
Setting Your Intention – A Half-Day Mindfulness Retreat
In this opening session of our half-day mindfulness retreat, we explore the most important questions: What is it that you truly want? Together, we’ll reflect on your deepest intentions and how mini-retreats can help you stay aligned with what matters most. After this session, you’ll have a few hours to practice on your own with guided instructions, before we reconvene for a closing session with Q&A, a discussion on integrating mini-retreats into daily life, and a final meditation. Part 2 of the retreat is titled: Reflecting on Your Intention – Closing the Half-Day Retreat
Transcript
Welcome and welcome because so many of you are starting off the new year on such a good footing by gathering here and and wanting to dedicate some time to your spiritual practice,
To your path,
To doing this half-day mindfulness retreat.
So I do want to acknowledge that.
I think that's very special that that's what you're doing,
That you're you're giving this act of kindness to yourself in spending this time together.
So let me just start with just giving a general outline for what we're going to be doing here together.
I am going to start with a short talk and in the talk I will just talk a little bit about some of the benefits of doing these personal retreats,
Doing these little retreats on our own.
But then I also want to focus mostly on the specific intention for this retreat,
That really what I'm hoping for us to do is to be very clear about what our intention is in our spiritual path,
Why we're practicing,
What it is we're doing,
What it is that we're hoping to get out of our spiritual path.
So I really want to focus that being,
Or sorry,
That being the main focus for our retreat.
So we'll first do a little bit of a talk,
A relatively short dharma talk,
Maybe 20 minutes I hope max,
And then we're going to do a meditation together.
And the meditation is going to be very much a reflection,
A contemplation.
I'm going to ask you different questions to really help focus your mind in the direction of what it is that you want here,
What it is that you are doing here.
And so in the meditation,
To first create that space,
That openness in the mind and the heart,
To plant the seeds of these questions for you to be able to contemplate,
For you to be able to reflect on,
To see what's arising.
And then we're going to address these questions again later,
So don't worry about not writing anything down,
But we're just kind of starting the preparatory practices for really knowing that intention.
And then at the end of the meditation,
I'll just give you some instructions for what to do for the two and a half hours where we're not together,
So that will be the time that you're going to be on your own.
And I will give you the instructions and I'm going to give you all the questions that I ask in the meditation because I am going to ask you to explore those questions more in journaling about the questions.
I am going to emphasize a little bit more journaling in your time in between when we meet.
So,
So ideally,
We're about,
We're together for about an hour now,
So in 55 minutes,
Roughly,
You know,
Massamanos,
We'll,
We'll end and then you'll have two and a half hours on your own and then we'll meet back up on Insight Timer and,
And,
And for the meeting back up,
Because you will have really spent some time getting close to knowing what it is that you want,
Knowing your intention,
Knowing what you're trying to do,
Really thinking about the things that you need to be doing more of,
That you need to be doing less of,
Really getting your actions aligned with your intention.
And again,
Just that clarity of the intention,
So important,
So important.
And so then when we come back,
We'll do a little reflection on that as well,
Maybe some sharing.
And I will just touch on a little bit about boundaries around your intention,
Because we do have to be careful when we live in the world,
When we're not living in a monastery,
We,
It's so easy to get pulled in other directions.
And so I,
I'll just touch just a little bit on it.
I know some of you have done my boundaries course on Insight Timer.
And so,
Um,
I probably would recommend if that's something you're struggling with in,
In holding your intention close,
But I will just touch on it a little bit as well when we get back together.
And then we'll just close with a closing reflection meditation as well,
Because again,
The more that we can hold this intention,
The more that we can,
You know,
Kind of see our intention,
Be so clear about our intention,
Really bringing the light to our intention,
Nurturing our intention,
Thinking about how that we're going to live aligned with this intention.
And then the meditations on it,
It just,
It is such a powerful force that just drives our life in the direction that we want to go in.
So a lot of emphasis on the intention.
And I would really encourage to please come back for the final part of the meditation or for the final session,
Because it really will just be continuing to,
To,
To plant this most important seed,
This most important thing,
Our intention,
What it is that we want here.
So for the,
For doing personal retreats,
And I know several of you have done these with me here,
We did,
I think,
Three or four last year on Insight Timer.
Doing little mini retreats is so important for our practice.
I mean,
First of all,
Excuse me,
There's no,
There's a lot of benefits,
There's no cost to it,
There's no travel involved,
Right?
It's just us taking the time.
It's us saying,
You know what,
I have a free Saturday morning,
I have a free Sunday afternoon,
I have an extra couple hours in the morning before I have to go to work.
And in doing that,
Right,
Setting that time,
That we can really go deeper into our practice,
That we can really disconnect,
We can turn the phone off,
And we can really give that space that we need to go deeper in our practice.
I just want to check real quick,
Is everyone hearing me okay?
It's saying my internet connection is poor.
Hi,
Angie.
But it's,
Oh,
Just went to okay.
Did it slow down for anyone a few moments ago?
Can you hear me?
It's okay,
Aruna,
Thank you.
Oh,
No slowing.
I don't know why it's been doing this lately.
It keeps saying,
It keeps saying it's going to a poor internet connection,
And I don't know why.
Okay,
Everyone,
Thank you,
Thank you,
Thank you,
Thank you.
Okay,
So the mini retreats,
The little personal retreats that we do at home,
They really are the bridge that connects our daily practice,
Right,
The daily meditation,
Our mindfulness practice,
Our compassion practices.
