This next practice is called loving kindness meditation.
In this type of compassion practice,
There's no aim to force anything to happen.
You can't will yourself into having any particular feelings towards yourself or towards anyone else.
Rather,
The practice is simply to remind you that you deserve happiness and ease no more and no less than anyone else.
And the same goes for your child,
Your family,
Your friends,
Your neighbors,
And even everyone around the world.
Everyone is driven by an inner desire to avoid suffering and to find a measure of peace.
In starting the practice,
Find a comfortable,
Stable position,
Either seated or lying down,
And observe the next several breaths.
Notice how you're feeling right now while letting go of any sense of striving or effort to feel otherwise.
You cannot force yourself to feel relaxed,
Non-judgmental,
Or anything else in particular.
Let yourself feel whatever it is you feel right now.
Now if you like to start,
Picture a child,
Yours or somebody else's,
Either as they are now or as they were as an infant.
Imagine what you most wish for him or for her.
This unbounded affection,
Deeper than any surface emotion,
Has traditionally been encompassed with four phrases.
May you be happy,
May you be healthy,
May you feel safe,
And may you live your life with ease.
Throughout the practice,
Use these phrases or any others that capture your deepest wishes.
Silently repeat them at a comfortable pace,
Timed with your breathing,
And continue while picturing a child.
May you be happy,
May you be healthy,
May you feel safe,
And may you live your life with ease.
Now,
Move your attention to yourself,
Your inner critic,
Your voice of self-judgment may resist,
Yet you have the same rights as anyone else.
May I be happy,
May I be healthy,
May I feel safe,
And may I live my life with ease.
Without any sort of demand or trying to force anything in particular,
Offer yourself the same wishes for well-being you extended to your child.
As you might have with other practices,
Use the breath or body sensations for a focus of attention.
Each time you find yourself distracted,
Come back to these same phrases.
May I be happy,
May I be healthy,
May I feel safe,
Both literally in my environment and emotionally and internally,
And may I live my life with ease.
May I be happy,
May I be healthy,
May I feel safe,
May I live my life with ease.
Not putting your own needs above anybody else's,
Not falsely glossing over anything you feel you'd like to work on or change,
But allowing yourself the same perspective you'd give to your child or a close friend.
May I be happy,
May I be healthy,
May I feel safe,
And may I live my life with ease.
Each time you find yourself distracted,
Your attention elsewhere,
Coming back once again and now imagine a close friend or someone who's been unconditionally supportive,
A person for whom you have almost entirely positive feelings.
This person also desires happiness or ease,
Whether going through a stretch of relative ease or more acutely in need of your emotional support right now.
And if no one comes to mind,
That's fine and also quite common.
Just continue with the same practice for yourself.
And now picturing that person or using their name and returning to the same phrases,
May you feel happy,
May you feel healthy,
May you feel safe,
And may you live your life with ease.
May you feel happy,
May you feel healthy,
May you feel safe,
And may you live your life with ease.
Again,
Not trying to force any particular feeling,
Just offering them your best wishes.
And next,
Moving your attention to a neutral person,
Someone you see around but don't really know.
It might be someone at a local store or a gas station or her works nearby.
Giving the same wishes to this neutral person without judging whatever you actually feel or aiming to push yourself to feel anything,
Just recognizing that whoever they are,
However they live,
They're driven in many ways by the same basic desires.
Maybe paying attention in this way and using the same phrases,
May you be happy,
May you be healthy,
May you feel safe,
And may you live your life with ease.
Now,
Bring to mind a difficult person,
Not the most difficult person in your life,
But someone you've disagreed with in a smaller way.
Your perspectives differ and you must firmly take care of yourself.
Yet this difficult person's actions are also driven by a wish for happiness.
If this person found relief from his or her own suffering,
It's likely their behavior would change.
And if it's easier,
You can include yourself in this part of the practice.
May we both be happy.
May we both be healthy.
May we both feel safe.
And may we both live our lives with ease.
And if this becomes too challenging,
You can always return to the practice for yourself once again.
May we both be happy.
May we both be healthy.
May we both feel safe.
And may we both live our lives with ease.
And as we move into the last few minutes of the practice,
Picture now your entire family.
And individually or as a group,
Return again to the same phrases.
May all of us be happy.
May all of us be healthy.
May all of us feel safe.
And may we all live our lives with ease.
May we all be happy.
May we all be healthy.
May we all feel safe.
And may we all live our lives with ease.
And as we move into the next few minutes,
Picture now your entire family.
May we all live our lives with ease.
And finally,
In ending if you like,
Extend the same types of wishes to everyone in the world,
People outside your family.
In an unforced way,
Sending a compassionate wish for well-being to anyone you imagine anywhere.
May all people find happiness.
May all people find health.
May all people find safety.
And may all people live their lives with ease.
And when you're ready,
Opening your eyes,
Taking note again of sounds and sensations,
Thoughts and emotions.
And when you're ready,
Getting up and continuing on with your day.
