The Freedom Of Surrender (Step 1 Of The 12-Step Wisdom)

Step 1 of the 12-step recovery program opens us to the gift of surrender.

This meditation uses visualization of our life history to foster clarity about how a seemingly harmless coping tool can turn into an addiction over time. Seeing our past with clarity, compassion, and objective distance can enhance self-compassion. From that place, it's natural to feel courage and determination to adopt new healthier ways of meeting life.

Transcript

This meditation is on step one in the 12 step tradition.

The original version reads,

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol,

That our lives had become unmanageable.

This step has been adapted to work for those in recovery from any and all types of addiction.

The principles are the same,

And what I'd like to do today with you is to meditate a bit on how surrender can bring release and how surrender is an act of strength and an act of courage,

Not an act of defeat.

And as one advances along the path of recovery,

Hopefully you learn that you don't have to wait until the pain point gets as intense.

That's certainly been my experience,

And I hope this meditation is something that will be useful for you regardless of where you're at,

Whether it's brand new in recovery or with many years under your belt.

So with that said,

I'd encourage you to find a posture that's comfortable for meditation.

I prefer seated in an upright posture with my spine erect.

Consider holding your head just a little higher,

Tucking the chin and bringing your heart forward,

Moving your shoulders back just a bit.

And allow the eyes gently to close.

Let's take three full and relaxing breaths together,

Expanding the belly on the inhale,

Breathing down,

And releasing slowly.

And again,

Perhaps a little slower and a bit deeper with the inhale,

Then a long and relaxed exhale.

And one more full,

Deep breath.

Now allowing your breathing to return to its normal rhythm,

Bring your attention in and in further and deeper,

Allowing the outside world to recede.

Thoughts to seem a bit further away when they cross the mind.

Sensations slightly muffled,

Bringing your inner attention deeper.

Within and toward that place of quiet and peace.

And now imagine being able to take that attention up and out of the body,

Directly above where you are in this moment,

Looking down on the top of your head and your shoulders,

The tops of your legs and your feet,

Looking around at the place you are now.

And now that image fades to darkness.

And in your mind's eye,

With merely a thought,

You have the ability to rewind time and to go back to the beginning of this habit that you are now surrendering,

Whether it's drinking some form of drug use or anything that no longer serves you.

Look back in your mind's eye on the screen that's normally dark to the beginning,

And you'll see perhaps foggy,

Blurry,

But images of when this habit first served you,

Perhaps bringing a sense of relaxation or belonging.

Somehow,

In some ways,

It seemed to be a healing balm for life's difficulties,

Taking that drink,

Taking that drug,

Or whatever it is that's now a problem,

Then it was a solution.

And as you are looking down upon yourself in those days,

A feeling of growing understanding of why you did this is coming back to you.

And now,

In your mind's eye,

That image fades into darkness.

And with a thought,

You're able to fast forward in time to a place when you began to have troubles,

Difficulties.

The solution was creating problems,

Perhaps with your work,

Maybe in relationships,

Most certainly in your inner experience.

There was an anxiety rising,

A doubt,

A second guessing.

Perhaps a bit of shame was creeping in about some of the things that were happening as a result of your overdoing this thing,

Whether it was drinking too much,

Doing your favorite drug too often,

Or again,

Any other habit that started out as a mere coping pleasure practice that's now turned into a maladaptive habit bordering on compulsion.

And you can look down in your mind's eye upon that version of yourself with compassion and a bit of sadness,

Knowing what's yet to come,

Feeling in your heart a warmth,

A sadness,

A feeling of bruise.

And now that image fades to black.

And in your mind's eye with a thought,

You can fast forward the imagery to the point where things were at their worst.

The image becomes clearer as you look down upon that version of yourself.

And you see and feel the echoes of the tremendous pain at that time.

And you have understanding and clarity about the reality of the situation,

The need for surrender,

The wisdom of giving up the fight that had you continuing to try to bring back some comfort,

Some old glory days that were long past.

You experience a sense of knowing,

Looking down upon that version of yourself,

Knowing that it's time to let go,

That what began as a shield from pain,

As a shroud from discomfort,

Has now turned into a cage,

A trap.

And you know that your surrender is the key that unlocks that trap.

And looking down upon that version of yourself,

You have the beginnings of the feelings that come with finding freedom,

That knowing that comes from experience of walking on a path toward recovery,

To becoming more of the person that you know you can be,

That you're called to be.

Looking down upon that version of yourself one last time,

You offer a sense of gratitude for that experience,

For the silver lining gift that comes from enduring that storm cloud of hitting bottom.

And so that image fades to darkness,

And in your mind's eye with a thought again,

You fast forward back to this present moment.

And the image of you now becomes clear.

Looking down from above again,

You see the top of your head and shoulders,

Your legs,

Your feet.

And bringing your focused attention back into your body,

You feel the sensation of your seat in the seat,

Your feet on the floor,

Your breath in your body.

And in your mind and in your spirit,

You feel the freedom that you've given yourself from this surrender,

Surrendering a fight that cannot be won,

And in exchange stepping on a new path,

A new path of meeting life without that crutch that became a cage.

Knowing this first step you're now taking is the first of many toward the you that you will love to be.

The feeling in your heart perhaps is a bit of uplift and curiosity about what's to come.

Surrender.

Try something new.

And so as we bring this meditation toward its close,

I offer appreciation and thank you for meditating with me.

And congratulations to you for taking another step in your path of recovery.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Reviews

What a beautiful way to bring light into my recovery and where the void originated. ✨️

Thank you, i’m inspired and I will meditate to step 1 until I am free!

Thank you for the different interpretation of step 1 and journey back to the beginning and then forward to today! 🙏🙏🙏A daily surrender!

As a person who attends Al
Anon I thank you for your meditations. I always benefit from them. Thank you.

Such a simple yet profound guided journey through this specific session. I look forward to following through the rest of the principles

Gently presented to enable me to face the pain and feel supported in letting it go.

Love it. Great for new ppl in recovery! I'm going to share it with them. Thank you Matt!

Perfect. Calming. Inspiring. Thank you.

Thank you

I like the images of seeing myself in the different times of my life. Thank you for sharing.

So powerful

Letting go of the learned behaviors that kept me alive, but then kept me caged.

More please

Excellent! Thank you. 🙏

Lovely meditation. Thanks!

Thank you

This really opened up ALOT for me this morning as I continue through 12 step recovery. Thank you so very much I will return and again and again to this one over the next weeks.

Amazing...thank you...im sending to all my NA and AA friends in recovery. Bless you! 🙌

So grateful to have found you.

Helpful, thank you