And really,
It's the bridge that connects with the longer term retreats,
Where we go really into the deeper insights,
Where we have the space and the time to go much deeper.
And so we don't make it this kind of this big leap to the longer term retreats that we can only have the deeper insights then,
That in fact,
With the mini retreats,
We can be nurturing the insights that we are having from our daily practice.
So we have the space and the time to nurture those insights,
Really to really deepen them.
And then also just to take that time to again,
Go deeper in a setting that is more conducive.
Because again,
When we do the mini retreats,
We're disconnecting from everything,
We're turning off the phones,
We're not interacting with others.
So our movement is very slow,
Our movements are very mindful,
We're in a much more contemplative state of mind.
And,
And by doing this,
It really,
It really threads the continuity of the deep insights that we're getting in our daily practice from our,
From our also into our,
Our deeper practices,
The longer term retreats.
And it just keeps that continuity of the deep insights going,
Which is so important for our practice.
So today,
What we're going to do for our mini retreat is to really prioritize what it is that we're doing on our spiritual path,
What it is that we want,
What it is that we're hoping to get out of our practice,
And just to really be sure that we are aligned,
That how our actions,
What we're doing each day,
The activities where we're giving our attention,
To make sure that they are aligned with our deepest intention.
And so really just being honest with ourselves also when identifying what is it that we want,
Right?
Do you want just a little bit of peace?
Do you want a lot of peace?
Do you want full enlightenment?
What is it that you want?
It's important that we recognize why are we meditating?
Why are we practicing mindfulness,
Right?
Good morning,
Teresa Marie,
Right?
Why are we doing this?
Because often,
The reason we start meditating,
It often changes as we continue meditating.
And we're not always as clear about that change.
I mean,
Maybe it's a little bit,
We kind of have a little bit of an understanding,
But we really want to check in periodically and be clear,
Why am I meditating,
Right?
I know,
And I am just going to use my own path as an example here.
When I first started meditating,
It was,
Stress would have been the number one reason,
Anxiety,
Depression,
Right?
I mean,
I was not doing well on the inside.
I was doing pretty well on the outside.
I was not doing well on the inside.
And that's why I was meditating.
And it worked.
It really helped with all of these things.
But as I continued meditating,
I was kind of aware that my reason for why I was meditating was changing,
But I wasn't that clear about it.
And so,
When I had been meditating,
So in 2008,
When we had the financial crisis,
That some of you may remember.
And at the time,
My whole career before this was in finance.
I was a partner at a hedge fund.
I was the trader at our hedge fund.
And our hedge fund was imploding,
Like many hedge funds around the world were imploding.
And I had been meditating for about 10 years by then.
And as the fund was going down the tubes,
And I was not distressed at all about that.
Because anytime there was a break,
You know,
A little bit of a slowdown midday,
I was online looking for retreats in India.
And I just thought,
Thank goodness,
This is over.
I'm done with this.
I'm heading to India.
I don't know what the next step is after that.
But I know what I'm doing next.
And so,
When I was on this retreat in India,
And it was a really good retreat,
They gave us little different things,
A lot of meditation,
But there was a lot of introspection,
A lot of reflection.
They were asking us a lot of things as well.
And they would give us these journaling exercises that we would also turn into them at the end of the day.
And one of the journaling exercises was,
What do you want out of your meditation practice?
What are you doing here?
And I can remember as clear as day as I was writing it out and thinking about what is it that I want from my meditation practice.
And I wrote down,
I want enlightenment.
I want to be enlightened.
This path has brought me so much peace.
I cannot,
You know,
Why not go all the way?
And I remember even thinking as I was turning it in thinking,
Man,
They're probably going to think like,
That's kind of audacious to say like,
Oh,
I want enlightenment,
Kind of lofty goals in there.
But I was being honest with myself.
I'm like,
This is what I want.
And by writing it down,
Even though I had some trepidation thinking it was a little bit,
Is that a little bit audacious?
It changed the trajectory of my life.
When I was clear,
This is why I'm meditating.
This is why I'm on this retreat.
This is why I practice mindfulness.
This is why I do compassion practices.
It is all in the name of enlightenment.
And so when I came back to the States,
I didn't go looking for another job at a hedge fund.
I didn't go looking for another job in finance,
Right?
I did inadvertently go back working a little bit at the hedge fund in a much,
Much reduced capacity.
I was only working 12 hours a week.
There was only one other person there had gotten so small at that stage.
And I did it because I needed health insurance.
And in the States back then,
If you had a preexisting condition,
You couldn't get health insurance.
And I'm saying this also because it's important to understand just because we have this idea of what it is that we want,
Sometimes it also takes a couple of years for the conditions to really fully present themselves in a way that works.
But it was still working because I wasn't working that much.
And I was meditating more and more.
And I was spending more time going on retreats.
And I was spending more time dedicated to my spiritual path.
You know,
To the point when I told my boyfriend who I lived with,
I thought,
I'm going to have this big conversation with him and tell him,
I want to go and become a Buddhist nun,
Thinking I'm totally going to shock him.
And he said,
I totally knew that this is where you were going.
It was so obvious.
Everything I had been doing was leading towards that.
And so when I went because I thought,
Well,
You want to be enlightened,
Then you must be you need to be a nun.
So I went to the monastery.
And it was a big deal going leading up to going to the monastery,
Because you don't just arrive one day and say,
Hi,
I want to be a nun,
You have to,
You have to go and spend some time with them first,
Because the community has to decide,
Do we want you to come?
Right?
