The Ego Game | Judging

In class 4 of our Ego Series, we look at how the ego fools us into believing that when we judge others, or ourselves, we are making ourselves safer. The reality is every time we judge through the lens of our ego we are closing up our hearts, reducing our capacity for compassion, empathy, understanding and wisdom.

Transcript

We are in our ego series right now.

We're on our fourth class where we are really trying to understand the ego better.

To understand how the ego arises through our thoughts.

Thoughts about what I want.

Thoughts about what I don't want.

And that in these thoughts,

Thinking about myself,

What I end up doing inadvertently is creating a little me,

A little separate me in my mind.

A little me that's not getting what it wants.

A little me that wants to get over there and believes it will be happy if it gets over there.

And that it will be happy if it can push anything away that that I perceive as being unpleasant.

So in our thoughts,

We create this little me.

And what we're doing is we're believing this little thought created me in this little VR headset we've put on.

This little story we're telling in the little me at the center of the story that's lacking and limited and small and not getting what it wants.

We're believing that little image of me more than we're believing the reality of what we're seeing and hearing and touching and tasting and smelling.

Of the reality of the world that we're living in that we are experiencing directly.

We don't believe this.

We believe this instead.

And this is the obstacle to awakening.

The illusion,

What we are asleep to is this illusion.

We are lost in this dream thought created reality,

Simulated reality,

And we're not awake to what's really going on,

To seeing what's really going on.

And so we're trying to peel back the layers on this to really understand this,

To bring more awareness,

More understanding.

And what we've been doing the last couple of weeks is bringing in the different characters of the ego to see it more clearly,

How it keeps pulling us up into this thought created reality,

How we keep believing the simulated reality more than we believe the reality that we can see and hear and feel and touch and taste.

And so we're doing this now in this way of bringing up the characters where we looked at the validator a few weeks ago.

The ego's need in that in me separating myself into two,

Wanting something,

Needing something,

I feel incomplete.

You always feel incomplete when the ego has arisen.

There is this separation and that often we focus our attention outwards looking for validation to tell me I'm whole again because I don't feel whole,

I feel separate.

I'm believing this little me up here and what I'm believing most of the time,

So much of the time what it's pointing to is that I need someone outside of me to tell me I'm okay,

To tell me I'm a good person,

To tell me to validate me because I don't feel it because I've separated myself into two.

And then also how last week when we looked at the controller and the controller is always there no matter if you're validating,

If you're needing validation,

We're trying to control for it in our thoughts,

Right?

Thinking through ways of trying to get someone to praise us or to to push back that we haven't been included or something or on the the disapproval,

Right?

We're trying to control for it so the controller always there,

It's always there.

And as we said last week too,

You can have the validator arising,

The controller,

The worrier,

The judge,

They can all be arising at one at one time.

But the more that we can see them individually and really see what they're pointing to,

How they are trying to remember the illusion,

Right?

The illusion,

The trick is like look over there and while we're looking over there rushing over to get something,

Trying to push something away,

While we're doing all this it's like we're not paying attention to what's happening over here,

We're getting tricked,

We're getting tricked and we always look at what the ego is pointing to,

We don't question it even though it never delivers or if it does it's only for a moment and only because if we get the object of our desire or we push something away that we believe is unpleasant,

What feels good is the absence of the ego for a few moments.

We feel whole and complete again but we we don't think that's what it is,

We think it's the object or I push something away and so then it just starts right back up again,

Oh well what else?

Now I need to get over there,

Now I need this person's praise and now I need you know it's just never-ending,

It's insatiable.

And so if we can bring more awareness,

More understanding to the different characters individually even if you've got 10 ego characters arising at once,

If you can pull the thread out of one,

You pull the thread out of the whole story and if we can see how suffering is arising and how we are getting attached to the suffering,

The moment we see that we are released from it.

And so we looked at the validator,

We've looked at the controller,

Today we're going to look at the judge.

So we all do a lot of judging,

A lot of judging of other people,

A lot of judging of ourselves,

No judgment in judging because we all do it.

Judging is a,

There's nothing wrong in fact with judging.

Judging is a cognitive process where we assess,

We evaluate,

Helps us to make decisions.

