Why I Practice

Getting back into the practice after a break . . . why do we practice? Is enlightenment attainable? Are there better practices for me? In this brief talk, LAINE gives an overview of her personal process as a meditator and where it has led her in her spiritual life. A short meditation is offered at the end of the talk.

Transcript

If you've been practicing meditation for a while,

You might have your belief system kind of sorted out about how this process is supposed to go for you and what you're hoping to get out of it.

If you're new to meditation,

You might be someone who is just looking into something someone told you to do,

Or like really just trying to improve your life some way,

For whatever reason,

Health,

Well-being,

Stress,

Focus.

But in all the traditions that have a meditative practice arising from them,

The ultimate goal is a connection with the highest,

Whether it's the highest self or some sort of deity or a god or the god.

Even if it's from an atheistic standpoint,

It's the highest state of calm or the highest state of peace or the highest state of focus and concentration for the mind,

The body,

And the spirit.

And so all the nooks and crannies along the way are the path,

And then the realization of this path already is.

So I say this,

And I say this in this moment at the end of 2024,

Sitting in my walk-in closet because there's some noise outside of my building,

To tell you this,

There was a lot of effort put forth for me to feel as if I understood how to sit,

And it was worth it.

So whatever you're exploring on this app or in other places in your life,

Keep doing it.

Because if you keep moving through all the different teachings,

All the different practices,

Whatever it is that you have set as your highest will actually expose itself to you.

So this is sounding even to me like a scene from some sort of goofy movie about a motivational speaker or some sort of cultish idea,

But it really isn't that.

It really is just a daily,

Ongoing,

Monotonous effort to remain consistently connected to whatever that highest state is or that highest lead is for you.

And then there comes a time when you'll have some sort of a breakthrough.

And then this is when there's a lot more work to do.

When you have this breakthrough,

Then you have to be new.

You have to be the way that you've been aiming towards.

And this is filled with all kinds of garbage because the way you were living prior to this.

And for some of us,

It's more garbage than others.

But the exciting part is you will know that you're with.

You will know that you actually have made it.

Even though your surroundings,

Your relationships,

Your wardrobe may not instantly reflect it,

You will know that you have come to where you were hoping to get to.

And if you're lucky enough to get to where you were hoping to get to,

It can be very enticing to turn around and go back to where you were.

And I will say with full hearted endorsement,

I absolutely don't blame you.

Go right ahead.

Turn away and then come back again.

Maybe where you're aiming for isn't really what you thought it was.

And so you have to explore this new place.

But the only thing I can say about all the efforts and all of the practices that are available across all the traditions is you actually will know when you are where you wanted to be.

And then whatever,

As one of my teachers,

Ram Dass,

Would say,

Karmic influences are still in your life.

They'll just play out.

He said,

It's old karma running off.

It's the most,

Maybe the truest thing he has said.

And I have likened it when I've spoken with people I've worked with and in other places in my life to when you're driving a car and if you stop short and there's some stuff in the back seat,

It might fly forward.

So it just kind of depends.

Each person's karma is different.

So whatever's in your car,

When you get to your destination and you stop,

That stuff might come flying forward.

And you might have to pick up a lot.

Sometimes you can just walk away from it.

But mostly our lives are designed like this so that we can continue on and become more that way.

It really is attainable,

I guess is what I'm trying to say.

Enlightenment or whatever it is you're aiming for,

Your highest,

It's actually an attainable objective.

If you are looking at it from a spiritual point of view.

I cannot vouch for it's an attainable objective for you to be the most successful in your career or for your relationship to look like this,

For your body to look like this.

I don't have that expertise.

But I do have the expertise to say that it actually is an attainable goal,

Your own individual enlightenment,

If it's on a spiritual plane,

Spiritual,

Again,

Across traditions,

A higher value set or a higher perspective of mind.

So I'm recording this for you today just as kind of a re-entry dialogue about why I'm coming back to offer more courses and more teachings and more guided meditations and things here is because it feels like the right time for me to do so.

I've been wanting to do more.

I've set up a new studio to do more.

I have new microphones and new equipment and all kinds of stuff yet here I am in my walk-in closet because where my studio is,

Is next to where there's a bunch of work being done in my new building.

It's such a hokey,

Classic,

Teachery story to tell.

But for me,

It really does seem to work like this.

And I'm open to someone showing me a different way still.

But in order for me to get well,

I really had to walk through all of it.

And when I say get well,

I mean be well.

And some of it's torture,

Even once you've reached your target.

But most of it is pretty easy to let go of all that stuff that came forward in the stopping of your vehicle.

At the destination.

And you just continue then to remain open to kind of the embodiment of that highest.

Not to be lofty,

But we are pretty base beings.

You know what I mean?

As much as you study,

As much as you aspire to practice the highest,

As many asanas as you do,

As vegan or vegetarian as you are,

We're here grounded on the earth.

And we kind of have to worry about some stuff.

And so it can be a bit of a slog even when you've reached this higher mind or clear mind.

But you don't have to keep going back over all the same stuff.

You don't have to identify with all the same old stuff.

I just found a photograph of myself from high school.

And when I first found it,

I was like,

Oh,

Her hair looks so pretty.

And blonde.

And what a carefree moment out in the mountains camping out with some friends.

And I was doing something with some wildflowers.

Very hippie moment from decades ago.

And then when I came back to look at the photo again,

I just could only see the weight.

The weight of what isn't me in it.

And so I'm going to offer a few different courses kind of based on some of the Vedantic teachings that I studied.

A little based on some bhakti yoga.

And then just a little bit based on the creative process itself and how that can be a major part of your own unfolding in a meditative practice.

And again,

I'll just reiterate that one of the main tenets that I was guided into and that I feel is very important is to know why you're doing it.

It doesn't have to be super deep.

My understanding of why I really wanted to practice unfolded over time.

At first it was just a sense of personal power.

And kind of like a linear projective of my mind.

And then it unfolded and became much more esoteric and much more lofty in its expression in me.

So I'm not going to try to articulate that right now,

But just to say it's important to know why you want to practice.

Anyway,

So I'm going to offer a few courses and a couple of just regular meditations.

And if this is at all resonant for you,

I invite you to engage,

To send me messages,

To tell me about your practice,

To offer your thoughts and feedback on anything that I have put out onto the app.

And I actually look forward to doing this from a different place in my life.

So to close this long chat,

I'll just do a few minutes of quiet sitting.

And these are the principles that I'll start my first course with.

Shravanamadana and Nididhyasana.

Shravanamadana and Nididhyasana.

These principles that are helpful for understanding the map through your own mind and experience to that kind of arrival point.

So what's been going on?

I've just been chatting.

And that's this kind of shravana thing where you're just hearing me talk about a bunch of stuff and letting whatever hits,

Hits.

And maybe somewhere along the way you started to kind of chew on a piece of that,

Madana,

Where you started to think that resonates,

Or I disagree with her on that,

Or I'm wondering if that's what was happening for me.

Maybe you checked out and were just kind of thinking about something I said and then went into your own understanding of it.

And then there's this Nididhyasana state where you become whatever that expression is for yourself.

And so we're just going to goof with it.

And just here for the next minute or two,

Sit still.

And just be well.

Just close your eyes.

Be still.

And just see if anywhere in you is the resonance of well.

And just kind of turn your attention towards that.

And just kind of breathe in.

Maybe that part of you that is well can soften and expand and spread just a bit through the rest of your being.

And just turn back to that spot where that wellness kind of originated and just see how it is now after a minute of sitting.

And see if there's another part of you that feels as well or more well than that.

Namaste.