So there was a lot of leading up to it a lot of closing down of my life of thinking like,
Man,
I'm leaving everything behind.
And yet,
And yes,
That part of me as well,
Something I still practice today.
And so even though it didn't,
I didn't ordain,
And I left the monastery,
But I knew what it was that was important to me,
I knew what my intention was of enlightenment.
And so just because those conditions didn't work,
I didn't throw away the intention,
And I figured out a way to make this work.
I figured out a way and I have been for the last,
You know,
Since I left home 2013,
Been living on my own.
There's been some stops and starts.
And there's it's never this smooth line that,
You know,
There's a lot of trials and tribulations along the way,
A little bit of falling off the path,
A little bit of getting back on,
Right,
There was definitely some challenges in there.
But it was because I was clear.
And I am still clear to this day about what it is that's most important.
I live my life aligned with my intention.
So I do,
As you were saying,
Abira,
I do live a celibate life.
I don't date.
I don't drink.
I don't go out and party.
I'm still in the world.
I'm still,
You know,
I live down here in Mexico,
But I'm in a community.
But I live very much,
Very much dedicated to my spiritual path.
And the boundaries that I said that we'll talk about a little bit when we come back at the end,
Very much an important part of maintaining my intention.
And in fact,
It was my leaving or trying to do this on my own that made me come up with all of these boundaries.
I had to figure out a way to be able to set boundaries.
Because if you're,
If you don't have a shaved head wearing the robes,
People don't understand what you're doing.
And you can't explain to everyone,
No,
I'm on a spiritual path.
I'm not doing this,
Right?
And they don't,
You know,
It doesn't make sense to them.
And so,
Again,
Setting the boundaries,
Like being really clear to myself about what's important,
And then maintaining the right environment,
The right conditions for my practice.
So,
The knowing what it is that we want,
So important,
Right?
And again,
Even if it's just you,
Even if you recognize,
You know what I,
What I most want is just a little piece.
I'm just here to get a little piece.
I want a little bit less stress.
No problem,
Right?
If that's where you are,
It can be quite a relief to know that,
Right?
Because then sometimes we think,
Well,
Should I be doing more?
Maybe I shouldn't.
I don't know.
Should I be going on these longer,
Intensive retreats?
Maybe,
You know,
We kind of get pulled in these directions where we maybe start to feel a little bit guilty because maybe I'm not doing enough.
But if you know,
Hey,
All I want is a little bit of peace.
I just want a little bit of less stress.
I want to be a little bit more patient.
And knowing that,
Great.
Do 20 minutes of meditation in the morning,
20 minutes in the evening.
Do a few little mini retreats throughout the year,
Just on your own,
A couple hours here,
A couple hours there.
Maybe every now and then go on a longer,
You know,
A week-long retreat,
But not an intense one,
Right?
And then you know,
Like,
Yes,
What I'm doing is aligned with what it is that I want.
And if you say,
I want a lot of peace,
Then you know,
You can look at your practice.
Well,
Am I doing enough?
Because 20 minutes in the morning,
20 minutes in the evening probably isn't enough if that's what you really want,
Right?
If you want enlightenment,
We definitely need to look at your practice,
Your daily practice.
Where are you spending your time?
What are you doing?
If this is what's most important to you,
Then you want to make sure that your actions are aligned with your intention.
No one's forcing your intention.
This is your intention,
But it is about helping you to be aligned with your,
That your actions are aligned with your intention.
So the most important thing,
The most important thing that we are going to be doing here today is being clear about your intention,
About what it is that you want from your practice,
Why you're doing this.
So we're going to do a meditation together.
We're going to do it in just a minute here.
And we'll come into the meditation,
And we'll just do some breathing,
Just some gentle breathing to start,
Just to quiet the mind,
Just feeling that body,
The body relaxing into the breath,
The breath relaxing into the body,
Just to really give a sense of quiet and stillness internally.
And I'm going to ask you questions.
And as I ask you each question,
You don't have to force an answer,
But just see what arises.
So it's a very loose,
Spacious,
Soft contemplation.
So just giving you the space to see the answers as they arise more honestly from your heart,
Right?
So in that spaciousness,
In the quiet,
In the stillness,
We're so honest with ourselves in that place,
In the space.
And so I'll ask you these questions and just see what arises,
Right?
And so we'll kind of just be unfolding these questions as we're going.
And I will put all of these questions in the comment section so you guys can do a screenshot,
Because I'm going to ask you to do some journaling on these questions also when you're doing the retreat on your own for the two and a half hours that you'll be on your own.
And again,
After the meditation,
I will give some more instruction on that about how you're going to spend that time alone.
Okay,
So does all that make sense?
Hi,
Isabella.
Okay,
I think we're all clear.
So let's go ahead and do our meditation.
We'll do,
Thank you,
Kelly.
Thank you.
And I'll answer maybe some of the other questions at the end of this.
Oh,
Thank you,
Jules.
Jules,
Hang on.
Why do I?
Oh,
From Greenville.
Okay.
Okay,
So let's go ahead and do a meditation.
And then,
Is that A.
J.
?
Hello,
A.
J.
Welcome.
I'm so glad you're here.
Okay,
Jules,
Not a Republican.
I'm not sure what that means.
So anyway,
Let's go ahead and let's meditate.
And let's start planting some of those seeds.
Let's see what's in there.
Okay.
So just go ahead and close your eyes.
Just make any adjustments you need to in your seat.
Make sure you're comfortable.
Uncross your legs if you're in a chair.
And just bring your attention to your breath.
Just feeling the breath as it moves through your body.
