The Ego Game | Chasing Happiness

In Class 5 of our Ego Series, we look at the little me that is always chasing happiness out there. This belief there is a future happy me, dependent on external conditions, when all we are doing is robbing ourselves of the peace that is here now.

Transcript

For the last four weeks,

We have actually,

Sorry,

For the last five weeks,

We have been exploring this ego series,

Trying to become crystal clear about how our ego arises through our thoughts,

That through thoughts,

Thinking about myself,

Thinking about what I want,

What I don't want,

That I create this little image of a me in my mind,

In this like virtual reality headset,

I create this little image of a me that is somehow lacking and small,

And it's dissatisfied.

And it feels disconnected,

It feels separate,

Feels like it doesn't belong.

And that this is where we are spending most of our time,

Lost in this illusion of a little me,

A little thought created me that is somehow unhappy.

And so believing what the thoughts are pointing to,

That if I were to just get over there,

If I could just get something,

If I could just get something out of my way,

Then I'd be happy.

And because we're so believing the story that it's telling us,

What we're not seeing is the suffering that it's causing right now,

That the tightness,

The tension,

The anxiety,

The nervousness,

The sense of not feeling whole,

Of feeling as though we don't belong,

All of this that is happening,

Because we are so believing the story of me versus the reality of me right here,

Of what I am seeing and hearing and feeling and smelling and tasting.

And so we are pulling back the different veils,

The different layers on the ego to be more clear about how it is arising,

Looking at the different characters of the ego,

The different personalities,

Because it is the master of disguise,

The master of illusion,

And it just fools us over and over again.

So by looking more specifically at the way it is arising,

As we did when we looked at the validator,

That need for validation,

That separateness that arises through the ego,

And I need something outside of me,

Someone outside of me to tell me I'm a good person,

To feel like a good person.

Again,

I need some external validation in order to feel whole,

Or through the controlling,

Right?

And the controlling being there and all the ego characters,

Trying to control for good experiences and to avoid unpleasant experiences.

And so trying to control other people,

Trying to control our experiences,

Trying to control ourselves,

We don't even have control of ourselves.

And yet we're up in our thoughts all the time,

Always trying to control.

And we looked last week at the judge,

This constant judging of other people,

Of wanting to put people in a little box,

In a little label,

Feeling as though while judging them,

Imagining all their negative qualities,

Putting them in this little box,

This label,

I am somehow safer.

I'm somehow less threatened.

Not seeing that,

In fact,

The more that I think these unkind thoughts,

The more that I judge someone else,

Or the more that I judge myself,

The less feel safe I feel.

The more threatened I feel,

The more I feel like a victim.

And so what we're doing is trying to say,

Look at what the ego is pointing to.

What it's telling us is a lie.

And what it's doing is,

Because we're so busy looking at what it's pointing to,

We're so focused on it,

So focused on the lie.

We are missing seeing what is happening right here.

How each of us is arising in each moment through causes and conditions.

The constant changing nature of our experience,

Of what we're seeing,

Of what we're hearing,

Of touching,

Of tasting and smelling.

That constantly,

That everything is just changing,

Arising and changing moment by moment,

Interdependent,

Interconnected.

We miss all of this because we're so lost in the lie.

And so as we are going through the ego characters,

What we discussed the other week was that you can often have several ego characters arising at once.

Their qualities often overlap.

But if we can identify just one,

Right?

If we can just identify one character,

We can pull the thread out of the whole story.

So if you're lost in your thoughts,

And you're judging,

And you're controlling,

And you're worrying,

And I mean,

All of it's there together,

Right?

All you have to do is be able to see one to pull the thread out of the entire illusion.

And that's what I think is so helpful in the way that we're doing this ego series and really looking at all of the different characters.

So a little story before we introduce our next character.

There was a,

There's an old Sufi story about this guy named Nasrudi.

And in one evening,

He is out on the street corner under the street lamp,

And he's down on his hands and knees as though he's looking around for something.

