Meditation On Dealing With The Loneliness

Loneliness is a deeply complex and often painful experience. It can affect anyone, regardless of age or circumstances, and it’s important to acknowledge it and come to terms with it. This meditation is based on a recent live session. Music by Chris Collins. #91

Transcript

Welcome,

And I hope that each one of you will come to find peace within yourself.

Today I want to talk a little bit about loneliness,

And this meditation is based on a live session that I did recently.

You know,

Loneliness is complex,

And it's often painful,

And it can affect anyone,

Regardless of age or circumstances.

And it's important to acknowledge its impact on our mental and emotional health.

We can have emotional loneliness,

And this occurs when we feel disconnected from those around us,

When we're lacking in deep emotional bonds or close relationships,

And it can happen even when you're surrounded by people.

And then there's social loneliness that arises from a lack of a broader social network,

And it might be felt when we don't have a group of friends or a community to engage with.

I know all of my closest friends have died,

But I have my family and all our neighbors and their children,

And to everyone,

I'm just Grandpa.

Sometimes we feel loneliness in certain circumstances,

During certain life events,

Like moving to a new place or losing a loved one or going through a major change,

And that triggers our feeling of loneliness.

I know the loneliest I've ever felt was just after my only brother died in 2005.

My mother had just died in 2004,

And when my brother died,

I suddenly felt all alone.

Oh,

I had family and friends,

But I had all these memories from my youth that no one else shared,

Like singing old Irish songs together while driving in the car or getting pizza and going to this certain park and sitting at a picnic table and eating it.

I was the only one who still remembered those things,

And so many more.

Close your eyes now,

And let's get in touch with our breath.

It doesn't matter if you're sitting,

Standing,

Or lying down.

The only thing that matters when you meditate is that you're comfortable and alert.

Now,

Just get in touch with your breath,

Breathing in and breathing out,

One breath at a time.

Let's scan our body.

Let's relax our face,

Unfurl your brow,

And relax your jaw.

Relax your neck and shoulders.

Relax your arms and your hands,

And relax your legs and your feet.

Look for any tension in your chest and belly.

And as you begin to relax,

Let's focus even more on our breath.

Our breath is our anchor.

It's there for us in all moments,

When we're sad,

When we're lonely,

When we're happy,

When we're calm.

It flows like a river.

And as you sit there and breathe,

Pay attention to your breath.

Notice where you can feel it,

Maybe the cool sensation in your nostrils as the breath flows in,

Or the movement of your chest and belly as the breath flows in and flows out.

Our breath is there for us when we feel lonely,

When we feel sad.

Just have to get in touch with it.

I just want you to keep on breathing and listen to my voice.

You know,

Everyone is going to cope with loneliness in their own way.

What works for me might not work for you,

And that's okay.

Each person's journey is their own,

And you have to find what works for you.

It's in the same way that your meditation journey is your own as well.

One of the first things you have to do is acknowledge and accept the fact that you're feeling lonely.

It's a valid emotion,

And it's an important signal that our social needs aren't being met.

Maybe you need to reach out and connect with others,

Family or friends.

Joining a club or a group that has shared interests,

Or maybe volunteering.

Here I'm going to pause for a minute and let you just think and breathe,

And then I'll be back.

If you're feeling lonely,

It can help if you engage in activities.

Perhaps engaging in hobbies or in other activities where you can meet new people.

I know when I was at my loneliness,

I meditated more.

I did more wood carving.

I spent more time thinking about my family members and all that they meant to me.

About things that we did.

And I put more of their pictures up on the wall.

You have to be kind to yourself.

You have to understand that it's okay to feel lonely.

And it doesn't reflect on your worth or your value as a person.

I know sometimes loneliness can be overwhelming.

And sometimes you might want to seek help from a counselor,

Or a therapist,

Or maybe a support group.

Those things can all help.

You need to build connections.

Build connections rather than a large number of acquaintances.

Because deep,

Genuine relationships can significantly alter your feelings of loneliness.

You have to be open and vulnerable.

Participating in community activities can help alleviate that feeling of loneliness.

Maybe go to a parade or something at your local recreation center.

It can help create a feeling of belonging and connection.

Loneliness is a universal feeling.

But it's important to remember that you are not alone.

Building connections,

Finding purpose,

And being proactive about social interactions can help alleviate your loneliness.

And if you're struggling,

Don't hesitate to ask for support and help.

Now here I'm going to pause again for a minute so you can just breathe and think.

And then I'll be back.

Now,

Still focusing on your breath.

I'd like us to set an intention.

Acknowledge your loneliness and embrace it with compassion.

Just focus on your breath.

Notice the rhythm of your inhales and exhales.

And as you breathe in,

Imagine inhaling calm and peace.

And as you breathe out,

Visualize releasing any tension or sadness.

Now I'd like you to visualize a safe place.

Imagine someplace where you feel completely safe and at peace.

It can be a real place or an imaginary place.

It might be a serene beach or a cozy room or a tranquil forest.

Mine is always a forest.

But let yourself be immersed in this place and feel its calming presence.

And bring to mind the feelings of loneliness you might be experienced or have experienced in the past.

Let yourself look at these emotions and feel them without judgment.

And recognize that it's okay to feel lonely.

And that these feelings are a natural part of being human.

Now imagine your loneliness is a dark cloud within your body.

And with each exhale,

Watch this cloud slowly dissolving and dissipating.

Feel the heaviness lifting,

Replaced by a sense of lightness and relief.

Focus on the connection you have with yourself.

And acknowledge that you're your own best companion.

Sometimes we need to embrace the solitude as a time to reflect and reconnect with our inner self.

Now if you feel willing,

I'd like you to repeat these affirmations either silently or out loud.

And I'll say each one twice.

I am at peace with my own company.

I am at peace with my own company.

I embrace this time of solitude.

I embrace this time of solitude.

And I am enough just as I am.

I am enough just as I am.

Now take a moment of gratitude.

Reflect on the positive aspects of solitude.

Think about the time you have to explore your interests to rest and grow.

Now as we come to a close,

Open your eyes and come back into the room.

Wiggle your fingers and toes and stretch and feel how good it is to be alive.

How good it is to be here in this moment.

Try to carry this sense of calm and self-connection with you as you move through your day.

And take your time often to return and remember loneliness is a part of being human.

But it can also be a pathway to deeper self-understanding and growth.

I hope this has been a beneficial practice for each and every one of you.

You are never alone.

Because we're here with you.

Till next time.

Reviews

Such beautiful words, Michael! Thank you for reminding me that I am never alone.

I love how you used shared memories to say how lonely we may feel when someone dear passes. I understood my father now, how he felt when both his parents and only brother passed within 18 months...🙏🏽🫂💖 Also, beautiful reflection on self- love and self-development. Great phrase-"soft" understanding, and many more. Thank you, dear Teacher🙏🏽💕✨️

Your words are so helpful for understanding loneliness. Yes I'm lonely but it should be bad. Thank you 🙏