Feeling the body gently expanding on each inhale,
Softening on the exhale.
And as the breath is moving through your body,
Notice how you're feeling inside.
And whatever it is that you're experiencing,
Just give some space,
Allowing it to be here.
And just noticing that sense of relaxing into your experience with whatever it is that's here,
Just feeling the breath moving in and out,
Feeling that sense of spaciousness as you open,
Softening,
Releasing,
Letting go on each exhale.
Now ask yourself,
What is it that brought you to your spiritual path,
To meditation,
To mindfulness?
What was the original reason for doing this practice?
And what is it in this moment that you value the most deeply?
And in this moment,
What is your deepest longing for your spiritual path?
Do you want a little peace,
A lot of peace,
Full awakening?
Are you willing to commit to what it is you most want?
What would it feel like to live fully aligned with your spiritual values?
What habits or distractions in your life take you away from your path?
What practices or rituals could you add that would nurture your spiritual path?
What would it mean to dedicate your thoughts,
Your actions,
Your speech,
All towards your spiritual growth?
And what one word,
Or two words,
Or three words could describe what it is you most want here?
What could you narrow this all down to?
Now hold that word or those few words at your heart center,
In the center of your chest,
And as you imagine that you're breathing in and out of your heart center,
You see those words imprinted there,
The letters expanding on each inhale,
Contracting on the exhale,
And then seeing these words or this word dissolving into your heart center,
Each letter fading away,
And yet these words leaving an imprint here as you plant these seeds,
These most important seeds of your intention.
And allowing your attention to rest in the breath for the last few moments of our meditation,
Giving some space for all of your reflections to settle in,
And bringing your hands to your heart center,
And just taking a moment to have some gratitude for yourself,
For doing this practice,
For focusing on what's most important,
Taking the time,
And really feel that sense of appreciation for the actions that you have already taken.
And when you're ready,
You can open your eyes.
Let's go over the instructions for the time that you're going to be spending on your own for the next couple of hours.
Most important instruction,
Noble silence.
So put your phones on airplane mode.
Oh,
Thank you,
Judy.
Oh,
Is that Judy from Massachusetts?
Oh,
It is Judy.
Thank you,
Judy.
Thank you for the donation.
Yes,
I hope you are well.
Thank you,
Emma.
Oh,
And Christine,
You're very welcome.
So we want to be practicing noble silence for the next few hours.
So phones on airplane mode until you need to come back on insight timer.
We try as best you can to have little interaction with others.
So if you're in a household with other humans,
And maybe you haven't clarified this with them yet,
Maybe you could just say to them,
Hey,
For the next two and a half hours,
I'm going to try and just minimize my speaking and listening because we want to really slow down.
So first of all,
That helps us to slow down when we're not looking at our phones,
When we're not interacting with others.
And we want to use this time to be very introspective,
Right?
I feel like this can be the most important thing you do this year,
How you use this time right now,
What you do with this time right now.
You're welcome,
Abira.
Thank you.
So noble silence,
Very important.
The next thing that is very important for doing personal retreats,
Whether you're doing it on your own or doing them in a monastery,
Your schedule is everything.
I cannot emphasize enough how important it is that we have a schedule.
Even for just two and a half hours,
It is so easy.
No studying,
Abira.
Not for this retreat.
No studying,
No reading,
Right?
What I would say for this retreat,
We want to,
You know,
Too much,
Or I should say,
Excuse me,
We're often taking in so much information,
Even with the spiritual path,
With our practice,
Reading,
Listening to talks.
And what we're trying to emphasize in personal retreats is practice.
We're really trying to emphasize practice.
This is where it's in the practice,
In the spaciousness,
When you give yourself the space and the time.
It's not that there's no thoughts happening throughout here,
But the quality of the thoughts is very different because the intention of what it is that we're looking for,
That the thoughts that are arising are very insightful,
Are very meaningful,
Are very purposeful.
And you want to give the space for those to arise.
If we're always taking in information,
We're not giving the space to have those insights because the insights,
Generally speaking,
They happen when you're on your own,
When you're doing your practice.
We get a little spark of something when we hear something or when we're reading something,
But those big sparks are when we're on our own,
When there's silence,
When there's spaciousness,
When we're able to really connect with the present moment,
To see the habits of the mind,
To be honest with ourselves,
To reflect about what it is that I'm doing.
So we really do want that silence,
Right?
And not taking in information.
So schedule,
Most important.
We want to make sure that we really are following a schedule.
So the first thing that I am going to suggest that you do is that you sit after we hang up,
That you write down,
Sorry,
That you get a piece of paper,
Get a pen,
And that,
You know,
First 10 minutes allocated to creating your schedule,
Right?
Let's put that on the schedule to start with,
Right?
First 10 minutes creating your schedule.
And then to think about,
And let's think about this in the context of,
You've also been sitting for an hour.
So you might want to add in,
One of the first things I'm going to add in on my schedule after writing my schedule is a little bit of mindful movement.
And it could be some,
For you,
It could be some mindful yoga,
It could be some mindful tai chi,
Some mindful qigong,
It could be just some mindful walking,
It could be walking meditation.
So I would want to add in a little bit of movement because we've been sitting for a little bit.
But then what I'm going to ask you to add in after that is,
And these are just suggestions so you can kind of see what works best for you,
But what I would add in after that is about 30 minutes of journaling.
So,
And I'm going to put in,
So someone remind me before we hang up that I'm going to put in the comment section all of the questions that we did in the meditation.
