Being rejected,
Feeling rejected,
Being rejected is very,
Very painful.
Every one of us feels the pain when it's happening.
If we are really genuinely being rejected in that moment,
It hurts.
And I am in no way suggesting that we gloss over feeling rejected,
Feeling the pain of being excluded,
Of being ignored,
Of being rejected.
Absolutely not suggesting that.
Self-compassion,
Sweetheart,
This hurts.
This is really painful.
And keep breathing into it and feeling it,
Right?
Because again,
We just,
We've got to bring ourselves into the experience of it in a kind and loving way,
Not in a way that terrorizes us.
And that imagines because one person rejected me,
That must mean everyone's going to reject me.
And that must mean my life is over because that is not the truth.
But we all get rejected from time to time.
It sucks.
Let's be clear.
It sucks being rejected.
But every one of us experiences it,
Not every day,
Fortunately.
But we all do experience it from time to time.
And we have got to be super kind and loving and be with that experience too.
Pet yourself,
Sweetheart,
This is tough.
This hurts.
Right,
Bring yourself into the experience,
Feeling it,
Breathing it,
You know,
Breathing into it,
Your hands on your heart.
It's okay,
Sweetheart.
I love you.
You're okay.
Let's just be with this.
This hurts,
Right?
So again,
That you allow that initial shock of the rejection to kind of taper down a bit,
Right?
Because it is a shock.
We're not expecting to be rejected.
And it is a shock.
It's a big shift in our neurochemistry.
With death,
It's like a big actually pull of the dopamine,
Like it feels like a punch in the gut.
We feel threatened.
We feel as though our very existence is being threatened.
So we want to be with that feeling.
Breathe into it,
Talk kindly to ourselves.
Just keep breathing.
10 breaths.
I always think 10 breaths is a good rule of thumb.
Just to feel it.
I'm just going to trust what Meredith said here for 10 breaths,
And then you can go back up to panicking if you want.
And take those 10 breaths,
Petting yourself,
Telling yourself it's okay to feel this,
It's okay to feel this.
Even in another good self-compassion practice,
You know,
Just like me,
Millions of people around the world right now are feeling rejected.
Because the reality is in this moment,
Millions of people around the world are feeling rejected.
It's a normal human experience.
And our thoughts,
Our ego thoughts,
The little me,
The separate self,
Try and make us feel like we are the only person in the world being rejected,
And that there is something fundamentally wrong with us,
Making us feel even more helpless,
More like a victim,
More badly about ourselves.
And so when we even just say,
Just like me,
Millions of people around the world right now are feeling rejected,
Are now doubting themselves,
Right?
To remember this is a normal human experience,
To come in and feel it.
And so that it just comes down enough where it's like,
Oh,
Phew,
Okay.
I'm still not thrilled about it.
I'm not just going to,
After 10 breaths,
Go,
Oh,
Okay,
Done with that,
Carry on,
Right?
It still hurts,
But it's manageable.
And when the waves come on,
And that fear comes back again,
Oh,
No,
And you remember you were rejected,
It's like,
It's okay,
You can feel this,
You keep bringing it back.
We have it.
Our practice is to be able to be with our feelings,
Whatever they are,
Whatever is arising.
If it's rejection,
If it's criticism,
It's doubt,
If it's sadness,
If it's anxiety,
If it's stress,
If it's fear,
If it's anger,
If it's jealousy,
If it's envy,
Whatever it is,
Is to be with it and feel it.
Because it's our thoughts that are making the story seem so,
Oh,
My God,
And the little me up here that's rejected,
Right?
But when we come in and we feel it,
The little me that was so hurt and despondent up here is gone.
Now,
Yes,
There is still something here that is arising in this moment as feeling something unpleasant,
The experience of rejection.
Not solid,
Not independent,
But that's what's arising in this moment.
The whirlpool is arising as that in this moment.
But the more that you breathe and you're with it and you're kind and you're comforting and you're reminding yourself just like me,
Millions of people,
The whirlpool starts just to lose some of its energy,
Some of its power,
Right?
And so,
You know,
We want to kind of get back into that flow again.
There's still a little bit there or the eddy or,
You know,
There's still a little bit of it there.
But it's like,
It's okay.
It's okay.
I can feel this.
I can feel this.
This is normal.
This is normal human experience.
And again,
There may be something to do.
But we don't want to do it from a place of fear,
From a place of separation,
Right?
There may be something to do,
There may not be something to do.
But even if there is something to do,
And we feel like I probably need to go and speak with that person,
Or maybe I need to go and apologize something.
We don't want to do it from a place of,
I need you to make the little me feel better because it can't handle the fact that it's been rejected.
Because what if they don't accept my apology?
Or what if it's a situation I can't fix?
We want to make sure that if there is something to do,
We're not doing it from this place of,
Oh,
My God,
Please help me to feel okay again.
You can make yourself feel okay again,
Because you are already whole and complete.
So using our practice for us to be okay.
And then to have wisdom and compassion to say,
Okay,
I might need to go do something.
I might need to go clean something up.
I might.
But I can't control the outcome.
So I'm not doing this based on,
I can't stand this little image of me that's rejected,
And I need someone else to somehow fix it for me.
Because if that's the case,
Then it's always going to be someone outside of us to fix us,
To make us feel whole.
And we don't want that.
