Being Free Of The Ego's Insatiable Need For Validation

In class 2 of our Ego Series, we are looking at the different ego characters to be more transparent about how they catch us off guard and trick us into believing our happiness is out there, dependent on something/someone.

Transcript

We are in the midst of our ego series.

And last week where we were really looking to understand the ego,

How the ego is arising,

How the ego is an illusion.

And this week,

And in the subsequent,

I think,

Nine weeks,

We'll be looking at the different characters of the ego,

The different incarnations or personalities of how the ego arises,

So that we can be clearer.

Because it's not just that the ego is an illusion,

Because it is,

Right?

It's a thought-created me that just,

In my thoughts,

I think about myself and myself in relationship to something else.

And I create this little separate me in my mind,

A me that needs something outside of itself.

And so it's not just that we believe the illusion of me,

We believe what it's pointing to.

We believe that if I were to get over there,

Or get this object,

This experience,

This praise,

Or to push away something that's unpleasant,

Then somehow I would feel complete.

So we're trying to really pull back the veil of illusion on the ego,

Not just that it is an illusion,

But how it distracts us,

Right?

Trying to give the secrets,

Like when the magician comes and tells us how they fooled us,

That,

Oh,

Well,

I was distracting you over here.

And while I was distracting your attention over here,

I was doing the trick over here.

And so the ego is distracting us,

We're so distracted,

We don't look back on it and see the illusion.

And I do want to also mention what we are doing here and seeing through the illusion of the ego,

We are looking through the lens of spirituality.

That is very different than how therapy handles the ego,

The sense of self,

The separate self.

Whereas in therapy,

They're looking to heal the ego,

To integrate the ego.

Typically,

Because someone's had some trauma,

They've had some difficulty,

And now they're having difficulty in their lives,

Because the ego has gotten so ridiculously out of control that they can't maybe have healthy relationships,

Or hold down a job,

Or it's just causing a lot of anxiety or depression.

So in therapy,

They are trying to fix the ego to be okay,

To really find your sense of self,

A good sense of self,

I think,

In the ego.

And in spirituality,

What we're doing is we are looking through the ego to see how it is an illusion,

How it's not real.

Because that's where the liberation is,

That's where the freedom is,

To see that we are not the ego.

So spirituality and therapy,

Approaching the ego,

Approaching the separate self in different ways,

And with different outcomes as well.

And so I just want to be clear on that,

Because when people come to spirituality,

And they have had some trauma,

And they haven't dealt with it with a therapist,

Or in a way that,

In a healthy way,

In a skillful way,

It's not a healthy leap to go to seeing through the illusion of the ego.

And so,

Often what happens when people do that spiritual bypassing,

Right,

Not doing the hard work that's necessary,

They end up getting going further backwards,

Right?

It ends up at some point,

They just can't get any further,

And not only can they not get any further on the spiritual path,

It can often have serious setbacks.

So I just want to be clear about that.

We are treating the ego,

The sense of separate self,

Through the lens of spirituality,

We are looking for liberation,

For freedom,

What we're doing here.

And so to be clear,

The ego is an illusion,

Whether you're a therapist or a spiritual teacher,

It's still an illusion.

It arises through our thoughts,

Right?

Thoughts about me,

What do I want,

What do I not want?

And in that illusion of believing a little separate me up here,

More than I believe the reality of me here,

I feel the sense of lack,

Of being small,

Of feeling helpless,

Of feeling separate,

Of feeling somehow unworthy,

You know,

All of these,

Feeling fear,

And that we believe whatever the ego is pointing to.

And so today,

We are going to look to where the ego is pointing in the form of the validator.

The ego's endless need for validation,

For feeling,

For getting the desire to be praised,

The desire to be approved of,

To be included,

To be accepted.

And then on the other side of the desire to be approved of,

To be praised and included is the fear of the criticism of the blame that I won't be included,

The non-approval.

