Developing A Wise Relationship To Procrastination

This meditation offers a compassionate and practical approach to working with procrastination, guiding you through a process of understanding your relationship with delayed tasks. You'll explore the physical sensations and emotions that arise when thinking about postponed work, connect with your future self, and create a specific implementation (IF-THEN-BECAUSE) plan for taking action. Rather than fighting against procrastination, this meditation teaches you to work with difficult feelings while moving forward no matter how you might be feeling in the moment, emphasizing that you don't need to feel good or motivated to begin - you simply need to take that first small step.

Transcript

Welcome to this extended meditation to support you in developing a wise and compassionate relationship with procrastination.

No matter how anxious,

Rushed,

Or uncomfortable you might be feeling at this moment,

Let's take the time to explore a deeper way of relating to our experience.

Please gently close your eyes and let's begin by taking three deep breaths,

Releasing any tension you might be feeling on the exhale.

And as you begin to settle,

Notice the sensations of your body making contact with the surface beneath you and take a moment to connect with the stability and support it provides.

And let's take a moment to connect with a sense of gratefulness,

Of wanting to show up for yourself,

Wanting to learn a little bit more about why we struggle in the way that we do,

And for taking the time to explore a wise relationship when it comes to our feelings and goals in life.

Before we begin to explore this new way of relating,

Let's take a brief moment to take inventory on how we might be feeling right now.

How is your breathing?

Is it deep or shallow?

Are you noticing it more in your chest or in your belly?

Are you holding any tension in your body?

And if so,

Can we allow to gently relax this just for the duration of this meditation?

Now bring to mind a task that you've been putting off.

Just hold it lightly in your awareness and notice any emotions that arise as you connect with this task.

Perhaps there is some anxiety or fear or a sense of uncertainty that arises.

And instead of trying to change these feelings,

Wanting them to go away,

See if you can simply observe them with a sense of curiosity.

As you connect with this task,

What are you feeling within your body?

If there is any anxiety or another feeling,

Can you locate this?

Can you find any edges or the center?

And if so,

Can you feel it in your body?

Can you find any edges or the center?

Does the center feel differently than other areas?

Remember,

These emotions are not enemies to be avoided.

They're just temporary sensations trying to protect you in some way.

Notice any aversion that arises when we want to connect with our feelings in this way.

Aversion in the body can show up as a contraction of awareness or a tendency to want to move away from a sensation or a feeling.

It can show up as a subtle attitude of disliking that which arises,

As agitation or restlessness.

All our procrastination is initiated by this aversion.

Jumping from here to there,

Not wanting to experience this and therefore wanting to experience that.

This craving for distraction.

This giving in to feel good,

To want to feel some relief from this feeling.

Often,

What arises for us is this subtle seeking for some improvement.

A desire for something to change.

Notice that this desire actually causes a sense of unsettledness,

A sense of unease,

A sense of anxiety.

Notice that this desire actually causes a sense of unsettledness,

A sense of unease.

And notice how our restlessness is fueled by our habituation to want to move away from discomfort and preferring comfort.

Our suffering depends not on the feeling or the sensation.

It depends on the struggle,

On our compulsive push or pull towards phenomena.

This is the source of our procrastination.

Not wanting to feel these feelings is preventing us from getting started.

And if we do get started,

These micro-moments pull our attention away from taking the next hard step.

The step that might feel difficult for one reason or another.

This is moving us to distraction.

Moment to moment,

Minute to minute,

Adding up to an hour,

Two days,

And sometimes even more.

But let's imagine ourselves at the end of the day.

Connecting with our future self.

Imagine them looking back at this moment.

What would this person wish for you?

What would make them proud and grateful?

What would they want you to do to help reduce the worry and rumination?

Ask yourself,

Does avoidance actually work?

Or looking back at you right now,

Do you wish you had gotten started instead?

When we connect in this way,

Our future self knows that temporary discomfort is worth it for lasting satisfaction.

These feelings,

They are just sensations.

They come and go.

They're just phenomena passing by.

And your future self knows that you're capable of doing difficult things despite feeling difficulties.

As we remain connected to the thing that we have been avoiding doing,

It might be uncomfortable to stay with our shame,

Our guilt,

Or fear.

But it is not impossible.

But it is not impossible.

Can we be kind and gentle with ourselves and our feelings without getting wrapped up in story and labeling?

And connect with what we want to do and what we can do to move forward,

To make progress without holding the view that we need to feel different than we do right now.

This is what we need to learn with procrastination.

That we can feel difficult feelings and get started anyways.

We don't have to feel motivated or excited or happy to get started.

In fact,

When it comes to procrastination,

Feelings follow behavior and not the other way around.

