

We don't have any big bills.

Our neighbors are being quiet.

Everyone's safe.

Everyone's healthy.

We seem everyone's healthy.

We seem to be able to somewhat stay present in the good conditions.

But are we able to make that leap of faith when we didn't get the job that we wanted?

When someone's criticizing us or blaming us?

When someone we love is hurting,

When we're hurting,

Can we make that leap into the present moment?

And typically,

That answer is no.

It's too scary.

No matter how painful it is up in the game right now,

Believing I'm something other than what I am,

It feels safer than letting go and coming into reality.

And so our whole lives,

We have let this little me rule us,

Be in charge of us.

We are thinking our lives.

We're not living our lives.

We're fretting and worrying at every turn.

What do they think about me?

And,

Oh,

Did I say the wrong thing back there?

And what's going to happen later?

And will I have enough time to get it all done?

We're perfectly safe.

And yet,

In our minds,

In our little game,

Our avatars are,

Oh,

No,

No,

No,

No,

I got to get over there.

Oh,

No,

No,

No,

No,

I got to get back away from that.

Believing that there is a true and independent little me up here,

A solid,

Independent me that is experiencing all of this.

And if that is true,

If there really is a solid,

Independent me that is experiencing all of this,

Then I should be able to shine my flashlight on it and see that it is there,

Not just in the dark.

I should be able to see it in the light as well.

And so last week,

Where we talked about seeing the grasping,

Right,

Seeing the grasping and enlightenment,

Seeing the grasping,

That pull,

That contraction,

Kind of more the feeling of it,

The feeling of the little me,

It always comes in with a contraction,

Right?

To really look at that,

We use specific examples of looking for the seeker,

Excuse me,

The seeker who's looking for enlightenment,

Right?

Now,

What I'm asking you is to go to the source.

Who is it that's grasping?

Who is it that's afraid?

Who is it that's anxious?

Who is it that's angry,

That's disappointed,

That's doubting itself?

Because we have this image in our mind,

We're sitting perfectly safe in our homes,

Maybe driving in our car,

Going for a walk.

But in our game,

There is a version of me up here that is fretting,

And worrying,

And terrified,

And freaking out.

So,

We should be able,

If it truly does exist,

If that is reality,

If that is reality,

That little me,

The thought created me,

The little me I conjured up with my thoughts,

If it is really true,

I should be able to find it.

So,

We look for it.

We look,

Where is it?

In the body,

Where is it?

Is it in my head?

Keep scanning all the way down.

Is it in my arms?

Is it in my,

You know,

We're scanning down through the body?

Where is it?

And what you will find is that it doesn't exist,

Because it only exists in our thoughts.

If I'm not thinking about myself,

What I want,

What I don't want,

Or even just making everything about myself,

What are they doing over there,

Implying that somehow it's affecting me,

Even when it has nothing to do with me,

But the little me makes everything about me,

Because it sees itself as the center of the universe.

But if I'm not having these thoughts,

So now I've changed my thought from what I want,

What I don't want,

To where is it?

I can't hold these two thoughts at the same time.

So,

The thought I want and I don't want,

That was holding up the little me that felt so real a minute ago,

That was so terrified,

That so believed my life was over,

Because of not getting something that I wanted,

Because someone else got something that I wanted,

Because of the criticism I received,

That so believed that a minute ago,

I'm looking for it now,

And I can't find it.

This is not an intellectual exercise.

It is meant for us to look,

To see what is here.

It feels like there is a little homunculus inside of us that's pulling these levers and running us around.

And so,

We should be able to look and find it.

And when we can't find it,

When we honestly look,

When we honestly look,

Don't just do this as just an intellectual,

Oh,

Where's the little me?

Oh,

It doesn't exist,

And keeping it as an intellectual exercise.

Really look.

If there is something solid,

Independent inside of you,

You should be able to find it.

And in looking for it,

In shining the flashlight on it,

And then saying,

I can't find it.