So it's arising in this way.

And what it's projecting is that my happiness is dependent upon what everybody else thinks of me,

Or what I perceive,

How I perceive everybody else thinks of me.

And so we can see this really sets us up for a lot of anxiety and fear and insecurity,

Because we've given all of our sense of well-being or happiness to everyone in the world.

Because the ego,

It doesn't just need a few people's approval,

It needs everyone's approval.

And so the sense that the need for validation comes out in us in a lot of ways,

In a lot of sneaky ways.

And I will just add,

As we go through the different ego characters,

Personalities,

You may find that some characters don't resonate quite as much as other characters.

But I would just caution you to not push back on it too quickly.

Because first of all,

That's the ego pushing back on it.

And it's so subtle,

It's so sneaky.

This may not be a dominant way in which your ego comes out.

But in any way your ego is coming out,

You are still getting lost in the illusion.

And so we want to be really,

Really clear about that.

It's so sneaky,

It's so insidious,

Where it may not seem so obvious in the beginning,

Or you may think no,

That's not me at all.

Just be a little patient,

Be open,

And just to see,

Just to see for yourself.

If it's not,

Great,

Fantastic.

That's one less ego character to deal with.

But just have a,

Have an open mind,

Okay?

So in the,

In the ego,

The ego character,

The validator,

The need for validation,

Of course,

The illusion there is that I just need someone outside of me to accept me,

To approve of me,

I need that.

I need someone to praise me right now,

And then I can feel good.

I need someone to reply to my text,

Because maybe I texted them a few hours ago,

And now I'm feeling,

You know,

Maybe I sent them a text,

And there was a joke in there.

And they haven't responded.

And I feel this sense of,

Oh,

My God,

Did I say the wrong thing?

What's wrong with me?

Or,

Or we're in a situation where maybe we're with a group of people,

And,

And we can feel like one person just isn't looking at us the entire time.

Even when we're speaking,

We kind of feel the sense that they're looking away,

And they're not engaging with us.

And we feel so,

So assuredly,

In this moment that if I could just get them to look at me,

If I could just get their attention,

I would feel okay again.

Or if I could just get that praise,

If I could just get that text responded to,

I would feel okay again.

But the problem is that even if we get their attention for a moment,

Or we get the text reply,

We get the praise,

Even if we get it,

It's so fleeting.

It's just a moment,

It arises and it's gone.

And then it's like,

Oh,

What next?

What next?

Because we're just perpetrating this feeling of I'm lacking,

I'm not enough.

And so believing that if I get the praise outside of me,

If I get the thing outside of me,

Then I will feel complete.

But all we are doing is for a moment we feel okay,

For a moment.

And the reason we feel okay is not because they gave us their attention,

Or we got the reply to the text,

But because for a few moments,

The thought went away that I was incomplete,

And that I needed something outside of me.

And so it just starts right back up again,

It starts right back up again.

And we just get caught in this vicious cycle of always needing others' approval,

Others' praise,

Others' acceptance of us.

Where we're in a conversation with someone,

And not like our best friend,

Or someone like that,

Or someone we're close with,

But someone,

Maybe it's an acquaintance,

Someone we've just met,

Or someone we've wanted to get to know.

And we can feel that need of the ego to want to impress them,

To want to prove to them who we are,

Right?

That we're going to prove to them how educated we are,

Or how smart we are,

How witty we are,

How spiritual we are,

How peaceful we are,

That we have this agenda of wanting them to see us in a particular light.

And all we're doing in that situation is just,

We're not really present,

We're not paying attention to the conversation,

We're just lost in our heads trying to look for that opportunity to speak about ourselves.

So not engaging in a authentic,

In a genuine way,

Not sharing,

Not learning,

Not having a meaningful conversation,

Not feeling that sense of connecting that we can feel when we really are genuinely connecting with someone.

But instead,

Just feeling this sense of uncertainty,

The sense of something's not right,

I need their approval.

