The Paradox Of Self-Acceptance

How do we accept ourselves as perfect and whole as we are right now when we also know that there is so much we would like to change and improve about ourselves? It is a paradox, to be sure. One that when held lightly can bring humor, relief, and a sense of hope.

As we begin to separate ourselves from our suffering, as we begin to identify with the one witnessing the experience of suffering but not the suffering itself, we can start to soften into self-acceptance. As we begin to identify as the ones witnessing our problems, rather than as the problems themselves or even as the one who owns the problems, they trouble us less.

Transcript

I just finished my morning meditation and it was an unexpectedly deep one,

And I had an insight that I'd like to share with you because I think it might bring you some peace.

Underneath all of your personality constructs,

Underneath all of your problems,

Underneath all of the external circumstances in your life that are partially or completely dysfunctional or seemingly dysfunctional,

Underneath all the things that you don't like about your life,

About your circumstances,

About yourself,

There is a you,

There is an essence that is pure goodness.

There is a you that is pure bliss,

Completely untainted,

Unconditioned,

Untouched by all of the dramas of life,

All the illusions,

The illusory dramas of life.

You see,

All of those things that you may not like about your circumstance or your life or yourself,

They're not really you.

There are layers and layers of false identification with the not-self,

Identification with the ego,

Identification with the personality structure,

Identification with things that aren't you.

And the beauty of that is that no matter how challenging it might seem right now,

No matter how frustrated or exasperated or exhausted you might be,

No matter how challenging or daunting the deconditioning work that you face may appear,

Even if you're stuck,

Seemingly stuck,

Under a large pile of conditioning and self-imposed limitation,

And you're thinking to yourself,

Oh my gosh,

In order to become my authentic self,

There's so much there that I have to shed.

Even if that's the case,

You're already perfect and whole as you are.

And this is the paradox.

Your essence is pure.

Your essence is pure bliss,

Peace,

Wholeness,

As you are right now today,

Without changing a single thing.

Yes,

It is worth doing the deconditioning work.

Yes,

It is worth doing the healing.

Yes,

It is worth doing the learning and the growing to shed those false identifications,

To shed those false beliefs of who you are,

Those false perceptions of what is you and what is not you.

Yes,

It is worth doing that work.

And you don't need to do a single minute of that work in order to be perfect and whole as you are right now.

So this is the paradox.

And this is my,

I don't know,

My wish for you,

My encouragement to you,

My invitation to you today is find the both.

Find the humor.

Find the divine comedy in that bothness of,

Man,

I really fucking want to change almost everything about myself and my life because,

Geez,

This thing is just not working.

Or maybe it's not so intense for you.

Maybe it's just,

Man,

I really want to change that one thing because it's really bothering me.

So work on changing it,

Yes.

And at the same time,

Remember,

Reconnect with the fact that you're already perfect exactly as you are.

And if that doesn't scramble your brain just a little bit,

Then perhaps you have something that you could teach to the world.

And so I'd encourage you to do that too.

But maybe just let it scramble your brain a little bit.

Maybe that's okay.

Maybe that's okay.

Well,

Thank you for listening.

I love you.

I wish only good things for you to the extent that it serves you.

I wish a full and a rich life for you.

And I'm so grateful that you've made the time to be with me today.

Reviews

Yes . . . you're onto " it '' . . . Exactly where I need to be and am ! is encapsulated in these few minutes you Shared ! Love that this is the first of your Offerings I've heard . . . ! I am not 'special' . . however, i am a part of Humankind that is equal parts incredible, unique, wondrous, exciting, phenomenal, and Weird. As you clearly stated Both Are True . . .the parts undergoing Deconstruction & the fact that as Part of Humankind i am All That Goodness & Light that we behold in Nature with Wonder & Love.. . . i can Love myself and still know to be human is also to be imperfect! & You as well ? Peace, monk