And it's not even that you're answering that to yourself,

But what it does is it simply reveals the reality of what is here.

It's no longer obscuring reality.

It reveals it because you shine a light on it.

It's not here.

And in that,

We go from this very narrow focus of the little me that's not getting what it wants to everything opening up.

All of a sudden,

The whole world opens up.

We open up.

There's spaciousness again,

Where even if,

Even though,

There may still be anxiety arising,

There may still be fear present,

There may still be disappointment present,

But no one that it is happening to.

Thinking,

No thinker.

Doing,

No doer.

And that is enough to be able to experience the reality that no one is here experiencing this.

You're still here.

We're all still here.

Doesn't mean we vanish.

Remember,

When you shine your flashlight on what you think is the snake late at night,

And it reveals the rope,

There is is something there.

This is the point in spirituality.

What we are really trying to get to is that we have completely misperceived who we are.

And we have to let go of who we think we are to know who we really are.

And in order to let go of who we think we are,

We have to see that who we have identified as our whole lives was simply an illusion.

It's not real.

You're still here,

Experiencing,

Oh,

A little bit of stress arising.

I need to move a little faster.

Yeah,

Need to get that done.

But not with that monkey on my back,

Whipping me,

You know,

Taskmaster,

Just got to move a little faster.

No problem.

That's the experience now.

Got to move a little faster.

Okay.

Right?

No one,

If there's a conversation that needs to be had later in the day,

That's a difficult conversation,

Right?

Instead of getting caught up in,

Oh,

No,

No,

No,

I don't want to have it.

Who doesn't want to have that conversation?

And you look for it,

And you can't find it.

And in that,

Again,

Opening up the spaciousness and the freedom that is here right now,

So that even when it's time for that difficult conversation,

I'm not feeling the sense of fear,

And being small,

And being meek,

And,

Oh,

My God,

What is this going to do to me?

It's just showing up in the present moment and having the difficult conversation.

We don't turn into a blob by seeing reality.

And we can even,

We can even acknowledge the usefulness of a conventional reality,

Right?

That yes,

Gary is here.

Hi,

Gary.

You know,

Alice is here.

Angie is here.

Melissa is here.

Philippe is here.

Gaynor is here.

Right?

And it's useful if I ask Gary a question that Gary knows,

Oh,

Meredith is talking to Gary.

It's useful to know this,

And it's useful to be able to go up and imagine a little me for a moment,

To say,

Okay,

I've got to do this.

I've got to go to the airport.

I'm going to leave at this time,

And to do a little bit of planning in the simulation machine.

But being very clear,

It's a little simulation machine.

It's useful.

It's beneficial.

Don't throw the baby out with the bath water.

But to be able to not stay in there,

To recognize,

Yes,

There was a little planning.

Okay,

Great.

Now let's see how it plays out.

Most of the time,

You know,

Maybe 90% of the time,

It plays out the way we think it's going to somewhat,

You know,

Reasonably close.

When those times that it doesn't,

No problem.

No problem.

There is a conventional reality that is helpful to know there is a Meredith here,

To know there is an Angie,

A Gary,

To know that if I'm going to the bank,

I'm putting money in Meredith's bank account,

Right?

If I'm going to the grocery store,

When I come back,

I'm putting them in Meredith's car,

Right?

But we're in the grocery store,

Right?

Always got to get to the next thing.

Oh,

Why are they in my way?

Right?

We're not here.

We're not doing.

We're just concerned with the doer up here.

And it's creating stress and suffering.

And we just stay in that cycle of stress and suffering.

And what we miss is seeing the reality,

The reality that each of us is impermanent,

Changing moment by moment by moment.

We are never the same person from moment to moment.

We can never be the same person two moments in a row.

Never.

Because of the millions and billions and trillions of different causes and conditions that are arising and changing moment by moment by moment.

There is something here having an experience,

But it is not a thing.

It is a process.

We are a process.

Very much like the tree is a process.

Like everything on this planet is a process in this universe is a process arising and changing moment by moment.

