Welcome,
And I hope that each one of you will come to find peace within yourself.
Today,
I'm going to talk a little bit about dealing with difficult people.
This meditation is based on a live session I did recently.
Difficult people,
We all encounter them in our lives.
It's the grumpy neighbor or co-worker,
The irritating aunt or sister,
The obstinate boss,
The overworked cashier at the market.
And managing reactions to difficult individuals is a skill that takes practice.
It takes a plan,
But it can make a huge difference in reducing your stress and maintaining peace.
And dealing with difficult people is similar to dealing with difficult thoughts.
I'm going to give you a few ideas about how you can take control.
Pause before you react.
When someone pushes your buttons,
Take a breath before responding.
You know me,
Taking a breath is always a good idea.
But a brief pause gives you time to process and respond thoughtfully rather than impulsively.
It also helps to shift your perspective.
Try to see the situation from a neutral angle.
Ask yourself,
Is their behavior really about me,
Or is it their own issue?
Often,
People act out due to their own struggles.
And this is often the most common reason for people being difficult.
It helps if you control your tone and your body language.
It's difficult for someone to get in a fight if you're keeping calm and having a steady tone and an open posture.
It helps prevent escalation.
And even if you're frustrated,
Appearing composed and calm can set the tone for a better interaction.
Just speak clearly,
Be direct,
But remain respectful.
Assertiveness allows you to stand your ground without provoking defensiveness.
And what I found in my life is that it helps to notice your patterns,
Your reactions.
If certain behaviors trigger irritation in you,
Work on recognizing them early so you can stay ahead of your own emotions.
I said I sometimes get irritated with people,
And in the past I would make snarky comments.
I try not to do that anymore.
Another thing you can do is let go of the need to win.
This used to be a problem for me as well.
Sometimes if you let go of the urge to prove a point or correct someone,
It's the best way to maintain your peace.
And as with so many areas of our lives,
Practicing mindfulness,
Taking some breaths,
Doing meditation,
Grounding exercises can help keep emotions in check during stressful interactions.
You have to keep your boundaries firm.
You don't need to engage in every conflict.
Close your eyes now,
And let's start to get in touch with our breath.
It doesn't matter if you're sitting,
Standing,
Lying down,
Or kicked back in your favorite recliner.
The only thing that truly matters when we meditate is that you're comfortable and alert.
As we begin to settle in,
Let's scan our body.
Relax your face.
Unfurl your brow and unclench your jaw.
Relax your neck.
I always roll mine around in a circle,
Because remember,
You're not putting yourself into a coma when you meditate.
You can move.
Relax your shoulders.
Relax your arms and hands.
And look for any tension in your chest and belly.
Relax your legs and your feet.
And as you begin to settle down in,
Let's focus even more on our breath.
Our breath is our anchor.
It's there for us in all moments.
It's there for us when we're happy,
When we're sad.
It's there for us when we are dealing with a difficult person.
So just focus on your breath.
Don't just breathe.
Notice your breath.
Pay attention to it.
Notice the cool sensation in your nose as the breath flows in,
Or the movement of your chest and belly as the breath flows in and flows out.
Just breathe.
Breathing in and breathing out,
One breath at a time.
Just continue to breathe and don't force anything.
Our breath is like a river as it moves in and out.
Let your breath flow like a river,
Sure and tranquil and calm.
And if you have thoughts,
Just let them go.
They needn't bother us when we meditate.
Thoughts are like clouds in the sky or waves on a lake or leaves floating downstream on a river.
Just let them go.
And if you hear sounds in the room,
Just let those go too.
Barking dogs and meowing cats can't affect your river of calm.
Your breath is a powerful river of calm,
A stream of peace and tranquility.
Now I'd like you to imagine with each breath sending warmth and relaxation to your body.
And if you will,
Visualize the person who has been difficult for you.
Picture them in your mind and observe them without engaging in frustration.
Just picture them there.
Now imagine them as a child before the burdens of life shape them.
And try to understand that their actions stem from their own struggles and limitations.
It doesn't mean we have to excuse their behavior,
But allow yourself to soften,
To let go of resistance.
And if you're willing,
I'd like you to repeat either out loud or to yourself.
I'm going to say this three times.
I am grounded.
Their actions do not define me.
I choose peace.
Say it again.
I am grounded.
Their actions do not define me.
I choose peace.
One more time.
I am grounded.
Their actions do not define me.
I choose peace.
Now,
Just continue to follow your breath,
Breathing in and breathing out,
One breath at a time.
And I'd like you to imagine setting an invisible boundary that protects your energy while remaining open.
And just picture yourself walking away from negativity,
Carrying only wisdom and peace and calm with you.
And as you breathe in,
Affirm your own strength.
As you breathe out,
Release the weight of interactions that do not serve you.
Because in our lives,
We have to let go of anything that does not serve us.
Things that people have said,
Old friendships,
Old relationships,
Anything in your life that doesn't serve you,
That doesn't make your life better and more full,
You need to let it go.
Let it go.
And when dealing with complicated people who look for conflict in everything,
It's best if you can just let that go,
Too.
Now,
You know how I like quotes,
So I'm going to give you a quote before we close,
And you just follow your breath.
Singer Jeanette Coran said,
Sometimes the bad things we experience in life can teach us the greatest and most valuable lessons.
The bad things we experience and the bad people we meet teaches us how to be stronger,
How to learn to forgive,
How to have patience,
How to keep a good attitude when things are difficult.
Wise words.
So it helps if you develop a plan for dealing with difficult situations.
Take a breath.
Try not to always win the argument.
Try to keep calm and project your calm to the other person.
I hope this has been a beneficial and calming session.
Till next time.