And even if it's on the other side of maybe we're not trying to impress,

Or we're not trying to prove something to them,

But then maybe on the other side,

We're feeling kind of inadequate in some way,

They're so smart,

Oh,

They're a Harvard professor,

A Harvard doctor,

Oh,

They're a CEO,

They're a journalist for the New York Times,

And then feeling kind of small about who we are.

And then shrinking back from the conversation,

Like not wanting to engage much,

Because we feel like,

Well,

We must not have much to offer.

So again,

Missing the opportunity to be present,

To engage,

To connect with other beings.

And even if we're not,

We're not very clear on,

Maybe we're not so much trying to do the impress or the prove,

Even though every now and then we all do it.

And we don't judge anyone for doing this either,

Because we've all done it in the past.

Or maybe we don't relate so much to the fear that the shrinking back,

Even though we've all done that at times as well.

We know when we can walk away from a conversation,

And we start replaying it in our heads.

When we start thinking to ourselves,

Oh,

What did I say there?

What did they say then?

Did I look okay?

What do they think of me?

This is what we,

This is such a common habit,

To walk away from conversations and start replaying it,

Imagining what did they,

What did they think of me after the fact,

Trying to find that sense of validation.

It's not even from them to give us the validation,

Just what do we think they thought now,

Needing that validation.

And there's a great quote from Eleanor Roosevelt on this.

We would spend far less time worrying about what others think about us,

If we realized how seldom they do.

That is the irony.

Everyone is walking around thinking about themselves,

Lost in their egos.

You walk away from the conversation wondering what they think about you,

They walk away from the conversation wondering what you think about them.

And it's so ridiculous.

Our ego is so fragile on the one side,

And yet has this sense of self-importance that everyone in the world is thinking about me.

Nobody's thinking about you.

Nobody's thinking about you,

Not even,

Even close to how much you are thinking about you.

And yet we live in this vicious cycle in our heads,

Always wondering what other people are thinking about us.

And so if we're,

If we,

If we have the desire for the praise through trying to impress other people or kind of prove who we are to other people,

You're kind of looking forward in that kind of replaying the conversation,

Being the people pleaser,

Right?

Always agreeing to things that people say,

To do things we don't want to do,

Having no boundaries whatsoever because we so want people to like us,

The desire for people to like us,

Overly checking Facebook posts,

Instagram posts to see how many likes and comments you got.

If we have this desire on the one side and we keep reinforcing this belief that my sense of worth,

My sense of feeling complete is,

Is outside of me based on what other people think about me,

Then when we have the time that someone really is being unkind to us,

Someone really doesn't like us,

And maybe they've even made it clear to us they don't like us,

They don't see us as a good person,

As a kind person,

As a spiritual person,

They don't see us like this at all.

And that can be crippling to us,

Because if we're doing it on the one side,

Eventually,

Eventually,

We are going to find that one person that doesn't like us.

And we do not like everyone on this planet.

We don't want to have ill will towards anyone,

But we don't like everyone.

And yet we have this assumption that everyone should like us.

That's the ego.

It's not just enough for one of you to like me,

Everyone has to like me and praise me,

Which is so unrealistic in the world that we live in today.

And yet when it happens to us,

When we really do get that situation where someone is being unkind or they don't like us,

They don't like us,

They're saying something about us that is very unflattering,

It feels so threatening to us.

It feels,

We feel so unsafe in that moment,

Because it's kind of a carryover from our survival days,

Where we really did need to survive when we lived in tribes for a long,

Long time.

And if we were kicked out of the tribe,

It would have meant certain death.

It would have been,

You know,

A life or death situation for us.

And so that feeling when someone really is,

You know,

It can be a little bit,

You know,

Just that little bit,

They're not paying attention to me,

I didn't get the text back,

I,

I,

You know,

Got a little bit of criticism,

You know,

To a lot of criticism,

A lot of blame.