That is why the spaciousness and the freedom is there.

And in the seeing that why there is no grasping,

Because what could I possibly grasp at?

It would be like trying to grasp at a rainbow,

Trying to take the rainbow home with me.

You're pointing to the rainbow and saying,

You guys,

I own that rainbow.

I own it.

I'm going to bring it home later today.

Right?

That would make as much sense as grasping it.

Oh my God,

What do they think about me?

Oh my God,

What do I have to do later?

Not,

Oh,

I have to do something later.

Okay.

I have to do a little planning.

Oh,

You know,

Maybe there is a little bit of a nudge of,

Oh,

Did I hurt that person's feelings back there?

They kind of looked at me funny.

They said something funny,

Something happened.

Oh,

Maybe I should just send them a quick text and just check in.

Not,

Oh no,

My very,

My,

You know,

I'm losing points in the game because now someone might be critical of me instead of just recognizing causes and conditions coming together and changing moment by moment by moment.

The ship,

It keeps tilting,

Praise and blame,

Gain and loss,

Pleasure and pain,

Up and down,

Hot and cold.

That it's always changing.

That in fact,

We couldn't,

There would be nothing to experience if we didn't have these polar opposites.

That in fact,

It is how we experience the world,

But we don't have to get lost in the world to experience it.

That in fact,

When we get lost in the world,

Our experience is suffering.

That is the common theme.

When we get lost in the little game of what's happening with our avatar,

Just thinking our whole lives,

Not questioning who's thinking,

Oh,

And just snapping ourselves out of it.

A lot of the time we're even just thinking,

We're just narrating,

We're just mundane thoughts,

But we're not here.

We're not living our lives.

We're not here for our lives because we're so convinced that the game is real and my little avatar in the game is what's most important.

And so all of our attention goes there.

So we need to keep looking,

To keep looking.

And as we've been using with our mindfulness practice,

And this doesn't,

In fact,

We need mindfulness to be able to look,

Right?

We've used the acronym RAIN,

Recognize,

Accept,

Investigate,

And nurture.

And we use that specifically.

We used it a couple of weeks ago when we were talking in the class about feeling the unpleasant feelings,

Feeling the jealousy,

Feeling the anger,

Feeling the disappointment,

Right?

To really come in and feel it because that is an important part of the path as well.

And if we can't jump over that path,

That part of the path to seeing,

Okay?

If you're having difficult emotions,

We definitely want to come in and we want to feel them.

We want to accept them.

We want to welcome them.

Jealousy,

It's okay that you're here.

Doubt,

It's okay that you're here.

Unworthiness,

You too.

It's okay.

It's okay,

Sweetheart,

Right?

As we're breathing,

Right?

We're breathing in and out.

It's okay that you're here.

As we're investigating,

What's behind the anger there?

Also,

I'm hurt.

They're also hurt.

What's behind the jealousy?

Oh,

Not enough for me.

It's okay,

Sweetheart.

I understand,

Right?

Really bringing our loving kindness to these unmet needs that so many of us carry around,

Particularly in the West.

So,

We're doing a lot of nurturing in that,

Right?

A lot of nurturing of our feelings.

But the original acronym RAIN that was created by Michelle MacDonald,

It was Recognize,

Accept,

Investigate,

No-Self.

And then,

It was some Buddhist teachers that started adding in or changing the no-self for nurture because we do seem to have in the West,

Because we live in such an egocentric society,

Culture,

That there's a lot of unworthiness,

A lot of low self-esteem,

A lot of doubting,

A lot of unmet needs.

And I think it is very wise for us to recognize when we want to do RAIN with a nurture and when we want to do RAIN with a no-self.

Or when we want to combine them and just add two ends,

Where we recognize the jealousy,

Right?

Everyone experiences jealousy.

In this culture,

No getting around it,

Right?

And we come in and we feel it and we breathe into it.

We allow it to be here.

So,

We've recognized it,

We're accepting it.

We're allowing it to be here.

