This meditation is on forgiveness.
I used to have the idea in my mind that forgiveness was a bit like a presidential pardon and that it meant that someone no longer had to serve some sort of sentence.
I also envisioned it as a decision and once made that was all that it took.
I've since discovered that forgiveness for me is more of a practice and it's an exchange of sorts.
That was a revelation to see it as a giving for.
Whether I'm forgiving myself for something that I wish I would have done differently.
Or someone else for some harm,
Some betrayal,
Or life itself for some sort of disappointment.
I believe the process of forgiveness is the same.
I'd like to share mine with you today in this meditation.
So settle in to a posture that you find comfortable and yet alert if seated with your spine straight and upright.
And your head held just a little higher.
And now let's take three deep and relaxing breaths together.
Breathing in slowly,
Fully,
Deeply.
Exhaling gradually,
Gently,
And again in and down.
Then up and out.
And again,
Breathing in fully and out gently.
Setting the intention to allow thoughts to come and go as they will.
And perhaps treat them like a TV in another room.
Bringing your attention inward to this process,
This practice of forgiveness.
Allowing any distractions to dull into a murmur in the background.
And now bring to mind something that you've done,
That another did,
Or that's happened in life.
For which you feel regret,
Resentment,
Or victimhood.
Allow enough detail to come to mind to conjure a bit of emotion.
The feeling of shame if it's yours,
Of anger if it's another's,
Or the confusion of unfairness if it's life itself.
Allow space for the image and the feelings,
And yet a little distance as though you were observing that on a screen from afar.
And understand that you,
With thought,
Can grow the size of the feeling,
The vividness of the imagery.
That is your choice.
Also understand the toxicity of making that choice,
As though it's akin to firing an unhealthy stove in a closed room with no ventilation,
The noxious fumes of shame that can grow and poison,
Or resentment that can burn,
And instead allow the possibility of letting go.
If it feels comfortable affirming silently in your mind the phrase,
I am willing to forgive.
And perhaps a feeling of openness can come with that,
As though you were opening windows in your soul,
Windows in your heart,
Allowing the noxious poisonous fumes to dissipate just a bit,
And to further the breeze,
The clearing breeze that's possible.
Affirm silently the words,
I want help to forgive.
And notice the slight open breezy feeling in the area of the heart.
Understanding is not important.
Perhaps this outside help comes from life itself,
Life with a capital L.
Perhaps love.
Maybe saints,
Sages,
Mystics,
It matters not how.
What matters is the willingness and the asking.
And now,
What is it that you wish to put in the place of that shame,
That resentment?
What would you give for?
Give up the toxicity for the healing of peace.
Maybe a grounded boundary in which you live with clarity.
Perhaps a sense of quiet resolve to do things that will reduce the likelihood of further injustice.
Quiet sanctuary from life is another possibility.
Allow your heart and your soul to tell you what it is you wish to put in this place.
Forgiveness is a process of revisiting the hurt,
Allowing it to dissipate,
And putting the antidote in its place.
Giving one for the other.
And in addition to a mental process of understanding,
The emotional inner exchange and practice of allowing the feeling of pain,
Intending for it to dissipate,
And embodying the antidote of courage,
Of kindness,
Of love.
Forgiveness is a journey.
Sometimes one or two visits to the place of hurt is all it takes.
For other wounds,
The journey lasts a lifetime.
And yet,
Each practice,
Each giving for,
Is worth the effort and brings healing.
So as we bring this meditation toward its close,
I offer appreciation for your courage in revisiting your pain,
And celebrate your choice to give it for its antidote.