And so really,
So that you can journal and really think about these questions a little bit more.
We've planted some seeds in the meditation,
We've let that kind of meld a little bit,
We've let this really kind of percolate in here.
And now we can write,
Now we can write the answers to these questions.
So again,
Giving a deeper imprint to the answers of these questions.
And so,
And I just want to address Peter's question real quick.
No to the solfeggio sounds as well.
Thank you for bringing that up,
Peter,
Because no music either,
No music either.
I mean,
Of course,
Those are probably some of the nicest sounds one could hear.
But really,
If you're going for a walk,
Be in nature,
Hearing the sounds in nature,
Right?
When we're,
What we're trying to do here is to really be with what's here,
Disconnecting from all of the things that bring us into a more peaceful state and recognizing where that peace is really coming from instead.
That in the silence,
Even as you're walking and there is no sounds,
Or maybe you're walking and there's sounds of cars or there's sounds of other people or something.
I mean,
Hopefully that you're not engaging with them,
Not to have a preference.
Oh,
I want these sounds,
The bird sounds,
And I don't want those sounds,
But just,
Ah,
Sound is arising.
That's how you are arising in that moment,
Those sounds.
So thank you.
I forgot to mention that about the music.
So yeah,
No music as well.
If you're going for a walk,
Just to go for a walk.
So the journaling though,
Is what I would put very,
What about a little mindful playing with the,
Well,
Actually some mindful petting.
Abir,
I'll say some mindful petting,
But again,
We want to make sure this is time for your practice.
So I have three dogs.
If I'm sitting and journaling outside and one of them comes up,
I'm not going to ignore them because one of them has come up.
They want my attention,
Right?
I'm going to mindfully give them some love,
Some connection to see them,
Tell them how much I love them.
You can speak a little to your pets,
But I'm not going to get up and play with them because we want to keep that pace,
That slow pace going.
Okay.
So,
And Jules,
I'm just glad to hear that,
Um,
That this worked for you then.
I'm glad this was a good backup plan.
So other things that you can be putting on your schedule as well.
So after you've done some journaling,
You might at that stage decide you want to go for a walk,
Or you might decide that you want to do a little bit of sitting meditation.
And again,
You can do some just breath meditation.
You can do a mantra meditation.
You can contemplate again,
The questions of your intention and what it is that you're doing here.
But then again,
Like write in,
Is it 20 minutes?
Is it 30 minutes?
Is it 40 minutes?
Like write in how long are you going to meditate?
And of course,
Use your insight timer bell for that.
Um,
You can write in,
Um,
Eating,
Right?
I mean,
Some of us are going to want to do some eating,
Right?
I'm going to want to do some eating at some point here.
So some mindful eating.
So write that in 10,
15 minutes,
20 minutes,
Maybe there's 10 minutes of preparing the food,
10 minutes,
Mindfully preparing the food,
10 minutes,
Mindfully eating the food,
Right?
So we really want to,
And I know it sounds kind of,
Uh,
It's not meant to be strict and overbearing the schedule,
But what it's meant to be is to give a structure.
So it doesn't mean that if you've written 20 minutes for a walk,
And then you're like,
Oh no,
I've got to race back.
Like,
Don't,
Don't do that.
Don't,
Don't make the schedule become a burden.
But to,
To just recognize that you kind of have some parameters in there,
Right?
So if you're a little bit longer on the walk,
If,
If the bell goes after your meditation,
And you feel like you're really in a deep place of samadhi,
Or the,
The contemplation has really taken you somewhere,
Like,
That's fine.
Go ahead and sit for a little bit longer if that's what feels right.
If you're eating and you,
And you allocated 10 minutes,
But because you're eating very slowly,
Very mindfully,
You're chewing all of your food before you swallow,
Right?
You're tasting it,
You're smelling it,
Right?
You're feeling the richness of the moment of the food.
Food tastes so much better when we eat it mindfully.
It's so much better.
The experience is so much richer,
So much more full,
So much more meaningful,
Right?
And so you might find,
Wow,
It took me 20 minutes.
Normally I would race through that.
Wow,
Right?
So you don't have to feel like the schedule is like,
Oh,
It's become this burden to you now.
But just to use it as kind of parameters,
Because if we,
If we don't have the schedule,
What happens is that maybe we kind of say to ourselves,
Well,
I'm going to do some meditation and then I'll do some walking.
And then we just kind of go,
Oh,
You know,
That was all right.
Okay.
I think I'm done.
Right?
The schedule really is like,
It just avoids that kind of the debate that we can do like,
Oh,
I think I got out of enough out of it.
And then we look at the schedule and we're like,
Nope,
You know what's next on there?
Oh,
It's a little journaling again.
Like now she's asked for a little bit more journaling about,
You know,
Just to anything that I didn't,
You know,
Address before.
How do I feel now about the retreat?
What's going on now?
So,
You know,
Maybe it's,
Then you look at it and you realize what else you need to do,
Or it's a mindful movement.
Oh yes,
I put some movement back on there.
I do find that movement is a really important part of our practice,
Right?
Walking meditation is really important because it does give us that opportunity to be walking as we're moving as we're meditating.
And of course,
Seeing how quickly the mind wants to,
We're going somewhere and you keep bringing it back.
But just like some mindful qigong,
Some mindful yoga,
Right?
That stretching of the body,
Feeling the body opening up,
Really in becoming more embodied,
Right?
Less in the thinking,
Like coming more into the body and that spaciousness really opens up some space for the mind,
For the quality of thoughts and the quality of introspection and insights.
