Breaking Through Personal Limitations

It’s entirely normal for us to run into some sort of wall in our lives, whether that’s in the work that we do or it’s in our personal lives. But how does one break out of a rut and push through personal limitations? In this talk, I offer five considerations.

Transcript

It's entirely normal for us to run into some sort of wall in our lives,

Whether that's the work we do in our personal lives or our profession.

In fact,

I'm often reminded that feeling in a creative rut is actually a good thing.

Because we are then aware of the situation,

We're aware that we ran into a wall.

And that's,

There's no easy way to acknowledge that.

I remember David Foster Wallace made that quite clear when he gave his This is Water commencement speech.

In it,

I remember him saying,

It is extremely difficult to stay alert and attentive instead of getting hypnotized by the constant monologue inside your head.

So if you have a voice in your mind that calls you an imposter or overly criticizes every single detail so much that you freeze,

Know that you are most certainly normal.

So how does one break out of a rut and push through personal limitations?

In this video,

I'm going to offer five considerations.

Give it a try and simply let me know what works for you.

Number one is to take your artist self on a date.

The whole purpose of art is to evoke awareness in another,

To break a mold,

To get someone to think different.

So take your artist on a date.

And I mean that seriously.

Go ahead and take the part of you that's an artist on a date.

And you can even add in dinner and a movie if you'd like.

Most of you probably know Julia Cameron,

The author of The Artist's Way.

And in her book,

She argues that if we take our artist self on a date,

It helps us think beyond our own barriers of thought.

Yet she's not the first one,

Of course,

To suggest this.

We all have many parts that make up our whole system.

One of those is a creative part that absolutely loves creating.

Yet it needs nurturance.

It needs attention.

So what does this look like?

I personally often go to an art gallery with a notebook to write down my thoughts on a few pieces of paper or simply reflect on what calls to my attention.

When I lived in New York,

I would go to Cosum,

A beautiful New Age art gallery by Alex and Allison Gray,

Where they displayed their psychedelic artwork.

And the Gray's work is amazing.

It's awe-inspiring with huge paintings that take cubism and turn it all sorts of ways.

One image stood out to me in particular,

A beautiful painting of a woman nursing her child.

I have a copy of it in my house.

It shows the outside,

The physical body,

The inside,

And the energetic systems of the mother and the child.

I mean,

Honestly,

I can't really put their art into words.

So take a look and see what I mean at Cosum.

For one hour,

I would walk around the art gallery,

And then I would sit down with my notebook and oftentimes I would write thoughts or a poem.

It was a moment to flesh out my own thinking.

And it was only an hour,

But it was enough to tilt the way that I look at things.

So consider taking your art itself on a one date this week.

The only criteria is that you go alone.

Go for a walk on wild land if you're trained to handle such conditions.

Visit an art gallery.

Or simply go to a library and read something new.

You can even walk around a new neighborhood.

My son teaches me about how to maintain an innocent mindset.

The whole point is to shock the nervous system into something new.

So the second one is to read a new and challenging book,

Something that you know absolutely nothing about.

So for example,

I knew very little about organizing and I picked up a book you may know,

Marie Kondo's Spark Joy,

And it's opened up my mind to the freedom that comes from tidying up our lives.

Number three is maintain stoic discipline.

When I read Seneca's letters,

The Roman philosopher,

One thing stands out to me,

And that's the habit of discipline.

Seneca argues that if we discipline ourselves to experience a worst case scenario for a short time,

We no longer allow fear of that scenario to control our lives.

So if you fear losing your money,

Say from leaving a salaried job to pursue an entrepreneurial dream,

Then Seneca would suggest that you experience living in poverty for a short time.

Say from one week or one day.

Or you can try living off a dollar a day like two college students did in a powerful documentary you may have seen called Living on One Dollar.

But as a dad,

Totally understand if that one's not in your cards right now.

So maybe if living off of rice and water scares you,

Consider trying that for just a day.

The point is to shake hands with what scares you,

To kiss your lips to fear so it no longer has control.

Okay,

Four is to dive into philosophical inquiry.

So I love deep philosophical conversations.

Doing so forces us to think outside our own confirmation bias.

So while surrounding ourselves with empowering people is great,

Doing so traps us into thinking in a bubble.

We see this now more than ever with the social media bubbles that we can live in.

So here's something to consider.

When I moved to San Diego,

I joined a few people and created a junto after reading that Benjamin Franklin did this frequently in his lifetime.

We meet every month,

We've been doing this for years,

And we discuss topics that deepen our understanding and widen our perspective.

For those of you in New York,

Ron Gross runs a great Socratic gathering up on the west side in Columbia University.

When I went there,

I was in awe of who showed up.

One college professor sat to my right from Columbia,

A few homeless who lived in the harsh streets of Manhattan,

One middle-aged woman in need of a career change,

And a couple of broke college students.

There was also a marketing consultant.

We disagreed far more than we agreed,

And we had a heck of a good time doing it.

One thing was for sure.

I walked out of that discussion with my head spinning with new thoughts.

The last one I have for you today is organize a mastermind.

Consider creating a small mastermind group of three to five people,

That's it,

Where each of you has a similar goal,

Like to launch a business or to create a podcast or to better your teaching practice or coaching practice or to be a better mother or father for a few examples.

The thing here is to have one A-level person in the group who has pushed through the barriers that you are currently working to push through.

For example,

If you're working to launch a new business,

Ask someone to join the group who can coach you all through the difficulties in starting up a new business venture.

Do you need to pay them?

That's often asked.

Most of the time,

No.

They will equally gain much from the mastermind because,

Well,

Here's the secret,

Right?

If someone's just a little bit further than you,

When you teach something,

You really,

You actually have to learn it.

And any teachers out there know what I'm talking about.

Teaching concretizes learning.

Sometimes,

Though,

Of course,

It does pay to hire a coach or someone who will mentor your group to push the barriers,

But it's not always the case.

This holds true for sports just as much as it does for,

Of course,

Personal growth.

Okay,

So what about you?

Which of these tips,

If any,

Ring true for you?

Like always,

I love to hear from you and learn of other ways to break through personal limitations.

I wish you all a beautiful week full of love,

Full of light,

And full of adventure.

Reviews

Love these ideas!

Inspiring and informative advice as always - all of which I’ll be applying and integrating into my life. Particularly my new mantra: “shake hands with what scares you.” Thanks as always for sharing!

Wonderbar of a reminder! Thank you for this dose of brilliance before bed! Namaste 💫