Judging in and of itself is just a cognitive process,

It is not harmful,

It is in fact helpful judging.

The problem is that when we're doing it through the lens of the ego,

That through the lens of the ego,

I am the center of the universe and it matters to me what everyone else is doing.

If I approve or disapprove of what everyone else is doing in the universe because I am the center of the universe and every time we start judging through our ego,

Seeing ourselves as the center of the universe,

What happens is we just,

We put these blinders on and we funnel everything down,

Whatever we're seeing when we're making these judgments,

Funneling it all down to one thing.

It's a very binary way of looking at the world,

It's either it's good or it's bad,

Right?

It's right or it's wrong,

It's fact or it's fiction,

It's you're kind or you're a jerk,

You're smart or you're stupid.

We're trying to,

We make these snap judgments,

Snap judgments of other people,

Of their behavior based on one little thing like we have hardly any facts at all.

In fact,

The only thing we seem to know is that I don't like it and that's enough for us to feel threatened,

To feel unsafe because you're doing something that I don't like and it doesn't make me feel good and so I need to put you in this little box,

I need to give you a label,

Bad what you're doing,

It's bad what you're wearing,

It's bad what you're thinking,

Right?

In some way not liking it and labeling it so I can put you in this little box with the illusion of control that if I put you in this little box and I've labeled you in this way that somehow I feel safer,

Somehow I feel less threatened by labeling you and yet the reality is by labeling someone as a jerk or they're just so irritating,

They're so annoying,

They're so narcissistic,

Oh they're a republican,

Oh they're a democrat.

Anytime we label someone,

No matter how you inoculate,

You know,

No matter how we are labeling them,

Narrowing our view down to one thing,

What we are doing is dehumanizing them.

We are seeing them as separate from us,

As different from us,

That they don't have feelings,

They don't hurt the same way we do,

They don't have hopes and dreams the same way we do.

We see them as different,

We create this this sense of you over there,

You over there,

Not human,

Me over here,

Center of the universe.

And every time we do that,

That we label someone just what they're wearing,

I don't like what they're wearing and we give them some type of derogatory label.

Every time we do that,

We are closing up our hearts and not just closing our hearts to that one person,

Closing our hearts to everyone and to us.

Because every time we judge someone,

Every time we we judge someone and we give them this label,

We are reducing our capacity for compassion,

For empathy,

For understanding,

For forgiveness,

For kindness,

For wisdom.

That is the practice,

That when we are judging all of the things,

All of the practices that we're doing here,

That we're working on,

To increase our capacity for compassion and understanding and empathy and wisdom and kindness and forgiveness,

We are actively practicing diminishing them.

And it's not just towards that one person because judging is contagious,

It metastasizes,

We're judging in one place,

We're judging it in another place.

Eventually,

Oh wait,

It's going to come around and you're going to start judging yourself,

Right?

It doesn't stay isolated.

So every time the judging arises and we believe the lie,

Oh,

If you just think about this,

If you think about all these unkind thoughts about this person that exaggerate their bad qualities,

Minimize their good qualities,

That somehow through thinking all this,

I'm going to feel safer,

I'm feeling less threatened,

That's what it's telling us,

That's what the ego is telling us,

Stay thinking about this,

That's how you're going to be safe.

It's a lie,

It's a lie,

It just keeps us lost in the illusion of separateness.

We don't see reality,

We go back up into our little VR headset,

Just feeding off of it,

Judging someone else,

Judging ourselves,

Not feeling safer,

Not feeling more whole,

Not feeling connected,

Not solving anything,

Just continuing this feeling of dissatisfaction,

Of unhappiness.

And we just fall for it over and over and over in judging other people.

And so,

We want to see how the suffering is arising,

Where the attachment points are,

So that we can be released from it.

That's what we're doing in these classes,

That's what we're doing in this ego series,

Is really looking to see how we rationalize these attachment points,

We rationalize these lies,

Right?

That when we walk into a place,

Into a restaurant,

Let's say,

And you see someone talking on their cell phone,

How quickly we judge that person,

Or someone else over there is talking too loud,

Or it's a real rowdy bunch,

Oh,

Look at them,

They're so rude,

They're so loud,

They're so obnoxious,

Right?

