Moving Closer To What You Most Want

When we we are clear about what is most important to us, then our next step is to start identifying the daily habits, patterns, and things that we do that take us further away from it. Identification is the crucial step. You needn't worry if you're not ready to give up a habit yet. Your job is simply to be honest and identify it - that's all.

Plant the seed again and again - and the rest will take care of itself.

Transcript

So in the I just thought I would add on something as well about when we ask the questions in the meditation What is it that you want more than anything else in the world for yourself?

And again,

I'm pointing you inwards Peace joy love connection belonging might be awakening enlightenment You know,

Whatever word speaks to you that is the most important thing you you you no doubt Have secondary things that you want in the external world but whatever you want in the external world is because you think it's going to bring you an internal state So when I ask the question,

I'm saying let's let's just get let's cut cut to the chase Let's cut out the middleman here and let's focus on what's most important.

You can still Pursue your secondary goals But not with the mind that they're going to bring you this feeling because though they can bring it to you for a temperate Temporarily,

That's it a lot of chasing for a temporary feeling.

That's not really coming from the object From getting the object from getting the praise from getting the promotion the success The good feeling is the absence of the chasing so What I'm suggesting is like let's focus on what it is.

That's most important and To be very clear about that because if we're not clear about that answer It's so easy to get distracted in the world.

We live and it's so easy to just to We say one minute.

I want Peace and then the next moment we're pushing back on something because I'm not feeling peace Okay,

And it's like because I'm feeling a negative pull today I'm feeling something and we do feel right instead of going.

Ah,

I want peace Maybe I should just surrender to this feeling right now.

Allow it to be it's gonna work its way through And I can find the peace.

Ah,

It's still here,

Right?

So in the second question when I ask you What is it that you could be doing more of or less of that would move you closer to it?

To what it is.

You most want I am just asking you to be honest with yourself About how you're spending your time and I say most of the times I'll say and I think I said it today Doesn't matter if you don't want to do more of it or you don't want to do less of it Don't worry about that But I debt being honest with yourself about it.

And even if it's the same answer every day Maybe it's get off of social media,

Right?

Maybe it's stop drinking stop doing drugs.

Maybe it's you know,

Meditate more Have more quiet less Netflix something along those lines Even if you're not yet well willing to give it up every time you say that you are planting a seed and Then you say it enough times and you find yourself reaching For that thing that you know is taking you further away from what you most want Further away from what you most want Because none of those things bring you closer to peace and what we all want is some the word that we use to describe it Most commonly is peace But again,

I use offer the other point.

It's belonging love connection Again these states that we associate with all of that awakening enlightenment Self-realization To know God to know the mind of God,

Right?

I mean we all use different words different ways to point to the same thing that we want Is to come back to our true nature like that's what we're pointing to right and yet so much of our day is spent in Activities that take us further away every time if you go on social media It's taking you further away from what you most want you can give yourself all the reasons in the world Of why you're on there,

But it's taking you further away.

I Mean I say to people and I have to be on I have a social I have a so Facebook social media account I post videos on there.

I hope I can say that But that's that's it.

I mean I rarely or if I have a dog that needs to get I have a rescue Maybe I'm looking for someone but I will barely I go on Facebook and get off of it as if I'm gonna pick up the plague I Don't want to go on there.

It's just it takes it.

It's a Minefield and it's the same with the news and it's the same with YouTube and Netflix and Alcohol and drugs,

I mean all of these things Take us further away from what it is We most want and so this doesn't mean in the beginning you give it all up you go.

I'm giving it all up today All right,

I wouldn't say that because I think that's extreme and I don't think it lasts But to know where you're you're if you're spending a couple hours a week on social media cut it down to five,

You know five minutes a day or something If you're if alcohol or drugs is a problem Right that every night if we're drinking or doing drugs You're taking yourself further away from it.

So just recognizing that just to perhaps limit it News just slowing down on the news initially or checking the news sources that you're getting the news from is it agitating you?

Most news is meant to agitate us because then it keeps our eyeballs on it And that's the objective of any form of media is to keep our eyeballs there So the more agitated we get the more enraged we get the longer our eyeballs stay there and the further we get From the thing we most want We always say I don't have enough time Right.

