Natural Awakening, Healing, & Self Care: A Session Clip

This is a clip from a coaching session about Awakening and living from Awakeness---how to effortless be, letting our natural healing & fulfillment processes take their course. This client had the story that he didn't know how to 'do' this, and that he doesn't know how to love himself (no client identification or voice on this track). I talk about how the stories are untrue, and how Life is lovingly taking care of itself--through us, with us.

Transcript

Kind of like the inner knowing and that you're getting this sense of where it's like,

I can't,

I don't make a decision.

What did you say?

Recognizing what I,

What you do isn't up to you.

Um,

And,

And,

And,

And what,

Um,

What,

You know,

It isn't up to you.

It isn't figured out by your mind.

And we're getting weird with the language where it's like,

Who's the you in this whole thing.

Right.

And I,

And I don't mean to go to awakening.

Like I,

My whole prime directive is as practical as you can get.

I only want your life to be practical for you to make those day-to-day decisions.

But actually the most practical thing is to come off trying to figure all this out and let yourself just be,

Which is really in a way just letting the body be,

Which on Wednesday we started to do.

You,

You actually went into some healing where you were,

It was just when I say you,

You,

I like your phrase,

Sentient spaciousness.

Or we could say that lately I've been liking the word awakeness,

You consciousness.

And with like a capital U and you,

A body,

We were,

You were just being together.

You,

You weren't invoking a separate self who's doing something.

It was a very not doing quote unquote meditation or healing that we were up to.

It was just you as a capital Y and the wounding in your body being together,

So to speak.

That's what healing is.

It's very,

Very direct.

It's so simple that there's no way for your mind to wrap itself around that,

Which is where all the trouble is.

And now I totally get why centering prayer is helpful.

Like it just gives yourself a,

It gives the mind a place to park.

So I say,

Great,

Do it.

And you know,

These,

These other,

My meditations and that's in real quotes here,

Aren't there,

They're,

They're really not for your mind.

They're not there.

They're just like,

It's literally called simple being.

It's like,

It's I've heard another guy call his meditations,

Do nothing meditations.

That's a great phrase.

And your mind cannot understand that.

It's not,

It just,

It,

It assumes in there who's getting it right or wrong.

That is a,

And,

And he's got to do something and he's got to figure this out.

And that stream of thought,

The separate self,

Who's trying to get to good enough,

Who's trying to get to peaceful,

Who's trying to heal or trying at all is,

Is the fundamental wound you could say for humans.

And it's in your heart and it's in your solar plexus and it's in your belly.

And,

And you,

You as pure awareness can see through it.

You can see,

Oh,

And you have,

You,

You,

You do,

You,

You are seeing through these stories.

Now the story captures attention again.

It's like,

Wait,

What,

What,

What,

What I got to do?

You know?

And I got to,

There must be something to do.

And I totally get it.

It sure seems like it,

But you've got this big piece here,

Which is,

Recognizing what you do isn't up to you.

There is just life happening.

And what we are,

We're missing,

We're missing in,

In believing it is up to us that there's a separate self who's doing something here.

We go,

And then that's how we,

That's how we try to make decisions.

We try to like put our thoughts together and make a logical decision or,

You know,

Meditate the right amount in a day or,

Or whatever.

And welcome to the club.

That's everybody.

There's some,

We're going to try to put the puzzle pieces together.

And in doing that,

We miss what is actually occurring,

Which is like the body,

Like yesterday or Wednesday,

It was like the,

There's a huge grip in the solar plexus.

That's what is,

That isn't,

That isn't you doing anything.

That's just what is.

And the,

The,

And when I use the word loving,

It's,

It's just that natural,

Like,

So we,

We,

What we did on Wednesday was we stripped a lot of those thoughts.

And then all we were left with was just,

Here's awareness or sentient spaciousness.

And here's a group in the solar plexus in the torso.

Here's all these groups in the torso.

And then life,

Consciousness,

Awakeness,

Awareness just goes to the solar plexus.

You,

Your mind is looking to go,

Well,

That's not love or,

Or I don't know what love is,

Or,

You know,

It's going into the stories of love.

It's going into thought and that's fine.

But if we go back to like,

Here's awareness,

Here's your solar plexus,

Here's grippiness and you as awareness went to that grippiness and tears emerged,

That's love.

That in its most,

In the most basic sense,

It's finally attending to you as a body.

Finally being,

Simply being,

Finally letting life run this thing.

And it just,

It just is tender.

It just is,

We use the word gentle.