And one of his friends comes along and says,

Hey,

Nasrudi,

What are you doing down there?

And he said,

Oh,

I'm looking for my watch.

And the friend says,

Oh,

Well,

Let me come down,

Let me help you.

So the friend gets down on his hands and knees,

And they're both looking around looking for the watch.

And after a couple of hours,

The friend says,

Okay,

All right,

Nasrudi,

Where did you last see the watch?

And he says,

In my house.

And the friend's like,

Well,

What are we doing looking for the watch out here?

If you last saw it in your house.

And he says,

Oh,

The lighting's better out here.

And as ridiculous as it sounds to be looking for something where we know it is not to be found.

That is exactly what we do with happiness.

We chase happiness,

Where it is not to be found.

In this chasing of happiness of a future me,

A future me that's going to be happy if it,

If the future me gets the new job,

Gets the promotion,

Gets the pay raise,

Gets the new partner,

Gets the new car,

Gets the new house,

The new holiday,

Gets the praise,

Gets the approval,

Right?

This future me that is going to be happy,

That we endlessly chase,

Even just in,

It doesn't even have to be in such a big material type thing,

Or it's kind of a big event,

Just this future me in the next moment,

Right?

When I get home and I can unpack all the groceries,

Then I'll be happy.

You know,

The future me on the other side of doing the dishes,

Then I'll be happy.

You know,

The future me that when I get this project done,

Then I'll be happy.

That we are endlessly chasing happiness,

Believing that there is a me,

The little thought created me,

That is going to be happy in the future.

And we are so locked in to the story of the future me that's going to be happy,

We do not see all the suffering that it is creating for us right now.

Because even in the things that we perceive as good,

Right?

If I'm getting the you know,

You're getting a material object,

You're getting a new car,

You're buying a new house,

You're buying,

You're at the store,

You're at the mall,

You're buying some new things,

You're on Amazon,

Right?

You're buying new things.

Even in those things,

There's this,

There's of course,

The excitement,

The energy,

The dopamine,

The neurotransmitter that's being released,

But it's always accompanied with a surge of adrenaline as well.

It actually doesn't feel good at all.

That when we separate ourselves into two,

And we're imagining that my happiness is in that object over there,

We feel tense,

We feel tight,

We actually feel a little bit nauseous from that energy.

And I know,

I know for myself,

When I first really paid attention to this,

Many years ago,

It was probably like 10 years ago,

I was shopping in a Marshall's,

Marshall's a little department store in the US.

And I'd gotten a couple of items,

A couple of tops.

And we all know how this happens when you kind of get one thing or two things,

And then you're like,

Oh,

Man,

That looks good.

And that looks good.

And that looks good.

And I was kind of getting this little frenzy of it.

And I realized in that moment,

How awful I felt that this,

This excitement was accompanied by a feeling of nauseousness,

Of anxiety,

Of nervous energy,

That in fact,

It did not feel good at all.

And of course,

What's on the other side,

That nervous energy that we don't pay attention,

Pay attention to the,

The nausea,

The feeling of discontentment.

What we're while we're not paying attention to that.

We're also not paying attention to once we leave the store,

Once we get the object,

The disappointment that always comes along with it.

Because it didn't fulfill me.

It didn't make me eternally happy,

Like I thought it was going to,

It didn't fill this empty hole inside of me.

It just went straight through.

And so now I'm left looking what else,

What else can I do?

How else can I feel happy?

And we go back out where we repeat this cycle over and over the craving,

The craving myself into existence,

I need there's a little me that needs something outside of it.

And then all of this nervous energy,

This racing,

This fear,

What if I don't get it?

The comparing that comes out of it,

Because what if they get there first?

Right?

What they look happier than me,

I'll never have what they have.

And then ultimately the disappointment,

Because even if we get the object,

It's a fleeting happiness.

It was never going to fill us.

It just leads,

Oh,

I feel now I feel the disappointment.

So what,

What else?

