Foundations Of Wisdom - Finding Your Purpose - Synthesis

This final recording brings everything together with a review of our reflections to date; a reflection of how we arrive at our present and what our future could look like. If you take the time to keep a journal of your questions and answers you can revisit these exercises and deepen your understanding of who you are and the gifts that you bring to the world.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to Foundations of Wisdom Exercise 4 in Finding Your Purpose.

This is a session in which we bring everything together and allow you to continue your journey in discovering and understanding what your life purpose is.

Hello,

My name is Martin Cruz-Morris.

I've been working with you over these sessions simply because I think this is a very important topic.

And in terms of a recap,

Understanding why are we doing this.

So,

Having control of our lives is the single biggest determinant of our well-being.

And if we understand our purpose,

It's always with us,

It works in every aspect of our lives and it particularly creates meaning from life's challenges.

And in the first exercise we looked at,

We did an inventory,

If you like,

Of your life over six different areas,

Career,

Social,

Financial,

Physical,

Community,

And spiritual.

Maybe you'd like to just remind yourself how well you rated your life out of ten in all those areas,

Were there particular areas that,

You know,

Were felt neglected,

If you like.

Then we looked at the five pillars of meaning,

The way we experience meaning in our lives through the areas of belonging,

Purpose,

Competence,

Control,

And transcendence,

I.

E.

Things bigger than ourselves.

And again,

How well did we feel that these areas of our lives were serving us,

Were there areas that we felt neglected?

And bearing in mind that we cannot,

In life's circumstances,

Often require us to focus on things like simple survival.

So you have to give yourself that latitude.

And then we devoted an exercise just to simply looking at your current life,

Asking ourselves a whole series of questions such as,

Which aspects of your life are the most engaging and why?

There may be answering questions we don't normally ask ourselves.

Aspects of our lives,

Aspects of our job,

And which are the least engaging areas of our current life.

So continuing the sense-making,

The stock-taking of our current life is taking time to reflect on,

You know,

What we feel,

What we think.

Maybe this is an ongoing process.

Maybe it's hard for us to understand things,

You know,

Immediately.

Okay,

So that is the recap.

And in this particular session,

The final session,

We'll just look at where have you been,

Elements of your past leading up to your present.

And then we will look at the future,

Or future possibility.

And then we'll bring it together.

So this is not an arduous set of exercises,

But again,

Just to prompt you to think.

So looking at your past,

Just allow yourself to see or feel or sense or understand,

You know,

Your personal history.

And if you send yourself way back to your childhood,

As a young person,

Did you have any activities,

Moments that you were completely lost and absorbed in what you were doing,

Things that you might have found completely fascinating?

So if you like magic moments,

This could have been creating,

Or doing,

Walking,

Cycling,

Exploring,

Could have been reading,

It could have been painting.

What did you enjoy?

Was this playing with others?

Was this playing on your own?

Was this creating imaginary worlds of your own?

Was this playing in the sandpit,

Making things?

Whatever it was,

Just take your time just to reflect what comes to mind without prompting.

Were there activities that,

As I say,

You got lost in,

You were totally absorbed in?

And understand,

Or begin to understand why you were absorbed in them.

What were you gaining?

How did you feel?

What were you thinking?

I suppose the question is,

Do these activities in any way continue today?

Have you allowed them to become overwhelmed by the busyness of life?

And another question is,

What talents did you have?

What talents were you encouraged to develop,

That you wanted to develop?

What gifts did you display when you were young?

Were they physical,

Intellectual,

Emotional,

Creative?

Just make a note of them and again ask yourself,

Do they still continue today?

Did you follow through on the talent of drawing or singing?

And then maybe you had a talent but you were discouraged from developing it.

Maybe there was something that you really wanted to do.

Maybe you enjoyed conjuring magic tricks.

Maybe you enjoyed theatre.

Maybe you just enjoyed mechanical things.

Maybe you enjoyed cooking,

Whatever it is.

Were you encouraged to develop or were you discouraged to develop?

And what were those things and how did that make you feel and how has that affected your life today?

And are these things that maybe you would like to revisit if you had the opportunity?

And then other areas of endeavour,

What did you not do through perhaps fear of failure?

Maybe you would love to have done something but you didn't.

Were those points in your life you turned your back on something because you didn't think that you would succeed?

Maybe there was nothing.