So,
So again,
Just having some more mindful movement in there.
I'll have a couple of different mindful movements in there.
Thank you,
Jules,
So much for the donation.
Thank you.
So,
You know,
We have a lot of things that you can have on there.
So journaling,
I would ask that there is a lot of a focus on journaling,
On the questions,
And I'll give them to you in just a moment here.
And again,
You can just take a screenshot.
So,
So an emphasis on that,
But then just filling in the rest of the schedule as best as it as it is for you.
So this has to work for you,
Right?
So don't make it overly stringent,
Don't make it overly tough.
If this is your first Nibiru,
I think you were saying this was your first one and you're a little bit concerned about it.
And first of all,
Normally we do,
I know for some of you,
It's a little bit later.
Oh,
Filippa,
What kind of a,
I know for me on a Mac to do a screenshot is shot as command option escape.
Are you on a,
Oh,
Maybe do you have,
Are you on a laptop?
Are you on a Samsung phone?
Can someone tell Filippa how to do a screenshot?
I don't know on a Samsung phone.
Um,
So,
Um,
So,
So for Nibiru where it's late at night for you and some of you in,
In,
Um,
Well in the UK,
You're okay.
Oh,
Thank you,
James.
Thank you.
Um,
So,
Um,
Oh,
And thank you,
Nibiru,
Thank you for sharing that.
So,
Uh,
Yeah,
If it's a little bit late at night for you,
Maybe you just do the first part of the retreat now.
Maybe you just do the journaling,
Like you write your schedule and then do a little bit of journaling,
Go to bed and in the morning have the rest of the retreat written out for you,
Right?
On how,
How that you're going to,
You know,
You're going to continue on.
So,
So again,
Just having the schedule,
You know,
It's meditation,
Sitting meditation,
Walking meditation,
Walking in nature,
Trying to do it in a way that you're not going to,
Again,
Some of you might be in places where you would see people if you're outside,
But maybe if you don't know them,
It's okay and you can be walking around.
It's not necessarily supposed to be done in the morning,
But generally where we have a,
In fact,
Yeah,
It doesn't have to be done in the morning.
My retreats,
I almost always do them in the morning.
I like to set the tone for the day and,
And so generally I prefer to do it that way,
But absolutely you can do it in the evening.
You can start at five o'clock,
Say it's from five to nine o'clock,
Something like that.
And I would,
What I would qualify,
What I would clarify,
And there's nothing,
There's no science behind this other than my own experience.
Two hours is what I would say is kind of the minimum of what I would qualify as a personal retreat,
Two hours.
And then it can be anything up to four or five hours a day,
Two days,
Right?
But start slowly,
Start slowly,
Build them in,
Right?
Because you'll see just through doing this,
You'll see what,
What a benefit it is.
And especially now where we,
Where I'm giving you,
I'm anchoring you on either side of the retreat,
Right?
We're starting together and then we're going to come back at the end together.
So it kind of gives you those anchors to,
Just to help guide you a little bit,
Because if you're new to this,
It's,
It's helpful.
It's helpful to have that support.
And so that's what this is for,
To really help give you this support.
So that's what we're going to do next.
I'm going to just go ahead and,
And put the questions here.
And don't feel limited by these questions at all,
Either.
If you find you have some good questions come,
Come out of it,
Then by all means address whatever it is that's coming out of it.
Maybe share with us when we come back together,
Because there might be some good questions for some of us to reflect on,
And,
And then I can offer them in a future retreat.
So what you discover could be helpful for others.
Remember,
We're all helping each other here.
So,
Okay,
So those are all the,
The questions.
And so I think you can kind of scroll up and down and get most of the questions probably in two screenshots.
Oh,
And Teresa Marie,
I'm so glad.
Oh,
And Nibiru,
I'm so glad.
Okay.
So,
So a little bit more.
So generally on,
On these mini retreats,
When we do them,
And I do them,
I think last year we did them maybe three or four times.
And we'll probably,
Oh,
Richard,
Do you not see them just above you in the comments?
I've put each question out there.
There's just not a way for me to,
I,
We can't do PDFs or anything on these lives.
So do you see them?
I just posted one question after another in the comments.
Okay,
Thanks.
Okay,
Good.
So just if you can take some screenshots and,
Okay.
Hi,
Gary.
Good to see you,
Gary.
No coming,
No gathering,
Gather,
No coming,
No going,
Gathering with homesung.
I love it.
Teresa Marie,
Love it.
So,
So just again,
First thing we're going to do is the schedule.
And then really with a focus on the journaling,
There's really,
And the journaling also,
Because what I really want us to focus on for our retreat today is this intention of what it is we most,
Most want with our practice,
What it is that we are doing here to make sure that we are very clear about what it is.
And don't set your sights to,
Don't feel like,
Oh,
No,
That's a little bit beyond me.
Whatever speaks to you is what it is that you want.
And then we just want to make sure that we're aligned with it.
Okay.
And then when we come back,
As I said,
When we come back,
We'll do a little bit more of a reflection on this topic.
I will talk just a little bit about,
Just a little bit,
Just a tiny bit about some boundaries in relationship to maintaining your path.
I mean,
This is,
This is one of the challenges of living a spiritual path in,
In the world as a lay person is that,
You know,
We have to really protect,
We have to really protect what,
What it is that we're doing,
Because otherwise we'll just get pulled off so easily,
We'll get pulled off so easily.
And then we'll do a closing meditation.
So,
And I'll just address to Abhira and Sangha,
And sorry,
Tanya.