Oh,

What can I get over here and get this and stuff in my face,

Trying to fill this empty hole that we will never fill.

Because the empty hole,

The lack is created through the thoughts.

The thought I need something,

The thought I'll be happy over there.

Again,

This separation,

First of all,

It is painful.

It's like from that TV show,

The Hulk,

When he would turn into the Hulk and the shirt would open and it looks painful,

Like he's becoming this big bulky man.

Every time we separate into separate ourselves,

Creating the thought created me,

The separate me,

The ego,

The little me,

It is painful.

We are separating ourselves into two.

And it is through that process that this gaping hole arises,

That we then look outwards to fill,

But we will never fill it.

It will never be filled.

It's insatiable.

It is a bottomless pit of despair.

So in the lie that it's pointing to,

That my happiness is over there,

And we know very clearly,

It's not,

Because it's creating suffering right now.

And whatever I get,

It doesn't do it for me.

But there's,

There's another,

Another,

Uh,

Belief that somehow there is this,

This,

Um,

Level of happiness,

Of excitement,

Of bliss,

Of awe,

Of wonder,

That I can get to,

And I can stay there permanently.

That there is some level,

This,

This high level of happiness,

That is something to be attained.

And I can,

And I will always stay there.

And this is,

This is what we do with spirituality as well.

Right?

We chase it.

We're chasing nirvana.

We're chasing the bliss as though that's some permanent state,

Right?

I,

We're,

We're done with the material world.

I'm done with it.

I'm done with chasing success,

Climbing the corporate ladder.

And then we transfer the ego so clever,

So sneaky,

So insidious.

We just transfer it over so sneaky,

So insidious.

We just transfer it over to spirituality because now I'm chasing the bliss over here.

I'm grasping,

I'm craving.

I am once again,

Believing a lie that happiness is somewhere other than where I am right now.

And that happiness,

This,

This kind of high level of happiness,

The excitement,

The bliss,

The,

Again,

The awe,

The wonder that,

That somehow this can be a permanent state.

It's not,

It's a fleeting state.

All of these states are fleeting.

They come and they go.

They come and they go.

It doesn't matter who you are.

Everyone experiences fleeting states of happiness.

You can't stay at these peak levels of happiness.

And so this is a challenge for us in a society that is always believing that these things are somehow permanent and pointing to it,

That everything outside of us is pointing to it as well.

The media,

All of the advertising,

The marketing is pointing to it and saying,

This is it.

Even in spirituality,

I hope in nothing that I'm ever,

Nothing that I would ever be sharing,

But we can see it.

And spirituality pointing to this bliss state that you can stay here forever.

You can't,

These are fleeting states.

And we don't go to the other extreme then to say,

Well,

I negate it all.

Enjoy these fleeting states.

Enjoy the bliss when you're in a deep state of Samadhi.

Enjoy these states.

Enjoy that state of gratitude that feels so good and like,

Oh,

This is really nice.

Or someone did something really kind for you.

Like,

Enjoy that.

Enjoy the nice latte.

Enjoy the nice meal.

Enjoy the holiday.

Enjoy the praise when it comes your way.

But don't cling to it.

These are fleeting states.

They come and they go,

And they come and they go.

Enjoy the peak moments.

But that is a very small percentage of our actual experience.

Because most of our lives,

If we're lucky,

Most of our lives is really just mundane moments.

Just getting up,

Going to the bathroom,

Brushing our teeth,

Showering,

Putting on the kettle,

Doing the dishes,

Driving to go do errands,

Driving to work.

That is most of our experience,

Most of our experience,

If we are lucky,

Is just mundane moments.

And it doesn't matter who you are.

Jennifer Lopez,

She experiences just as many mundane moments.

Barack Obama,

Elon Musk,

The billionaires,

The millionaires,

The celebrities,

Everyone experiences mundane moments.

The Dalai Lama,

Everyone experiences mundane moments.

But we so believe in the lie that I should only be experiencing these peak high moments.

If I'm not statically happy in every moment of my existence,

Then something is wrong.