We're nurturing it.

We're investigating what's going on here.

You know,

Oh,

Yeah,

There's hurt.

We're investigating what's going on here.

You know,

Oh,

Yeah,

There's hurt.

There's hurt here,

Right?

That's what it is.

I'm hurt.

I don't feel like there's going to be enough left for me.

And in doing that,

Right?

Of course,

When we do that,

We come out of the little,

We are coming out of the little me.

We are coming out of the game and into the feelings.

But we're not really seeing that the little me doesn't exist.

We come out of it,

But we're not really connecting it as clearly as we could be.

So,

When we get to that state where we really do feel more grounded in whatever it is,

Whatever emotion or feeling that we're experiencing,

When we're feeling more grounded there,

Then we can say,

Or we can ask,

Who is it that was feeling jealous?

And look for it.

Because,

Of course,

It's completely dissolved now,

Even the feeling.

And what you find is there was no one there experiencing jealousy.

Jealousy arising based on causes and conditions,

The causes and conditions of the culture that we were brought up in,

What it was that your eyes happened to land on in that moment,

How you were feeling in that moment,

Whether you were feeling really good to start with or feeling a little bit down.

Of course,

If we're feeling a little bit down,

Those things tend to come out a little bit more,

Right?

So,

Instead of just ending on the nurture,

We can go a step further and say,

Who is it that was feeling jealous?

Who is it that was feeling angry?

And really look,

And I cannot stress this enough,

Particularly those of you that have been on the path for a while,

It's very easy to turn this into an intellectual exercise of saying,

Well,

No,

I know there's no self.

If you don't look for it,

You won't see that it doesn't exist.

So,

Don't make this an intellectual exercise.

Really look,

Even if it's just that kind of run-of-the-mill thinking,

We're just narrating our experience.

And you ask the question,

Who is it that's thinking?

Where's the thinker of all these thoughts?

Look for it.

Look in the body.

Where is it?

Because it is in the seeing that it doesn't exist that reality is revealed.

It's in seeing the snake does not exist that the rope is revealed.

If you can only see the snake,

You won't see the rope.

If you can only see the little me,

You won't see reality.

We are so believing in the separate self,

The little me,

The ego.

We are so believing in it.

I mean,

Think about the way we torture ourselves at the behest of this little me,

Because we so believe it is real.

Because we so believe it is real.

We have to look for it to see for ourselves again and again and again.

And it can be little,

Just little ones where we don't need to go through all the nurturing.

It's just that little,

I need to get over there.

Who needs to get over there?

Right?

Or just that little,

You know,

Just that kind of,

We leave a conversation and we just want to start replaying it.

Who wants to replay the conversation?

Look for it,

Right?

So there's little ways when it's not too emotional where we can just jump right into it.

We do have to recognize it first,

Right?

So we have to recognize it.

We have to be willing to accept,

Oh,

Thinking happening,

Doubting happening,

Or rushing happening,

Right?

We have to be willing to accept,

Okay,

There's something here,

And investigate,

And turning it on itself by saying,

Who is it?

So that when we look,

And we can't find it,

Reality is revealed.

And we keep doing this over and over and over again.

Because every time you pull back the curtain,

And you directly experience this for yourself,

Not reading it in a text,

Not hearing it in a talk,

But you directly experience it for yourself,

You start to trust the reality that you truly are an interdependent,

Interconnected arising in each moment.

Millions and billions of different causes and conditions,

We're arising and changing moment by moment by moment.

Every one of us is different from when we started this talk an hour ago,

Or the meditation an hour ago.

We are a little bit different.

Because of the words,

Because of your avatars,

Because of the comments,

Each and every one of us,

Because each of us is creating each other.

And that is the letting go.

Oh,

I thought I was controlling all of this.

I thought there was something really here.

And it was so close to getting that,

That,

You know,

Winning the all time score,

High score here.

But that was just suffering.

That was just suffering.

And not who I am.

We can use the image conventionally,

Useful when we need to use it.

