What happens when you begin to outgrow the people you love?
Friends,
Family,
The very people who once felt like home.
I'm talking about how challenging it is to show up in your power as your authentic self when you are surrounded by an environment that mirrors back what you are not.
Let's dive into the heartbreak of growth,
Something that is not so often talked about in the personal development circles,
And why becoming who you're meant to be can feel at times like betrayal.
A few years back I found myself in a strange in-between.
I was doing the work,
Same work you're doing,
Healing,
Growing,
Aligning with my core values and my sense of purpose.
I felt alive,
More alive than I had ever felt in my entire life.
I felt whole,
More me than I'd ever been before.
But at the same time I felt lonelier than ever.
I would visit family,
Reconnect with old friends,
And there it was.
Tension,
Discomfort,
The sense of not quite fitting in.
They'd say things like,
You've changed.
Or I would get these sarcastic quips that in one way or another meant,
You think you're better than us now?
And I get it,
I had changed,
But not out of pride,
Not to leave them behind.
I changed because I finally started loving myself.
Here's the hardest part.
Every interaction felt like a choice.
Stay small to stay connected,
Or grow and risk being rejected.
I remember one dinner,
Sharing something I was deeply passionate about.
It was one of my sacred stories.
Personal growth,
Healing,
Inner leadership.
And what I got back was silence,
And then sarcasm.
Then someone completely changed the subject,
And I felt it in my gut.
This place,
These dynamics,
They no longer fit who I am becoming.
And that realization,
It broke me,
Because I loved these people.
They were my roots,
My history,
My home.
But I realized in that moment,
I couldn't keep shrinking to fit a version of myself that no longer existed.
If this sounds familiar,
Know that you're not alone.
I've met countless people throughout this journey,
This in-between space they live in,
Where you're no longer who you were,
But not yet fully who you're becoming.
And in that space,
Growth can feel like a betrayal.
You start speaking your truth,
Start setting boundaries,
Prioritizing your mental and emotional and spiritual health,
And then suddenly the people who once loved you start pulling away.
They say,
You're different.
You're so serious now.
Come on,
You used to be fun.
And it hurts,
Deeply.
It feels gutting.
Because growth at first can isolate you,
Especially when it disrupts the roles and the expectations others placed on you.
And I've seen this especially in the workplace setting,
Where you change,
But your workplace doesn't.
And what once felt comforting,
What once felt rewarding,
Now feels isolating and detrimental to your well health and well-being.
But I want to share one thing today that I hope lands deeply within,
And it's this.
You are not wrong for growing.
You are not selfish.
You are not arrogant.
You are simply honoring the call to become who you were always meant to be.
You are honoring the call to become who you were always meant to be.
And yeah,
Some people won't come with you.
And that's not your fault.
That's the cost of becoming,
Of remembering yourself.
The cost of staying small is far greater than the pain of letting go.
The cost of staying small is far greater than the pain of letting go.
So,
What do you do when the people closest to you no longer support the person you are becoming?
You have two choices.
Shrink yourself for their comfort and lose yourself in the process,
Or step forward in your growth and allow relationships to evolve,
Shift,
Or molt and fall away.
Neither path is easy.
I want to be very clear about that.
There is no easy path here.
But only one leads to your truth.
And here's what I've learned.
You can outgrow people and still love them.
You can release the need for approval and instead choose alignment.
And when you do,
You'll start attracting people,
Spaces,
Environments,
Communities that don't just tolerate your evolution.
They celebrate it.
That's the key difference there.
It's time to outgrow being around people and spaces that tolerate your evolution and instead focus on those spaces,
Those places,
Those people that celebrate your evolution.
So,
Take a moment to reflect here.
Ask yourself,
Who in my life truly supports the person I'm becoming?
Join me today in remembering this.
You are not who you were.
You are becoming.
You are remembering.
And that process deserves support,
Love,
And space.
In this space,
I've created this meditation for you to listen to whenever you feel yourself falling into a sense of guilt or separation from who you truly are.
Let this be a space to breathe,
To honor the truth of your growth,
And to begin the sacred act of letting go with love.
Go ahead and exhale out through your mouth,
Taking a deep breath in here through your nose,
Filling up your lower belly,
Lower back,
Upper back,
Upper chest,
And then letting it all out through your mouth.
And continue to breathe here,
Allowing your body to feel supported by the ground beneath you.
Let your hands rest gently.
Close your eyes if that feels comfortable,
And allow yourself to breathe here in this moment.
Feel the rhythm of your breath.
Let it remind you that you are here.
You are safe.
You are whole.
You are remembering who you are in this life.
Now bring to mind someone or a group of people who you feel yourself outgrowing.
Notice what comes up in your body as you imagine them and you see them.
Maybe there's tension,
A heaviness,
Or even some grief.
Allow yourself to feel this without judgment.
This is sacred.
Then say the following words aloud or in your mind's eye.
I honor the love that once was.
I honor who I was when we walked together.
I honor the love that once was.
I honor who I was when we walked together.
I honor the love that once was.
I honor who I was when we walked together.
Feel the truth of these words.
You are not wrong for loving them and you are not wrong for growing.
Bring to mind a gentle light around your heart.
Warm,
Steady,
Calming.
You choose the color.
As you sit in this light,
Say out loud or in your mind's eye,
It is safe for me to grow.
I do not have to shrink for connection.
I release guilt.
I reclaim my truth.
It is safe for me to grow.
I do not have to shrink for connection.
I release guilt.
I reclaim my truth.
Let these words soften any guilt or fear.
You can let go and still love.
You can release without abandoning yourself.
Breathe into this truth.
Now in your mind's eye,
See yourself standing across from a person or a group that you especially feel yourself outgrowing.
With this love in your heart,
You say,
I thank you.
I release you.
I bless you.
I thank you.
I release you.
I bless you.
I now walk the path that honors who I am becoming.
I now walk the path that honors who I am becoming.
Feel the space opening around you.
A new path,
Clear,
Spacious,
Aligned.
Let yourself step onto this path.
One step,
Then another,
And another.
Feel yourself walking in the direction of your truth.
I call in people who see me.
I call in spaces that support me.
I call in love that honors my truth.
I call in people who see me.
I call in spaces that support me.
I call in love that honors my truth.
Feel your body respond and know that you are not alone.
The more you align with your truth,
The more life aligns with you.
The more you align with your truth,
The more life aligns with you.
Taking a deep breath here,
Inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth.
Bring your awareness fully back to your body,
Back to the room,
Wiggling your fingers and your toes gently.
And when you're ready,
Open up your eyes and carry this feeling of alignment into your day,
Knowing that every step you take toward your truth is a step toward deeper peace,
Deeper alignment,
And eternal connection.
You are loved.
You are deeply supported.
And you are free.
You are loved.
You are supported.
You are free.
Thank you for joining me in practicing today.