And so we get back on the little treadmill.

Oh,

I got to get over there.

My happiness is over there,

Creating more suffering.

We're just like Nasrudi.

We're searching on the ground under the light for something that's not there.

This elusive state of happiness.

There is nothing that we can get to that will keep us in a permanent blissful state.

We can never get all of our ducks in a row for that long.

Something will be askew.

But if we live with the belief that my happiness is always over there,

Then all that will happen is when I get there,

I will once again believe my happiness is somewhere else.

If you cannot be happy now,

You will not be happy when you get there.

There's no point making any plans.

If you cannot be happy now,

You will not enjoy when you get to that moment because it will be the present moment.

And all we're doing is training ourselves to believe that our happiness is out there,

That it's somewhere other than where we are now.

And it prevents us from knowing the peace that is always here.

Not that the peace arises and passes away,

It's not conditioned.

The peace that is always here.

We just don't experience it because we're lost in the imaginary fantasy world.

We put our little VR headsets on,

The little me running to get somewhere.

We don't know the peace that is here.

The feeling of contentment,

Of being complete,

Of being whole,

Of being okay.

It is always right here in the present moment.

It was never over there.

It was always right here.

So for us,

It's important that we're clear on what the ego is pointing to is a lie.

When we're chasing happiness,

It's just creating suffering for us.

Nervousness,

Unpleasantness,

Nausea.

Even if you think about,

You go back and you think about some of the big purchases that you've made in your life,

Because I think about this with like buying a car or buying a house,

Mixed in with the excitement is nausea,

Feeling sick to our stomach over it.

I mean,

It really is.

It does not feel good.

It doesn't mean that we don't ever buy these things,

That we don't ever strive to have some goal or to accomplish something.

I'm not negating any of that.

What I'm saying is that stop imagining that there will be a happier you when you get there.

You will feel good.

The sense of accomplishment,

The praise,

It will feel good.

Most of it,

By the way,

Most of that good feeling,

Because simply the ego has dropped out for a few moments.

But the little bit of excitement that's coming around the praise or the approval or the kind of new conditions,

Right?

That will be there anyway.

That will be there anyway.

You don't need to chase this.

All you are doing is setting yourself up for disappointment.

Because when you get there,

You will just move the goalpost again,

And you will never find it.

So what we're saying is,

Look at the lie.

That's what we're doing in this ego series,

To look at the lies at which the ego is pointing to.

Chasing happiness,

Such a big one for us.

Always believing that happiness is just on the other side of this moment.

And that if I can just get there,

I will have the lasting eternal happiness that I seek.

We are actually not seeking that type of excitement happiness.

We want the contrast in our lives.

I know we tell ourselves constantly,

I only want good conditions.

I only want unpleasant conditions.

But the good conditions would mean nothing if we only ever experienced pleasant conditions.

If you were praised every day,

After a while,

It would mean nothing to you.

If you won every day in the stock market,

All your investments go up.

It would mean nothing.

You would even stop checking.

It would lose the thrill and excitement.

This is the right that we are.

The way that we experience the world is through contrast.

Right?

But we're chasing this illusory high the whole time,

Believing that there's some state we can get there,

Get to,

And that we can just stay there.

Which is just a lie stacked on a lie stacked on a lie.

Because nothing,

You know,

None of these external conditions can do this for us.

They're all fleeting.

We're constantly changing as well,

Impermanent.

If it doesn't change,

We'll change.

Right?

As the praise,

If you got praised every single day,

After a while,

You would change.

It wouldn't mean anything to you after a while.

If you got a massage every day,

A three hour massage every day,

You would be bored with it after a few days,

Maybe a week.

It wouldn't mean anything to you after a while.

This is the lie.

It's sending us on this wild goose chase,

Creating suffering,

Anxiety,

Nausea,

Nervous energy now,

Preventing us from experiencing the contrast of the world that we want to experience.