But in our brain and in our body,

We feel like our lives are being threatened.

Our brain responds as though we are releasing adrenaline and cortisol and norepinephrine,

Our blood pressure's up and our heart rate's up.

And we feel like we're about to be attacked.

So it feels so real to us that we're about to be attacked,

That our lives are really in danger.

When the reality is we're not in danger at all.

We're perfectly okay.

But because we spend so much time in this needing validation outside of ourselves,

And again,

Just that little bit of not feeling safe to those big times when it really doesn't feel safe.

And then we get crippled.

We're completely incapacitated because someone doesn't like us.

And I think in the world that we live in today where we're not part of one tribe,

And our survival isn't dependent upon one tribe.

And because we know so many people,

We have so many more relationships to friends,

To colleagues,

To acquaintances,

Family,

So many more relationships than our ancestors would have had.

It is impossible for everyone to like us.

It's impossible for everyone to see us through the lens that a lens is a kind person,

Is a compassionate person.

It's hard for not everyone is going to see us that way.

And yet our ego can't handle that.

It's absolutely devastated if one person doesn't like us.

And of course,

There is some balance to this.

If one person is giving you some criticism,

You might take it or not.

You might kind of see whether there's some value there or not.

But if five people are giving you the same feedback,

You might think,

Wow,

Maybe I do need to do something here.

Maybe I do need to make some changes.

You know,

If every week I come on these classes,

And the first week there was a few of you,

And then the next week no one's turning up anymore.

I mean,

I might think,

Oh,

I maybe need to change the way I'm doing these classes,

Right?

Not everyone's going to like these classes.

Some people come on and some people go off because not everyone resonates with the way the teaching style that's happening here.

Maybe the subject isn't what they needed to hear today,

And that's okay.

People come and go.

But if everyone stops showing up,

Well,

Yeah,

There's something for me to look at there.

Maybe I need to make some change.

Maybe there is something of value in this.

But the problem with the ego is that it's while we might be getting praised,

We might be having good things,

You know,

Good friends,

20 friends over here,

30 friends,

40 friends over here,

One person that just doesn't get give us their full attention.

And we give all of our attention to that.

Distorting reality and believing again.

So believing the little illusion of the me that somehow has one person not giving them their full attention and this is a problem and a thread and also believing what it's pointing to.

If you could just get them to like you,

To give you your attention,

Then you would be complete.

But you won't be complete.

For a moment,

The thought will drop out and then it will start right back up again.

That's the illusion.

The ego itself is an illusion.

And what it's pointing to is an illusion.

So what we're trying to do is to see this as we used in the teachings last week.

I see you,

Mara.

I see you.

To be so vigilant and mindful on the lookout for the validator,

For that constant need for validation,

For praise,

For criticism.

It's so sneaky in the little ways that it comes in.

But we do know a telltale sign of any way the ego is arising is that tightening that we feel inside.

There's this,

It's like literally as the thoughts are arising,

It's like this feeling of splitting into two and we tighten up inside.

And so what we need to do being so mindful,

So aware of this,

Is to notice that tightening that maybe we're in a conversation and we're just,

We can kind of feel this like need to want to,

You know,

Have them validate,

Oh,

I'm well traveled too.

Oh,

I do that type of meditation too.

Oh,

I've been on that retreat too,

Right?

Not in a way that's bringing connection and sharing,

But in a way that's needing validation,

Right?

To notice that because when we're genuinely connecting with other people,

When we're being authentic,

When there's a back and forth of sharing and conversation,

There's not a tightening,

There's no gripping,

There's no need for something.

We're in the flow of the conversation,

Of the connection,

Right?

So noticing that tightening when it comes up and breathing into it,

Right?

I see you Mara,

I feel you Mara,

And feeling and breathing and 10 breaths,

Like 10 breaths.