So,

I don't,

We don't have it,

We don't have to use the word love,

But it is,

That's just,

That's what love is,

Is just this connective,

It's the connectiveness that awareness or awakeness or life does for itself.

It attends to each body inside itself,

Right?

You,

You do sense,

Here's all this spaciousness.

It is what consciousness is,

It's spacious.

And then that spaciousness naturally goes when we're not trying to figure shit out into the body.

And it is tender with the body and it wants the body to stretch or,

You know,

Like it's,

It's listening,

It's honoring the body.

It's how we're born,

We honored the body.

And so,

We're diving underneath thought and,

And,

And in the same way that where I was talking about on Wednesday of like,

You,

You can,

We,

We,

And this is the kind of challenge of communicating.

We need to point shit out to each other.

But me pointing all this stuff out,

I'm,

I'm just pointing you back to that direct experience that only,

That you know,

That is,

It is that inner knowing.

It's like,

And you've had many times where it's like,

Oh,

Oh yeah,

It's just this,

It's just this.

And I will keep pointing that out.

And that,

That is very similar to like,

You and I can keep describing an orange,

But I'm asking like,

Why don't you just bite the orange?

You know what I mean?

Like,

And you,

You experienced the orange,

Which is just,

Here's awakeness,

Here's attention spaciousness,

Here's the body,

Here's what he,

What's going on with him.

There's a huge grip in the belly.

There's a desire to go running outside.

There's a need for water.

There's a fuck no to driving today.

Oh,

There's a,

There's a yes to talking with interestingly,

You know,

Who knows,

Who knows?

How do you know?

You don't actually know it's life driving it,

But you,

You are the same awakeness that's over here.

You are just as capable since it's the same sentient spaciousness here over there as over there to attend to the body,

To attend to the moment,

To just be as this one over here,

Since it's the same one.

It's not,

It's not like I have more skill.

It's more just,

Oh,

It's more just like there's been a wearing down of,

Of,

Um,

The idea that the mind can,

Can offer anything.

All it is,

Is just a,

All it,

All it is,

Is just a kind of,

Um,

A story after the fact,

Pointers and,

And after the fact,

But the description of an orange will never be the taste of the orange.

And,

And you,

You are just as capable of just like biting the orange.

So,

So all the thoughts of like,

I'm getting this wrong,

Or I don't get it,

Or I need help.

Like,

It's like,

It's none of those are true.

It's just like the story that I'm like,

I'm a bad communicator.

It's like,

No,

There's not,

No,

None of that's true.

Same awareness there,

Same awareness here.

Now what's,

What's here in this moment.

And I,

I actually think what's really alive for you as a body right now is quite a bit of healing that,

That,

That entering of the body to actually the embodied,

The bringing of awareness into the body is the,

Has been a missing piece.

Um,

And so that the body hasn't woken up that you haven't,

You know,

Deeply felt that inner knowing,

Felt the relief of being deeply seen and felt that the body hasn't,

Hasn't realized it's connectedness to oneness,

It's awakeness,

It's,

It's,

It's the lovingness that it's swimming in.

And that's a,

It's a process.

It's a process of awakening.

It's a process of realization through the body.

Um,

And so there might be some fears there,

Which is,

I'm not asking you to like analyze your fears or anything.

It was just,

It's just like what we did on Wednesday,

Where it was like,

Just what's the,

What's the fear of getting fat,

Right?

Oh,

I'll be unlovable.

Okay.

That's,

There's the fear,

Right?

Where's that fear stored?

It's in the belly.

You know,

Can we,

Can we just see that it is a fear,

Right?

We can,

It's just a story.

It's a story that something that has extra fat on it is unlovable.

And by even just seeing it,

You,

It already starts to unravel.

It's,

It seemed to be ludicrous.

Like,

Like from awareness,

It's like just crazy.

Like you,

You can see,

Like,

There's so many creatures in the world,

Including humans that have layers of extra layers of fat that,

You know,

Make them,

It can make them even more adorable.

You wouldn't say that about a baby.

You wouldn't say that about,

You know,

Uh,

I don't know all the creatures that have extra fat,

Extra layers of fat on them.

You wouldn't say that about a woman.

You wouldn't say that about,

Like,

There's just no,

That would make no sense.

It's just total insanity.

It's the,

It's the thoughts.

And there is,

There's like a,

There's like almost like a thought grid or a spell grid on humans.

It's like,

Uh,

Computer programming that is really,

You know,

Challenging.

It's a,

It's not challenging in like an effortful way,

But like we,

We,

Uh,

It's like,

Um,

Like this video game has a lot of,

Uh,

Handicaps from jump,

You know?