Not the huge highs and lows that we experienced through the ego,

But that just kind of nice,

You know,

Little ups and downs,

But always through those ups and downs,

Right?

You got praise,

That's nice.

Enjoy it.

Don't grasp,

Right?

You get a little criticism one day,

Then two,

Okay.

All right.

Well,

I can feel that.

It's a little unpleasant.

It's okay.

Yeah,

The praise feels better,

Right?

That's okay.

I can feel that.

You know,

I have some good conditions.

The body's feeling good.

Everything's feeling relaxed.

Oh,

This is nice.

No need to grasp at it.

It won't last,

Right?

It's going to change.

We all know this as we're getting older,

Right?

And it's okay when I'm feeling a little discomfort.

Okay,

This won't last,

Right?

This won't last.

I can be with it.

Even in chronic pain,

The intensity changes.

It never stays the same.

I can be with it.

I can ride the wave of it,

Right?

To experience everything,

But to do it more,

What we're really looking for in that more moderate,

Like the highs and the lows,

Enjoying them,

The real extreme highs.

And when there's all this grasping at it,

It doesn't feel good.

But when we have those highs,

When we do have those high moments without the grasping,

It does feel good.

Yeah,

This is nice.

You did a good job.

You know,

Enjoy that.

Enjoy that.

Let it move through you.

Okay.

All right.

That moves through me.

No problem.

I don't have to grasp at it.

There's no suffering in that.

And when something's unpleasant,

Like no problem,

It's not going to stay this way,

Right?

So just allowing everything to move through us,

Knowing the peace that is always here,

That the sense of completeness and wholeness and belonging that we also desperately want to experience is here and now in the non-grasping,

In seeing through the illusion.

Because the sense of separateness,

The sense of emptiness that we feel that we're trying to stuff all these things down,

To try and fill up,

To feel whole,

To try and feel complete,

It is simply arising through these thoughts about ourselves.

In the absence of that,

When I'm present,

When we're here,

Using our senses to look around,

To see,

Not through the lens of the little me up there,

But just see,

To hear,

To feel,

To taste,

To smell,

To use our senses directly.

To use our senses directly.

You no longer feel that sense of lack and separation because you're already whole.

The separation comes from the thoughts,

Right?

In the absence of that,

In reality,

You cannot not belong.

You can think you don't belong.

That's the problem.

We think we don't belong.

We feel whole.

We feel connected.

We recognize we're having this human experience and the human experience is one of ups and downs.

Again,

The ego experiences is all over the place.

It's like a heart attack on an EEG machine,

Right?

But just to ride the waves,

Yeah,

Sometimes it's nice,

Things are pleasant.

But remember,

Most of the time,

It's just these mundane moments,

Just these mundane moments,

Little ripples.

But in all those mundane moments,

Which is probably 70,

80% of our experience,

If we're not pushing back on it,

If we're here,

We're okay.

And it's like,

This is okay too.

I don't have to grasp at the next moment.

There is nothing on the other side of this moment.

Nothing.

It's just here,

Right?

And the more that we know that,

Oh,

You notice the little,

You know,

You're doing the dishes and the mind's,

Oh,

I'll be so happy on the other side.

And you notice it and you go,

Oh,

There it is.

Wow,

So sneaky.

Breathe,

Come back,

Feel it.

It's a little bit uncomfortable.

It's a little bit uncomfortable because you got a little of that,

That tension,

That separation.

It's a little bit uncomfortable inside.

Feel it,

Breathe into it.

A little self-compassional,

Sweetheart,

Kind of got ahead of yourself there.

Come back,

Come back into the present moment.

Ah,

I'm back again.

Doing the dishes is neither pleasant nor unpleasant.

It just is.

In fact,

I would even argue it can be somewhat pleasant when you are present and you're just,

You're really doing your best,

Right?

You're content.

You're really doing your best,

That whatever you're doing,

You're like,

I'm just going to do my best in this moment.

Not look for a future me that's going to be happy over there,

Just doing my best here in this moment and feeling in that moment,

The peace,

The contentment,

The connection,

The belonging.