And the hook,

The lie,

Right,

Is that,

And particularly,

Let's say,

The cell phone,

But they shouldn't be on their cell phone at the table,

They shouldn't be speeding,

Right?

They shouldn't be in the 10 items or less checkout lane with 15 things.

They shouldn't be so disruptive,

Right?

It's always,

But they shouldn't,

They shouldn't be parking over there,

It's a handicap,

And they are clearly not handicapped.

My neighbor shouldn't be mowing the lawn at 4am,

Because those aren't the rules.

There's all this,

They shouldn't be,

But they shouldn't be,

That's what hooks us into staying up in there in the judging,

But they shouldn't be,

Right?

People do things all the time,

They shouldn't be doing.

We do things we shouldn't be doing,

As long as it's not causing any harm,

But we all do it.

But every time we judge them and label them,

Like they're a bad person,

Because they're on their cell phone,

They're texting and driving,

Or they're driving too fast,

Or parking where they shouldn't be doing parking,

They're a jerk.

Every time we do this,

We put the blinders on,

We see them as one thing,

Reducing our capacity for compassion,

Closing our hearts,

Having no wisdom,

Because the reality is,

If we take the blinders off,

And we open our hearts,

What we see is that everyone is arising based on causes and conditions.

If someone's in the restaurant on their cell phone,

It's because their causes and conditions thinks that's okay.

If you don't,

It's just because of your causes and conditions.

But we have this idea that there are rules,

And no one should ever break them.

But the reality is,

People break them all the time,

Based on causes and conditions,

Whatever those conditions are,

That are arising in that moment.

Because that if we see someone speeding,

And we have a more open mindset,

We don't want it,

We don't go right into that judgment.

Instead,

We try and look for understanding.

Maybe they're rushing to the hospital,

And maybe they really are late,

And they are really panicked.

And I know what that's like,

Because I've been like that too.

And I've been speeding,

Right?

And so instead of,

But they shouldn't be doing it,

They're a jerk,

They're going to cause an accident,

Or all of the things that we get hooked into there,

Instead of like giving them some understanding,

Right?

Or someone's on the cell phone,

You know,

Talking loudly,

Maybe it's something really important,

They need to know.

Maybe they're talking to someone that that's sick,

And they haven't had a chance to talk to them,

Or there's something important there,

Like to give people the benefit of the doubt more often.

Because we don't give people the benefit of the doubt.

When we're judging,

We just put the blinders on,

And we want to put them in a little box.

And we believe wholeheartedly,

That if we can just keep them in this little box,

And to keep them in this little box,

I have to keep thinking about it.

That's because the box only lives in my thoughts.

So I have to keep thinking about it,

I have to keep thinking about why they're such a bad person,

And why they're so rude,

And why they're so inconsiderate,

And how this is affecting me,

Even though it's really not affecting me at all.

I have to keep thinking about it.

And I'm suffering the whole time.

It's unpleasant,

It doesn't feel good.

And if I'm spending all this time judging everyone else,

Just a little judging,

You're driving down the street,

We judge someone for what they're wearing,

How they're walking their dog,

Right,

Where they're riding their bike,

Like how quickly we can do these little,

Little judgments.

If we're doing it there,

Then we're judging ourselves very quickly as well.

It doesn't take very long for that to come around to us.

It's contagious,

It metastasizes.

It doesn't change anything.

I mean,

In the judging,

We think we're controlling something.

We're not controlling anything.

All we're doing is getting lost in the dream of illusion of separateness,

That there is something solid and independent here that is being harmed by something solid and independent out there.

Believing I'm the center of the universe instead of part of the universe.

That's all that's happening.

And I'm suffering.

And my relationships are suffering.

My relationship with myself is suffering.

No one likes to be judged.

No one likes it.

We don't like it,

Right?

No one likes being judged.

But it is a really,

It's a common,

Common mind movement of the ego,

Judging others,

Often very much a reflection of our own dissatisfaction.

We're feeling unhappy in some way.

We're bored,

We got criticized earlier,

We were disappointed about something.

