How To Hear Your Heart Sing

Finding our next passion or purpose in life -- really hearing our heart sing -- can be challenging sometimes. How do we uncover what we truly desire when there is so much noise? Often, we can feel like we're not allowed to want what we want. Thoughts rush into our minds that tell us we can't, we shouldn't, or it's not possible. But what if there is a simple way to listen beyond all of that ... and to hear the truth?

Transcript

Hello there,

This is Mary Schiller,

Author and coach.

The topic of this particular talk was inspired by a message I received recently from someone who was asking me in a very serious way,

What if I just don't know what I want to do?

How do I get in touch with what is really calling to me at this point in my life?

It's been such a long time since I focused in on what my true desires are that I don't even feel like I can see or hear them anymore.

If that sounds familiar to you,

You are definitely not alone because many people that I have worked with over the years have a similar question and I really understand it because we're often going through our days doing a lot of things that we don't really enjoy doing,

At least not in a way that makes us feel completely fulfilled.

Consequently,

We're often looking for the thing that is going to add new life to our life,

Essentially.

You may be fiercely looking for this thing that's going to bring the fire back into your life.

You may be listening for it within yourself and I like to call them heart callings.

That seems like an apt name to me.

You might think of it as your next passion or maybe it's a passion that's been there but has been long forgotten and yet it's still somewhere within you.

At this point in time though,

It's just not obvious what it is.

Nothing is really lifting your heart.

When you think of doing something,

I have a suspicion about what the thought pattern is here because I've seen this in myself and definitely in other people.

It's something along the lines of,

Oh gosh,

I would love to do such and such but,

And then after the but comes something like,

It's just not feasible or I don't know if that'll really make me happy or maybe I should be thinking about doing something that's more practical.

I'm not so young anymore.

Maybe it's about money so you might think,

Yes,

But how can I earn a living from this?

It's just impossible.

Or even if you accept that it's impossible to do,

You might also have a thought that says,

Yeah,

It's really silly.

I mean,

What would people think if I went and tried to do this thing,

Whatever it is?

Would people laugh at me?

Would they say,

You are just too old to be doing that?

Or that's not something you could ever succeed at.

In other words,

There are a whole lot of thoughts flying around,

A lot of statements that try to negate that desire that came up in you that arose within your inner space.

Many of us believe that when those kinds of thoughts come up,

We are supposed to try to change them.

In other words,

The best thing to do is to try to switch them from something that sounds negative into something that sounds more positive,

More courageous,

More confident.

I used to try to do that myself.

I used to try to change those thoughts and I don't know if this will make sense,

But it felt sometimes like I was physically inside my own mind trying to push them away or twist them around into something more acceptable.

It was exhausting.

So,

So tiring.

I felt like I was not just constantly arguing with myself,

But fighting with myself inside my own mind and my own heart.

I might have a thought of,

Oh gosh,

I would really love to do such and such,

But I just can't.

It's not possible right now.

And then every single reason under the sun would appear to undermine it.

And then there I would go.

I would try to bat those thoughts away or I'd try to flip them around and say,

But you can,

Mary,

You can.

At the time,

I didn't know what else to do.

And I was also at a place when I'm thinking back on this,

Where I really felt lost as to what I was supposed to do with my life.

It seemed like the logical thing to do to try to manage or stop those thought processes and try to uncover the truth somehow by doing that,

But it didn't work.

Now,

However,

I see things very differently,

Where I used to spend a lot of time trying to get rid of those thoughts that seemed negative and self-defeating or where I would try to force through my sheer will a better answer to appear.

Now,

When I hear those kinds of thoughts,

Or even if I don't hear them specifically,

But I just have an undercurrent of all of that and I have a sensation or an emotion or feeling going on,

I know that I can simply not pay attention because you and I are not contained in those little teeny weeny thoughts that can appear to be large and foreboding,

But they're actually not.

They have no weight,

Literally,

They have no weight to them.

They are simply patterns that have developed and when those thoughts and feelings arise,

Our mind goes into action and tries to organize them,

Tries to sort them out,

Tries to determine what they all mean.