And when something changes and then there's a little bit of unpleasantness,

It's okay,

I can bear this too.

I can bear this,

It's okay.

There's nothing out there.

It's not in the getting something that's going to bring me happiness or even when we use the word happiness,

It's kind of a loaded word because we do tend to associate it with all these really high excitement states.

I would argue that peace,

Contentment is the highest form of happiness.

And that is always available to us in the non-grasping,

Yes,

Some moments are a little more exciting than others and let them just move through you,

Just yay,

Let them move through you.

And when moments are unpleasant,

Like that's a normal part of life,

I don't have to push back on this.

I can be okay with this too.

I can bear this too.

It's really,

Again,

Most of it is just mundane.

So we're not saying that you can't make plans,

That you can't enjoy some of the nice things in life,

Some of the material things are again,

Achieving something.

Just hold those plans very loosely,

Right?

Make a plan and kind of let's see how it goes,

Let's see how it goes.

Never taking your eye off of what is happening right now.

Seeing how you are right now,

Seeing how you are rising in each moment,

How each of us is arising interdependent,

Interconnected,

Belonging,

Whole,

Safe,

Enjoying the ride,

Enjoying the ride.

We can't enjoy the ride if we think we're on the wrong ride,

If we think our ride should be over there.

The ride is here and now,

It goes up,

It goes down,

It goes to the side.

And the more that we go,

Okay,

I'm not chasing another ride.

This is the ride.

Meredith is the ride.

Casper is the ride.

Kaia is the ride.

Simon is the ride.

Mary is the ride.

I think I saw Kaia said she was doing dishes right now.

That's the ride,

Doing dishes,

Right?

And you enjoy like that's just a part,

It's changing,

Right?

You won't always be doing this and it's changing moment by moment.

And the more that we let go,

The more that we let go and allow everything to unfold,

It doesn't mean that there can't be a thought of a plan or an action,

Intention.

Okay,

Something arose,

Don't get too attached to it.

See how it follows through.

But paying attention to how everything is unfolding because we're so busy making plans,

We never enjoy the plans that we actually make.

We're never there for them.

So let's focus on,

I mean,

Again,

Have the plan,

But keep coming back,

Seeing how this is all unfolding,

How it is arising,

The peace,

The contentment,

The spaciousness,

The ease,

The sense of being okay,

Of belonging that is always here,

Not dependent,

Not dependent on good conditions,

Always here,

Not arising and passing away.

The illusion of the ego,

We go into the ego,

We don't feel the peace,

We come out of the ego,

Oh,

It's here again.

But it's always here.

We're the ones that leave it in our thought created simulation of me,

Instead of the me that is here right now having this experience.

Arising based on causes and conditions,

Millions and billions and trillions of causes and conditions,

That is so much more interesting to see how you are arising in each moment,

All of the previous conditions that led each of us to this moment right now,

To be together here in this moment right now.

It's so much more interesting than this little me up here that thinks it's going to get happiness over there.

The wonder,

The joy,

The awe,

The connection,

It is all right here in this moment.

We cannot enjoy the ride if we believe the lies of the ego of what it's pointing to.

This is what waking up is.

Waking up to the illusion you are not who you think you are.

You are not who you have taken yourself to be your whole life,

This limited,

Small,

Lacking,

Unworthy,

Unlovable little me.

It's a lie.

And this is what we're trying to shed more light on,

To pay attention.

I see you Mara,

Future me is happiness,

Chasing happiness,

Happiness in the next moment.

I see you Mara,

Breathe,

Come back into the moment,

Use a little self-compassion.

If it was a tough moment,

Something got you,

Oh I just got a little ahead of myself,

No judgment for this.

Do not judge yourself for any of this.

Everyone's doing it.

We are the result of our causes and conditions.

We are the result of our causes and conditions.

There's no room for judgment.

That just puts us right back up,

Right?

