Welcome,
And I hope that each one of you will come to find peace within yourself.
Today I want to talk a little bit about jealousy and envy,
And this talk is based on a live session I did,
So it's be available for people who weren't able to go to the live session.
Both jealousy and envy have a negative impact on our sense of calm.
Jealousy is defined as a resentment towards others because they possess something you think belongs to you,
And it's often accompanied by possessiveness,
Insecurity,
Or a sense of betrayal.
Psychologists say that jealousy is a natural emotion that has been observed in non-human species as well.
But jealousy can be incredibly destructive when it gets out of control.
Envy,
On the other hand,
Is a resentment towards others because of their possessions or their success.
But the envious don't necessarily assume that these things should have been theirs.
Envy may be linked to a lack of confidence or a sense of inferiority.
Of course,
The envious crave the things that others have that they don't.
And envy is often closely linked to greed and desire.
And of course,
Both of these are linked to anger.
Dealing with envy and jealousy can be a challenge,
But mindfulness practice can help.
If you think about it,
This is very similar to dealing with difficult thoughts.
And the problem is that these difficult thoughts often lead to people doing crazy things.
Since jealousy most often happens with couples,
Let's look at it from this perspective.
Here are some things you can do.
Look at your own insecurities.
Try to examine why you're feeling jealous or envious.
Usually something triggers these feelings,
Like someone flirting with your partner.
But you need to explore why you feel threatened.
Another thing to do is to communicate openly with your partner.
Talk to them,
Opening up about your feelings of jealousy.
And that gives them an opportunity to understand where you're coming from.
And they can adjust their behaviors also.
Another thing that really helps is talking with other people.
When you ask other people about what jealousy is like for them and how they cope with it,
You get a different perspective from your own.
And it also offsets the shame associated with feeling like there's something wrong with you because you feel jealous.
And probably the most important thing you need to do is to let go of judgment.
Allow yourself the space to be human,
Which often means feeling things that we don't want to feel or having thoughts we don't want to have.
You have to get to know your jealousy at its roots.
But try to do it in a compassionate way.
The Buddha said,
Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you.
Close your eyes now.
And let's begin to get in touch with our breath.
As always,
It doesn't matter if you're sitting,
Standing,
Or lying down.
The only thing that matters when we meditate is that you are comfortable and alert.
Let's scan our body and begin to relax.
Relax your face,
Unfurl your brow,
And unclench your jaw.
Relax your neck and your shoulders.
Maybe rotate your neck around and shrug your shoulders and just let them drop.
Relax your arms and your hands.
Look for any tension in your chest or belly.
Relax your legs and feet.
And as you begin to relax,
Start to focus even more on your breath.
Breathing in and breathing out,
One breath at a time.
Our breath is like a river as it flows in and flows out.
Just inhale slowly and gently exhale.
And notice your breath as it flows in and flows out.
Notice where you feel it.
Maybe a cool sensation in your nose.
Or the movement in your chest and belly as your breath flows in and flows out.
All the while,
We're just breathing in and breathing out,
One breath at a time.
Perhaps you can bring to mind someone who triggers feelings of jealousy or envy in you.
Picture them in your mind and then silently wish them well,
That they may be happy and healthy and successful.
And recognize that their joy does not diminish yours.
Now we need to extend the same kindness to ourselves.
Acknowledge that jealousy is a natural emotion,
But be gentle with yourself.
You're just human and we're all imperfect.
So if you feel comfortable,
Maybe put your hand over your heart and let's repeat some positive affirmations,
Either silently or out loud.
Let's just say,
I am enough.
I am enough.
I am perfect just as I am.
I am perfect just as I am.
Or you can say anything that you feel in this moment.
And now just continue to breathe.
And while you breathe,
Reflect on all the abundance in your life.
Think about all that you're grateful for.
Take this time to think about all that you have.
The people and things and animals all around you.
And then think about all the things that you have that others don't have.
And just know that you need to appreciate everything you have in your life.
Everything you have is a blessing.
No need to be jealous or envious.
And now as we come to a close,
Open your eyes and come back into the room and stretch and feel how good it is to be alive.
Notice how relaxed you feel.
Notice how good it feels to be in this moment.
This moment is the only moment we can be sure of.
It's the only moment that matters.
Remember what I've always said,
Forever is now.
The past is unchangeable and the future,
It doesn't exist except in our mind.
Notice,
Hear,
Now,
This is all you can be sure of.
Now remember that jealousy and envy is really an opportunity for your own growth and self-awareness.
And by practicing mindfulness and compassion,
You can transform envy and jealousy into a positive force.
I hope this has been a beneficial session.
I hope it's been calming.
And I hope it's given you some new insights.
We'd love to have you in our group here on Insight Timer.
Just search for Meditation with Michael.
And just remember to keep on breathing,
Breathing in and breathing out,
One breath at a time.
Until next time.