Sometimes I like to liken it to the almighty Google,

Where Google will give us what it believes are the most relevant search results because of what we've looked up before,

But that's only based on on habitual patterns.

It's not necessarily based on the truth.

And it's the same with these thoughts that come up that try to tell us all of these things about what we can and can't do.

They're only based on patterns.

They have nothing to do with reality because the reality is you and I are limitless.

We have no limitations,

Especially on what we can want,

What we can desire,

What we can dream about doing.

I mean,

It might be true that I'm not going to become an Olympic swimmer or something at this stage of my life,

Maybe in the senior Olympics,

But not in the regular ones.

I'm not talking about those kinds of things.

You and I can certainly have dreams about new things that we want to try,

Things that might really speak to us,

Things that we may have a hidden talent for that we've just never even attempted.

All of that is possible.

And so the question then is based on what this person asked me,

Well,

How do we hear these heart callings?

Well,

The first thing I would like to say is that no matter what thoughts you may be seeing or hearing,

The ones that are flying in front of your face all the time,

No matter what those are,

They do not change the truth of who you are.

They don't change the truth.

They don't change the fact that you're limitless.

They don't change the fact that you have greater depth than any ocean on this planet.

So what do we do?

We wait it out.

You might say that my interior motto is just wait it out,

Mary.

When I have thoughts that seem to be clouding my ability to access my true self,

Even though that's not true,

Our true self is there all the time and is helping us every single moment of every day.

We can just wait it out,

Wait out whatever the thoughts and feelings are that are flying by.

And here's the second piece that's so important.

We don't need to worry about them,

No matter how our brain has labeled them as good or bad feelings,

Good or bad thoughts,

Positive or negative feelings and thoughts,

Wanted or unwanted feelings or thoughts,

No matter how our brain has labeled them,

They are all neutral.

They don't mean anything significant.

All those thoughts and feelings,

No matter what they are,

Are like colors of the rainbow.

They are all meant to be there.

They're all meant to be experienced.

They don't need to cause us so much worry and concern because underneath that is the truth,

Is the real truth of who we are.

And once we simply know that we don't have to be concerned about what all of those thoughts and feelings are trying to tell us,

We wait it out and that lighter yet also deeper presence emerges.

It will settle within you again.

For me,

Sometimes during this process of waiting it out,

What emerges is that childlike wonder again.

The child who dreams big and doesn't even know they're dreaming big because they're just dreaming.

And often when we can do this,

When we just wait it out and we feel ourselves settling again into the truth,

Everything looks possible.

And that's because it is possible.

That's our real reality.

That is the reality that we're meant to be living in more and more of the time because that's what's truly on offer to us.

That wide open space with no limitations,

Where we can run where we want to,

We can do what we desire,

We can dream and have and be anything without feeling like we have to constrain ourselves in some way.

So if you find yourself in that place where nothing is really making your heart sing,

You're just not hearing that heart calling,

It is definitely not that there's nothing there to make your heart sing.

It's already singing a beautiful song just for you.

It's simply that the thoughts and feelings that have become rather typical for you are drowning it out momentarily,

But just momentarily.

That heart calling is still there.

All you need to do is wait a moment.

Just wait for all of that to move along.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

That's probably one of the biggest lessons I have learned in recent years is that even if thoughts and feelings emerge that tell us we can't or we shouldn't or anything like that,

They're truly meaningless in the face of who we actually are and what we're capable of doing.

This is Mary Schiller.

Bye for now.

Reviews

I went through this not too long ago after a family member passed. I was numb, felt mentally overwhelmed constantly at war with myself. And then I finally sought help; medically and spiritually. Your words reflected what I’ve experienced. My journey is far from over but I now can feel my heart singing. Thank you! 🙏🏻 💛

Deeply, deeply comforting and reassuring ❤️🙏🫂💎🐚Thank you for this!

Thank you so much Mary. This is a great talk to keep listening to over and over. It’s so profound but simple. Much love to you ✨💛✨