It's about just seeing it,

Being clear,

There it is,

Believing my happiness is over there.

What am I feeling right now?

As you come in and breathe,

Feel,

Notice like,

Oh my God,

What I took to be excitement,

This actually feels nauseous,

Doesn't feel good at all.

Pay attention.

I mean,

That's how hoodwinked we are into believing what it's pointing to.

We don't even notice how unpleasant the experience is.

We are so believing the fantasy that we don't even notice the suffering that's arising right now,

That is here right now intertwined with the fantasy.

So noticing it,

Pulling yourself back,

Breathing,

Feeling it,

It's just a little bit uncomfortable.

We seek that happiness thinking it's going to take away the unpleasant feeling.

It's just going to perpetuate the cycle.

Come in and feel it.

Breathe,

Use a little compassion,

Self-compassion,

Always a good thing to do as well.

Sweetheart,

You can be with this,

You can feel this,

Right?

Pet yourself.

It's okay to bring you closer to it.

Take those 10 breaths coming into the present moment.

I feel okay again.

A minute ago,

I was believing the little me up there that needed to get again,

So sneaky,

Just,

I mean,

Just,

Oh,

If I can just get home and get the groceries unloaded,

If I can just get to the end of this thing,

If I could,

If this flight would just end,

Just little,

Or if I could just get the luggage,

If I could just get this,

I'll be happy.

It's even in these little things because we do tend to think,

Oh no,

I'm done with the material stuff,

I'm done chasing over here.

And then inevitably,

When we come to spirituality,

We transfer it to spirituality.

Hopefully we're done with that too,

Chasing spirituality because it's never out there.

It's always right here,

Right now.

But it's just these little,

Little ways that we do it in any way that we give some validity to a little me that will be happy when it gets over there,

We perpetuate the cycle.

But when we bring our attention to it,

And that's what we're really doing in this ego series.

So we're on our fifth class today,

And our fourth ego character.

So really looking for the chasing of happiness.

Look at how it pulls you up into the illusion,

Look at what it's pointing to,

It's a lie.

Look at how it's making you feel right now.

Just like with the judge,

Just like with the controller,

Just like with the validator,

Whatever it's pointing to is a lie.

But pay attention to what it's doing to you right now.

You are suffering right now.

And all it is doing is perpetuating the cycle of suffering and stopping you from seeing what is really happening from waking up to the illusion and appreciating the adventure of your life of seeing how it does,

How it is unfolding because you have no idea.

None of us has any idea,

We can have a little bit of a plan,

A rough idea.

But we look back 10 years,

15 and think man,

Man,

Almost everyone could say,

I didn't think I'd be here,

I didn't think I'd be doing this.

It's all unfolding based on causes and conditions,

Let go.

Enjoy the ride.

It's not always an exciting ride.

But it is always a peaceful ride.

If we stop fighting it,

The peace that you really truly are seeking,

The contentment that you really truly are seeking is here and now.

It is never tied to a little illusion of me in the future.

That is all suffering,

Illusion,

Delusion,

Ignorance,

Dissatisfaction,

Dukkha,

Suffering.

What you want is right here right now.

Always available to you,

Not dependent on any external conditions.

Always here,

Right here and now.

You are whole and complete and you belong right here and now.

Reviews

I am loving these talks on the ego. I’ve listened to other talks on the ego. I’ve read books on the ego. But your talks help me understand it better. I am really hard on myself. Just today my good friend told me to stop self logging myself. It made me laugh, but it’s true. My causes and conditions have me trained to think that if I’m hard on myself, that’s how you self improve. I am happy to recognize this is not true. I am creating a playlist with all your ego talks so I can listen to them when the ego whack-a-mole pops up. 🙏✨🪷🕊️🙏✨🪷🕊️🙏✨🪷🕊️🙏🪷🕊️✨ im extremely excited you’re creating a course around these talks. i look forward to diving into it 🥰🥰🥰

Resting & enjoying the now, with you. Here. Deep gratitude 🙏🏼