Maybe there were things that you would have now on reflection wish you had followed through on.

And another area in terms of what activities did you engage in?

What did you do in order to please or to obey others?

What did you make yourself do or what did other people make you do in order that you should please them?

And how do you feel about that?

Were these things aligned with what you might feel now that your purpose is?

And if you did things in order to please other people or to obey other people,

How has that impacted your life today?

Some people follow career paths under this in order to please others or to obey others.

So these are again paths that we have taken that maybe align or maybe do not align but again if you review those decisions,

How has that impacted you today?

And again looking more broadly across your life,

Were there moments in which you had to make extremely important decisions or events forced you to make decisions or people forced you to make decisions?

If you like,

Crucial moments.

These challenges which tested us or maybe they completely redirected us.

So what did you learn about yourself?

How did you feel?

How did you respond?

What decisions did you make?

And where did these events in your life,

How did they change your life,

Change your direction,

Change what you did?

I think a lot of us had these moments where external forces we felt didn't give us a choice.

Maybe we received a piece of advice from somebody we respected which might not have been in our best interest,

Whatever they were.

What are these moments?

How did we respond?

Where do they still impact us today?

And then questions we could also ask ourselves about,

You know as a young person,

As a child I felt discouraged when an event happened or somebody did something or said something or responded in a certain way to you or things didn't turn out the way you wanted them to do.

So you felt discouraged in some way.

And maybe we made decisions,

So looking back in which decisions did you wish that you had not made?

You know,

Wish I had not done something,

Said something or not done something or not said something.

So where have you,

Where did you impact your own journey?

And another question,

Serious question I suppose,

Reflecting on maybe a person who might have damaged me creatively.

People who exerted power over what we did,

Where we went.

Maybe there's somebody in our lives who did have that high level of influence on us.

Just reflect on how you responded,

How you feel about that today.

And maybe there are events also that you would maybe reflect,

Wonder,

You know I wonder what would have happened if I had said yes or said no or somebody had said yes or no or an opportunity that you wanted really badly had come your way.

A lot of things would fall under that heading.

And maybe in the same vein,

Looking back,

Just maybe looking at things that we might not have considered.

And if you look back at events,

Particularly in an emotional level,

You know if I let myself admit it,

I am angry that an event happened,

That something happened to you,

Something you experienced,

Something that maybe you did yourself,

Made an unwise choice or made the wrong decision.

So if I let myself,

If you sense your past life in terms of anger and emotion,

Maybe there are things that we have buried.

And if you're honest with yourself that you definitely are not happy about them.

And these are questions just designed to explore in different ways your life.

So moving from the past to future possibility,

Just a few simple questions here just to take you down different ways of thinking.

But based on what you've done so far and looking if you like inside yourself and what you're capable of,

What talents have you not developed?

Maybe you have and that's fantastic.

But if you haven't developed a particular talent or set of talents within you,

Why have you not developed them?

What happened?

What did you do?

What did you not do?

Were things possible or were things not possible?

So maybe talents that you are aware of,

But say maybe there are things,

Maybe talents and skills that you would like to develop in whatever way they may be.

You know,

Physical activities,

Mental activities,

Spiritual activities,

Meditation,

Reflection.

Maybe it's fantastic cooking.

Maybe it's artistic or musical or writing.

Maybe it's intellectual and the talents in the area of studying,

Whatever.

It's just reflecting on what you would like to develop.

And more broadly and slightly outside the way of talents,

What would you like to do if you had the opportunity?

That could be absolutely anything.

So what would you really,

Really like to do if you had the opportunity?

So asking yourself then what's holding you back from that?

Why haven't you done it?

I mean,

There may be completely pragmatic,

Reasonable reasons or maybe it's for reasons you can't quite articulate.

But what would you like to do if you had the opportunity?

And following from that,

I'd ask yourself the question,

If I had more time,

I would try,

I would do.

What would you do?

What would you try?

You have more time.

So this is expanding the time available to you.

Then on the other hand,

Ask yourself the question,

If I had less time,

I would try.

So this is more,

You have a limited amount of time,

You have to focus on what may be quite critical to you.

I would try,

I would do so and so.

In a way,

This sweeps away your day-to-day obligations.

And just allow yourself to get a sense of,

I would try this if I had less time.

If I had to move something to the top of the list of things I would love to do,

Irrespective of my other duties and obligations,

What would I do?

