Welcome,
And I hope that each one of you will come to find peace within yourself.
Today I want to talk a little bit about jealousy and envy,
And this meditation is based on our live session I did recently.
Both of those emotions have a negative impact on our sense of calm.
Jealousy is defined as a resentment towards others because they possess something you think belongs to you.
Envy is about lacking.
Jealousy is about losing.
With envy we have the comparing mind saying,
I want what you have.
It's usually a two-person dynamic.
The comparing mind is like looking at the person on the next cushion and thinking their practice is more peaceful than yours.
Jealousy on the other hand is the protecting mind saying,
I'm afraid of losing what is mine.
And this generally involves three people.
When it's rooted in fear of being replaced or losing a connection we value,
And when it's often accompanied by possessiveness,
Insecurity,
And a sense of betrayal.
But jealousy is incredibly destructive when it gets out of control.
So what are some things you can do?
And I'm going to talk about it in perspective of a couple because that's usually when jealousy rears its head.
You can look at your own insecurities.
Examine why you're feeling jealous or envious.
Usually something triggers these feelings,
Like someone flirting with your partner,
And you need to explore why you feel threatened.
Secondly,
A key thing is to openly communicate with your partner.
Consider speaking with them about your experience.
Opening up about your feelings of jealousy can give them an opportunity to understand where you're coming from and maybe adjust their behaviors to help you feel more secure in your relationship.
And another thing that I found is extremely helpful is to talk with other people.
Asking other people about what jealousy is like for them and how they cope with it.
This offsets the shame associated with feeling like there's something wrong with me for feeling this way.
Talking with others can help change your perspective and they can have to give you a view from someone else's angle.
You also have to let go of judgment.
Allow yourself the space to be a human,
Which often means having feelings that we don't want to feel or having thoughts we don't want to have.
Close your eyes now and let's get in touch with our breath.
It doesn't really matter if you're sitting,
Standing,
Lying down,
Or kicked back in your favorite recliner.
The only thing that truly matters when you meditate is that you're comfortable and alert.
So as we start to settle in,
Let's focus on our breath.
Breathing in and breathing out.
One breath at a time and then the next and then the next.
That is the present moment that we all strive for.
One breath,
One moment.
Let's scan our body.
Relax your face,
Unfurl your brow and unclench your jaw.
Relax your neck and relax your shoulders.
These are common places of tension in today's world because people are hunched over their phones and tablets and computers.
Relax your arms and your hands,
Maybe shake them loose and let them just drop where they will.
Look for any tension in your chest and belly.
Relax your legs and your feet.
And as you begin to relax,
Let's focus even more on our breath.
We breathe constantly,
So don't just breathe,
Think about your breath.
Maybe where you feel it,
A cool sensation in your nose as you breathe in.
Or the movement of your chest and belly as you breathe in and breathe out.
Our breath is like a river as it flows in and flows out.
If you have thoughts,
Just let them go.
They're like clouds in the sky or waves on a lake.
Just look at them with no judgment and let them go.
So we're just breathing.
Just feel yourself arriving in this moment just as you are.
And keep watching that sensation of your breath.
No need to change it,
Just notice it.
The rise,
The fall,
The gentle rhythm that has carried you through every moment of your life.
And just relax into this moment.
There's no place to be,
Nothing to do but relax and breathe.
Now gently bring to mind the feeling of jealousy or envy.
Not a story,
Not a person,
Just the feeling itself.
Now try to notice where it lives in your body.
Is it a tightness,
A heat,
A pressure,
A fluttering?
There is no right or wrong way for it to appear.
Let yourself acknowledge this is a human emotion.
Many people feel this,
I am not alone.
Allow the emotion to be here without pushing it away or feeding it.
Just witnessing.
Now I'm going to pause here for a minute and let you just breathe and think.
And I'll be back.
You know,
Jealousy and envy often arise from a place of longing.
A sense that something is missing.
Fear that we are not enough.
Or that someone else's gain diminishes our own worth.
And as you breathe,
Imagine offering compassion to the part of you that feels this way.
Not judgment,
Not shame,
Just understanding.
And let the emotion soften under the warmth of your attention.
With each breath,
Picture a warm light growing in your chest.
And with each inhale,
Watch it expanding outward.
Soft and steady and patient.
This light doesn't force anything.
It simply surrounds you with kindness.
And with every exhale,
Imagine a little loosening.
A little more space.
A gentle unwinding.
Notice how the emotion begins to shift when it is met with compassion instead of resistance.
Bring to mind something you value about your own journey.
A strength,
A quality,
A moment of growth.
A quiet resilience.
And let it rise naturally.
Feel how your path is uniquely yours.
No one else can walk it.
No one else can take it from you.
And let this truth settle into your chest like a warm stone.
And if it feels comfortable,
Bring to mind the person or situation that triggered jealousy or envy.
And from a place of spaciousness,
Offer a simple wish.
May you find what you seek.
And may I find what I seek.
Now if you're willing,
Place a hand over your chest.
And repeat the following positive affirmations.
Either silently or out loud.
And I'll say each one twice.
I release the belief that someone else's path diminishes my own.
I release the belief that someone else's path diminishes my own.
I honor my feelings without letting them define my worth.
I honor my feelings without letting them define my worth.
And last one.
I choose growth over comparison.
Trusting that my life unfolds in its own time.
I choose growth over comparison.
Trusting that my life unfolds in its own time.
No pressure.
No perfection.
Just a gentle widening of the heart.
Now just come back to your breath.
And feel the steadiness beneath you.
Feel the openness within you.
And once we come to a close,
Open your eyes and come back into the room.
Wiggle your fingers and toes and stretch.
And feel how good it is to be alive.
How good it is to be in this moment.
And realize that you are enough.
You always have been.
Hearing with you the understanding that jealousy and envy are not signs of failure.
They are invitations to reconnect with your own worth.
Your own path.
Your own inner light.
If you follow me,
You know that I like quotes.
And I have one for you today.
Philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said,
Surrounded by the flames of jealousy,
The jealous one winds up like the scorpion,
Turning the poison sting against himself.
Remember that jealousy and envy are like smoke.
We don't need to fight the smoke.
We just need to look for the fire.
I hope this has been a beneficial and calming session for each and every one of you.
Till next time.