And we kind of feed on the judging of others as a way to feel a little bit better about ourselves.

And maybe we do feel a little bit better because for a few minutes,

We're distracted.

Or we think we do,

Right,

On the surface of it.

But if we look more closely,

First of all,

What a horrible way to feel bad about ourselves to have to judge others to push them down.

And it's not getting to the source of the problem.

Other people are not the source of our problem.

If we see people as others,

If we dehumanize other people,

We are creating more problems for ourselves,

Not less.

We are feeling less connected,

Less like we belong.

Not a part of the tapestry,

Somehow again,

The center of the universe.

It has these,

These just this cascading effect of making us feel terrible about ourselves,

About our lives.

And it just perpetuates more and more judging.

Judging others doesn't lead to the end of judging,

It leads to more judging,

More suffering,

More living in the illusion of of separateness,

Of disconnection,

Of ill will,

Of anger,

Of hatred.

And if we think about,

I mean,

How we react when people have different views and opinions to us,

Not everyone's going to agree with what we say.

Not everyone's going to agree with what I say here or the way I said it,

Right?

But people have different views and opinions based on their causes and conditions.

We have this misguided idea that somehow,

You know,

All of the views and the opinions and the beliefs that I have here are all are all independent.

I created them somehow.

No.

Every view,

Opinion,

Belief that I have is based on causes and conditions.

And all of those causes,

The parents that I had,

So my DNA,

The type of brain I have,

Whether I was dropped on my head as a child,

My friends,

My relationships,

What type of books I've read,

What type of media I've consumed,

What type of experiences I've had,

All of this has gotten funneled through here.

And again,

Processed through this brain,

Not I didn't create it,

But it gets processed out and an idea comes out,

A view comes out,

A belief comes out,

An opinion.

Nothing I created,

All interdependent,

All interconnected.

And so how could I be mad?

How could I hate someone else for having a different view or opinion if my views and opinions are simply the result of trillions of different causes and conditions?

And their views are the result of trillions of different causes and conditions.

And this is a real,

I mean,

This is becoming really serious for us,

Because we will hate people based on them having a different view.

In the US,

I mean,

Even though I live in Mexico now,

I still follow the US news.

I mean,

Not day to day,

Because it's a little rough to watch that much.

But I still follow it.

I still vote.

My residence is still in California.

And you can see that someone who is,

Say,

A Democrat,

Who supposedly wants to be inclusive,

And open,

And non-judgmental,

Can label someone who is a Republican,

A conservative,

As a moron,

As an idiot,

As a white supremacist.

All of these horrible ways in which we label people that have different political views than us.

And we can even really see how dehumanizing it is,

Right?

That,

Oh,

You voted for someone that I didn't vote for.

Well,

You must not have feelings.

You must be uninformed.

Of course,

We always go right to,

You must be uninformed.

You must be ignorant.

You must be watching the wrong things.

I mean,

I couldn't be mistaken,

Right?

I have to be right.

And that's a big,

That's a big hook for the ego.

But I'm right.

Right?

But I'm right.

But I'm right.

But I'm right.

And maybe you are right.

Maybe,

Maybe,

Maybe you are.

But look at what even clinging to your views and attachments,

Because I'm right.

What that does,

It's like you just keep putting the dagger in your heart.

You're separating yourself from like half the country.

And that is happening.

That is really seriously happening right now.

People hating each other,

Seeing them as one thing,

Because they label them as a Republican or a Democrat,

And all of the things that go with that one thing.

And really saying like,

I hate that person.

And I would not be disappointed if something unpleasant happened to them.

We saw this.

We saw this.

We saw this with COVID.

When someone who wasn't,

This would be on the news,

Someone who wasn't vaccinated,

Ends up in the hospital,

And maybe even dies.

You can see the gloating in the news anchor,

Or the commentator,

Or the,

You know,

We're interviewing people.

Yeah,

It serves them right.

They didn't believe in it.

And on the other side,

If someone who did get vaccinated and ended up in the hospital,

Nearly dying or dying,

And someone else saying,

See,

They thought the vaccine was going to keep them safe.

So I'm not making a claim on either side here.