Recognizing it is a representation.

Yes,

It is a representation of me,

Of Meredith.

I'm not doing a representation of Alice or Elka.

It's a representation of something here.

But not to get confused that the representation is reality,

Because the moment I do that,

Is the moment the suffering starts up again.

If we want freedom,

If we truly want freedom,

We have to get to the root source of suffering,

To keep coming out of the game again and again,

By seeing by shining a spotlight on that which we think is at the center of the game that is real,

And that is us.

And every time you and every time you experience that directly for yourself,

You become wiser,

You become more compassionate,

You become more equanimous with the ups and downs of the world,

Because it's just like we're on the boat.

And it's like,

Oh,

All the deck chairs are moving again,

Let's run down the other side.

Okay,

No problem.

No problem.

Because this is the reality of the world.

It's constantly changing.

There's nothing solid here,

Nothing solid outside of us.

But until we are willing to acknowledge we can't fix the game,

Can't fix the game,

We've got to stop trying to fix the game.

It's always going to be changing.

And to really keep looking,

To keep looking,

So that we can see what we are not,

To reveal what it is that we really are,

And start to live more harmoniously,

More peacefully with life,

Flowing as life.

We're not going to do it in the game.

It's never going to happen.

We have spent our whole lives thinking about our lives instead of living them.

And every person here is quite capable of looking at this.

Some of you,

I don't know if some of you may be a little bit newer in this practice,

If this sounds a little,

If there's anything a little bit unnerving about that,

Just know that we've planted a seed.

And stick with the other practices,

And stick with the other practices,

Mindfulness,

Recognizing,

Accepting,

Investigating,

Nurturing,

Stick with that,

Know that we've planted a seed,

So you can come back to this.

For those of you that have been practicing for a while,

Do you really want to wake up?

Do you really want to come out of the game of suffering?

Because if you do,

Then start looking and questioning who you have taken yourself to be your whole life.

And then you will find the freedom that you have been looking for,

That we kept talking about last week,

That is right here in this moment.

We can only wake up in this moment.

Because the reason we can wake up in this moment is because our true nature has never been away from us.

It has simply been obscured by this little me.

So the more that we start looking for it,

We start shining a flashlight on it,

And really being convinced for ourselves that this is true.

The more that we are truly living in the present moment,

Not from a game,

Not kind of,

Oh,

The conditions are good for a while,

So I can kind of pretend to be present,

Really with our fingers crossed behind our back,

Hoping the bad conditions don't come,

But instead recognizing I'm no longer grasping at that which is pleasant,

Pushing away that which is unpleasant.

If the pleasant conditions arise,

And they do,

Enjoy them.

Don't turn them away.

But when the unpleasant conditions come,

Because out of the pleasant comes the unpleasant,

Out of the unpleasant comes the pleasant.

They are inextricably linked.

So when the unpleasant come,

It's not a problem either.

It's an experience,

An impermanent,

Temporary,

Transient experience.

There is nothing to grasp at.

That is freedom.

Not trying to just hang on to the pleasant and push away the unpleasant.

That is suffering,

And that is the little me.

Freedom is no longer grasping at any of this,

But we have to see what it is that's grasping.

That is a critical… that is,

If we don't see that,

We're not truly seeing.

And if we're not truly seeing,

We're not waking up.

And I would argue,

I think a lot of us want to wake up.

Freedom is in this moment.

It's never in any other moment.

Never in any other moment.

It's only this moment.

Every time you're willing to look,

You will find the freedom is there.

You will find it is there.

Reviews

Thank you for the wisdom sharing and guidance. You have helped me find the light on many dark days. My heartfelt soul grattitude. 🙏❤️

This seems like a simple solution and yet the illusion likes to reinvent itself. Great talk 🥰🙏🏻

i love having the talk saved so i can listen whenever i need to. such a helpful topic- thanks Meredith 🙏🩵🦋🙏🩵🦋🙏🩵🦋🙏🩵🦋🙏