About Asking For Help

People asking for help is one of the most human, courageous things we do. There’s this strange myth that strength means handling everything alone, but in reality, the people who reach out are often the ones who understand themselves best. They recognize when they’re stretched thin, when something feels heavy, or when another perspective might open a door they can’t quite see yet. Join me for this meditation based on a recent live session. Music by Chris Collins. #128

Transcript

Welcome,

And I hope that each one of you will come to find peace within yourself.

Today I'm going to talk a little bit about asking for help or support,

And this meditation is based on a live session I did recently,

And it was requested in my group.

You know,

There's a strange myth that strength means handling everything alone,

But in reality,

The people who reach out and ask for help are often the ones who understand themselves best.

They recognize when they're stretched thin,

Or when something feels heavy,

Or when another perspective might open a door that they can't quite see.

And seeking support also creates a connection.

It gives others a chance to show up,

To contribute,

To feel useful.

I used to be really bad asking for help.

I guess like so many people,

I thought it was a sign of weakness.

And then when I was 29,

I had multiple strokes,

And my perspective changed.

My perspective changed about a lot of things.

Most of us want to help people around us.

We just don't always know how or when.

When someone asks,

It turns a private struggle into a shared moment of humanity.

And there's something else.

Asking for help is a form of self-respect.

It says,

I matter enough to get the support I need.

That's not weakness,

That's wisdom.

In daily life,

Asking for help shows up in all these small,

Almost invisible moments that end up shaping how supported we feel,

And how connected we are.

Just a few ways that it quietly shows up.

It prevents little stresses from becoming big ones.

Most people try to muscle through things.

Whether it's tech frustrations,

Or household tasks,

Or emotional weight.

When someone asks for help early,

The problem stays small.

It's like releasing the pressure from a pot before it boils over.

It also deepens relationships.

Letting someone help you is a form of trust.

It tells them,

You matter to me enough that I'm letting you into my world.

A story from my period of when I had strokes.

One day I was sitting in my chair,

Feeling kind of down.

And all of a sudden,

A ladder went up against the front of my house.

And a guy started climbing the ladder.

I levered myself out of my chair with my cane and dragged myself to the door.

And it was my next door neighbor.

And he said,

I know you've been sick,

So I wanted to clean out your gutters for you because I know you can't do it.

And I was just blown away.

It was so thoughtful.

And it was exactly the kind of thing I would do for someone if I was in good health at the time.

And from that point on,

I let people help me with things that were hard for me to do.

And I asked for help when I needed it.

Asking for help shows healthy behavior to others,

Especially if you're a parent or a grandparent.

When someone sees you ask for support without shame,

It gives them permission to do the same.

With young people,

It lets them see that it's okay to ask for help.

It creates a culture where people don't have to pretend that they're invincible.

Sometimes the only thing between a person and progress is a five-minute talk with someone who knows the answer.

Close your eyes now,

And let's get in touch with our breath.

It doesn't matter if you're sitting,

Standing,

Or lying down.

The only thing that truly matters when you meditate is that you're comfortable and alert.

As we start to settle in,

Let's focus on our breath.

We're just breathing in and breathing out one breath at a time.

And then the next.

And then the next.

And that is the present moment.

One breath,

One moment.

One breath at a time.

Let's scan our body.

Unfurl your brow.

Relax your face.

Unclench your jaw.

Relax your neck.

Relax your shoulders.

These are places of tension in today's world.

Too much time spent hunched over phones and tablets and laptop computers.

Relax your arms and your hands.

Look for any tension in your chest or belly.

Relax your legs and your feet.

And as you begin to relax,

Let's focus even more on our breath.

Our breath is our anchor.

It's there for us in all moments.

When we're happy,

When we're sad,

When we're stressed,

And when we need help.

Thoughts come and go.

They're like clouds in the sky,

Or waves on a lake,

Or leaves floating downstream on a river.

If you have thoughts,

Just let them go without judgment.

And the same goes for any sounds you might hear.

Just make sure you're settled into your comfortable position.

Let your hands just rest softly.

Let your shoulders drop.

Let your breath find its own natural rhythm.

Take a slow inhale,

And a long,

Easy exhale.

Feel the weight of your body.

Notice the gentle rise and fall of your breath.

And with each exhale,

Imagine releasing a little tension from your jaw,

Or from your shoulders,

Or from your belly.

Let yourself be held by the ground beneath you.

You don't have to do anything right now.

You don't have to solve anything.

Breathe.

Just breathe.

As you continue to breathe,

Imagine a warm light at the center of your chest.

It's soft,

And steady,

And comforting.

And with each inhale,

This light grows a little brighter.

And with each exhale,

It spreads gently outward.

This light represents your inner wisdom.

The part of you that knows when to reach out.

The part of you that knows when to lean on others.

The part that knows when to let yourself be supported.

Let this light fill your chest.

Let it spread out to your shoulders,

And to your arms,

And to your whole body.

And feel the warmth of being open,

Of being human,

Of being connected.

Just breathe.

Just breathe.

If you will,

Bring to mind a moment,

Either recent or long ago,

When someone helped you.

It might have been something small,

Just a hand on your shoulder,

Or a kind word,

Or someone showing you how to do something,

Or maybe just listening.

Recall how that moment felt.

Notice the relief,

The softening,

The sense of not being alone.

And just let yourself rest in that memory for a few breaths.

Now,

Bring to mind a time when you helped someone else.

Remember how natural it felt to offer support.

How good it felt to be useful,

To be trusted,

To be part of someone's life in a meaningful way.

Now let both of these truths sit together,

Side by side.

That you have been helped,

And that you have helped others.

This is the flow of being human.

Gently notice if there's any barriers inside you,

Old beliefs,

Old stories,

Old habits that make it hard to ask for help.

You don't need to judge them,

Just notice them.

Maybe there's a belief that you should handle everything alone.

Maybe there's a fear of being a burden.

Maybe there's a sense that asking for help means you're not strong.

Let each of these soften.

Let them loosen their grip.

And let them drift away on the exhale.

With every breath,

Feel the space inside you opening.

I'm going to pause for a minute and just let you think and breathe,

And then I'll be back.

Now,

We're just breathing,

Breathing in and breathing out,

One breath at a time.

And with every breath,

Feel the space inside of you opening.

Feel the possibility of receiving more energy,

Support,

Becoming easier,

More natural,

More welcome.

Imagine yourself standing on a quiet path.

The air is calm.

The light is soft and gentle.

You feel grounded,

Steady,

Present.

Ahead of you,

You see people,

People who care about you,

Friends,

Family,

Teachers,

Neighbors,

Mentors,

Community members.

They're not demanding anything.

They're simply there,

Open-hearted.

Now,

As you come to a close,

Open your eyes and come back to the room.

Wiggle your fingers and toes and stretch and feel how good it is to be alive,

How good it is to be here in this moment.

All people need help.

No one gets through this life alone.

Life is hard,

And we get through it together.

So never be afraid to ask for help.

It doesn't mean you're weak.

It means you're strong.

If you listen to my meditations,

You know that I like quotes,

And I have one today that just made me giggle,

And it was by author Alex Haley,

Who said,

Anytime you see a turtle on top of a fence post,

You know he had some help.

Very true.

I hope this has been a beneficial and calming session for each and every one of you.

I'm honored that you spent some time here with me.

Till next time.

Reviews

A very good reminder that we need help from others. I often forget that I require help from others and I have tendency to do things myself most of the time. Thank you so much