If after 10 breaths,

You want to go back up in your head and still think that you need validation from someone,

That you need that text replied to,

That you'll feel better if you got more,

More likes or comment on your social media posts,

But give yourself the 10 breaths.

Because what happens in those 10 breaths,

Bringing your attention into the body,

Feeling your body,

Taking those deep breaths,

Centering yourself there,

You are cutting yourself out of the story.

The story,

The illusion that's pointing to first of all saying there's a little me that's wounded in some way.

There's not a little me that's wounded,

I'm sitting here perfectly safe and fine.

But remember,

We believe the illusion more,

And then we believe what it's pointing to.

But without the thoughts,

There's no illusion,

There's no pointing to anything.

So we bring ourselves back and we feel that sense of wholeness,

That sense of completeness again.

I'm okay,

I'm here.

And of course,

Bringing in some self-compassion.

If it was something,

You said something wrong,

You said something,

You thought it was witty,

And it wasn't so witty.

We embarrassed ourselves in some way.

We had a moment where we were trying to impress and then afterwards,

We're like,

Oh god,

I can't believe I did that.

Right?

Instead of judging ourselves,

Because that's just ego,

We're going to get to the judge in a couple of weeks,

The ego judging.

Right?

So instead of judging ourselves,

Self-compassion,

Oh sweetheart,

That was embarrassing.

Oh sweetheart,

Yeah,

You said something,

You kind of pushed your ego got in there for a minute.

Okay,

You're human,

You're human,

Right?

As a way to bring you down,

You know,

To be okay with it,

What's happened.

Or again,

Someone doesn't like you.

Oh sweetheart,

It's okay,

They don't like you.

Not everyone's going to like you.

I like you.

It's okay.

Right?

Or someone's not giving us their attention.

It's okay,

Sweetheart.

Your happiness is independent upon them.

Like using self-compassion talk to talk us down off the ledge.

Or if someone's not giving us their attention,

To say,

Just like me,

Millions of people around the world are having someone not give them their attention.

This is a normal human experience,

Because the ego always makes it feel like I'm the only one this is happening to.

I'm the loser over here.

And everyone else is having this great life.

And everyone else is feeling validated.

And no one else has to deal with someone feeling being unkind to them or not giving them their attention or criticizing them.

We feel like so like we're kind of over here on loser island by ourselves,

Like we're the ones that are suffering.

Right?

And it's like,

No,

This experience is normal.

Millions of people right now,

Right now,

Right now,

Are feeling that someone's not giving them their full attention.

And it does hurt.

And we're human.

And it should,

There should be that initial Oh,

Oh,

That kind of hurts a little bit kind of getting our attention.

But then soothing ourselves,

Whether if it's a little bit,

It's an it's the cashier at the drugstore.

Right?

Maybe we can just breathe into it.

And that might be enough.

Just doing those 10 breaths.

Oh,

I could feel it.

You know,

It's like,

Oh,

Just come back on back.

Maybe it stings a little bit more than bringing the self compassion.

Don't forget all of the tools that we have to help us come out of the illusion,

To not judge ourselves because we went up in the illusion.

But to help ourselves come out.

So we've got the breath,

Right?

Bringing ourselves into the present moment with the breath,

Self compassion,

Reminding ourselves just like me,

Millions of people are experiencing this too.

It's not a unique experience.

It's a normal human experience.

But to keep but to be really honest with ourselves and to keep catching it.

This is the thing we have to catch it.

Anytime that we let it go,

That we let it go too far.

And we really do believe because let's say we get the text.

And eventually we do.

Right?

But now we know,

Oh,

My happiness wasn't dependent on that.

I felt it earlier,

I felt that gripping,

I felt it.

Right?

I brought myself back,

I was okay.

And then you're here,

You're okay,

You feel complete,

You feel whole.

And then later when the text eventually does come,

Lol,

That was really funny,

Right?

Or whatever it is,

Right?

There's not this association.