So let's make a specific plan together.

Visualize yourself beginning this task.

And as you see yourself in vivid detail,

Working on this,

Where will you be?

What time will you start?

And what's the very first small step that you are able to take?

Imagine yourself actually taking this step as if you were acting on it right now.

How does this feel?

Do any sensations intensify?

Are you noticing any resistance?

Any aversion?

Are you noticing any fear?

Are you noticing any anxiety?

Are you noticing any resistance?

Any aversion?

Are there any thoughts that continue to justify avoidance?

Let's try this again.

Try and be as concrete and specific as you can.

Imagine yourself vividly and feel as if it were happening for real right now.

Working on this thing that you have been procrastinating on.

Where will you be?

What time will you start?

And what's the very first small step that you will take?

Now,

Let it all go just for a moment.

And take a moment to connect why this matters to us.

Why is completing this thing important?

Why do we value having done this?

And are we clear on what the consequences are if we don't,

If we continue with our avoidance?

Now,

Imagine any potential obstacles that might arise.

What feelings or thoughts might try to pull you off track?

What kind of distractions will be tempting for you?

And how do you justify not engaging with the things that you intended and instead procrastinate?

Can you acknowledge these thoughts and feelings as compassionate impulses to want to procrastinate as they're just there to want you to feel more at ease?

But we know short-term relief leads to long-term stress.

So we need to respond to them with wisdom.

Thank you for wanting to take care of me.

But avoiding these tasks is not in my best interest.

I might feel better for a brief moment,

But I know I will end up feeling worse.

This is how we need to respond to difficult feelings,

Wanting to give in to feel good by distracting ourselves.

And how do we respond to these thoughts?

How do we respond to difficult feelings,

Wanting to give in to feel good by distracting ourselves from the difficulties that we might be experiencing?

See yourself in the moment vividly and concretely meeting such discomfort with wise understanding or with the intention to continue anyways.

Let's set an implementation intention together.

When specific time comes,

I will take this specific first step even if I don't feel like it.

I will feel my uncomfortable feelings and emotions and still take action as intended.

Now,

Fill in the details and repeat it a few times and really imagine yourself at that time taking that action.

When time comes,

I will take this action even if I don't feel like it.

I will take this action even if I don't feel like it.

I will feel my uncomfortable emotions and still take action as intended.

Take the time to imagine yourself taking all these steps as if you were actually taking action right now.

Remember,

You don't need to feel motivated to begin.

Know that you will feel better and more confident after you have begun.

All you need to do is to take that first small step and then continue taking another small step.

Taking another small step.

There is really no need to worry about completing the whole thing that you imagine you need to do.

Very little of the outcomes are in our control but what we can control is how we show up,

The time and care we dedicate,

Attend to our feelings and go ahead with our task as intended.

Imagine us at the end of today or the end of this week and we look back at having spent quality and meaningful time on the things that we have been avoiding.

How do you imagine this will feel?

Before we close,

I'd like to invite you to take a moment to feel compassion for yourself.

This pattern of procrastination is a common human experience and not a personal failing.

You're learning and growing and that takes time.

It is okay if any guilt or shame arises or if we have any critical self-thoughts.

We are now connecting with all the pieces of ourselves that through avoidance don't get the care and attention they need.

We have parts that need us to feel difficult things so we can feel empowered,

Improve our self-esteem and build a deep sense of trust and competence.

These are the parts that want to aspire to a meaningful pursue in life.

So let's meet any lingering discomfort or any self-critical narratives with a sense of loving-kindness.

Can we meet any sensations that we are feeling with a sense of welcoming,

A sense of curiosity and invitation?

It's okay to be feeling the feelings that we do.

We can feel these things and move ahead anyways.

This is a way of loving ourselves and this is a way of bathing what we experience with compassion.

And as we finish,

Please make a mental note of your specific implementation intention.

When,

Where and how you will begin your task.

When,

Where and how you will begin your task.

Hold it with gentle determination.

And perhaps you are able to notice how this mixture of presence and purpose creates its own kind of pleasure,

A deep satisfaction that comes from being fully aligned with what we care about.

An earned confidence that we know we can do this.

And as you prepare to open your eyes,

Know that this deep well of intention,

Of care always remains accessible,

Ready to refresh and enliven your actions whenever you choose to return to it.

Now let it all dissolve and let your awareness melt every effort.

And if you like,

Take another deep breath in and release any tension that you've developed over this practice.

And when you're ready,

Slowly open your eyes.

Thank you for showing up today.

Please come back to this meditation any time you need to breathe in new life in your connection to your feelings and your goals.

Remember,

The magic you're looking for is often in the work you have been avoiding.

You can do this.

Thank you and see you next time.