So Abhira,
Sangha traditionally meant the spiritual community,
The monastics,
But really it's been more broadened out to mean all of the spiritual community.
So all of us that are here together,
This is a Sangha,
Right,
Where it's a spiritual community.
And enlightenment,
And actually a very interesting question,
Tanya,
Because enlightenment can mean different things to us at different stages of our path as well.
And,
And enlightenment for me most recently,
Or I would say most recently,
Maybe in the last year or two,
Has really,
Really been more the definition of nirvana,
Which is the extinguishing,
Right?
That it's not that we're attaining something,
It's the extinguishing of the grasping,
Of the craving,
Of the clinging,
Of the,
Of the little me,
Right?
So it's really the extinguishing of that.
But everyone has,
It's,
You know,
Again,
When we're on the path,
What I do want to be very,
Very clear about with enlightenment is that we don't create some image out of it.
That is one of the most dangerous things that happens on the spiritual path is where we see ourselves as enlightened,
Oh,
Me enlightened,
I'm floating,
I'm,
I,
The words that I speak are so perfect,
I never say anything wrong,
I never upset anyone,
I,
I'm,
I'm perfect,
Right?
This is what we kind of have this ego view of enlightenment that I,
I only feel bliss and peace,
People are only ever kind to me,
There's never a misunderstanding.
And that is not what enlightenment is.
Because we have these human bodies,
Right?
And speech and things happen,
Right?
But it is,
It is the enlightenment,
The,
The seeing through,
So if I would even just take a step back from even the extinguishing,
It's the seeing through this illusion of who I think I am,
As this little separate me that,
That,
You know,
Always wants to be somewhere else,
Always wants to get something unpleasant out of the way,
Right?
This little separate me that's never happy,
It's never content,
It's always worried,
What does everyone think about me?
Oh,
I'm not far enough ahead,
Right?
That little just voice that's constantly going on and on,
That gives the illusion of a little me.
So we could even just describe it as,
It's the seeing that that's not me,
That it is just arising through causes and conditions,
Thoughts,
Thoughts about me,
And then it passes away when those conditions change,
Right?
So the extinguishing,
Right,
So that real extinguishing nirvana is it's,
You're no longer getting caught up in it.
It's not that there's not thoughts still happening,
It's not that there's not even a reference to a self,
Conventionally speaking.
Conventionally speaking,
It's useful to be able to reference ourselves,
To even be able to think about ourselves in the future,
To be able to plan.
There's a usefulness to it,
But there's a not getting lost in it,
That there's somehow me that's going to be happier over there,
That me that's going to,
That can't be happy now because something just happened.
There's a no longer getting caught up in that,
Right?
Because you see through the illusion.
It's like with the Wizard of Oz,
Right?
It's,
You kind of,
When Dorothy pulls back the curtain on the great Oz and she sees this,
Just this little old man pulling a bunch of levers and it's like,
Oh man,
I can't unsee that.
Like I thought,
I thought that's who I was.
I so believed that that's who I was.
And then you realize,
My God,
It was just a,
It was a,
It was no more,
You know,
Concrete than a rainbow,
Just a rising through conditions and changing,
Right?
Just a rising and changing,
And sorry,
Rising and passing away,
Right?
A useful,
It's useful as long as you know it's not who you are,
Because the moment you think you are this little me,
Right?
That sense of separation begins,
Right?
And then we're caught in the illusion,
Right?
And then it matters what everyone thinks about us,
Right?
And it doesn't even matter whether they're thinking about us or not.
Most of the time they're not,
But we're always going through the conversations.
What do they think about me now?
What,
What did I do earlier?
I can't believe I did that.
I'm such an idiot,
Right?
And we just,
We are just spending our lives lost in our thoughts all at this behest of this little fictional me that doesn't exist,
Except for in our thoughts.
And yet we have taken it to be who we are our whole lives.
So enlightenment,
Seeing through that,
Seeing through that illusion,
Not getting caught on it,
Caught in it.
And,
And for Abira,
What I would say there is it's similar to not caring what other people think of us.
I,
I don't think,
And again,
Up until enlightenment,
And I think even as a conventional sense,
It can be helpful,
A helpful cue if we have harmed someone,
If someone is upset with us and we want to reach out and say something to them,
Or we're in a dialogue with them,
And we're kind of trying to clarify our situation with them,
It can be helpful because we don't want to cause any harm to anyone,
We don't want to cause any suffering.
It doesn't mean that we don't,
It doesn't mean that we don't,
We live in this conditioned world,
It's just impossible to avoid that entirely.
But when we're having that dialogue,
Right,
Understanding with wisdom and compassion,
Yeah,
I don't want to hurt someone's feelings,
If I can try and clarify this,
I'll do my best to do it.
But if I can't,
And,
And many times there's situations where we can't,
Someone's just,
Nope,
They're upset,
It's too late,
Right?
And so not to,
And this is what I would say before enlightenment,
Is making sure that we don't pretend that something doesn't bother us,
Because we think we're further along on the path,
But to honor that feeling of disappointment,
Of feeling upset,
Of feeling that remorse for what happened,
And even though you tried to fix it,
You couldn't,
Right,
To feel that and to really bring your attention into that feeling and embrace it with self-compassion,
So that it moves through you,
Right,
Moves through you with wisdom and compassion,
Instead of pretending,
Oh no,
I'm further along the path,
It doesn't bother me anymore,
Right?
Way too much we see that,
Way too much in this path we see that.
