Al-Dabala-Hima nushtaanirrajee bismillahir-rahmaanirraheem Allah,
Welcome to the remembrance call.
One of the requests that I saw was how to trust that my needs are going to be met.
I want to encourage you to take a moment now and to just notice how you're feeling and what's true for you in your heart,
What's true for you in your body memory,
And your emotions.
So many of us have struggled.
Maybe you have struggled too,
Times where expectations you had weren't met,
Times when you imagined things weren't going to work well and they didn't.
So painful.
And feel how you feel with multiple memories,
Experiences of missed expectations,
Of the pain,
Of the disappointment.
There's a way that all of those expectations add up to feeling like you live in a very cramped space.
Maybe things really can't change.
Just feel that constriction,
Feel that tightness,
And just be with it without changing anything,
Without trying to break free.
I'm guessing that this feeling is often accompanied by a struggle,
Resistance,
An agitation,
Desire to get out.
I'm encouraging you to take a nice gentle breath and just be with that.
A carbohydrate begins.
And then bowing your head,
Bowing your heart,
Finding sincerity,
Finding humility that is not collapse.
Beginning to remember the presence of the divine,
Beginning to call the name of the divine through your open door,
Through your heart,
Without asking for anything different,
Without trying to change anything.
Just is love available even here?
Is the divine present even here?
Just asking,
Noticing.
Unh.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Letting your remembrance be gentle.
Let it be a calling.
Let it be a remembering.
Ah.
There is a saying in Sufism of being in expectation of divine generosity and of being patient with divine decree.
Our walking in remembrance,
Our walking in our relationship with the Oneness is to be in this expectation,
This learning,
This trust and knowledge of the divine that there is so much generosity that is pouring down upon us.
At the same time there is a surrender because the ego sometimes thinks it knows what we need.
And sometimes the divine isn't withholding something but simply sending something other than what the ego is thinking we should receive.
And so a sincerity,
A true openness,
A willingness to be surprised.
Just continuing to call the name of the divine through your heart.
Finding the curiosity and the expectation of the love of the generosity of the abundance.
And also finding patience for your ego and all that it asks for and yearns for.
Much of which may not come to it exactly in that way.
And this is not a hidden way of asking for us to collapse.
To accept some spiritual quote unquote love and to not feel the sustenance in the world itself.
There is sustenance.
There is provision for our bodies,
For our physicalities.
Part of coming into a healthy relationship with provision.
Starting to open the eyes of our heart to seeing what we didn't see before and to stop reaching for what isn't there.
So seeing if you can let yourself drop in even more deeply.
Letting the eye of your heart open even more widely and letting yourself let go even more.
While opening your heart and your being to drink.
Allah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Allah.
Noticing what does your heart see that's been there that maybe you hadn't noticed.
Letting your eyes,
The eyes of the ego,
Let go of what it was reaching for,
What it was grasping for.
And instead in the humility and the sincerity that is not collapse.
Beginning to ask for a willingness to be surprised,
Noticing what is truly there and what is possible.
Asking.
Asking.
Allah.
Ah.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
Just noticing what you notice in your own heart and what's there now.
Just noticing any authentic appreciation or gratitude,
Letting yourself express that to the Divine.
Allah.
And if you wish,
Staying in remembrance as long as you like.
And if this is your time to turn your attention back to the world,
Remembering that your heart,
That the Divine is available in every moment.
Taking a nice gentle breath.
Bringing your attention back.
Amen.
