Working with the Inner Critic

An in-the-moment exercise for confronting the nagging, habitual voice of self-criticism most of us experience both within our mindfulness practice, and outside of it.

Transcript

Music Nearly everyone recognizes the inner critic,

That judgmental voice inside us that heckles and cuts us down.

Whatever we do isn't enough,

And during times we would be kind to our best friend,

We become down on ourselves instead.

This push for perfect is exhausting,

But often avoidable with practice.

Rationalizing with what is basically an irrational habit doesn't help much.

The critics like the old two guys in the balcony on the old Muppet Show,

Endlessly deriding whatever happens without reason at all.

Reasoning with our inner tyrant validates it as if it deserves our attention,

When mostly it's just an unhelpful pattern of thinking we've picked up along the way.

Through practice we aim to give self-judgment less energy and thought.

Labeling it briefly in our minds,

That's judgment again,

That's self-doubt,

We notice it and then shift our attention somewhere else instead,

Not forcing it away but not leaping into debate either.

To start this mindfulness practice,

Begin by focusing on breathing.

Notice the physical sensation of breathing in,

And then breathing out.

As best as you're able,

Find yourself a posture of ease and strength.

However you're feeling right now,

Let things alone for these next few moments.

Your attention wanders and then coming back to breathing in,

And breathing out.

For many of us this is already enough to bring self-judgment to mind.

You may immediately start thinking I'm not very good at this or I should do this more often,

Or countless other ways judgment finds its way into our lives.

If nothing's come to mind related to judgment,

That's great.

But for this brief practice today,

Reflect on somewhere in life you do feel judged,

Around school or work,

As a parent,

Friend or child,

Or maybe in something that happened in your life recently.

Notice first how judgment is more than a single thought.

It may affect how you feel with tension or unease somewhere in your body.

It may influence your emotional state.

And notice where your thoughts go when experiencing this kind of self-criticism,

And the patterns you fall into under this kind of stress.

Now for the next few minutes,

Practice letting that voice of judgment,

That inner critic alone,

Stop wrestling with it or appeasing it or pushing it away.

Label it if you like,

Judgment,

Or even give it a specific name if you prefer.

Recognize what judgment feels like to you and then let it be.

On each in-breath as you sit,

Acknowledge whatever you're experiencing right now in your body and your emotions and your thoughts.

Nothing to fix or change.

This is what's going on right now.

And on each out-breath,

Offer yourself relief.

Wish yourself what you would a close friend with the same doubts.

Set an intention in an unforced way,

Breathing out wishing yourself relief,

Or strength,

Or humor,

Or joy,

Or anything else that feels appropriate right now.

Breathing in,

This is how things are.

And breathing out focusing on ease or whatever else comes to mind.

Again,

Wherever your mind is gone,

On the next in-breath,

Noticing and guiding your attention,

Recognizing whatever is going on for you.

And on the out-breath,

Picturing an intention without strain for yourself.

Wishing yourself well,

Not because you deserve it more than anyone else,

But because you deserve it as much as anyone else.

Breathing in,

Paying attention,

And breathing out,

Letting go.

Instead of wrestling with our inner heckler and trying to convince ourselves we're fine,

We can develop awareness that it represents little more than a less than helpful habit.

Use this practice at any time during the day you catch yourself caught up in self-judgment and focus somewhere more useful instead.

Reviews

Well done, as Mark's meditations always are. I appreciate the silences for our own practice.

Thank you for this clear direction on noticing the inner critic and releasing the judgement it brings. A simple and doable practice that helped me to soothe and regulate my thoughts and feelings.

Thank you! 🙏🙏🙏

Helpful. I would prefer a goodbye, thanks or something like that at the end rather than the music.

The guidance in the beginning was a little fast, but I loved the meditation with the increasing longer pauses to practise.

Great meditation. Im going to come back to this often whenever i struggle with the inner critic

Now I just have to remember to "breath in and let it go" when judgarella appear, hahahaha.

Thank you. Bookmarked this one copy,t

Calming practise thank you

Excellent, simple yet profound technique. Thanks for this meditation 🙌

This was a very helpful meditation to help me accept my inner critic, give it a name, and just move on to focus my energies on something more useful than wrestling with him. "Cur" (short for curmudgeon), is the name of my inner critic. He is, for me, appropriately named. Thank you, sir, for this inspirational meditation. James Creighton, Sacramento, CA

Very simple and effective. I found the guided moments and the silence useful and well-paced.

This is great...Quieting the Inner Critic and treating yourself the way you would your best friend.

Effective reminder--you had me with the muppet critic guys in the balcony lol

Very helpful. Thank you.

Thank you. I was beating myself up and this will help me with a path forward

Thank you for a message I need to hear more often.

Nicely done. 🙏🏾