A lot of us have more time than we realize setting boundaries Around I mean we can't be If you're always socializing If you're always socializing always talking always out always about It's very hard to come in and and Have that sense of awareness to know when you're feeling agitated or feeling that negative pull to have enough Wherewithal awareness and mindfulness to be able to go.

Ah,

I see what's happening I need to let go if we're rushing from one thing to the next it's very hard to be mindful very hard And we tend to fill up our schedules with rushing from one thing to the next Taking us further away from what it is.

We must want And yeah,

Sure.

There's days where we are a little busier than others.

Of course.

We all have days like this But to balance those out with the times when we do have a little bit more When we could have more space in our calendar,

But we fill it up simply because someone said well,

Are you free?

Not even thinking like well,

Yeah,

There's space there.

But but I need some time for myself.

I Need more time for practice.

I need more time just to be in silence If it really is the most important thing and it is it is peace joy love connection.

This is what we want We have to be careful with our time where we're spending our time We have to be honest with ourselves and even for those of you that have maybe given up a lot of those things the external worldly Pursuits Then it's you go to the next.

Okay.

What else could I be doing less of?

Oh just less looking for praise Less comparing less judging,

Right?

Then we were even just bringing it in to another layer of like,

Okay now Let me just even bring it to another layer.

Where does the mind where's where does the habit keep going?

Where does it keep going because it's always taking me further away So again,

You're putting a spotlight on the things the habits thought habits Habits of How we spend our days how we spend our time You're putting more of a spotlight on it because something has to change you can't get up and do the same thing day after day And expect that anything is going to change it won't change And of course all of you are on a Dharma talk right now you meditated Probably many of you most of you probably have very regular meditation practices so yeah,

I mean if this is where you're you're spending your time on a On a Tuesday afternoon or a Tuesday evening,

Maybe a Wednesday morning if you're down under Right,

It's like you you this is where you want to put your time so great fantastic So just keep looking where more ways that you can that you can More ways that you can find time to dedicate towards what it is.

You most want One of the benefits of a monastic life is that very much your life is dedicated to your spiritual practice and Although as I say that because for those of you that know that I moved to a monastery a Theravada Buddhist monastery in 2013 to ordain and I Was so sure that I wrapped up my whole life left everything behind shaved my head I was like,

Oh,

I'm doing it and And then I left Because and and we do have to be very careful this and I did find this out later It was a relatively new monastery.

There was so much work to be done and I'm not afraid of hard work I'm not afraid of hard work.

But I mean I had no time to meditate I was I was exhausted by the end of the day.

We were spending so much time working and Because I was the monastic aspirant there.

I was the one that could drive the other monastics couldn't drive So I would be the one going and getting errands all day and I thought what am I doing?

I had more time before to practice I'm barely getting an hour or two in a day and And it was interesting.

So yeah,

I left I was like,

Well,

This isn't helping my practice at all But generally speaking in most monastic settings there's a lot of time for our practice and Yet in in our when we look in our layperson lives We can carve out a fair amount of time for practice we can carve out a fair amount of time if we're being honest with ourselves and That is the key.

We have to be honest with ourselves about where we're spending our time and even so again as I said Don't worry about it.

If it's not something you're willing to give up yet Don't worry about it,

Or if it's not something you're willing to do more of yet Don't worry about that.

Just keep saying it and I know because in my own experience I would just keep saying it I would keep saying it and keep saying it And then eventually it's like okay now that habits gone Okay,

One other habit needs to go and it's just it's a continuous like you Because if we do this all in one go if we do it too quickly We will revolt and we don't have the monastic setting the support in order to help us through that We do have our sangha which is great which is what this is for and twice a week We're on insight timer.

And of course,

There's a sangha every hour on insight timer So you do have the support of a sangha and so reach out to any teacher like to help you But but to do this wisely That the the path that's being taught here,

You know very much a Buddhist path Is the middle path right?

Don't to not go extremes to not go into extremes of one aside to the other Right,

And that's what the Buddha's past path was about.

He did that.