Um,

One of them being like,

Just this,

This,

Just this idea of separation from nature,

Separation from God.

And then that,

Uh,

The human isn't good enough that we're somehow unworthy,

That we are bad,

Wrong,

Unlovable,

Ugly,

Like these crazy ideas that are,

Are not inherent to our being.

They're not,

Um,

They're not part of our DNA.

They're not part of our,

They're not part of,

That's not what,

How God sees anything.

When you were a baby,

When you was just awakeness,

Looking out of your eyes,

There was not one judgment on yourself as a body or any other body that was all conditioned in.

And therefore it can be conditioned out.

And so far as we can just see through it and then feel through it,

Decondition the body,

Which is to say,

Open the body in a way,

You could say it's an opening process because you were just an open system back when you were a baby.

And then the system kind of closes down and it has all these ideas about how to operate correctly and what will make you lovable.

And that's like living in a jail house for all of us,

For all of us.

Like you are so not alone in this.

I don't know.

I don't know a person on planet earth that doesn't have a deep unworthiness,

Not good enough or unlovable.

It's just,

It manifests differently.

Sometimes it manifests as people like running a billion dollar company and it looks like,

You know,

They don't have a not good enough,

But the whole thing was to get to good enough.

And P.

S.

They never got there.

So,

This is a,

This is an epidemic and it's not a,

It's not a you thing.

And,

And so it does always get back to awakening in a way because it's awakening from these spells,

These,

These stories.

Each one of us has to do it for ourselves because we just have this avatar and that includes really just taking your seat.

Let's,

I like that phrasing.

It's not like you,

You,

You can't know it,

Right?

You're just,

You're just taking your seat as awakeness.

You're just aware of awareness.

You get your mind.

It tells you a tricky,

Tricky,

Untrue thing that there's a you that can't be aware of awareness,

But awareness is aware of itself.

You,

It,

It aware of it.

It's just what sees your mind is awakeness is awareness is oneness.

It always will be.

It's not something you realize.

It's not something you figure out.

And in a way,

And,

And that's why I use as much different phrasing as I can to just say,

You're just,

You're just kind of settling,

Right?

It goes back to your realization of like,

You know,

I,

I,

What I do isn't up to me because,

And,

And so it's like,

It's like,

Yes,

Yes.

What's happening.

Isn't up to you as a mind,

As a,

As a separate self,

You are the witnessing.

That's just watching it happen.

You're just watching it happen.

And you can,

You can,

You can actually show up as awakeness to what's happening,

Which on Wednesday was just,

There's a whole bunch of grippiness in your torso.

That's showing up to what's happening,

Not showing up to what's not happening,

Which is a story of a man who's not getting it.

It's like,

That's not true.

That's just a whole story.

What's actually happening in a moment is like,

Here's awakeness.

Here's tension spaciousness.

Here's a body in need.

Here's a body asking for attention.

So,

So,

So,

So,

So,

So simple.

And I know unlovable is the story,

But what happened on Wednesday was you loving you,

No matter what you tell me,

No matter what your story is.

I,

I awakeness know what's true.

I know that was you loving you.

And those tears were actually tears of love,

Of relief.

Now,

What I also know is that often when that happens,

There's a kind of a kickback.

And so that's,

I think why you had a day of hell.

It's like the mind goes crazy trying to figure that shit out.

And it's too,

It feels too out of control.

It feels like I didn't get it.

Like this is,

You know,

I don't know.

I don't know all the stories that came in there,

But you actually,

It actually was the,

You were actually,

You were actually just simply loving you and you weren't in your story of unlovable.

You were just loving you.

And I get it.

I get that that word might be triggering,

But if we just say love is just connecting,

It's just,

It's returning to wholeness.

It's,

It's,

It's the natural attraction.

Same as when you were a baby,

Right?

You reach out for a piece of food and put it in your mouth and smile and say,

Yum,

You know,

That's you as pure awareness,

Loving you,

I.

E.

Listening to the body and honoring it.

And it loves what's,

It loves that.

It's the,

It's the natural connection between the two that aren't two.

So I want,

In a way,

I want you to kind of consider that that,

That is what love is.

It's just that,

It's just this very direct you as an awakeness and you with the body,

You with the body coming together.

Reviews

IMPORTANT distinction between our conditioned stories of “trying” & effort to get somewhere else, and the reality of simply being in awareness, where the actual healing takes place. Will be listening often to practice this clarity of true embodiment. Thank you! 🙏🏼