You are not your mind,
But it has a lot to say about everything.
Have you ever noticed there's a voice inside your head that just won't shut up?
It comments on everything.
The weather,
Your haircut,
The people walking too slowly in front of you,
And it saves its very best material for judging you.
This inner commentator behaves like it's auditioning for the role of supreme being,
Yet in reality it's more like a frazzled intern with no training,
Trying to run your entire life.
Most people never question it.
They hear the voice and assume,
Yep that's me,
That's who I am,
That must be my reliable inner wisdom.
But the truth is,
That voice is not you,
It's just thinking.
And thinking is something the mind does.
The same way that the stomach digests food and the liver,
Well,
Livers.
The mind thinks endlessly,
Whether it needs to or not.
And one of the places where this becomes painfully obvious is when you're trying to learn something new,
Especially something like a musical instrument.
The moment you pick up a guitar,
Or sit at a piano,
Or open your mouth to sing,
The mind steps in with commentary,
And it's rarely kind.
It will comment on your current ability,
Usually in the most unflattering way possible.
It will say things like,
That sounded terrible,
You should be better by now,
And why can't you do this properly?
Instead of allowing the simple joy of making sound,
The mind turns the whole experience into a problem that needs solving.
And the problem,
It decides,
Is you.
Not time,
Not process,
Not patience,
Apparently it's confidence,
Or talent,
Or the fact that you didn't start when you were six.
It may even say,
You're too old,
You either have the natural talent,
Or you don't.
Everyone will laugh at you.
And here's the strange thing,
Most people would love to be able to play an instrument,
Or sing,
Or do both.
I know,
I'm a music teacher,
I get it all the time.
Yet the mind will confidently tell you that you lack confidence.
Which actually raises a very interesting question.
If you're confident that you have no confidence,
Isn't that confidence?
The mind never notices the contradiction.
Because the mind actually isn't interested in truth,
It's interested in protecting its identity.
Your identity is the character you believe you're playing in the social theater of earth.
It's made of beliefs,
Values,
Likes,
Dislikes,
And all the stories you tell yourself about who you are.
So when that identity feels threatened by criticism,
Comparison,
Or the possibility of embarrassment,
The mind panics.
It might say,
You can't do this,
Everyone's watching,
Run,
Hide,
Fake your own death.
Sometimes it brings physical sensations along for the ride,
Like shaky breath,
Trembling hands,
Stomach knots,
Or gymnastics.
In extreme cases,
The classic musician pre-gig vomit.
Yes,
It happens.
No,
It's not glamorous.
But none of this is actually you.
It's just survival programming,
Trying and failing to protect a fictional character.
Music becomes especially distorted by this,
Because the mind treats it like sport.
But music is not sport.
It's not a competition.
It's not a race.
It's not a metric that needs constant improvement,
Or you're somehow a failure.
You're not trying to outdo your friends.
You're not competing with your neighbors.
You're not trying to impress your family,
Or become the next rockstar sensation or musical genius.
You're not seeking approval.
You're not trying to be worshipped.
You're simply experiencing sound.
That's it.
Your body moves.
Your ears hear vibration.
Your nervous system responds.
Sound happens,
And something inside you recognizes itself,
That's already complete.
Now for some people,
This may sound a bit dry,
Because the mind loves drama.
Drama makes life feel exciting,
Or at least gives the illusion of excitement.
But drama is also what separates you from the real experience of life.
And the real experience of life,
When it's actually felt,
Is something far more precious,
More alive,
And more blissful,
Than anything drama could ever provide.
Drama is like caffeine.
You think you need it to get going in the morning.
It gives you a hit,
A bit of an edge,
But it's unsustainable,
And the crash is unforgiving.
Reality to a caffeinated mind can seem dull or flat.
But reality,
When the mind quietens down,
And awareness comes forward,
It isn't dry at all.
It's bliss.
The peace and bliss that arise when the mind settles,
And the heart opens,
Is the most potent feeling you will ever experience.
More powerful than any drug,
More nourishing than any alcohol,
And without any side effects.
No hangover,
No regret.
Instead,
Your well-being improves,
Your health improves,
Your relationships soften,
Every experience deepens.
Reality is not dull and dry,
Like the mind would have you believe.
What you think of as dry,
Is simply a mind that's turned up too loud.
It's like scrolling on your phone.
You know you should stop,
But the mind says,
Hang on,
There might be something good coming up.
So you keep going,
Sometimes for years.
Eventually,
If you're paying attention,
You'll see that every promise the mind makes leads to the same dead end.
But please don't take my word for it.
You have to see it for yourself.
I'm nothing special.
I'm not enlightened.
I'm not above it all.
I'm just someone who's looked.
Think of me less as a teacher,
And more as a tour guide,
Saying,
Hey,
Have a look over here.
See a lily floating on water.
Notice the difference between living things and inanimate objects.
Notice that the world is alive with energy.
And maybe,
Just maybe,
You're already in heaven,
And the mind has been labelling it as something else.
Don't believe me?
That's okay.
Have a look.
Experience it.
See for yourself.
In a moment,
I'm going to let the words fade.
There's nothing you need to do.
No technique.
No effort.
Just allow the sound to move through you.
And welcome back.
Thank you for being here.
For now,
Let the sound linger.
Let the body settle.
Let the mind do whatever it's going to do,
Without needing to follow it.
And remember,
You don't need to silence your thoughts.
You just need to stop mistaking them for who you are.
Until next time,
Take care,
And be gentle with yourself.