What I'm showing is look at how our judgments of other people that judgments of other people that have different views and opinions than us can lead to this dehumanizing of other people,

This separation,

This disconnection.

We're not seeing reality,

The blinders come on.

Everything you don't want to be is what you become when you're judging.

Less compassionate.

In fact,

I would argue of zero compassion,

When judging zero empathy,

Zero understanding,

Zero wisdom,

Zero kindness,

Zero forgiveness.

Everything we want to nurture,

And foster within us all the qualities that we're looking to do to open our hearts to become wiser.

We completely shut down every time we judge another human being.

And even it'll come out the judging where we feel rejected.

And we feel we've been excluded in some way.

And instead of going to our self compassion practice,

Right,

It hurts,

It hurts to be excluded.

Nobody likes it.

I don't like it either.

Nobody likes it.

And our compassion,

Oh,

Yeah,

That hurts,

Sweetheart.

That was tough.

Instead of going to self compassion,

That helps us to be with what it is that we're feeling.

But to be in reality with it,

Not pushing back on it.

We go up into the simulation pushing back.

Well,

I don't like them either.

They're actually a bit of a jerk.

And we start focusing on all of their negative qualities,

Exaggerating their negative qualities.

All in the name,

I was hurt.

And so I believe I'm somehow controlling this and somehow I'm making myself feel safer.

I'm making myself feel better about the non inclusion or the disapproval or whatever it was,

By putting them in a box.

I'm just continuing my own suffering.

That's all I'm doing.

I'm not comforting myself.

I'm not coming into reality.

I'm not being compassionate to myself,

Right?

I'm not being compassionate to them.

I'm not being compassionate to myself either.

And it just locks us in these patterns.

And how many times does this happen?

We think all these terrible thoughts about someone,

Only to have the misunderstanding resolved later.

I mean,

I guess the best we could hope is that we didn't say these thoughts to anyone else and that somehow that then gets back to them.

There's a story of a Zen priest.

Some of you are probably familiar with this.

Where they had a small village in Japan and a young girl,

A 16 year old girl in the village,

And a young girl,

A 16 year old girl in the village becomes pregnant.

And when her parents ask her who is the father,

Not wanting to say it was the boy next door,

She says it was the Zen priest.

I was I was up at the temple.

I was praying and he seduced me and he's the father.

And so the parents go up to the temple and they're yelling at the priest and we can't believe you did this and you're such a horrible priest and we're never coming back to this temple and we're telling all of our friends you're a terrible,

Terrible priest.

No one's going to come here again.

And he says,

Oh,

Is that so?

And they leave and most of the people stop coming to the temple.

He gets very little support for several months.

But he continues with his practice,

Chopping wood,

Going out,

You know,

Walking meditation,

Sitting meditation,

Studying,

Probably eating a little bit less,

Not getting as much support from the community.

But not judging them.

So when they come back months later after the young girl,

So much guilt over doing this,

She finally confesses and says it wasn't the Zen priest,

It was the the boy next door.

And the parents go rushing up to the temple and oh my God,

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry that we accused you of this,

That we judged you so quickly.

I'm so,

So sorry.

And we said all these horrible things about you.

Can we please come back?

We would like to come back and we will tell everyone we were wrong.

And he just says,

No problem.

Of course,

Come back.

You're more than welcome.

All that time he could have driven himself crazy.

Or when they came back,

He could have said,

No,

Don't come back here.

You know,

I'm done with you,

Right?

If his ego had taken over.

But he realized causes and conditions.

Young girl afraid.

Afraid to say who it really was.

Right?

Happens all the time.

It's not personal.

Feels personal.

I get it.

Feels personal,

But it's not personal.

He understood the causes and conditions.

His happiness wasn't dependent upon whether he could convince them that she was lying or not.

He let it run its course.

And then when eventually they came back,

It was like,

No problem.

You're welcome.

Of course.

Of course,

You're welcome with open arms.

I'm happy that you're here.

And in so doing,

Instructing a big lesson on not judging people as a way of defending ourselves.

Because when we've been rejected or someone's harming us,

Someone's saying things about us,

Not taking this unpleasant situation,

Still unpleasant,

Self-compassion,

But not turning it into judging them.