Oh,

Yes,

That's what made me feel good.

No,

I was able to come back into the present moment because that person was never going to be able to validate me permanently.

Anytime we get lost,

We're just replaying the old conversation,

We're looking for that on the Facebook post,

The Instagram or the TikTok or whatever it is.

Anytime you are looking to see how many comments you got,

How many likes you got,

Under the guise of something else,

Well,

I'm just going into check this,

Let me just see,

Right?

You're reinforcing this illusion,

And you're reinforcing what it's pointing to.

We're trying to pull ourselves out of it.

It is a bottomless pit of despair.

If our happiness is always dependent upon what others think of us,

Most of the time,

They're not thinking about us at all.

They're thinking about what everyone else is thinking about them.

And the happiness,

The peace,

The feeling complete that we get when we set up these conditions,

And then they somehow happen,

We get the praise,

The text,

The attention,

Whatever it is.

The person seems impressed with us for a moment.

The happiness,

The peace that we feel is not because of their praise or acceptance.

It's because for a few moments,

The thought that I needed it went away.

That's the source of the problem.

Not that they gave us the praise or the approval,

But that the thought went away because we got it.

So we don't need them to help us feel validated.

We can see the thought ahead of time.

We see the feeling,

We don't notice the thoughts so quick,

The thoughts are so fast,

They're so insidious,

But we can definitely notice the feeling.

Using our mindfulness practice,

All of our mindfulness tools,

Our self-compassion tools,

To keep bringing ourselves back,

To keep trusting the present moment,

To come out of the illusion,

Because that's what awakening is.

Coming out of the illusion of the ego,

That you are not the ego,

That you are okay.

And the more that you live in the present moment,

And without the ego inserting itself in your relationships,

In your conversations,

The more that you come into the present moment and engage without your ego,

The more authentic your relationships are,

The more connected you feel.

And we do have this desire for connection,

Real connection,

Not this fleeting,

You know,

Kind of making my little ego feel good for a few moments,

Real connection.

We do have an innate desire for that,

But so often it's not genuine,

It's not authentic.

And so in the absence of the ego,

Not killing the ego,

Not destroying the ego,

Seeing that it is an illusion,

It's not real,

It's not who you are,

So that there are times when we can say,

Ah,

Okay,

Five people have just told me the same thing,

No one's turned up for class today.

Okay,

Maybe one day that's,

You know,

Legit,

But two weeks in a row,

Three weeks in a row,

Okay,

I need to do something.

You know,

Maybe,

Yeah,

Too many people are giving me feedback,

And I need to pay attention to this,

I need to make some change.

So it's okay,

You know,

To take the advice when it's good advice,

But to be more discerning,

We have to be way more discerning with the ego,

We believe everything it says.

And 99% of the time,

It's not giving us good advice.

But to always remember,

It's an illusion.

It's an illusion,

Even if someone's not liking me,

And it does hurt,

And it's okay,

And we can use self-compassion.

And it doesn't mean we can't go and have a conversation with them.

But not what this idea of self-compassion is,

Because it's not a good idea.

And so,

You know,

We have to be more discerning with the ego,

But not with this idea that I need you to complete me.

I need you to make me feel better.

Or how many times when we,

Maybe we've,

We've hurt someone.

And,

And because we can't stand this unworthy image of me having hurt someone,

We go to ask for forgiveness,

Not because we've hurt the other person.

Because we can't stand the unworthy image of me and,

And I'm asking for forgiveness to validate me.

Right?

So,

So often our actions are coming from the wrong place.

It's not making us happy.

It's not making us happy.

We suffer.

I mean,

We suffer the pressure that we put on ourselves for everyone to like us and the pressure that we put on everyone else.

As well with the people pleasing and the fawning all over people,

Right?

Just desperate for their,

Their approval of us.

It doesn't lead to authenticity.

It doesn't lead to healthy relationships.

And it perpetuates this illusion.