He went from one extreme to the other and then Then went down the middle way So we can be taking that to heart in our practice as lay practitioners But being honest with ourselves about how can I slowly over time?

Keep cutting out some of the things that aren't bringing me closer to what I want closer to to know my true nature Because there's just so much there's so we we can be so easily distracted in the world so easily distracted by it Even in monasteries now because they've all got the internet I mean in fact They shouldn't because you can see it's happening a lot of distraction happening I mean,

Let's use the internet wisely for meetings like this Right coming on to insight timer And But being really careful about how we use technology about where we're wasting our time.

We say we don't have enough time If you're a single mom with with three jobs,

Like you may not have enough time,

Right?

There are some situations,

Of course But if you're here on a Dharma talk today,

You have time you're doing this great Fantastic.

I mean seriously,

Do you know how few people in the world?

Spend their time doing this their free time Very very few.

I mean we've got Trying to see how many people on here 44 64 people on here right now 8 billion people on the planet will assume there's a bunch of other insight timer classes going on right now But it is a very very small percentage and also all the Dharma centers out there Right so that you're on here right now This is where you want to spend your time So,

Okay great What else can you be doing just to keep?

Identifying it first just ask the question What is it or answer the question ask the question answer the question and you will eventually you'll find yourself You're going to reach for it and you think Maybe I won't maybe I'll just set the phone down.

Maybe I'll go for a walk instead look up at the sky Look at nature Right.

Look at the colors the birds the dogs Right the sounds the butterflies the bees.

Let me just look at all this so Planting every time you answer the question.

It doesn't matter if it's not something you're willing to give up or to Do more of yet.

Don't worry about that,

But keep identifying it being really honest with yourself be honest with yourself We have to be honest with ourselves we all do stuff that takes us away we all do stuff We all do stuff Trust me.

There was a lot of doing stuff here for a long time a lot a lot and slowly it was because at the same time as we're changing the habits and and Kind of on the external changing our habits on some things.

We're also we're finding more of that peace inside and You really do use you notice that shift it's like I feel I maybe you notice that little sense there's a little bit of negativity one day and and you feel that pull because if I could just get to the internet to Social media or to some news item.

I'll feel complete and you feel the pull and you go Hmm,

I don't think that's what it is.

I keep saying to myself to stop going there That's where I go every time I get stressed every time I get tired But it actually never completes me So maybe instead of following through with that habit Right.

I'll just be with it.

I'll be with the discomfort for a few moments Feel it accept it surrender to it and Then notice.

Oh the peace is here The peace is here Or even when we're feeling we are still we're very present.

We're feeling very peaceful But there's still a little something in the back of our mind like it's time It's two o'clock you haven't checked the news yet,

Right?

And you can feel that point.

It's like I don't want to go there.

What look at the news possibly could tell me If something I needed to know something someone would tell me right?

So just being really Honest with ourselves and don't worry if you don't want to do it yet Yeah,

I promise you you're planting a seed every time you say it.

So these questions we ask in almost every meditation There's a few meditations where I don't ask the question but as Much as you can ask this question these two questions.

What do you want?

Be crystal clear be crystal clear.

The answer will change from day to day from year to year It will become more refined.

It will become more The pointer will become it will it will become more Well,

It shifts it just shifts because it does become more refined It does become clearer what it is Like we use these broader sense words peace or joy or love connection and then sometimes it it just starts to come in and we Go.

Oh,

No,

Actually,

That's it.

Oh Yeah,

That's it.

Oh,

Yeah,

That's it And it keeps kind of leading us along through the the answer is to point you in the right direction And then the second question is to say,

Okay,

What can you do plant the seed just plant the seed?

That's all you need to worry about.

That's all you need to do is just plant the seed The rest will take care of itself

Reviews

After listening to this, I deleted the game on my phone that was taking far too much of my time and attention. I have a chronic condition that restricts my activities and I convinced myself for so long that this game helped with mental agility. Maybe it did, but it was mostly a distraction from living life more fully. Thank you for today's inspiration 🙏

Thank you, this has allowed me to re look at my goal for financial freedom, to rather focus on what will financial freedom bring me.

Terrific, thank you. Wishing you a very Happy and healthy New Year 🌟 😁