Because they are simply the result of their causes and conditions.

And an awakened being understands that.

And that's what we are trying to do here is to wake up out of the illusion of how when the ego comes in as judging,

It hooks us in,

But they shouldn't be.

No,

But I'm right.

But I'm hurt.

None of those are valid reasons to judge.

They don't lead to the end of suffering.

They lead to more suffering.

And it leads to more judging of ourselves.

But when we can start to see in others that they are arising through their causes and conditions,

Everybody makes mistakes.

Everybody's human.

Sometimes we all speed,

Park in the wrong space,

Say the wrong thing.

If we can start seeing that in others,

We can start seeing that in ourselves and judging ourselves less.

Allowing ourselves to be who we are without judging us all the time.

We're so cruel to us,

To ourselves and how we judge.

And again,

I think a lot of the judging outwards is a result of the judging ourselves.

Just to give ourselves a break for a minute,

We start judging other people.

But our practice is to see the judging takes us up into this illusion.

There's a little me up here that is somehow unsafe,

Is threatened.

And in judging myself or in judging other people,

Somehow I have this illusion of control.

That somehow I am making this better.

I'm not making it better.

I am making it worse.

I'm closing my heart,

Decreasing my capacity for compassion and empathy and understanding and forgiveness and kindness and wisdom.

And none of this means that,

Of course,

If someone is behaving in a way,

If their behavior is toxic.

And I do always like to make that distinction.

Someone can be exhibiting narcissistic behavior,

Toxic behavior,

Unkind behavior.

Not the person,

But those conditions are arising that that is the behavior that's arising.

And if it's unsafe to be around someone or again,

This person is maybe doing a lot of judging,

Not to judge them for that,

Because we all judge,

We all know what it's like.

But to recognize the judging behavior is something I don't want to be around.

And even if we have to have that difficult conversation with someone to set a boundary,

And it's so important for us to remember that while it's a difficult,

Unpleasant conversation to have,

There is an end to it.

Because if we don't have the conversation,

We still just go up in our heads pushing back,

Starting to judge the other person,

Having resentment towards the other person,

Again,

Turning into someone we don't want to be.

So even if we're having that conversation with someone to not say you're narcissistic,

You're toxic,

But the behavior is coming across that way.

And the behavior is pushing me further away,

Is creating a wedge.

And that's why we're having this conversation.

The behavior is a problem so that we can walk away knowing that we did the right thing,

That not every relationship on the planet is healthy for us.

Um,

But we walk away with not having ill will for that person in our heart,

Not having anger,

Not having hatred,

Not judging them for it.

Every time we judge,

We put blinders on.

We are turning into someone we do not want to be.

We suffer,

Our relationships suffer.

People can tell when we're being judgmental of them.

It doesn't feel good to judge others.

We want freedom.

We want peace.

We want connection,

Belonging,

Right?

We want to be in the flow of life,

Right?

To allow others to be who they are.

One of the nicest things you can do for another human being is allow them to be who they are,

To not try and change them through controlling,

Through judging,

Just they're who they are.

We talked a lot about that last week,

The controlling,

Right?

You see,

You can really see how the controlling and the judging really intermingled here.

And one of the nicest things we can do for ourselves is allow us to be who we are,

Have the freedom to be who we are with all our flaws,

With all our little weirdness,

As long as we're not hurting anyone,

Right?

Allow us to be human,

To stop judging ourselves,

To stop judging others.

What the ego is pointing to here is a lie,

Like it always is a lie.

It's always fooling us.

We're so convinced that what it's telling us is true.

If I can just keep them locked in this little box,

This label,

So keep the judging thoughts going,

I'm safer,

I'll feel better.

No,

You won't feel better.

And it will just lead to more and more judging.

So our practice is to really be looking for the judge this week,

To still be looking for the ego arising as the validator,

That endless insatiable need for validation,

Still be looking at it just from its own angle of control.

Control is always there,

No matter which ego character we're looking at.

The very nature of the ego arising in these thoughts is it's trying to control,

But be looking at that too,

Because anywhere we can pull the thread,

And we've got to keep trying to pull the thread out of the illusion to bring us back to reality.