So not denying where we are and recognizing the right response as well.
I hope that helped,
I hope that helped.
Whose question was that?
Was that,
Oh,
Tanya,
Tanya,
So I hope that helped.
Holly,
So we'll be back in two hours and 20 minutes,
So just take note of what time it is now,
And we'll be back in two hours and 20 minutes.
And just as a real quick,
And I'm just going to do a couple more questions,
But I'm going to end us here in a couple minutes,
Because I do want to allow time for the retreat.
And then also afterwards,
On the second half,
I'll be happy to stay around longer.
You know,
Does this heal trauma?
It can be an aid,
But trauma should really be dealt with a therapist.
Trauma should be dealt with a therapist.
We don't want to use spirituality and enlightenment.
In fact,
In fact,
Sorry,
Meditation and mindfulness of itself can be helpful,
But if you are trying to heal trauma by going on a path of enlightenment,
It is not going to work.
It is not going to work.
You can't see through the illusion of a traumatized ego.
Eventually,
It will catch up with you.
So it's so important that we understand that we're not trying to bypass feeling our hurt.
You guys hear me,
I talk about this constantly.
On a spiritual path,
It does not mean that we don't feel our hurt.
It does mean,
Sorry,
It does mean that we feel our hurt,
That we feel our pain,
That we feel our doubts,
Our unworthiness,
Our loneliness,
That we feel our jealousy,
Our comparing,
Right?
We feel it.
We don't get obsessed in our thoughts about it,
Right?
We feel it,
And we embrace it,
And we move closer to it.
But for big traumas,
Then that absolutely needs to be dealt with a therapist.
Yeah,
So Emma,
So I hope you're going to come back for the second part because I am going to talk a little bit about that with boundaries around how do we do this because others are going to.
It's a definite challenge.
It's a definite challenge for us,
And I know there's other people on the path that have this challenge as well in their home life,
So we'll address that at the end.
Yes,
Thank you,
Kelly,
For reaffirming that as well.
It doesn't work,
Right?
Okay,
So we have 1.
30 Eastern time.
No,
I think it's because it's 12.
30.
Oh,
Yes,
Yes,
Yes.
1.
30 Eastern time because it's 11.
30 Mountain time,
And then 10.
30 Eastern Pacific time.
You're right,
Jules.
Okay,
Okay.
Okay,
I think yes,
Antonia,
So if that helps you,
Seeing through,
Yes,
Exactly.
And as I said,
It was only the last couple years where it was finally extinguishing,
So even our definitions kind of we get closer and closer to it,
But it's where we are in the beginning,
Where we are at that time,
Where we are at this time,
In this moment,
Right?
So and I'll just say to Abeer's question because I know you asked this yesterday.
I'm sorry I didn't get back to it.
Is it possible to be celibate in your 20s and 30s?
Yes,
I'm sure there's people Yes,
Anything's possible.
Almost anything's possible.
So yeah,
I mean,
There's plenty of people,
Plenty of nuns and monks in their 20s and 30s that are celibate,
Plenty of people that are lay people that are,
Right?
It's not easy.
It's not easy.
It's easier in your 50s and 60s to do it.
I'll tell you that it is easier.
But yeah,
But again,
I think that's kind of putting the cart before the horse.
So,
Or is it the horse before the cart?
Whichever way,
You know,
We don't want to be so worried about some things like that.
And if it's something,
Let's focus on what it is the intention that you want and be thinking about the little things that you can be doing.
So again,
Just a little bit,
One more minute on this.
When in the questions in the journaling,
When I'm asking you about,
You know,
What what changes could you be making?
What things could you be adding on?
Don't make anything drastic.
Don't make anything drastic,
Right?
Really think of it with slow incremental changes,
Right?
And all of this is kind of an aspiration of like,
Okay,
This is what it could look like.
But now,
Now what is the one thing I could do?
You know,
How could I,
How can I start to implement this now?
So we don't ever want to make,
You know,
With anything that we're trying to make change,
We don't want to,
We don't want to make it drastic,
Right?
Because if so,
Then we tend to give up.
We tend to give up because those old habits are so strong.
They're so strong.
So we want to be very careful.
And like you're saying,
Holly,
Like a gentle leaning in,
A gentle leaning in.
Okay.
So,
Philippa,
We're in the beginning now.
So now we're going to,
We're going to end now in a minute.
And then,
And then we will meet back in two hours and 15 minutes,
Wherever you happen to be in the world.
Two hours and 15 minutes.
We'll meet back.
Okay.
And thank you,
Catherine.
And thank you,
Angie,
For your words to Abira.
Thank you.
Appreciate that.
Okay.
So,
And do come back.
I do hope you come back and join us for the ending session because I think it really will help seal this in.
And again,
We'll have,
We'll be able to address some questions and to really,
Really just help,
Really leave a deep imprint for us about what it is that we're doing,
Really.
And,
And also to have those definitions very clear for us,
Very clear for us about where it is that we're going.
Okay.
So thank you all.
Thank you.
Thank you,
Tanya.
Thank you,
Emma.
Thanks for putting the UK time in there.
I appreciate that.
And happy private retreating for the next two hours and 13 minutes.
And I will see you,
See you guys shortly.
Thanks,
Karen Marie.
Thank you.
For those of you doing the retreat on the recording,
Just take the two and a half hours to set aside this time for your private retreat.
And then you can still come back to the second half for the recording.
And that track is titled,
Reflecting on Your Intention,
Closing the Half Day Retreat.
Enjoy your retreat time.