Maybe that gives you a sense of where your purpose lies.

So quite a list of questions,

But hopefully they've been useful and take your time and go back and revisit them.

This isn't a linear path to discovering your purpose.

I personally find that purpose is slightly modified and redefined.

And maybe as we go through life,

It changes slightly,

Evolves slightly.

But in terms of bringing things together,

In terms of synthesizing what you've done,

Reflecting on what you've discovered so far.

I mean,

Are there any themes,

Ideas,

Topics or just general realizations that are emerging?

Maybe you've been making notes,

Maybe there are things you've circled,

Maybe there are realizations that need further exploration.

Maybe in terms of your current activities,

Maybe there are things that you do,

Particularly those in the benefit of others,

Which really,

Really excite your passion,

Set your hair on fire,

If you like.

What do you currently do?

There are things that you currently do or would very much like to do.

And because sometimes this can be a new process for us,

And it's always worthwhile asking people that you can trust,

Family or friends or colleagues.

And I say this carefully,

Because maybe we don't want people giving you an opinion,

Which just gets you to align with what they would like you to be.

So ask family and friends and colleagues,

You know,

What do they see as your unique gift?

What is in the room when you are in the room or in the activity or at the event?

And just see whether there is a consistency in what they tell you.

And maybe even if you are generally on the alert when you're interacting with these people,

Maybe they will give you validation,

Feedback,

Reflect back what they value in you anyway,

Without you asking a question.

And then maybe a series of questions,

Which might also help you.

Maybe you can ask yourself the question,

I would like to be remembered as,

And just fill in that,

In terms of a legacy,

You know,

I wish that I could leave.

What would you like to leave behind you?

And just looking sideways,

If you like,

You know,

A person whose legacy inspires me is so and so,

And now why does that person,

That legacy inspire you?

Does that align with something inside you?

And then casting your mind back,

You know,

Back to your childhood,

You know,

As a child,

I dreamt of,

What did you,

How did you see yourself?

Does that in any way still resonate?

What did you dream about,

As a child,

About your future self,

About how you would like to have impacted the world?

Maybe back on the legacy question,

You know,

Maybe there's already a way in which you feel that you are leaving a legacy.

So understanding what that is,

Maybe your purpose is in there,

You might not have realized it.

And as I say,

This is an ongoing journey of discovery for us.

But then,

Say you're beginning to get in a sense of what your purpose is,

What do we do about it?

And things we can do besides recognizing it,

Honoring it,

Understanding,

Seeing where it fits into all aspects of our lives.

So maybe slowly that we are able then to bring our actions in line with our purpose.

So your everyday decisions and actions are in line with your purpose.

And this can start with your job,

Your social activities,

You know,

Do they,

What am I doing?

Does this reflect my purpose?

And it might be very valuable to you to,

You know,

Finding a collection,

A community of like-minded people who share your values and commitment to purpose.

Maybe this is your purpose is to help other people find their purpose.

But does your social life,

Does your work life,

You know,

Does that align?

Does that reflect your values and your purpose?

And if it does,

That's wonderful.

And if it doesn't,

Maybe you can see how this has impacted your life,

How you felt about your life,

How you felt about the earlier exercises we did about around well-being,

For example.

And then the final thing is,

You know,

The ability for us to bring purpose into our lives and to express it properly is an ongoing journey.

Maybe it's an endless journey,

But not,

Don't be afraid to fail in this in terms of understanding that,

You know,

What you try mean,

The ways and means that you try to bring purpose in your life maybe don't work out.

Maybe it is a question of ongoing refinement of what your purpose is.

Maybe also simply understanding that maybe because you've been fortunate to understand or begin to understand your purpose,

Other people might not value purpose at all.

That's part of the sober reality of being human.

But anyway,

Take your time to work on this,

Reflect on this,

Get feedback from other people.

Take your time,

Be kind to yourself,

But also know that no matter where you stand,

No matter who you're standing with,

Your purpose stands with you.

So I hope you found this of value and in the feedback if you would like to ask me about other areas that would be of use to you in life,

Please let me know.

Thank you for listening.

Reviews

Amazing and soul searching talk or meditation practice. Thank you!

Thank you so much for this series! With all of your amazing questions, I cannot understand why I'm so blank in what I want to do for this second part of my life now that my sons are grown. 🙏🏽✨🙏🏽