Self-Compassion Check-In - Live Event

This is an 18-minute self-compassion meditation from my live Mindfulness Community for Changemakers event on March 6, 2024.

I begin with a two-minute introduction to this supportive practice that you can do whenever you'd like to relieve stress and compassionately check in with yourself and your body.

Transcript

Self-compassion is a practice.

It originated over 2,

500 years ago in the Buddhist tradition out of India,

And it's really important to me that we acknowledge the cultures and traditions where these wonderful practices came from.

Today,

One of my biggest influences for self-compassion is an Insight Timer teacher,

Dr.

Kristen Neff,

And I have been doing self-compassion practices for about six years now,

And they have been totally life-changing for me.

So I encourage you to really check in with yourself,

Take a breath,

And just notice,

Am I needing some stillness?

If so,

You're welcome to sit,

Stand.

That's great if you're wanting some energy.

You can lay down.

I meditate every morning laying down,

So you might fall asleep,

You might not.

Either way is great.

And then you're also welcome to stretch,

Take a walk.

So do whatever you are needing,

My friend.

Again,

I am so grateful to you all for being here.

And as I move us into this meditation,

The last little tidbit I want to offer,

Because I think this turns off a lot of folks to meditation,

Is there's no right or wrong way to meditate.

And the goal is not to turn off your thoughts here.

Our mind wanders 50% of the time,

At least.

And so we are building this muscle of seeing ourself exactly as we are,

Noticing what sensations are here,

Noticing what feelings are here.

And when your mind wanders off,

As it will many,

Many times,

Consider that,

As Sharon Salzberg,

The teacher I love,

Says,

The magic moment.

Because you're being aware.

I encourage you to close your eyes if you'd like,

Or you can gently lower your gaze.

And for my friends who are walking and stretching,

Feel free to tune into the sound of my voice.

And let's take some slow inhales and exhales.

I always enjoy making the exhale a bit longer than the inhale.

Whenever I'm needing a sense of I'm needing a sense of groundedness.

It really supports our body and tells us that we're safe when we engage in this deep breathing.

Feel into the sensations of your feet on the ground.

And if you're laying down,

Or walking,

Just pausing for a moment,

And feeling this sense of groundedness,

Being truly held by the earth.

Anytime I'm feeling overwhelmed,

Simply feeling into the sensations of my feet on the ground is a really supportive.

I encourage you to offer some gratitude to the land that you're on.

Acknowledging the indigenous people,

Past and present,

That have stewarded this land that you call home today.

We'll do a quick body scan,

Starting at the top of your head.

Starting at the top of your head,

I'm slowly bringing your presence and awareness.

Noticing if there's any tightness,

Softening the forehead,

Jaw.

Neck,

Shoulders,

Belly,

And feet.

Continuing to take nourishing breaths.

And I'd like to offer an opportunity to choose a home base.

If you'd like,

You can pick an anchor point to bring your attention back to.

So sometimes the body can be a really supportive anchor point,

And sometimes not.

So I'll start with the breath,

That beautiful breath.

You might like to place your hands on your belly,

Or on your heart.

Feeling into where you can feel your breath most prominently.

You might enjoy just sensing in to the surface below you.

Noticing the felt sense of that body being supported.

And if the body isn't a place you want to hang out in,

I also love listening.

So you can just listen to the sounds in the room.

Peeling off any labels,

And simply becoming aware.

These sounds,

This nourishing breath,

This body,

They're all in the present moment.

They can only be in the present moment.

So notice what it's like when you come back to these anchor points.

Notice what feels like a homecoming for you.

So with the self-compassion practice,

There are three different elements.

And the first one is to become aware of what's happening in the present moment,

With an attitude of curiosity and kindness.

That's exactly what mindfulness means.

So notice in your body where you can feel physical sensations.

Revisiting that body scan,

And see what's calling your attention.

And feel into the physical sensations that are here.

We're not trying to fix them or push them away.

Simply by bringing your attention to these sensations,

You're allowing yourself the chance to tune into your body's wisdom.

And the body loves to be paid attention to.

One of the reasons we burn out is because we are operating from the neck up.

Doing,

Doing,

Doing.

So see where your attention is called.

And with loving awareness,

Bring your attention to the sensations.

When I feel my neck and shoulders get tight,

That's a sign to me that I may be overexerting myself or that I'm feeling some kind of reactivity.