So still looking for the validator,

The controller,

But the judge,

More of a focus this week,

Like really giving that our primary focus,

Looking for the ways in which we judge all the little low-hanging fruit,

We're just walking,

We judge so much just what people are wearing,

What they're saying,

How they're saying it,

What they're watching,

Oh you go on,

You know,

Oh you,

I don't know,

Go on social media,

Oh I wouldn't do that,

Right?

Look at all these little ways that we can judge people,

Kind of putting ourselves up,

Putting them down,

Right?

It's like it's,

We're not seeing reality,

And we're just suffering,

We're just suffering,

We are trying to come out of the illusion of suffering,

To wake up to the illusion,

Judging is a big,

A very big part of where we get lost in the illusion of suffering,

Where we get lost in the ego,

In judging,

And when you see that,

I see you Mara,

I see what you're selling today,

And you breathe,

You come back into the present moment,

You look around and you hear the sounds,

You feel,

You know where you are,

Smell,

Taste,

If you're eating food,

Ground yourself back and you're like ah,

Because we've got to break the habit,

If you feel rejected,

Self-compassion,

Right?

You screwed up,

Self-compassion to bring us back into our,

You know,

These are the practices to keep bringing us back,

To keep bringing us back,

We don't want to keep perpetuating the habit,

We want to keep bringing ourselves back,

Allowing others to be who they are because they are who they are based on causes and conditions,

And allowing us to be who we are because we are who we are based on causes and conditions,

And to be free to ride the wave,

To be the ride,

Just arising and passing without all this judgment,

It's not adding to our experience,

It's taking us away from our experience,

So we've got to keep seeing it,

Seeing the judging,

Being very crystal clear,

It is putting blinders on,

It is closing up your heart,

It is not bringing you what you think it's bringing you,

It's not bringing you safety,

It's not making you less threatened,

It's making you feel more threatened and exaggerate your situation,

To see that,

To notice the hooks and the way it keeps getting you in there,

But they shouldn't,

But I'm right,

But they hurt me,

Oh there it is,

I see it,

Breathe,

Do those 10 breaths,

Practice self-compassion as needed,

Feel it come out,

The moment I was believing that what that person was wearing over there was a problem,

Oh that's right,

I must have been seeing myself as the center of the universe,

I'm not the center of the universe,

I am a part of it,

I am a part of it,

Interconnected,

Interdependent,

Belonging,

I can't not be a part of this,

I can think I am,

And judging is a big way in which we think we're not,

And the more that we can let go of the judging,

Recognizing judging is a cognitive process,

If it's not through the lens of the ego it's okay,

If we're again through wisdom,

The behavior is not healthy,

I'm not going to be around that person anymore,

That's through wisdom,

But if I'm seeing it as I'm the center of the universe,

It's a problem,

It's a problem for me,

And it's a problem for everyone around me,

And we want to be free,

We want to wake up from the illusion,

Wake up from the illusion of judging,

It is not bringing you what you think,

And every time you wake up from the judging,

And you come back,

And you feel the peace,

And you feel whole,

You feel complete,

And you feel connected,

And start to trust this more,

Then you do your thoughts,

Right,

You just keep coming back,

Begin again,

Begin again,

Begin again,

No judgment because we got lost in judging,

Just begin again.

Reviews

I am so very Grateful to have discovered you! I can resonate with what you are saying so much…your simple beautiful way of sharing draws me in, makes a true impression…🙏🏻♥️

Another wonderful talk in this series explaining the Ego.

So much really good stuff. I’ll be listening to this judging talk a few more times. I’m excited about what you said in a previous comment… That you’ll be making a course out of this. Yay! Please consider using a lower tone, Bell or chime in the course for sensitive souls like me… ( hyperacusis / tinnitus). You are a wonderful teacher, and I am thrilled that I found your talks 🙏🦋🌹✨🕊️🌈🌞✨🙏

So grateful to have found you & your teachings. When the student is ready...🙌🏼
Thank you for 'begin again,' more compassion, more grace, less judgment, more awareness, more FREEDOM! 🙏🏼