A Meditation On Not Taking Things Personally

When we resist the urge to internalize other people’s words or actions, we FREE ourselves from unnecessary emotional baggage. Remember, most of the time, people’s behaviors reflect their OWN internal struggles, biases, or perspectives—it’s rarely about US. This meditation is based on a recent Live Session. Join me. Music by Chris Collins. #101

Transcript

Welcome,

And I hope that each one of you will come to find peace within yourself.

Today,

I want to talk a little bit about not taking things personally.

It's really a superpower when you can learn to do that.

But when we resist the urge to internalize other people's words or actions,

We free ourselves from unnecessary baggage.

You have to remember that most of the time,

People's behaviors reflect their own internal struggles,

Biases,

Or perspectives.

It's very seldom about us.

And dealing with this is just another way of letting go.

If it doesn't serve you,

Let it go.

Here's how I can approach this concept.

Shift your perspective.

Imagine the person as a character in their own movie.

Their actions often stem from their story,

Not yours.

Another thing you can do is detach from your ego.

Recognize that your worth isn't determined by someone else's opinions or reactions.

Just practice self-compassion and remind yourself of your own intrinsic value.

We can have this a lot of times in our lives.

Comments from our parents,

Or our siblings,

Or teachers,

Or friends.

Okay,

So your mom thinks you're selfish,

But that's just her opinion.

It doesn't make it true.

Or your sister thinks you're vain.

But again,

That doesn't make it true.

It's her problem,

Not yours.

It's very common in the age of social media.

You get people who are basically strangers making comments about you.

Or comments to you.

And as the old saying goes,

You need to take it all with a grain of salt.

You have to let those opinions just go.

Otherwise,

They weigh you down.

I could give you endless examples,

But I'm sure you can think of plenty of your own from your own life.

When someone's behavior feels personal,

Ask yourself,

Is it really about me?

Or is it a reflection of their own challenges?

Often,

That alone can dissolve the sting.

And instead of thinking,

They hurt me,

Try viewing it as,

They're showing me their pain.

But as always,

You have to remember that holding on to a negative comment or interaction only weighs you down.

You have to release the need to control how others view you.

Focus on your own peace.

Yes,

It's nice when people view you in a positive light,

But it shouldn't define you.

And by the same token,

It shouldn't define you if they see you in a negative light.

It's not always easy,

But the more you practice,

The less power negativity will have over you.

Close your eyes now,

And let's begin to get in touch with our breath.

And it doesn't matter if you're sitting,

Standing,

Lying down,

Or kicked back in your favorite recliner.

The only thing that matters when you meditate is that you're comfortable and alert.

As we begin to settle in,

Let's scan our body.

Unfurl your brow.

Relax your jaw.

Relax your face.

Relax your neck.

Relax your shoulders.

And remember,

When you meditate,

You're not putting yourself in a coma.

You can roll your neck around or shrug your shoulders to help them loosen up.

Relax your arms and your hands.

And look for any tension in your chest and belly.

Relax your legs and your feet.

And as you begin to settle in,

Let's focus even more on our breath.

Our breath is our anchor.

It's there for us in all moments,

When we're happy,

When we're sad.

Our breath is like a river,

As it flows in and flows out.

Just gently inhale,

And then gently exhale.

But notice your breath.

Notice where you feel it.

Maybe a cool sensation in your nose as the air flows in.

Or the movement of your chest and belly as the air flows in and flows out.

Just continue to breathe at your normal pace,

And don't force anything.

Just let your breath move in and move out.

Let your breath flow like a river,

Sure and tranquil and calm.

And if you have thoughts,

Just let them go too.

Thoughts are like clouds in the sky,

Or waves on a lake,

Or leaves floating down a river.

They needn't concern you when you meditate.

Just focus on your breath,

And let the thoughts pass across your mind and out again.

Right now,

We're only concerned with our breath.

And the same goes for sounds.

If you hear sounds in the room,

Just let them go as well.

Barking dogs and meowing cats can affect your river of calm.

You're just breathing in and breathing out,

One breath at a time.

Now here I'm going to pause and just let you breathe and think for a minute.

And then I'll be back.

Now,

Just continue to breathe.

Continue to relax.

Just settle in and focus on your breath and listen to my voice.

Now I want you to sit there and bring your focus to the present moment.

And as you breathe in,

Say silently to yourself,

I am here.

And as you breathe out,

Say,

I am at peace.

Let's do that two more times.

I am here.

And I am at peace.

I am here.

And I am at peace.

Now feel the weight of the world begin to settle as you anchor yourself in this moment.

Now imagine you're holding a mirror,

But not to see yourself,

But to reflect the energy all around you.

Because often the words and actions of others are a reflection of their own experiences,

Their insecurities,

And their struggles.

They're not a reflection of you or your worth.

You can picture the words and actions directed at you like leaves on a gentle stream.

And just watch them float away.

Instead of grasping for them or letting them stick,

Allow the current to carry them away.

Let them drift out of reach and out of mind.

And yes,

I often make references to rivers because your life is like a river.

Now if you feel willing,

I'd like you to shift your focus inward.

And if you are willing,

Place a hand over your heart.

And if you can,

Feel your heart's steady rhythm.

Now if you're agreeable,

I'd like you to repeat the following positive affirmations.

You can say them out loud or to yourself,

Whichever makes you happy.

And I'll say each one twice.

I am enough.

I am enough.

I am not defined by others' perceptions.

I am not defined by others' perceptions.

And last one.

I release the need to take things personally.

I release the need to take things personally.

Now just continue to breathe.

Breathing in and breathing out,

One breath at a time.

And start to feel warmth radiating from within you.

This warmth is your strength,

Your self-worth,

Your unshakable center.

Now if you will,

Visualize yourself as a tree,

Grounded and strong.

And no matter how strong the storm,

You stand firm.

When harsh winds blow,

They might ruffle your leaves,

But they do not define the tree.

Like the tree,

You are rooted in your truth.

And the winds of external opinions cannot uproot you.

Feel yourself growing taller,

Stronger,

More confident,

And more peaceful with each and every breath.

Now as we come to a close,

Open your eyes and come back into the room.

Wiggle your fingers and toes and stretch and feel how good it is to be alive.

How good it is to be in this moment.

We're just here breathing in and breathing out,

One breath at a time.

And I hope this has been a beneficial and calming session for you.

In this day and age,

We get a lot of people making comments.

People are concerned about how many likes they have and how many people they have following them.

I want to give you a quote from author Abraham Hicks,

Who put it simply,

And he said,

People will love you,

People will hate you,

And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Again,

I hope this has been a beneficial and calming session.

Till next time.

Reviews

😊 I really enjoyed your uplifting, joyous energy infused in this helpful talk and meditation 💖
Thank you so much 🙏

Great reminders and reflection. Gratefully letting go of what does not serve me, one breath at a time.
Thanks.

Very powerful and clear session, as always, dear Michael. Brilliant conclusion, thank you 🙏🏾💕🌳👏🏿

This was very powerful. What resonated the most with me is that it is not about you, but it is about their pain and their internal struggles. That makes so much sense and I never thought of negative comments that way. Thank you, Michael.