So if you notice any areas that may be a little tense or a little tense,

If you notice any areas that may seem unpleasant,

See if you can bring your attention to them and allow them to be there.

Perhaps offering some nourishing breaths,

Imagining that you're directing your breath into this area.

And this is a practice.

So if you're finding it tricky to locate any sensation,

Nothing has gone wrong,

We're simply exploring here.

And you're always welcome to return to your anchor points or simply chill out and do nothing.

Which is precious as well.

Kristen Neff refers to this process of feeling the sensations in your body as feel it to heal it.

So this next step that I like to do with self-compassion is to name it to tame it.

So name it to tame it is a beautiful practice that you can do right now.

And it's also wonderful anytime you're existing as a human throughout your day and you're feeling a sense of fear or just feeling off and you want to know what's going on.

Our body's physical sensations are often a messenger for a feeling or multiple feelings.

And so these feelings are visiting us,

They come and go.

So if you'd like to practice name it to tame it,

So if you'd like to practice name it to tame it,

I encourage you to name to yourself what emotions are visiting me.

And if you'd like a trick for knowing how to name your emotions,

The five core emotions that all emotions really stem from are joy,

Sadness,

Anger,

Disgust,

And fear.

So breathing in and out,

Naming the emotions,

I like to think of it as the framework of this is fear,

This is joy.

So this is a way of recognizing that this physiological sensation that's moving through you it's not you,

You are not fear.

It's like a wave that is appearing in the ocean.

So notice what happens when you name with acceptance what emotions are here.

Seeing if you can drop out of the story,

The mind likes to make up a lot of drama,

Why you're feeling these emotions,

Simply feel them,

Acknowledging them,

And maybe even welcoming them like they are guests visiting you for tea.

If you are feeling like it's tricky to name an emotion,

You can simply say to yourself,

This feels uncomfortable,

This feels wonderful.

Again,

There's no right way to do this,

You're just being with yourself.

Taking some breaths,

Again returning to that anchor point.

And my friend,

If you are feeling any sense of difficulty,

Discomfort,

Anxiety,

Any of those things,

You can just say to yourself,

This is okay,

This is what I'm feeling,

This is what I'm feeling,

This is what I'm feeling,

This is what I'm feeling.

And again,

If you are feeling any of those things,

You can just say to yourself,

This is okay,

This is what I'm feeling,

This is what I'm feeling,

This is what I'm feeling.

And again,

If you are feeling any of those things,

You can just say to yourself,

This is okay,

This is what I'm feeling,

This is what I'm feeling,

This is what I'm feeling.

Oftentimes,

I use the phrase of,

This is a moment of suffering.

I'm not assuming it's a moment of suffering for you,

And stress is part of life.

So if you're feeling any sense of discomfort,

Acknowledging it,

And then saying to yourself,

We all feel this way sometimes.

It's okay.

Whatever words are helpful to you to provide a sense of compassion.

To provide a sense of compassion.

Perhaps there are words that you might say to a friend,

Or a pet,

A loved one.

If it's not easy for you to offer that compassion to yourself,

You're welcome to think of it as a friend,

And offer that love and acceptance with words that you might use for a friend.

As we move to close this practice,

I encourage you to place your hands wherever it may feel nourishing on the body.

I often go to my heart,

Because it's a somatic practice that reminds us that we're safe.

Offer yourself gratitude for creating this time to practice this muscle of self-compassion.

And bringing to mind all of the beautiful people that are meditating together.

56 of us here now.

Maybe imagining they're surrounding you,

And let's close with some loving-kindness.

You can repeat after me in your mind,

Or use some words that feel supportive to you.

Imagining all these beautiful beings,

All these people who are here for something beyond this.

Are here for something beyond themselves.

We're also human beings who deserve rest and love.

Offering them these wishes.

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be safe.

May you live with ease.

Let's take a deep collective breath together.

And at your own pace,

And not a moment sooner,

You can return your gaze to the space.

If you've gotten your eyes closed,

You can open your eyes,

And feel free to take some movement if you haven't already.

And I encourage you to notice what feels different now.

Thank you so much for practicing with me.

I hope this is of service to you and all the people that you encounter today.

Reviews

A pleasant and supportive meditation to connect with compassion for one’s self.