Hello,
Friend.
Many of us have been taught that gratitude means that pain doesn't get to come to the table,
That if you just look on the bright side,
You'll feel better.
What that really does is teach us to suppress our emotions.
Let's dismantle that toxic positivity idea that gratitude should erase struggle.
True gratitude,
The kind that transforms us,
Makes space for both.
Gratitude and grief are not opposites.
They are partners in integration.
And yes,
I understand that you might not want to feel grief or pain or fear or sadness,
But today we will practice dual awareness through something called both and breathing,
Which gives us the ability to hold gratitude and pain without collapsing or wallowing into either.
Let's start by settling into a comfortable position.
Let your body feel heavy,
Safe,
And supported.
Take a deep breath in and a long,
Unforced exhale out.
While repeating to yourself,
I can be grateful and grieving.
Begin to scan your body slowly.
Notice where you might be holding tension,
In your shoulders,
Your neck,
Your chest,
Your throat.
Don't try to release it yet.
Just acknowledge it.
I see you stress,
Sitting right there.
I acknowledge you.
Feel the weight of your hands,
The rhythm of your breath,
The aliveness in your chest.
Even here,
When we're acknowledging stress,
Life continues.
Now,
Imagine two rivers flowing side by side within you.
One is the river of gratitude,
Calm,
Warm,
Golden.
The other is the river of grief,
Deep,
Dark,
Moving with quiet strength.
Neither cancels the other.
They flow together,
Creating a balance.
With each inhale,
Breathe in the warmth and light from the golden river.
With each exhale,
Release a motion into the dark current.
Not to banish it,
But to let it move.
Now repeat,
I can hold both light and shadow.
I can honor what's here without forcing it to change.
Let's bring our hands to our heart,
Resting them upon our chest.
And now,
Feel both rivers merge right there in your heart.
Warmth and weight,
Strength and softness.
As they flow through your heart,
Notice how this wholeness feels.
Not perfect,
But steady.
Repeat to yourself,
I am allowed to feel it all.
And gratitude doesn't erase pain.
It reminds me that I can survive it.
This both and practice teaches your body that safety doesn't require control.
It retrains your vagus nerve to tolerate mixed emotions,
Reducing your emotional volatility and increasing your flexibility.
Basically,
When you stop fighting your feelings,
Your nervous system relaxes and your capacity for gratitude expands naturally.
Both are welcome here.
Take three slow,
Deep breaths,
Feeling both calm and aliveness.
If a tear wants to fall,
Let it.
If a smile wants to appear,
It can.
Both are welcome here.
When you're ready,
Open your eyes and noticing the room around you.
Imperfect and somehow still beautiful.
You did something courageous today.
You let yourself be whole.
You gave permission for sadness to exist without apology and from gratitude to co-exist with it.
This is emotional maturity in action.
You are no longer chasing good vibes only.
You are choosing realness always.
