I'd like to talk about my greatest fear.
I'm talking about FOMO,
Also known as the fear of missing out.
And FOMO,
Unfortunately,
I find myself chasing it over and over and over again.
Now perhaps you can relate to this.
See the thing is,
Sometimes not giving in to FOMO allows you to focus on the things that matter most.
It allows you to not be afraid that you are missing out on the great time with friends or something along those lines.
I've been hearing a lot of people around me talk about FOMO,
And my good friend Dan comes to mind.
Because he wanted to join me the other day for a full moon festival that involved fire dancing,
An excellent DJ,
And a live visionary art painting from Alex and Allison Gray.
Now the festival was like Burning Man meets Cirque du Soleil.
It was an incredible time.
It was a lot of fun,
I gained a lot of insight,
I had great conversation,
And I connected with just some truly inspiring people.
So did Dan miss out on this event?
I guess so,
But his choice in not going is a noble one.
Because Dan couldn't go to the festival,
Or rather he chose to say no to FOMO and recognize the excitement and the path that he's currently on.
He found himself at the train station in Washington DC where he lives with a potential 6 hour train ride to come stay at my place.
He had nothing packed,
No change of clothes or anything,
As he almost spontaneously boarded the train to come visit.
He realized that in that moment he was choosing FOMO.
He was afraid that by not coming up to visit me,
He would be missing out on an adventure,
And a memory that he could tuck away in his mental scrapbook.
But even though I'm honored to be Dan's friend,
I'm glad that he chose to stay home.
I learned a lot from that.
So he let the train go by,
He listened to the whistle blow,
And returned to his car to dive further into his firefighter training.
He has a couple of weeks to prove himself to the fire department in DC that he is a high quality hire,
And will add incredible value to the firefighting team.
Dan is choosing to be the best version of himself,
And determined to be the best firefighter he can be.
He's choosing to recognize FOMO,
Which is something I myself admit am slowly getting better at.
So how does one deal with FOMO?
Here's a bit of what Dan had to say.
How do you deal with FOMO?
How do you deal with missing out?
I don't know if you can.
There are certain things you can do,
But the most important thing is,
At least for myself,
Is to make a list.
If you missed out this time,
How can you make it up next time?
Like the next time you do something with that person,
Will you make twice the effort to hang out with them?
Will you sacrifice the other thing?
Because for me,
The absolute worst is habitual missing out.
Yes,
I know that occasionally I can't make everything.
I'm not on the present,
But habits are important.
And is this a habit?
And if it's starting to become a habit,
I definitely have to do the thing.
But sometimes you do miss out.
And like I said,
Keeping track is one of the ways that I handle FOMO.
As Dr.
Wayne Dyer would put it,
Dan is living his life on purpose because he is diving headfirst into what he is passionate about and better serves humanity as a whole,
Even when this dedication comes at the cost of missing out on other things like meeting up with friends.
Dan saves lives.
He spent the last decade serving the fire department in Memphis,
Tennessee,
And he now rides the red fire truck through the crowded D.
C.
Streets.
His last 24 hour shift had 20 house fire calls.
That's incredible.
But even though he does love his job and he finds a deep seat of purpose in his life's work,
That doesn't mean FOMO doesn't creep up.
Because when you live your life on purpose,
You dive into excitement,
You choose excitement,
You recognize what makes your heart dance,
And you're not afraid to move your feet.
As Anne Lamott once said,
Don't look at your feet as if you're doing it right.
Just dance.
Perhaps you can relate to Dan.
I know there isn't a week or a day that goes by where I don't stop and recognize FOMO.
Right now,
I'm thinking about,
For instance,
The yoga class that I'm missing,
The book that's still unread on my bookshelf,
The books that are still unread on my bookshelf,
Or the friendships that I haven't been able to nurture much over the past years,
Or the cultures that I have yet to travel to,
Or the many other bucket list items that I still have to explore.
But I'm choosing to be here with you,
And that's more purposeful to me.
I'm honored that you choose to listen to this podcast,
And I'm determined to be the best version of myself for you.
So here's just one tip that I've pulled from all the interviews and research.
Whenever you're faced with a fork in the road,
Be confident on the path that you currently walk on,
And recognize that FOMO is out of the deficit mindset,
As my friend Jill calls it.
The deficit mindset is feeling like missing out on an event will mean that I am less of something by not going to something or experiencing something.
The opposite is recognizing how fully alive you already are right here,
Right now,
And you don't need the event that triggered FOMO to live your life on purpose.
Sometimes not giving in to FOMO allows you to focus on the things that matter most.
Sometimes the path you are currently on,
The project that you're working on instead of spending time with friends,
The work you are doing instead of building your hobby,
The children you are raising instead of vagabonding around the world,
And so on and so on.
This is your hero's journey.
It's a beautiful path that fulfills you without the need to chase FOMO.
Now what about you?
When have you chosen not to chase FOMO and chose a higher path on purpose,
One that focused on the present?
I'm wishing you all a beautiful day full of love,
Light,
And adventure,
And of course one that lets go of FOMO.
So be here right now and let's dance.