The illusion we are trying to see through,

The illusion we are trying to wake up to,

Because liberation,

Freedom,

The peace,

The connection,

The feeling whole and complete that every one of us seeks,

Is in seeing through the illusion that you are not the ego.

That's when life becomes better.

You enjoy the life that you have.

You're present.

You enjoy the good relationships that you have.

I think you are a better friend without the ego.

I think we're better colleagues.

We're better family members with,

Without identifying with the ego,

Without identifying it.

We're trying to see through the illusion to take the pressure off us,

The pressure off other people.

So this week,

And each week,

We are going through a different ego character for the next nine weeks.

So this week we are looking for the validator,

This new validator,

The V.

We are looking for it.

We are on the lookout for it to really be,

Of course,

All the other ways that the ego arises and creates separation,

But to be really vigilant,

Really mindful,

Really aware in looking for the validator,

That need for validation,

Looking at it through this lens.

Oh,

I'm so convinced that if I were to get that,

I'd be happy.

How many times have I thought that?

Right after you breathe and you bring yourself back down.

How many times have I played this game?

And yet here I am,

Once again,

Feeling incomplete because my happiness is dependent upon someone else.

You won't find happiness there.

You won't find peace.

You won't find connection.

It's just a bottomless pit of despair.

And we don't have to go through life like this.

If we understand how the ego is arising,

To look through the illusion,

That's what we're trying to do.

That's where the peace is in seeing,

Ah,

I can see you freaking out about this Mara.

I'm going to breathe.

Oh,

I'm going to do self-compassion.

Sweetheart,

That was embarrassing.

Yeah,

Just like me,

Millions of people did something embarrassing and bring myself back down.

Ah,

I'm okay.

I never needed their validation to feel complete.

I'm already complete.

That's what we're transcending.

We are complete.

But we do get that added benefit of I think our relationships are much more authentic,

Much more genuine.

We do feel that sense of connection.

It's a win-win.

It's a win-win.

So be on the lookout for the validator.

That's what we're really focusing on this week.

To catch the validator in the act and no beating yourself up for it when you catch it.

Just,

Ah,

Okay.

Breathe self-compassion.

Feel it.

Come back into the present moment.

Come out of the illusion.

Keep pulling yourself out of the illusion.

And trust this more than you trust this little illusion perception of reality.

To trust this more that you are okay in this moment.

Reviews

A very good teaching on where we can show up for ourselves.

I really needed to hear that and now work on it. Thank you 🙏

A momentary return to clarity. Thank you for a solid whack upside the head. Just what this illusionary ego needed at this moment.

Spot on Meredith, I'm noticing when I need validation and being self compassionate with myself. Not easy but I'm trying 😊

That was the sweetest, most honest talk I have received on this platform. It was exactly what I needed. Thank soooo much. 💖

You have blown my mind in such a positive way. This is fabulous and so helpful. Thank you I’m so grateful to have listened.

Thank you for walking me back home. Your words and wisdom are a balm for the soul. 🙏

Just starting this journey. So much to learn learn from you. Thank you.

question: would you agree with the statement, this moment is my life? ( and yes I get the irony as I just asked for validation lol).

validation is my biggie although I relate to all the masks of the ego. i call it my perpetual seeker. Always looking like the Terminator for something outside of me to make. e feel okay about me. My ego really gets hung up on words that others say. I’ll give one word that someone else says so much importance. for days, yes days (more like daze) i’ll say over and over to myself, I can’t believe they used ‘that’ word.

your ego talks are helping me see the ego, that i’ve gently named Alvin, in the moment instead of after the moment. this is wonderful progress ♥️🌞🪷🌈🕊️✨🙏🦋🌹✨🪷♥️

This talk was very thoughtfully organized and has given me exciting avenues for growth. Gets to the heart of what Buddhist practice is.

This talk offers a lot of insight about the ego.
Thank you.